This chapter has now been beta'd by shouvley and itlnbrt from Project Team Beta. Thank you so much to them both for wading through and sorting out my comma swamped ramblings!
AN: Thank you so much for my reviews, follows and favourites. It's nice to see there are some people out there reading this little story!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, The Village People or Edwinn Starr. No copyright infringement intended.
~0~0~0 STAR JUMPS 0~0~0~
For the past two hours, I'd been attempting to do some work in the library. Between Ro's constant stream of texts, and the fact we got in at 3 a.m. this morning, I'd managed to make approximately zero progress. The five cups of tepid dishwater, which passed for coffee here, hadn't helped either.
I calculated that I'd spent five minutes in the line for each coffee, ten minutes being scolded for having said coffee in the library, eighteen minutes grumbling at the injustice of not being allowed coffee in the library, ten minutes formulating a plan, to hide my coffee from the beady eyed librarian, thirty minutes daydreaming about being rescued from the dreary library by handsome soldiers, and another five minutes thinking up this calculation, giving me a grand total of twelve minutes of real work, which consisted of performing a spell check and three word-counts on the two pages I wrote last week.
My phone vibrated loudly on the desk, causing every person in the library to shoot me a death glare. Answering it, Ro's voice accompanied by loud music, exploded into the silence.
"I'M OUTSIDE, GEEKY McGEEKERSON."
Mortified, I grabbed all my books and headed to the exit. I spotted the librarian marching over towards me, her lips pursed. I momentarily wondered if becoming a bitter old lady is what happens when you have to shush people all the time.
Running out of the door as fast as my legs could carry me, I felt numerous pairs of eyes burning holes in my back.
If I'd thought my embarrassment for the day was over, I was wrong. I heard it before I saw her.
"In the navy,
Yes, you can sail the seven seas,
In the navy,
Yes, you can put your mind at ease,
In the navy
Come on now, people, make a stand,
In the navy."
Parked at the side of the library was Ro, music blaring out across the campus.
If there had been a bush nearby, I would have jumped into it. Unfortunately, I was destined to have no luck today, so I trudged over to her under the glares of more angry academics.
I ripped open the door and scowled at her, wrenching the volume control down as I got in.
"Well hello, darling. How was your day?" She smiled sweetly.
"'In the NAVY'?" I fumed.
"I'm getting us in the mood for our shopping trip." She grinned before pulling away from the curb at warp speed, scattering our audience.
"You do know the difference between the Navy and the Army, right?"
"Yes, obviously, but I didn't want to limit the playlist."
I palmed my face in exasperation. "There's a playlist?"
"Yes of course. You have to have a playlist for every occasion."
I grabbed her iPod. "Operation Sex-me-up soldiers?"
"What? I had to call it something!"
"Soldiers … plural?"
"Yep, one for you and one for me."
I spluttered, "Me? You never said anything about that! I thought I was just coming to keep you company! "
I hadn't told Ro about the sighting of Sex-on-Legs, as I was now referring to him. She was notorious for her matchmaking attempts. Attempts because they usually ended in total failure.
Prime example: Mr. Connor, our chemistry teacher in high school.
I may have mentioned to her, once, that I thought he was handsome. She watched his behavior around me like a hawk, until one day his innocent praise over my latest piece of work was deemed, by Ro, to be a clear sign he had the hots for me.
A note was promptly forged in my scrawling handwriting, inviting him to "meet me in the chemistry lab to assess my abilities," among other cringe-worthy things. It was then handed in with our next assignment.
I was dragged to the principal's office, mother in tow, to talk about my inappropriate behavior, and I had to endure a mortifying birth control talk with both of my parents. Ro had to give me her beloved black leather jacket as compensation.
"I know, but what's the point of doing it if you don't get a sexy man at the end?" She turned the music back up; Edwinn Starr was now blaring out. I gave up.
"Hmmm, I could be totally wrong with this, but don't people go to boot camp to stay in shape?"
"Not me!" She grinned.
Rosalie Hale was one of those sickening people who'd never done a day's exercise in her life and still looked like a pin-up girl.
"How are you going to do it without breaking into a sweat? It's not a walk in the park you know."
"We're beginners. They can't expect us to do much on our first class," she mused. "And don't even think about getting all competitive. You're there to make me look good."
"I'm not sure how I'm supposed to look worse than you when you collapse in a heap," I teased.
"I will not! It can't be that bad."
I kept quiet. It was going to be hilarious.
.
.
We met up with Ali in town later that afternoon, so Ro could buy some workout gear. Exercise wasn't a concept she understood, but clothes shopping was. She dragged us from shop after shop, looking for the perfect outfit. We both sat patiently in changing rooms as she paraded one ensemble after the other for our verdicts.
I always loved the part in movies when the protagonist gets a makeover, the quick changes and twirls set to some cheesy '80s music.
