The Office

Cleaning Day


Scene 2

(Erin is humming to herself as she's straightening up her already spotless desk area. Dwight saunters up to her, grinning.)

Dwight: Hello, there... uh-- (pauses for a second)

Erin (frowning): Erin.

Dwight: Right, right... Erin. So what's up?

(Dwight leans heavily over the reception counter, and Erin just blinks at him, uncomfortable.)

(TH) Erin: Yeah, I'm still getting settled here at Dunder-Mifflin, but I'm REALLY excited about spring cleaning! (gives the camera a happy grin) I don't mean to be a 'Braggy-britches', but I consider myself an expert organizer. I keep everything in my home and office completely spotless. (she pauses for a second) Normally, I wouldn't really get that excited about cleaning, but frankly... (Erin glances around the conference room with a slightly nauseous look on her face. She then leans toward the camera and whispers, as if telling a secret.)... this place is kind of disgusting.

Dwight (seductively): So... I was thinking that, maybe, you could help me clean out the fridge today? Just you and me? It's kind of a two-man job, and I thought one man and a one thick-armed woman could get the job done just as quickly...

Erin: The employee fridge? The communal refrigerator in the kitchen that everyone uses?

Dwight: Yeah.

Erin (emphatically): Oh, gosh-- absolutely!

Dwight (satisfied): All right. (checks his watch) Let's go now, before the lunch-rush of workers.

(Erin gets up and follows Dwight over to the kitchen doors, grinning. Camera pans in on Andy, who's watching the two walk past him with a noticeably jealous glint in his eye.)

(Pam and Ryan are walking side-by-side in a parking lot toward a large, Corporate-sized building. Just as they reach the door, Ryan turns to Pam.)

Ryan: Just in case anyone asks, you're my sister. Okay?

(Ryan nods and leads the way through the door. Pam gives the camera a look before following him inside.)

End Scene 2


(Pam and Ryan are now sitting across the desk of a very prim-looking businesswoman. The office has a large window to the right of them, overlooking the streets of Scranton. The plaque on the woman's desk reads 'Amy Platzford, Manager', and she is searching through her briefcase for some papers. Pam gives the camera an uncomfortable smile.)

Amy (pulling out some documents): Here we are...

(She hands the papers over to Ryan and Pam unsmilingly. They scrutinize them as she continues to speak.)

Amy: You see, what we're looking for, here at Atlantic-Net, is a supplier who could both fit our needs for paper and supply it at a price we can afford...

Ryan (interrupting snobbily): Well, obviously--

(Pam elbows him hard in the ribs, and he shuts up. Amy gives them a look.)

Pam (quickly): We apologize, Amy.

Amy (correcting): Ms. Platzford.

Pam (blinking): Oh, right-- I'm sorry. (trying to move the sale along) So... Ms. Platzford, what would you say your price-range for paper would be in this type of corporation?

(Amy gives Pam an odd look.)

Amy: Um... all the information you need is on the documents I just gave you. (she indicates the papers in Pam's hand.) Didn't I tell you five minutes ago?

Pam: Oh! (gives a forced laugh) Right. I'm sorry, I must have sort of... spaced out for a second. (she smiles at Amy, who is still looking at her weirdly.)

Amy: Can I get you a glass of water or something?

(Pam gives a nervous look to the camera before answering.)

Pam (meekly): No, thank you...

(There is a short, awkward pause as Pam stares down at the papers.)

Ryan: I'll take a water.

(He glances between the two women, who ignore him. Pam just glances desperately at the camera, looking trapped.)


(Camera pans in on the upstairs office workers, who are still organizing their desk areas. Camera then turns over to Stanley, who is the only one not cleaning. He is leaning back in his chair, his open crossword puzzle book face-down on his chest. He is fast asleep.)

(TH) Stanley (monotonously): I don't care for cleaning day and I never will. Cleaning is for the workers who get paid to come here at nine o'clock at night with all the necessary equipment for the job. And with that philosophy in mind-- I'm going to take a nap at my desk. 'Scuse me... (gets up heavily and walks out of the room.)

(Erin is getting settled at her desk with a mug of coffee in her hand. Andy is watching her inconspicuously from the copier. He walks up to her desk.)

(VO) Andy: Yes, I will admit it: I am interested in the new receptionist. She's cute and thoughtful and she, like, TOTALLY gets me. But, One-Certain-Salesman-Who-Shall-Not-be-Named is completely bringing down my mojo, man. This guy is totally hitting on Erin-- and, even worse, she's hitting back! I mean, he smiles at her and she, like... looks up. (shakes his head, then suddenly bursts out) Seriously, what is it about Dwight Schrute that women love so much?!?

Andy (speaking in a British accent): Why, 'ello they-ah Miss Lovely Lady Hannon!

(Both laugh at his little joke.)

Erin (grinning): Hey Andy

Andy (speaking in his normal voice): Hey... um--

(He is obviously at a loss of what to say next. Erin just looks at him.)

Andy (stuttering): Um... uh... where would you... um-- What is the... uh...

Erin (interrupting, checking her watch): I'm sorry, Andy, but can this wait a minute? I promised Charles that I would polish all of the door handles by 11:30, and I still have to run out and buy a toothbrush so I can reach every nook and cranny. (she picks up her purse and stands up.)

Andy (relieved): Oh, sure. No problem... (he suddenly sounds confused) Wait, why do you need a toothbrush for doorknobs? I mean, don't you just have to wipe them down with a paper towel or something?

Erin (looking at Andy, shocked): Merely wiping down a doorknob?! Are you crazy...?? (her shocked look fades, and then she suddenly laughs) Ohh, you were just kidding, weren't you?

(Andy was obviously being serious, but he laughs all the same.)

Andy (laughing loudly): Oh! Yeah, haha, yeah I was just kidding. Gotcha! (punches her lightly on the arm.)

(Both crack up.)

Erin (grinning): That was funny. (she takes her coat off the hook and slips it on)... But seriously, I need to buy a toothbrush for the doorknobs, or else I'll, like, go crazy. (she points to her head and crosses her eyes like a crazy person.)

Andy (curious): Really?

Erin: Yeah, I mean, why would you want something dirty when it can be clean? (she sounds completely dumbfounded.)

Andy (interested): Soooo... you like things to be clean, then?

Erin (emphatically): Oh, goodness-- definitely!

(Both laugh again. Erin then turns around, waving goodbye to Andy, and walks out the door. Andy gives a mischevious smile to the camera.)

(TH) Andy (coyly): Innnnnnteresting... (presses his fingertips together and tucks them under his chin thoughtfully. He smiles.)

End Scene 3

To Be Continued


A/N: Sorry for the wait, but I hope you liked it anyway. I absolutely LOVED the Secretary's Day episode (Erin is just so darn adorable, even when she's angry), so I kind of wanted to end this on an Andy/Erin note. Hope you guys don't mind:)

Review, please and thank you!