When JJ arrives at the BAU Reid is the first to see her.

"Hey! How you feeling?"

JJ shrugs. "Better. Physically I'm fine. Mentally, well, it might take a few days."

"I'm sure it will. If you need to talk or…or anything, I'm here for you."

JJ smiles and squeezes his arm. "Thanks, Spence. Well, I better get to my desk and find out when I meet with IAB."

"Good luck. Word has it your old buddy John Hammond is leading your interview," Reid warns her with a roll of his eyes.

JJ groans. "Great. So, should I just turn in my badge and gun now?"

Reid grins. "Nah, let him have the pleasure of taking them."

JJ chuckles, glad she and Reid can joke about the jerk that has a grudge against BAU teams. As she walks past Emily's desk, the brunette winks a greeting to her since she's on the phone. JJ takes a deep breath as she starts up her computer.

And there it is: the message with high alert in her email regarding her meeting with IAB. She clicks on it and sees she has half an hour. Her phone rings and she sees it's Hotch.

"Hey, Hotch."

"Did you see the email?"

"Yes."

"Good. Come up here for a few minutes."

"Be right there."

JJ grabs a pad and pen. She pats Emily on the shoulder as she passes her. Hotch gestures to his couch and closes the door to his office.

"Did your appointment go okay?"

JJ nods. "Mostly. Still have a few things to work through but that's to be expected, I guess."

Hotch nods. "Definitely."

JJ studies him a moment. "So, IAB wants to burn me?"

Hotch shrugs. "I honestly don't know. Hammond is running the show so maybe just for spite. Just remember, JJ, tell him only what you know firsthand."

JJ raises an eyebrow. "Firsthand? In other words, I sat down to lunch and woke up in the hospital?"

Hotch nods. "Yes. Anything we've filled in for you don't mention. If your story were to vary from ours in any way they'll claim it is deception on your part."

"Shit. Hadn't thought of that." She chuckles. "Guess my meeting with them won't last long then since the last thing I remember is starting to eat my lunch." She pauses a moment. "Hotch…kicking you…I would have never- -"

"You made Emily tell you everything?"

JJ nods. "I had to know. I saw her scratches and had to know what I did to the rest of you. I am so, so sorry, Hotch."

Hotch smiles. "I've already told you, JJ, you're forgiven. Besides, something tells me there's been plenty of times over the years you wanted to give me a good swift kick. You're probably kind of mad you don't remember finally doing it."

JJ laughs. "Uh, well, not going to confirm or deny any of that." She sighs. "Seriously, though, I know you hear things. Is that bastard after my badge?"

"He won't get it. You're not the first agent to be somehow drugged in the line of duty causing abnormal behavior. He has no precedence to stand on to punish you for that attack. If he tries, he'll lose his own badge because IAB will not want to deal with the backlash. Just be honest in there, JJ. That's all you have to do."

JJ nods. "I will. Thanks, Hotch."


Special Agent John Hammond nods to the woman who is recording the proceedings. JJ sits calmly across from him and Chief Straus. She has nothing to hide and she knows it. She has a folder in front of her to counter one accusation he may try to make. Hammond clears his throat.

"Agent Jareau, this meeting is to determine what punishment if any should be meted out to you after your drug use and subsequent attack on your team."

JJ frowns. "I was drugged by an unsub, Agent Hammond. Make sure you state that I was attacked as opposed to willingly used a controlled substance."

Hammond raises an eyebrow. "If this meeting determines that was, in fact, the case, that is how I will report it."

JJ just clenches her mouth closed, the rest of her body not betraying her irritation with the smug bastard. Hammond opens the folder in front of him.

"I have here the statement that was taken from you at the hospital. Let's just get it on record, shall we? Now, what is the last thing you remember before your violent outburst?"

"We had ordered in lunch. The deli delivered sandwiches and sides but we just got drinks out of the vending machine. I had a bottle of water. I ate 2 bites of my sandwich, a couple forkfuls of pasta salad, and took a drink. I started to get hot so I drank some more." She frowns, remembering. "I…I looked up at Agent Prentiss and…and after that there's nothing until I woke up in hospital."