It was absolutely nothing like that. I started to think I should recommend it as a form of torture for interrogating terrorists. I actually liked buying new clothes, but this fashion parade was killing me.
"So, are you looking forward to tonight?" Ali asked. She was all for us joining her. She worked hard and played harder and was one of those crazies who went to the gym at 6 a.m.
"Not really." I sighed. "I have to stick with Ro and 'make her look good.'" I quoted with my fingers.
"What are you going to do, hop around on one leg?" she joked.
We both ran together regularly and loved winding Ro up about being such a lazy slob. She maintained we were both just jealous because she didn't need to exercise.
We probably were. A bit.
"What about this?" Ro burst out from behind the curtain in tight black leggings and a pink-cropped sports bra.
Ali burst out laughing. "You are going to freeze! You do realize it's going to be dark, muddy, and wet?"
I groaned and put my head in my hands. No matter what they said, I was not getting muddy.
"Look, just get that outfit and a thin jacket. That pink one you tried on 375 outfits ago," I begged.
"Fine." She huffed dramatically, pulling the curtain back across.
"Should we bet how long she'll last?" I looked at Ali.
"Yes! Ten minutes before she has to fake an injury."
"She's stubborn. I'll go for half an hour, and whoever loses buys the first round on Saturday."
"I can hear you, you know," Ro grumbled from behind the curtain.
"Deal," Ali whispered and winked.
.
.
Later that evening, the three of us arrived at the meeting point. Two ready for boot camp, and one who looked like she'd lost her way from a catalogue photo-shoot. Ali wore her yellow jacket and black running leggings; I wore the same, all in black.
The huge meathead soldier was taking roll call again. We approached him, Ro leading the way with a sashay worthy of Marilyn Monroe.
"Hello, ladies." His booming voice startled me from my inconspicuous search for Sex-on-Legs.
"Hello, soldier," Ro purred seductively. "This is our first time here." She gestured to herself and me. "Rosalie Hale and Bella Swan."
"Ahh, lookie here. We've gots ourselves some A-mericaans," he drawled in a crappy Southern accent. "I'm McCarty." He grinned, dimples deep in his cheeks.
Ro rolled her eyes at me, and I didn't miss the quick up and down he gave her either. He was searching the list for our names when Ro leaned in, a classic move, displaying her ample cleavage in the process.
"Here we are." She pointed to our names, looking up at him from under her eyelashes, before flashing him a dazzling smile.
"Great, thanks." He smiled, his eyes lingering on her for a moment.
At that rate, it would be our first and last class.
"You might want to start in beginners for your first time, to get a taste of what it's like," he addressed both of us. "Blue bibs for beginners, red for intermediate, and green for advanced. You can move up next week if you want."
"Thanks." Ro gave him a final flutter of her lashes, before she headed to the bins. His eyes followed her ass the whole way. He caught me looking and shrugged his shoulders with a wry grin. I shook my head laughing; he had no idea what he was dealing with when it came to Ro. He didn't stand a chance.
We grabbed blue bibs, and Ali went straight for green.
Two other soldiers arrived, joining McCarty. All three were dressed in camo pants, boots, and navy t-shirts with the BAF logo. They chatted in a group, preparing huge backpacks with water and equipment. McCarty would probably need that pack later to carry Ro back in. Sex-on-Legs was there, along with another tall soldier I'd not seen before who had slightly curly, dirty-blond hair.
Finally, they came over to where the group was waiting. Sex-on-Legs was looking every bit as gorgeous as I remembered. He turned to face the awaiting class and smiled a crooked grin.
The clouds parted, and angels came down from the heavens singing "Gloriana" and playing trumpets. Okay they didn't, but if it was possible, I had no doubt it would have happened. At least three girls passed out.
"Hey, everyone, get in your groups and let's get moving!" he shouted, clapping his hands.
Ali went with the rest of the greens, wishing us good luck as she passed. Everyone started to run in place, as he shouted out commands.
"FASTER, SLOWER, SPRINT."
"Right, you lovely lot, now you're all getting warmed anyone have any injuries?"
I took my chance to gaze at him as he discussed various ailments with people in the class. Oh man-oh-man. I didn't even know they created men that attractive in the real world.
With his tousled brown hair, scruffy stubble, and green eyes, he looked like an ad for cologne. I wondered what he'd smell like. I'd have to get a bit closer to investigate. And that jaw. Oh my God. I had never in my life seen something so … lickable. Yes, lickable. To have that stubble brushing against my neck as he kissed the sensitive part behind my ear, or even better, scratching up the inside of my—
"Bella has a fat ass." Ro's voice rudely interrupted my daydream. The whole class burst into laughter, and it took my brain a few seconds to register what the bitch had said.
Please, ground, swallow me up now.
"WHAT?" I glared at her and then the solider who was laughing along. I swore he was slyly trying to see if I did indeed have a fat ass.
"Cullen." She nodded toward the soldier. "Asked why we joined." She smiled smugly.
