Warning: Strong Language

Chapter 2: Cravings

Raven entered her room with a big sigh of relief. She'd never thought she'd say it but the other's, especially Robin, were purely suffocating. Either she was stuck in this tower with them, listening to Beast Boy and Cyborg bicker or play video games and be subjected to one of Starfire's 'girl time' activities, or Robin was running his never ending slave drive during practice. When they did leave other than to go to the mall to be surrounded by crowds of mundane or the pizzeria, they were fighting some villain doing some petty stealing or destroying something that had little to do with her and she gave as few cares about as she did a bug in the grass.

Everyone in the Tower was stressed, but Raven was a mile ahead. She hadn't been handling the last couple of weeks well. She didn't make loud noises like Beast Boy when she was aggravated or annoyed. She didn't make pouty faces like Starfire did when she was tired and overworked. No, she stayed for the most part quiet. Closed herself off. They all knew a superhero's job was never done. They didn't get vacations or holidays off. Common knowledge. Something they were all signed up for. Robin and the others probably thought she was just bent out of shape. Hell, she had been born out of shape. Coming out the womb she was never supposed to be in conceived in in the first place all sideways and crooked. She wasn't a happy child. She wasn't the happiest of teenagers. And thanks to Robin, the phrase fuck off wasn't at the tip of her tongue, but it was close enough. Midtongue.

It used to be fun, exciting, even though she would be the last person to show it. Now it all had become so humdrum and routine. Even hearing Robin's lectures and one-liners were annoying the pure hell out of her. Every so often she wanted to stop everything in that very second right before the battle started and tell Robin just to skip to the fucking point or let her go home.

Midtongue.

She drifted to her full body mirror hanging on the door of her closet. Her exhaustion showed all over her face. There were dark bags forming under her violet eyes. When was the last time she had gotten any sleep? Geez, it had to have been at least a week.

She clipped the clasp on her cape and hung it over her desk chair. When did being a super hero become more of a burden than a life choice? This job used to fill her with a great source of contentment. Now it was as if she was trapped. This life was like a cage at a circus, the people of Jump city watched her fight crime as a source of entertainment. That pissed her off. She wasn't a monkey in a cage. People weren't even truly grateful for what the Titans did. It had become an expectation. No one applauds then for more than a few moments for saving the day, if ever. But one measly blunder and it seems it was the big topic in Superhero's Today for weeks. She only had one word for them.

Ungrateful.

Robin's the most ungrateful dickhead out of all of them, Rage claimed from inside Raven's mind.

This consistent mind-numbing schedule of fight-practice-fight had kept her from full meditating sessions, which in turn caused her emotions to freely wander and brood over their own personally inquiries of her life in her cognizance. Rage always had a problem with everything. Though lately, Raven had been finding herself assenting with Rage more often than not.

We should've thrown him straight out of the tower earlier, Rage continued.

You know that wouldn't have helped, Wisdom spoke up. It would've caused nothing but more trouble.

Who gives a fuck? Robin needs to be knocked off his high horse.

Maybe we went a little too far, Timid shied in to the conversation.

No way! Bravery yelled. We totally kicked butt. I bet Robin is just jealous!

Raven grunted, ready to rip her hair out of her head as her emotions continued this ridiculous bickering in her cognizance. The storm of emotions in her head was literally going to drive her off the deep end. She needed to meditate now, if only so she could get to sleep.

Just then, she felt a presence on the other side of the door.

Oh, my, gosh, I think we have a visitor! Happy squealed.

"Please just be walking past," she whispered. But the inevitable knock came to her door. She wanted to scream at whoever it was to just go away in much less nicer terms.

Midtongue.

She sighed. Trudging up to her door, she opened it slightly just so she could peek out. Standing there in his Doom patrol uniform and messy hair was Beast Boy looking down at her.

Raven still wasn't used to how tall the changeling had become. She had always seen him at eye level at her, and now he was as tall as robin. Everyone in this tower reminded her she was just scarcely over five feet tall and stuck that way for good.

"Yes?" She eyed him with only the slightest bit of curiosity.

He scratched the back of his throat and cleared his throat. "Hey, Rae," he said.

"You came here to say hi?"

"No!" He said quickly, sensing she was going to close the door. "No, I just, you know…"

Raven rolled her eyes. She almost wanted to reach into his mind and learn what he was thinking just to get it over with, but she stopped herself. She wasn't one for invading someone else's personal space for her own benefit. Her emotions were still making a bane of themselves in her head. She was close to that phrase that seemed perpetually tattooed in her mouth for defense purposes. Nothing personal. Just tell him to fuck off and let her get some rest.

Midtongue.

"Spit it out," she hissed.

"Listen, I think we all need a little break," he finally said. "So I asked Robin if on Saturday we could all have a day off."

