Disclaimer: I own them not. If I did, I probably would have messed up the entire thing.

Part One – Letting Go


"Where are you going?"

"Away, Elena," was all Damon offered as he threw a bag into the trunk of his Camaro. It landed with a thunk against the container holding anti-freeze and washer fluid.

Elena watched as he moved around his vehicle, checking the pressure of his tire and the amount of oil in the engine. He checked the gas gauge and the receipts for when he last had his baby serviced. It was all so mundane.

She hovered, knew she did, and could not stop herself. "Why are you going?"

His shoulders slumped as he leaned over the engine block. At first, she thought he was not going to answer, or give her some veiled truth covered in lies. But this was Damon, not Stefan, and for the most part he had always been brutal in his honesty.

"You made the choice," he told her. "And I need to uphold my side of a bargain I made. Who you don't choose leaves town." He slammed the hood, leaned against it as he surveyed the grounds, looking for anything he forgot.

"I don't want you to leave," she admitted, coming to his side as she placed a hand on his arm. "You told me you wouldn't. What about that?"

Damon looked at her for a long moment before he turned, extricating her hold on him in one smooth move. "That was when you needed me. You don't anymore."

Panic welled in her. He was really going to leave. There was no hesitation in his eyes, nothing that would convince him to stay. Still, she needed to try.

"I still need you," Elena said. "What if I lose control?"

He regarded her before cradling her face in his hands. "I taught you all you're willing to listen to, Elena. The rest is up to you."

Elena shook her head, blinking in the hopes of keeping her eyes dry. She failed. "I don't want you to go."

For a second, she thought he would stay as he looked at her with an intense expression. He read her eyes, in a way only he could, before he shook his head and obliterated what hope she had. "This isn't about you, Elena."

Only it was. She could feel it between them, and she tried to cling to the words he left unspoken, but they evaporated in the morning mist. She thought he was just going to leave, but he surprised her again when he pressed his lips to her forehead.

"Take care of yourself." Then he was in his car, engine revved, and the spraying gravel as he pulled away pelted her jeans.

Her voice caught in her throat as she took a couple steps for his retreating car, stopping only when she realized she would not be able to catch up. "Damon!"

He heard her, she knew he had to have, but he did not even glance in the rear view mirror when he turned the corner.

Stefan was there in an instant. The understanding in his eyes hurt, so when he reached for her she jerked away. This was his fault, his and Damon's both, for reaching a decision that impacted her. Always the same, with the both of them.

Elena left Stefan standing in the drive, storming toward the boarding house. She was far too angry at both of them to cry.

xo

This seat's taken. Both of them were. But there were people always sitting there now, always wearing too many colors for her liking. They came and went, contaminating his seats with their humanity.

The Grill teamed with people, as always, and one look inside would leave one to wonder if people had nothing better to do in a small town on a Friday night.

"Come on, Elena," Caroline said. "If you keep staring, they're going to combust."

Jerking in her seat, Elena turned toward her friend. Offering a shy smile, she tucked her hair behind an ear before focusing all her attention on Caroline. "Sorry."

The blond vampire offered a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry, Sweety, but he isn't coming back."

That reminder, one her friends were none too gentle to provide, socked her in the gut as swift and hard as the first time. Still, she covered it up as she rolled her eyes. "I know. But it's just so weird, I keep expecting to run into him and his annoying comments."

Caroline sighed through her nose, her once deceptive vapidity no where to be seen as her eyes bored into Elena with an eery knowing expression. "How's Stefan?"

Elena held up a hand. "Can we not talk about him? Or his brother? Can we just focus on why we're here?"

Caroline took the hint before propelling into her plans for Prom. Elena tried to remain focused, but her mind strayed back toward the subject she wished desperately to avoid.

It had been a month since Damon had left. In that time, Elena kept expecting to shake herself of this funk she had fallen into. Still, it hurt, and his absence was made acute by the presence of his brother. Seeing Stefan reminded her of the brother's decision, and though she tried to hide it, a part of her could not help but be mad at her boyfriend.

Because of him, and their decision, she had lost a best friend she had not known she had.

"Elena," Caroline's voice cut in like a knife.

Angry at herself, Elena cleared her throat and shifted in her seat, trying to focus. She was failing miserably, and finally decided she refused to allow her friend to suffer through her drama.

"I'm sorry, Care. I'm just going to go," she said.

"And do what? Wallow in sad ninety's ballads as you pour your woes in a pint of ice cream?" Caroline demanded. "You didn't break up with him, Elena, he was never your boyfriend."

Caroline's words were said without rancor, and even if they were, Elena was too exhausted to snap back.

"That's actually a good idea," she said, trying for a joke that fell flat on its face. "I'll catch you tomorrow at school?"

Without waiting for a response, she grabbed her leather jacket and swung it on. With a small wave, she exited the small bar and stretched under the night air.

Her blood sang as she inhaled the crisp air. She had become more a night person since her change, and the blood lust was more difficult to manage at this time. Slowly, she had done it, and true to his word she had managed to do it without him hovering over her shoulder, but with each meal she was constantly reminded of his words of assurance.