"So you don't remember attempting to rape Agent Prentiss?"

JJ blushes in shame. "No, I don't," she says softly.

"And you don't remember attacking your boss and teammates? Or pulling your sidearm?"

JJ looks up sharply at that. Emily hadn't told her about the gun. "NO! None of that. I…I pulled my gun?" she asks.

Hammond nods. "Yes, you did. I find it awfully convenient that you don't recall any of your actions."

"It's not convenient," JJ insists. "I attacked my team, Agent Hammond. People I trust with my life. I've apologized to them for actions I don't even remember and if I could remember I'm not sure I could look them in the face. That weighs on my mind as much as the attack does."

"So you say," Hammond mutters.

Straus glances at him. "Agent Hammond, that utterance could be construed as a personal attack. I warn you to stick to facts, not to a personal vendetta."

Hammond's ears flash red at the on-record reprimand. He lifts up a form from the folder in front of him.

"Agent Jareau, you contend that you are not a regular user of drugs and alcohol?"

"Correct. I drink socially but not to excess," she confirms. "And until this incident I had never even experimented with controlled substances."

"I see. And yet this report says the concentration of drugs in your system was consistent with a regular user of illegal narcotics."

"That report was based on the swabs taken on my hands and the blood test done immediately after the incident. It was high because of the toxicity of the topical drug Mr. Winkler used. The team's investigation revealed he had tested his formula on several homeless men until he found out how strong it needed to be to get the results he wanted. As such, all the victims, myself included, were dosed with a high level narcotic."

"And can you prove that you aren't a regular drug user?" he asks, a smug grin still on his face.

JJ raises an eyebrow. "Yes, I can." She hands him the folder. "The day before this happened I'd gone through a full round of blood tests with my doctor in preparation for artificial insemination later this year."

Hammond's smile is smacked off his face. Straus hides her smile as she takes the folder Hammond stares at as if it is a rattlesnake. She studies the report, signed by Dr. Kendle Manton before handing it to the IAB representative. Straus hands the paper inside towards Hammond.

"I think you'll find this substantiates Agent Jareau's assertion that she is not a regular drug user."

Hammond stares at the paper, trying to figure out a way to deny it. But he can't. He knows he will have to follow up with the doctor but in his heart he knows it will prove legitimate. He grabs the paper and shoves it into his folder. He stands.

"Pending confirmation of this test, you are confined to desk duty, Agent Jareau."

Straus stares at him pointedly. "I assume you will call the doctor and clear this up by lunch today, Agent?"

He glares at JJ but answers Straus through his teeth. "Yes, ma'am. This meeting is over."

He nods to the third lady in the room and she stops the recorder. Hammond looks back at JJ.

"If this turns out to be false, you'll lose your badge," he warns.

"Then I won't lose my badge, much to your dismay," JJ states.

Straus stands. "I think you have a call to make, Agent Hammond."

Hammond glares at JJ a moment more. He then nods to Straus and leaves. The other woman leaves a minute later. Once Straus and JJ are the only two left in the room, JJ looks at her section chief.

"Thank you, ma'am."

Straus nods. "You're welcome. How are you doing?"

JJ shrugs. "Getting better. Still a bit shaky when I think about what happened and what could have happened. But I'm getting better."

"Good." Straus smiles. "So, another little one is on the way?"

JJ smiles nervously. "I hope so. Just…depends now on the drugs getting completely out of my system." She chuckles and shakes her head. "Blood tests were to make sure I didn't have a virus or infection or something that would have to be treated before we start the insemination process. Didn't think they would save my career."

"If he doesn't get back to us by lunch I'll speak with his boss. Don't let this situation hang over your head. You'll be cleared, Agent Jareau. Trust that."

JJ nods. "I know. Thanks again, ma'am."

JJ goes back to the BAU floor. But instead of going to her desk, she goes to Garcia's office.

"Hey, Pen."

Garcia spins around. "Hey! How'd it go?"

