People always say that love isn't easy… but when it's right…you'll do anything to keep it alive. He was everything to me. He completed me…He made me the man I am today.
Me kids, his kids, Him and me we could have been happy. Life has a funny way of changing in a split second, things get taken, lives tend to crumble, in the end you have no
choice but to pick yourself up and move on… whatever that means.
Ste made his way out of his room and into the bathroom the next morning. His eyes bloodshot red from the tears, he couldn't remember if he even truly slept, he slowly
closed the bathroom door behind him, and examined his face in the mirror.
"Come on, Ste pull yourself together." Ste whispered to himself as he turned on the water to wash his face. After taking a quick shower and a change of clothes, Ste made his
way down to the kitchen to see Chez, Nate, and the kids sitting at the table eating breakfast.
"Morning, Love." Cheryl cautiously greeted.
"Morning, guys." He replied back.
"Let me get you something to eat." Nate stated as he made his way into the kitchen.
"Nate, ya don't have to, I'm not really hungry."
"It's no problem really."
"it's fine, I'll just have a cup of coffee."
Nate grabbed a cup from the cupboard and handed it to Ste as he made his way back to the table. Ste pour himself a cup of coffee as the four at the table stared, he than
quickly join the rest. An awkward silence filled the room as Ste took a sip of his coffee.
"So...How…was everyone's night?" Ste asked as he set his cup down on the table.
"Good." They each stated in unison.
"Good...Um...Sorry for, uh…missing dinner last night."
"Don't worry about it, Love, we understand." Cheryl stated warmly.
"Apparently, I was more tired than I had thought."
"Well, don't worry about it, Love, we completely understand." Cheryl reassured her friend.
After Breakfast Cheryl, Nate, and Paddy got dressed and head out to get Padraig a suit for the wedding while Ste and Declan stayed behind to relax. Ste had quickly given his
Dad a call to see how the kids were doing. He wasn't too crazy leaving Leah and Lucas alone with Danny, sure the man was his Dad, there was still so much that he didn't
know about him, but with Amy away and Leah & Lucas both being sick there was nothing left for him to do.
"…but she's okay now, right… okay well that's good, I really want to thank you for watching them while me and Ames are away…I know your me Dad…I know…ya…Tell the
kids I love them and I'll be home soon, I'll talk to you later." Ste finally stated as he ended the call. He made his way into the kitchen to see Declan digging through the
refrigerator, Ste tried his best to hold back his laughter, " I swear you are the spitting image of your father."
"What?" Declan questioned as he turned away from the open fridge.
"You just ate breakfast and you're looking for more food?"
"Well I'm hungry for something sweet." Declan with a smirk. Ste walked around the counter he grabbed some bread and a jar of seedless jam.
"How did you…"
"You're talking about your family, Declan." Ste responded with a small smile as he prepared the sandwich. He placed the sandwich on a plate and handed it over to the teen.
"Thanks." Declan stated as he took a bite of the sandwich as he made his way over to the
"So are you excited about your internship?" Ste asked as he quickly clean up the mess he had made.
" Yeah, never really thought I'd be in to advertisement but it's not that bad."
"Advertisement that's cool."
"Auntie Chez says I have a mind just like Dad's when it comes to business." Declan replied as he took another bite of the sandwich. Ste poured himself another cup of coffee
before he joined Declan at the table.
"He was good at what he did, that's for sure." Ste stated with a smile.
"Ste… can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, of course."
"Did my dad ever talk about us? Paddy and Me?"
Ste paused for a second, "…Of course, he did you two were…are his world. He loves you two more than life itself. Where is this all coming from?"
"… Its nothing really."
"Declan…"
"With me going off to Uni …I just always thought Dad would be there and… I mean he's not even answering any of mine or Paddy's letters and every time Auntie Chez goes
to see him he always closed off according to her."
"Wait what?"
"What?"
"Cheryl, been to see him?" Ste questioned his face was filled with shock.
"She hasn't recently…"
Ste sat back in his chair. "You okay, Ste?" Declan asked.
"…Yeah…"
"Are ye sure?"
Ste sucked in air trying to hide the hurt that was planted across his face, "I'm fine... I'm sure your dad…he's just hurt that he's missing out on so much…"
"I guess. Have you been able to go in to see him lately?" Declan asked.
"Umm… no… I uh… didn't know he was even…" Ste stated in disbelief.
"Auntie Chez didn't tell you she'd visiting Dad?"
"No"
"I'm sure she wasn't trying to hide it…"Declan try to reassure Ste.
"…umm, are ya going to be alright if I go upstairs for a little bit?" Ste asked ignoring Declan's statement.
"Umm, yeah, but Ste…." Before Declan could finish his sentence Ste had made his way out of the kitchen and made his way up the stairs. Once he made it into his room he shut the door behind him.
She's seen him! She lied to me! She has been lying to me for nearly two years. She told me that he cut himself off from everyone that he loved, after everything that has
happened...
Before Ste knew it tears began to roll down his cheek, he pulled the necklace for under his shirt held onto the crucifix tightly in his hand and pulled it close to his chest. Ste
leaned against the door and slowly slid down to the ground.