Raven's eyes widened in surprise. "Did… Did he actually say yes?"

Beast Boy smiled and nodded as if he'd been rewarded a trophy. "You bet. Guess even Boy Wonder couldn't resist the Green Man's charm, huh?" His eyes twinkled as his lopsided grin showed his canine tooth.

Raven suppressed a smile. She hadn't all of a sudden thought his jokes had become funny, but something about him had her smiling more often. Maybe she really was going insane. "Nice work." She began to close the door but Beast Boy stopped it again.

She sighed. "What is it now?"

He sighed. "OK well, I will just say it. There's this fair on Saturday and I want you to come with me… I mean if you want… 'cuz I'm asking…" He started getting all flustered and tongue-tied, making his green cheeks turn almost beat red in a blush.

OH MY FREAKING GOSH! Happy practically screamed in Raven's head causing her to wince. HE IS ASKING US OUT!

Raven didn't have time to contemplate his question, because her emotions decided to go on in a complete frenzied fashion. She needed Beast Boy gone, and for all the voices in her head to shut up.

"Yes," she said quickly. "I'll go." She closed the doors, ending any more chances for him to continue the conversation.

"Now," she said quietly, closing her eyes and taking deep breathes. "Can you all stop?"

But Raven, we just got asked out… on a date! Happy shrieked some more. You do realize this is our first real date, right?

Raven's stomach felt like it flipped over Mt. Everest. What had she just agreed to in a moment of mental weakness? A date? With Beast Boy? That very moment a monk in Azarath told her the full story of her being and her inevitable fate flashed in her head. That overwhelming "What the fuck am I supposed to do?" feeling. She suddenly felt dizzy and sat at the edge of her bed.

"It's not a date," she quietly kept telling herself. "It's not."

But oh my gosh it is! Happy continued.

But, we are not even sure for our feelings for Beast Boy, Passion spoke up, for the first time that night in fact.

Now look what you've got us into! Rage yelled.

But it's a freaking date!

Raven moaned. She didn't know what she was going to do. Everything ached, and she was mentally drained. The routine of fight-practice-meditate-fight and then practice some more was now going to consist of a date… And who knows, that could lead to another? Something Happy was giddily reiterating. The prospect of that unequivocally terrified her. This routine exhausted her. Robin aggravated her. This existence was exasperating her. She sought something different, but not something she wasn't ready for. She craved something offbeat. Something distant but close. Something she could cling to. She wanted to put some color into her existence. Something that didn't give her headaches or make her roll her eyes at a repeat of the day before. Something outside of this cage she'd made for herself in this tower. Something tangible that books couldn't allow her to experience. A perspective of someone not in this tower under the whip of Robin. There was more to life... to her... than this. She felt like a firecracker that wanted to explode, but she didn't have a light. She was tired from craving this release, but couldn't find something to satisfy the feeling.

Sighing, she made the executive decision to cut her mind from Nevermore, silencing her emotions. Raven rarely did this, as it cut her from feeling any emotions at all. It was like cutting the human side of her from her body. But she was too drained to care, she was too tired to meditate, and her mind needed a break.

She crawled into bed, under the sheets, and reveled in the silence until sleep overcame her.

Break****

Unbelievable.

That's the only word that came to Beast Boy's mind as he lingered outside of Raven's door. Honest to God, he hadn't expected a yes. He had mentally prepared himself for a complete shut down. He even went through all the scenarios on how it would play out. Something not too harsh, but one of those things where she'd nicely decline, in that monotone voice of hers, leaving nothing for him to wonder about. She'd be straight forward as always. Raven wasn't the type to beat around the bush. She'd say "Not interested." And close she'd close the door, leaving him in the hallway with a slightly broken heart but nothing that he didn't expect.

That was probably why he was so stunned. A deer caught in-between headlights on a dark road. So unexpecting. But this? It was literally unbelievable.

Feelings for the sorcerous had come to him out of the blue. He hadn't even noticed the change between their friendship change until one day in the commons room, him and Cyborg had been fighting over a foul Cyborg had called during a game of Go Fish. Robin was half paying attention, his cards lying face up on the counter as he looked over some information in a manila folder. Those folders always meant secrets. He'd started calling them 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' folders. It'd never really bothered Beast Boy, because unless it had a lot of pictures he wouldn't have cared to read it anyway. Starfire was still trying to figure out the mechanics of the game. Raven sat next to him, sipping steaming tea and watching them bicker with little interest. Cyborg said Beast Boy had to go fishing twice because he glanced at Cyborg's cards, he was adamant that he hadn't. This, in turn, started a bickering match, one so absolutely stupid, he couldn't recall what either of them had said. Something about Beast Boy being unruly and then something about Cyborg having no hair. Stupid shit. Starfire offered to make some traditional Tameranian dish of friendship and Beast Boy stormed out.