JJ smiles. "Good. I should be cleared by noon thanks to the blood tests I had run at Dr. Manton's office."

Garcia sighs in relief. "Thank goodness!"

JJ steps to her. "Pen, I need a favour and you're not going to like it but I need it."

"Uh, okay…I guess."

"Can you burn the video to a thumb drive for me?"

Garcia frowns in confusion. "What video?"

"Penelope, I know you have the security video of what happened in the conference room and- -"

"Oh, Jayje! No, you don't want that!"

"- -I need to see it. Please, Pen, I need to see it or I am going to have nightmares forever about what might have happened." The women stare at each other a moment. "Please," JJ pleads softly.

The analyst studies the profiler. She hates to see the pain in the blue eyes. Garcia spins around, grabs a thumb drive and copies the file to it. When it's done she turns to her best friend.

"Jayje, are you sure?"

"I have to know, Pen," JJ insists.

Garcia stares at the drive a second. Finally she shakes her head and hands it over. "Jayje, you know this doesn't change who you are, right?"

JJ nods. "I know. I just…Pen, there's this huge black hole in my head and I keep finding out little bits of what happened. I need to know or the nightmares won't stop."

"Nightmares?"

"I know I attacked them but don't really know how. Hell, yeah, it gives me nightmares and I'm sure they are 100 times worse than what actually happened."

"Damn, I hadn't thought of that. Want me to watch with you?"

JJ shakes her head. "No, I need to do this alone. But thanks, Pen. And don't tell the others. I need…I need to see it without their interference first."

Garcia nods and watches as her best friend walks down the hall. JJ detours into the conference room, not turning on the lights lest she draw unwanted attention to the room. She plugs the drive into the computer there and turns on the flatscreen. She lets out a gasp as she sees herself attack her wife.

"Oh, God, Em…"

She watches it all the way through, her stomach in knots. It's as if she is watching a TV show, not herself. There is no recognition, no click of remembrance in her mind.

"Who the fuck are you, Jennifer Prentiss?" she whispers.

She watches it again. She winces as she watches the woman onscreen punch Reid and send Hotch flying with a powerful kick. She shakes her head when the blonde tosses Rossi across and over the table. She wipes away a tear as she sees Morgan and Emily fighting to keep her gun from being used.

"Oh, Em, baby…"

She sobs as she sees the horror in Emily's eyes as she stares at the motionless body of her wife on the floor. JJ freezes the frame.

"Oh, honey, please tell me you don't feel guilty about that anymore. You saved my life and other people's lives."

JJ jumps as the door to the room opens.

"- -if we can spread it out maybe we can—uh, Jayje?"

JJ is trying to wipe away her tears as Reid and Rossi walk into the room with two file boxes. Reid's eyes go to the screen and the image frozen on it.

"JJ, what are you doing?" Reid asks.

JJ rips the thumb drive out. "Nothing. I need to go. I need…"

Reid grabs her by the shoulders. "Why are you watching that? What could it possibly do other than make you feel bad?"

JJ won't look him in the eyes. "I had to know. I had to, Spence. I had to know," is all she can say.

Rossi steps up and lays a hand on her arm. "JJ, we don't hold it against you."

JJ nods. "I…I know. But…but I still had to know what I did, Rossi. I had to know, especially when Hammond dropped the bomb on me that I'd pulled my gun. Not one of you bothered to tell me that. Not ONE of you!" she states angrily. "I had a fucking right to know what the hell I did and almost did."

She pulls away from them and storms out into the hallway. Rossi steps into the bullpen to get Emily as Reid follows JJ.

"Jayje! Stop! We didn't want- -"

"I asked ALL of you what I'd done, Spence. Don't start with me right now. I need…I need a minute."

She steps onto the elevator, pushing him away as he tries to follow. Emily runs out but JJ doesn't hold the doors.

"Shit," Emily says, racing for the stairwell.

JJ gets out of the elevator and storms towards the front doors. She doesn't stop until she gets to a bench that overlooks a field where cadets are going through stretches before starting a run in the humid July heat. She senses her wife approaching.