Why…Am I even here! All this time, her coming to the village for a surprise visits where all a joke! This crap of she missed me…
Ste pulled his phone out to see a picture of his Dad and three sisters along with Leah, Lucas and baby Rosie displayed accrossed the lock screen. He unlocked the phone and
pulled up the pictures. Picture after picture some of Leah and Lucas, some of Amy and Doug, and different faces from the village, he continued flipping through the pictures
until he came across a video. He froze before pressing play.
"Seriously, Steven, will ya stop recording me!" Ste watched the screen intensively seeing the love of his life's face nearly cause Ste to stop breathing. Our Night in Dublin, Ste
thought to himself.
"Oh come on Bren, this is the first day of us being a proper couple I want to remember this for the rest of me life."Ste watched as his former lover moved closer on the
screen then he saw himself come onto the screen, he watch as he and Brendan kissed, he could still feel Brendan wrapped around him, he remember just feeling so safe like
nothing could never hurt him, and he had missed that feeling.
"I love you"
"I love you, too."
Ste quickly stop the video and began sobbing even harder "I Love You" rang out through his continued going through the pictures he stop once more on a picture of
the kids, himself and Brendan. He and I were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together. Why did I go after him? Why didn't I just get on that plane to America? None
of this would be happening… Doug … Doug would still be alive and I'd still be happy… Why…Why do I let Him get under me skin?
A wave of anger filled Ste, he rose from the ground chucking his phone across the room, he began ripping apart the room, Ste screaming, "This is for all those times you
made me believe. For all those time you said you loved me, that you'd never leave me!" Ste screamed even louder as he continued to throw items across the room, " I love
you and this is what I get!"
Just then three quick knocks came from the door it was Declan, "Ste, are you okay?"
"Go away, Declan!" Ste yelled back.
"Ste… just let me in."
"Declan, please, just… I need to be alone!"
"Look, if what I said upset ya."
"Deccy, please." Ste choked out.
A minute had past before Ste realized that Declan had gone. Ste stared at the torn up room, his head was killing him, and his eyes were stained blood shot red from the
tears. I need to get out of here. He made his way out of the room and down the stairs. He quickly found Cheryl's car and headed for the front door.
"Ste, where are you going?" Declan asked.
"Out." Ste stated without even facing in Declan's direction.
"Do you think it's a good idea for you to be driving right now?"
"I need… I can't be here right now." Ste stated coldly.
"I didn't know." Declan stated.
"You didn't know what?"
"That Da cut all ties with ya."
Ste didn't respond.
"I wouldn't have said anything…"
"It's not your fault, Declan." Ste stated trying to hide the tears that had now been where falling.
"Ste."
"I can't, Declan…please don't" Ste stated as he wiped the tears from his cheeks. He continued to make his way out of the house. Declan wasn't far behind him.
"Ste, please, look you're not in the right mind to be driving right now. Come back inside and we'll talk about it." He called out as Ste made his way to the car and got in.
"Get back in the house Declan." Ste stated as he started the car. Ste backed the car down the driveway and on to the main-street and sped away.
"Damn it." Declan breathed out.
Ten minutes had past since Ste had stormed out of the house. Declan try multiple times calling him, but with no luck. Declan made his way up to Ste's room, seeing it all torn
up, he looked around the room to see Ste's phone laying on the ground. Declan unlocked the phone to see a picture of his Dad, Ste and Ste's kids.
"Declan?!" He could hear his Aunt calling from downstairs. He made his way out of the room and back downstairs to see his brother, Chez and Nate
"There you are, would ya mind telling me where my car is?"
"Ste took it."
"He what? " Chez question.
"He was in a right state."
"What about?" Nate asked.
"Apparently, he didn't know Dad was seeing visitors."
"What?" Cheryl questioned.
"Aunt Chez, why didn't ya tell me that Da cut all ties with Ste?"
"What did you tell him?" Cheryl asked.
"Nothing, one moment we're talking about Da then the next thing I know he's upstairs ripping his room apart.
"Did he say where he was going?" Nate asked.
"No, he just took off." Declan responded.
Ste had been driving for about an hour before he made it into town. He pulled into a parking lot after he had parked he made his way over to the closest pub. He walked over
to the bar, "Whiskey." he stated to the bartender as he sat down.
"Doesn't seem like wee lad like you could handle something that strong." the man who was sitting a few seats away from him stated.
The bartender handed Ste his drink, "I'll be fine, thanks." Ste stated bitterly as he quickly down the drink. He choked a little bit, he could hear the man next to him laugh.
"I'll have another." Ste stated to the bartender. The bartender brought the bottle over and filled the cup. "You know what just leave the bottle." Ste stated coldly as he
grabbed it.
"Well, you mean business don't ya?" the same man asked. "How about a toast, then?'
"How's this, Here's to loving and being loyal to a cold hearted bastard, may he rot in that hell hole." he stated as he through back another drink.
"Trouble in Paradise I take it?"
Ste chuckled as he poured himself another drink, "He was trouble from the moment he came into me life."
"And ya think whiskey is the answer?"
"What are you, my mother?"
"Just saying, mate."
"First of all I ain't your mate and Second I came here to be alone, so if ya don't mind." Ste stated as he watch the older man return to his seat. Ste poured himself another
drink.
I've been loyal to Him for nearly five years, really I shouldn't be surprised this is how it always ends with Him. Me, alone, and alcohol.
Always alone..
