THANK YOU! Thank you to the first people that reviwed! I'm sooooo glad my story was even added to an alert and a favorite! But without any further adeui...
"Peeta?" Thoughts race through my mind too quickly for me to process them.
I step into the living room to find him huddled in the corner with his hands pulling at his blond locks.
"Peeta?" I try again.
"I...I ddooon't remmmember, Katnissss" he manages to get out. I know that I have to do something but I don't want to. If he cares about me so much, I should not care about him. Those are our places right? He's the good one, I'm the cold and calculating one? Yet, even I can't bring myself to let him go through whatever he's going through alone.
"Shhhh, It's going to be okay" I try to say soothingly. I want nothing more than to scream insults to make him hate me. I restrain myself though, there will be time for that later.
"I...I had an episode thissss afternoon... I thought it was over, but apparently it wasn't. I started to lose control, so I went into the kitchen and tried to hold onto something, I saw the liquor I had for Haymitch...I hoped it would snap me out of it."
I honestly didn't even form a thought. This was so unlike him. The Capitol changed him into god only knows what, when he has his attacks, but I didn't think this could even be his Hijacked self.
"How did you get here?" I ask
"I don't remember. I've been trying to give you space."
So he loves me so much, but is staying away from me? God, why do I care? I try so hard not to. I think of Prim suddenly, and how she always loved the way Peeta frosted the cakes. She saw beauty in the hell we were living in. She's dead I remind myself. She's dead and it's your fault. I think for another moment. Well, I'm not really alive. Well, if I can't save myself, I owe it to Prim to save him.
"Peeta, come on let's get you home okay?"
I'm still trying to keep him alive.
I approach him carefully and touch his shoulder. He flinches but soon relaxes. He lifts his head and I lose myself in his blue eyes. I realize all my hate towards him is me hating what I did to him. He deserves my help at the least.
"I'm soo sorry Katniss, I didn't think about what I was doing. Just don't tell Haymitch okay? I don't want to open Pandora's Box."
I smile for the first time in over two months.
"Okay, Peeta just don't scare me again."
"Agreed." He chuckles.
I walk him home and he apologizes again. I open the front door to his home and the sound of running water is present. I walk into the kitchen to discover broken bowls, plates, chairs and the words 'mutt' and 'not real' spelled in various foods all over the walls and floor.
"Well, looks like I made a mountain out of a mole hill, doesn't it?
Peeta. That self-deprecating humor I've always admired.
"I'll clean it up, you get to bed." I bet it would have sounded a lot more convincing if I didn't have tears in my eyes. I couldn't hold myself together any longer. My glue was thinning, and I was starting to peel.
"Katniss... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of it. I don't want to hurt you any more, please forgive me."
"It's not what you did Peeta. It's what you and I both didn't do...I..I can't"
I ran away without another word. I ran to the meadow, somewhere I knew I would be safe and free. I was worried about what Peeta might take away from what I said, but now I just focused on never letting go of the people I care about. I let Prim down. I tried to kill myself for it. It wasn't worth it. I need to help myself. I need to help Peeta. I lie down and take deep breaths. My hand reaches into my pocket and my fingers rub against the pearl that lives there. Unfortunately memories consume me and I end up running home and adding a page to my book. I look at the last page, It's Peeta's page. I added it when I thought he was never coming back to me. I start a new page. I write for an hour and when I'm finally finished I add a title.
'Katniss Everdeen'.
I hope I was clear with the ending of this chapter. I think it would be fun to see all the interperretations. Let me know if you want me to write anything differently, or where you want this story to go! Please REVIEW! The more reviews, the more I write!