He found himself on the rooftop, staring out into the ocean. Every now and then he wondered how the fish living down there were doing. Pollution was an ass. During his deep thought, Raven had showed up. She was silent, seating herself down next to him. Really close. She stared into the ocean, not seeming to notice how close they were. He probably wouldn't have noticed either, but her sweet, lavender smell engulfed his senses. Like it wanted to take over his mind. Focusing back on the ocean, he asked if she had come up to scold him for earlier.

"No," she had said. "I actually came up here to keep Starfire from forcing her Fhorgniff down my throat."

He smiled. "At can't be as bad as that Grichniff- whatever. It was every color in the rainbow. Thought I was going to crap out a pot of gold."

It was rare for him to get Raven to laugh. It hadn't really been a laugh, or even a giggle. She let out that cute, soft noise that let you know she was amused. Best description he could give: It was Raven. It made his heart flutter.

And they stayed up there for hours, just talking. It was so natural and easy. He couldn't say she was in a rare, good mood. She was still Raven. Exactly the same as ever. But he liked her that way, and she had felt comfortable enough to sit with him for hours and listen to him make more jokes. Sometimes they landed and he got to hear that adorable noise again, or she'd roll her eyes, but the amusement from his attempt had still lingered in those violet eyes. She never put more distance between them either and he sure as hell hadn't. And when the sun had set, they both returned to the commons, where Starfire fed Silkie some of her Fhorgniff, Robin was still looking through manila folders, and Cyborg sitting at the couch telling Beast Boy they had to settle their score by playing video games. Life went on. But he never forgot that moment, because that unbelievably sweet lavender scent had succeeded in taking him over. Mixed with the smell of the ocean, it had never left him. She'd been on his mind ever since. That memory so perfect and delicate that it had felt almost surreal. A delicate, rare piece of porcelain. As if that at any moment, it could poof into thin air, making it nothing but a figment of his imagination.

A fear struck him just then, and he backed away from the door, turning to leave. It felt like the longer he stood there, the more that whole thing would've been just a hallucination.

As he walked down the hall, the stunned feeling started to be replaced by happiness. He felt like an empty barrel being filled. Over-filled. He was literally about to spill over with a feeling of satisfaction and joy he hadn't felt in what seemed like an eternity.

Instead of heading to his room, he continued down the hall to Cyborg's room. He knew the Tin Man was still going to be awake. He needed to tell someone. Who better than his best friend?

He made it to Cyborg's room in what felt like seconds. Like he had glided there on this cloud he'd been put on without even noticing the change. He didn't even bother to knock and barged in. Cyborg sat as his computer, staring at a screen with a bunch of numbers on it. Cyborg looked surprised, then his face showed his displeasure.

"Thanks for knocking," he grumbled, turning back to the screen.

"No problem," Beast Boy replied, striding up to Cyborg's side. The only real light illuminating the room was the computer screen. He couldn't help but think Cyborg's one good eye was going to go bad if he kept this up.

"What ya doin'?"

Cyborg didn't look up. "Decoding some stuff for Robin," he said. "But none of this makes any sense."

"Well turn your attention to me, Tin Man, cuz I have great news!"

Cyborg smirked, the light from the LED screen illuminating his white teeth. "Please tell me you're getting a regular skin color."

"Har har har, very funny, Tin Man." Beast Boy rolled his eyes but he was still in an amazing mood. With a smile he told Cyborg about his date with Raven. Cyborg looked stunned.

"Damn, BB, I never thought you would have pulled it off!" His one good eye was wide with disbelief. "You sure she was okay when you asked?"

"Yes!" Geez, was it really that unbelievable? Actually, yeah it was. He was still reeling from it.

"Well, I'm proud of you, Grass Stain." Cyborg looked back at the computer screen littered of codes that didn't make sense. Ones that probably never would. Robins active paranoia and over seriousness probably had Cyborg on a virtual goose chase, something that wasn't uncommon with Robin.

"So, do you think it'll go okay?"

Cyborg chuckled. "Aw, is BB nervous?"

He knew he was turning red in the face. "No, I'm not. I just don't wanna mess this up."

"Don't worry dude. Just be yourself. It's Raven. She knows you so well she'd notice if you started acting weird."

"You're right." He thought of that day on the roof. The smell of the ocean, his joking, her casual, monotone demeanor, all of it had come so natural, in sync. A flow. He wanted that moment again. He craved it.

He looked at the clock on the wall. It was past four thirty. Robin had scheduled a training session at seven. He sighed. Two and a half hours was not enough sleep for anyone. Sometimes he thought Robin was some immortal vampire that didn't need to same amount of sleep or food that a normal human needs to function. That or he was on some serious uppers.

"Don't work yourself to hard, Cy," he yawned before exiting. He heard Cyborg grunt heavily in response as the door slid to a close behind him.