"Oh really … was it not because you're a dirty sl—mphmhmhmph—" I started before she slapped her hand across my mouth, cutting me off.
"Okay, ladies, let's not fight. You'll need all your energy tonight." Cullen interrupted us, winking at me. He was going to have to stop unleashing all his sex appeal like that; my knees were starting to feel wobbly.
"First things first, Blues are with McCarty, Reds with Whitlock, and Greens with me," he shouted above the noise of everyone's feet, pounding the floor.
Damn it, no more ogling for me.
"Round the tree and back to your groups when I say go." He pointed to a huge oak tree on the other side of the field. "Last one back from each group does twenty sit ups."
I looked at the field; it was a swamp. There was no way in hell I was going to be lying in that. Screw Ro.
I gave her a dirty look just before he yelled, "GO!" I shot off like a bat out of hell.
Matching stride with Ali, we both made it around quickly. I was the first back to the Blues. Looking over to the other groups, I saw Cullen was looking over in my direction. He raised an eyebrow at me. Shit.
Looking back, I was glad I wasn't in his group; I wasn't sure I could function properly with him around. I forced my eyes back to the race.
Ro looked like she was struggling slightly; I grinned with amusement as she made it back, luckily not in last place.
She barreled into me, panting hard, her face flushed a bright red.
"I can taste blood in my mouth. "She gasped, her hands on her knees. "Is that normal? Maybe I need to go to the hospital."
"All I've got to say is I told you so." I laughed at her. "No mercy after that stunt you just pulled."
"I did that for you!" she spluttered, before erupting into a coughing fit.
"How is telling everyone I have a fat ass for me?"
"I saw you drooling all over him. I simply pointed you out. At least he knows who you are now."
"Are you kidding me?" I screeched. "Honestly, sometimes I could strangle you."
"Trust me, B, I just gave him the perfect opportunity to check you out, and when he sees your peachy be-hind, he'll come running. Then you will be thanking me!"
"Oh my God. Zip it." I held my hand up, to exaggerate my point. She licked it.
"You are disgusting." I cringed, wiping it on her jacket.
"I know, but that's why you love me." She winked.
The next part of the class wasn't too bad: relays up and down the field in teams. I kept an eye on Ro, who looked on the verge of passing out. She eventually gave up, feigning a sore ankle to get out of the last run.
Bingo, free beers for me. McCarty sat next to her on the floor, checking her ankle, while she gave an Oscar-winning performance. We didn't see the other teams after the warm up; they had all run off in different directions, but I found my thoughts returning to Cullen. Damn him and his glorious face.
Eventually, he was as far from my mind as possible. McCarty had ordered us to crawl along a ditch, on our hands and knees, through and over old tractor tires.
Fuck my life.
I may have crouched by a puddle for five minutes, like a big baby, refusing to put my hands in the sludge. He gave me two options:
One – do it and get muddy
Two – do it and get muddy, then do it again.
Never again. Ever.
Everyone else seemed to think that was the most enjoyable part of the class. Even Ro was prancing about, splashing mud around, like it was a totally normal thing to do.
Are they crazy?
It was getting dark, it was freezing, and I was covered in mud that reeked of crap. Ro was going to owe me big time for this. I cringed looking down at myself; I wasn't sure I could have gotten more mud on me if I tried.
At the end of the class, we walked back to the meeting point. I held my hands out in front of me, like a zombie, and marched straight up to McCarty.
"Is there somewhere to get this mud off?" I shoved my hands at him. He threw his head back and guffawed loudly. Not the response I was hoping for.
"Just rub them on your clothes," he suggested, before walking away to the van.
I stood with my mouth opening and closing like a fish. Why didn't anyone else think this was an issue? There wasn't a clean inch on my body. Everyone began to put their bibs back into the boxes that were lit up under the street lamps. Peeling mine off, I scrubbed my hands on the inside as I searched for Ro and Ali. Ro had stripped right back to her sports bra, and I could hear her laughter as she flirted with McCarty. Interestingly, Ali was involved in a debate with Whitlock, talking animatedly with their heads close together.
"Well don't mind me. I'll just wait here," I grumbled to myself.
Cullen appeared beside me, making me jump.
"Dirty enough?" He smirked as his eyes roamed over me.
"I hate dirt," was all I could think to say. Idiot.
"Really?" He laughed. "Could have fooled me. Looks like you've been rolling in it."
I scowled at him. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to punch him or mount him. I wasn't feeling my hottest, so punching was looking like the more appealing option. Instead, I huffed and turned away, deciding that assaulting one of the instructors was probably not a good idea. I heard him chuckling to himself.
As I was about to spin around and call him something totally offensive, he leaned in to me, his stubble brushing against the sensitive part of my neck as he whispered in my ear.
"I want you in my group next week."
Oh shit.
…
AN: Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think. x
I'm on twitter at - sparrownotes24 if you want to come and chat.