"I need time, damn it. Doesn't anyone care about that?" JJ snarls, not bothering to look at Emily.

Emily nods and stays back. "Yeah, we do. We also care about you, Jennifer."

"If you cared about me you'd have told me everything."

"Because I love you, I didn't," Emily insists. "But I knew you would eventually have to know. In the private office in our house is a thumb drive with the security video from the conference room. There is also a detailed write up of what you said to me, Morgan, Sandy and Mark while at the hospital."

JJ takes a deep breath. "Hammond sprung it on me about my gun. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because being surprised by that would go a long way to proving to anyone witnessing his interrogation of you that you truly didn't remember what happened," Emily explains. "I convinced the others not to say anything about your gun. Don't hate them, Jen. Be mad at me but not at them."

JJ just stares down at the field in front of her, not ready to turn to her wife yet. Emily waits patiently. JJ eventually pats the bench beside her. Emily walks over and sits down.

"It was like watching a TV show, Em."

Emily nods. "I imagine it was."

They sit in silence a few minutes. "Part of me wants to be really pissed at you. But most of me knows you did the right thing. I couldn't have faked the shock I felt when he dropped that crap on the table."

"I wasn't sure if you could or not. But I knew if that bastard had anything to do with your IAB interview he'd do what he could to destroy your career. I swear I did what I did to protect you and your career."

"Still kinda pissed at you."

"I know. Situation reversed, I'd be pissed at you, too," Emily admits. "But I'd rather you be pissed as an agent on my team than as a former FBI agent because that bastard railroaded you."

They sit in silence for a few more minutes. JJ finally looks at her wife for the first time.

"I want to go on a date."

Emily frowns in confusion. "With who?"

JJ can't help but chuckle. "With you, nerd girl." She takes Emily's hand. "If work doesn't take us out of town Saturday night I want to get a sitter for the kids and go out dining and dancing. Just like our first date…well, minus my baby bump."

Emily smiles. "I think that sounds perfect, Jennifer. Should I make reservations at- -"

JJ stops her. "Ah, ah, ah…my idea for a date, my job to plan it."

Emily grins and nods. "Okay. What should I plan to wear?"

"The perfect LBD, nice heels."

"Ah, so we're really going fancy?"

"Yep. We need to reconnect more than in bed or at the house. I need to reconnect to you as an adult, as my life partner, not just as the mother to our children. And not just because we've had the shit scared out of us."

Emily nods. "Then we will reconnect." She strokes a hand through JJ's hair. "I love you, Jennifer Prentiss."

"I love you, too, Emily Prentiss."

The two share a kiss. When it ends, Emily caresses JJ's cheek.

"So, ready to go face the others?"

JJ nods. "Yeah."

They stand and turn towards the building…to see the rest of the team watching from about 20 feet away. JJ starts to laugh.

"We should have known."

Emily chuckles and nods. "Yep, we should have."

They start towards the team as the team starts towards them. JJ raises a hand to stop the apologies.

"I get it now. I swear. Just…just was a huge shock and I lost it a little." She looks at Garcia. "Thank you, Pen, for getting me the video." She looks at the others. "And thank you all for withholding the gun part from me. I'm sorry I didn't handle it better when I found out the truth."

Reid smiles at her. "I'm just glad you didn't hit me again."

They all laugh. JJ pulls him into a hug. "Me, too, Spence. Me, too."

Together they go back inside. When they get in, Straus meets them at the elevator. She raises an eyebrow.

"Field trip?"

Hotch nods. "Yes. We had a team bonding exercise in light of recent events."

Straus chuckles. "Of course you did." She hands a paper to JJ. "You're cleared back to full duty, Agent Jareau."

JJ smiles, a huge weight lifting off her shoulders. "Thank you, ma'am."

Straus nods and walks away. Rossi looks at Hotch.

"Team bonding exercise?"

Hotch shrugs. "Better than saying we are more terrified of a sober JJ than a drugged one."

The team laughs and splits up to get back to work looking for the wacko's of the world.