Elena had ridden to the bar with Caroline, so she was faced with a short walk back. It did not bother her, as she needed the jolt to her system as the cold air nipped at her nose. It would do her good to get some fresh air.

She felt his approach. Without turning, she continued down the sidewalk. "What brings you here?"

Stefan said nothing at first. "I know you're still mad at me."

"I'm not mad, Stefan." She was, but she was sick of being angry all the time. Elena stopped to face him. "You two made a choice, and now we get to live with it."

"I never thought he would actually leave," he admitted.

"Neither did I." And then her cheeks were wet and her breath was hitching in her throat. "And I miss him. I'm sorry, but I do, and what if he doesn't come back?"

"Hey, hey," Stefan said as he pulled her in his arms. She resisted at first, wanting to stay mad at him, but she was just so tired. "I'm sure we haven't seen the last of him. He's Damon, after all."

Elena accepted the hug, but she felt detached from it. It was neither warm nor inviting, instead it rung hollow. Pulling away, she pressed her lips in a tight smile before looking him in the eye. "Goodbye, Stefan."

She owed him more than that, but as she walked away from him, all she could think about was that she needed time. Time to reassess, time to readjust. She would deal with this decision later, one that she could not yet fully comprehend.

All she knew for sure was that they had both done this without her, used her as a deciding prize. For that alone, she did not know where to begin sorting out what she felt.

Being mad at Stefan was easy. He was there and tangible.

Being mad at Damon was too hard when he was so far away, but she was sure as hell going to try.

xo

He never made it that far from Mystic Falls. In his cheap motel room, in a rundown town a few miles short of Richmond, Damon cursed at the lack of anything appealing, even on HBO, during midday. He was forced to endure Soap Operas and their mind numbingly repetitive dramas.

"Come on, she doesn't deserve you!" he shouted at the small television, scowling at the horrendous train wreck unfolding before his eyes. He knew the drill, experienced it first hand, and if the man had any intelligence at all he would get the hell out of Dodge.

Apparently, the character was oblivious to what Damon inherently knew and continued the farce with the wisp of a girl who would normally never give him the time of day.

Sighing, he switched the television set off and wallowed in the shadowed darkness of day. These were the times to wallow, when the sun was out and fun was tucked safely in work cubicles. At night, though, his dinner would stream to the local bar and unwind, oblivious that they were nothing more than walking snacks.

He tried to regain what he had been a few years ago, but apparently his give-a-damn was not as broken as it had once been. Of course, he knew exactly whose fault that was, and cursed her for controlling him even now. He had left for a reason, and perhaps a few more miles would help him to rediscover who he had once been. He could ignore the pull that urged him to go back, when he remembered why he had left in the first place. It was all the other times that made the urge so strong that more than once he had found himself halfway out the door, keys in hand.

Damon had gone through this shit once, and he would be damned if he went through it again.

Frustration warred within him, and he came to a happy medium. He would get a head start on the night's proclivities and hope that bourbon removed craving more than just blood.

xo

Elena knew first hand that the world did not stop just because someone left. Not everyone would mourn a loss that was not their own forever, and eventually her friends pushed her to come out of her self-induced pity party.

Things with Stefan were not as they had been, but slowly their bond drew a friendship between them at the very least. It was mildly awkward at first, and eventually that fizzled to the comfortable atmosphere she was used to around him. She pretended to not notice that look he would sometimes get in his eyes, just as she was sure he took to ignoring the way her head would sometimes snap up whenever there was a noise somewhere in the boardinghouse.

Pool became a safe haven for them. The crack of the balls was familiar to her, as were the calculated movements around the table. They made it a point to play a game or two every week, usually on a Friday, as they caught up on idle chatter.

"So how's the Prom planning coming along?" Stefan asked as he racked for the next game.

"Same as last year's, I suppose," she said as she watched him break. "Caroline's vying for a return of her Scarlett dress. The others are vetoing in hopes for a more traditional dance."

"Since when are the dances ever traditional?"

Elena laughed. It was a refreshing feeling. "I guess you have a point."

As they played, she felt eyes on her. At times she would pause and survey the crowd, but she would see nothing out of the ordinary and return to the game. If Stefan noticed anything, he said nothing.

Their game ended soon, and Elena was too drained to start another. She said her goodbyes, and the farewell hug was fractionally less awkward than it had been the week before.

The creepy sensation left as soon as she was outside, and she shook it off as she climbed into her car.

xo

Damon had driven most of the night when he decided to stop just outside of Knoxville. The Tennessee town was not as large as others, and in the distance it glittered with a newness he had become unaccustomed to.

He remembered with vague recollection driving through the same city some years ago, when the cold war was still in full swing. Damon wondered if there was as much nuclear activity there as there had once been.

He pulled into the only bar he could find. If he looked harder, he was certain he would have found others, but in a pinch this would have to do.

Not long later, bourbon coated his tongue and the familiar burn swept down his throat. He looked around and hid a sneer. Small town, little people, and each one enjoying their own little lives. Unlike Mystic Falls, no one here had even a suspicion of who he was. Damon wondered if any vampires had come around lately, and looking around, he could see why.

One or two people sidled up next to him, tried to start a conversation. He graced both with a glance before he turned to his drink. One of them looked too much like Elena, the other did not look enough like her.

This was what he would be regressed to for who knew how long. He had to get her out of his system, but for the moment he was content to wallow like the love sick fool he really was.

Closing time came too soon for his liking. Finishing his drink, he slid off the stool and glanced around. One or two stragglers stumbled out, and his lips twitched in a smirk.

He was starving, and he needed some fun.

xo

Her dress was scarlet.

Elena studied her reflection in the mirror, detaching herself to find some fault and flaw in the way she looked. They were all she found.

Shaking her head, she applied a thin coat of gloss to her lips. Bonnie would be there soon, and the two of them would likely be the only ones attending their senior Prom stag. It had taken some convincing to get Elena to go in the first place, mostly by Caroline. Memories needed to be made, after all.

Elena was not sure what she dreaded more, going to the Prom, or going to it with Bonnie. Things had been growing more and more strained between them. She hoped this night would bridge the gap between them, show her best friend of so many years that despite it all she was still the same person.

Looking in the mirror again, she tried to smile. Everything in her life was a mess. Her emotions rode high, then low, never entering the even keel she remembered when she had been alive. Damon was gone, Stefan and her were over, and if she lost one more person in her life, she would scream.

So she would do what she had done when her parents had died. She would smile at the world, tell anyone who would listen that she was fine, and try and find a place to land her feet.

The doorbell rang, signaling it was time to to face an evening of fun and memories. With a cautious smoothing of her dress, she went to greet Bonnie at the door.

xo

The gymnasium brimmed with decorations, cascading from the ceiling in a veritable splash of streamers and sparklers and anything else that made the eye bleed.

Still, Elena smiled over her punch glass as she and Bonnie discussed their AP History test. It reminded of her of Ric, which sent her mind in a spiral of directions she wanted to avoid, but the subject was so normal that she clung to it.

"I'm thinking at least a B," Bonnie said.

"I don't even want to think about how I did," Elena confessed. There was a moment when the press of bodies around her tugged at her senses, calling to her. She should have eaten before she came.

The feeling passed after she closed her eyes and breathed. Then she returned her attention to Bonnie, who was looking at her with a distant suspicion.

Ignoring it, Elena plastered a wide grin on her face. "We didn't come here to talk about tests. Let's go dance."

She ignored everything. The way her senses were drowning in the presence of so much blood, the wary look her friend kept casting her way. She ignored the absence of strong arms guiding her through a dance or two. Instead, she made memories.

They would be wonderful and glorious, and when she told her grandchildren about this day, she would be happy.

Her movements stilled at the thought. Elena still had those moments, when her future was not an eternity of longevity, when she believed she would have a family. Now, though, reality settled around her, thick and strong, and it suffocated her.

"I'm going to go," she told Bonnie. Without waiting for a reply, she pressed through the crowd. People jarred into her, assaulting her senses, reminding her with every crashed foot and misplaced elbow that she was not human.

Bonnie called out to her, but she ignored that, too. Pushing the doors open, she stumbled into the night, trying to catch her breath. She quickly saw her future play out ahead of her. It was something she had been avoiding since she had turned. Before, she could maybe see herself a couple hundred years from now, chasing the waves with Stefan.

Now that was dashed, and she hyperventilated at the thought of what eternity held for her now.

Alone. She would always be alone.

Elena pushed by the few stragglers as her feet carried her forward, down the parking lot and onto the street, moving faster as she went. She only slowed when she rounded the block, the school disappearing from view.

Gulping for air, she pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. Breathe.

The voice was not her own, just a whisper of a memory. Breathe.

For once, she listened to it. The air no longer denied her, and soon her breathing returned to normal. She was able to straighten on shaky limbs.

When Elena composed her self, she took a step forward. She was determined to pull through this. She was strong, and capable, and nothing was set in stone. She had learned long ago that always did not mean forever.

Then, when her house came in view, she heard a loud crack as her world spun on its axis.

Then nothing.

xo

Damon's cell rang at eight in the morning.

At first he ignored it, burrowing deeper into his pillow as he tried to block out the early interruption. He had been dreaming, and for once it had been pleasant.

The insistent sound bore through his subconscious though, dragging him from the warmth of limbo and into the cold morning.

"This had better be good," he demanded as he held the phone up to his ear.

"Damon," Stefan's voice cut through the static of poor reception.

His jaw ticked. "What the hell are you calling for? I'll have you know I was enjoying sunlit beaches and miles of bikinis."

"Damon," his brother said again, and the tone sent a chill down Damon's spine. "Elena's missing."


I know I said I wasn't going to post as fast as my other story, but this sort of snuck up on me. I have the next couple parts written out, and some of the later ones mapped out in my brain.

I could have dragged this out over the course of a couple chapters but chose not to. It wasn't necessary for the main plot. Instead, you get this disjointed jumble of a mess.