Castle made his quick appearance at The Old Haunt, it was more of a cameo really, and high tailed it out of there to his apartment. He entered and went to the wine stand. "Hello Darling I saw the bombing case has been closed." Martha was there waiting for him to come in. She's drinking some of his wine like normal. There was a slight disappointment to her tone like she wasn't hoping to see him tonight.

"Where's Alexis?" He asked

"In her room talking with her mother." Martha didn't like her former daughter in law at all. Not like Rick did much but she was Alexis' mother, though it's hard to believe looking at his daughter's behavior. "She heard about the bombing 'today'," Martha didn't believe that but she didn't believe anything Meredith said anymore anyways, "and called Alexis about an hour ago, on the main line. They've been talking since." Meredith had called the land line even though Alexis had her own cell, just one way to get under Martha and Richard's skin. Martha soon turned her attention back to her son as he was looking for that bottle of wine. "So um… have you um… told Detective Beckett… you know." Since he was here and Beckett wasn't Martha was preparing for the worst.

Rick kept looking for that bottle of Chateauneuf-du-Pape. And without turning to face his overly dramatic mother, "I haven't told her yet."

"What do you mean you haven't told her yet?!" she's upset and being that overly dramatic self of hers, "Richard Castle when do you ever intend to tell the women how you feel when she can actually hear you? You can't put it off forever." She waves her finger at him, "You said to me you would yesterday and now the case is over and you still haven't told her. Do you ever want to find out how she feels about you?" Martha is being dramatic but she has a point. He does want to know how she feels about him.

Rick finally finds that bottle of wine he's promised. He turns to face his mother. "Look Mother, I'll tell her when I'm ready." And he wasn't really ready at the Precinct when Ryan interrupted them or when Gates just did as well.

"And by your actions that seems to never." She collects herself, "Richard you can't go on not knowing how she feels, waiting any more for her won't change her feelings. If she's not ready now she never will be." That hits home. With all the time the spent together, is waiting any more going to help his cause? Her mother's murder is colder than cold. He has seen to it that it's at a truce. A truce he never intends to break. If Kate's wall can't come down until her mother's has been solved then she'll never be ready for him. He knows that. He doesn't want to face that possibility. But it's real to him. VERY REAL. And it's one of the many things he's going to have to face tonight. He's scared she doesn't have the same feelings for him as he has for her. I love her but does she love me?

"Look I'm…," he shakes his head, "I'm going over to her place right now and…," He breathed in before the next part, "I'm planning on telling her how I feel there." I love her and I want her to know.

Martha gives a strange look on her face. "Why are you going over to her place now, isn't the whole precinct at your bar?" somehow Martha had heard that The Old Haunt was hosting the whole 12th, he didn't know how.

"She invited me to her apartment. She wanted to get some peace and quiet given everything that happened." That was how he interrupted what she said.

"So is it just the two of you then?" Martha asked somewhat hopefully winking at her son.

"I don't know, she invited Ryan and Esposito, they both were too tired and went home. I'm guessing Lanie will be there. Who knows who else." He really had no clue who else could be there. He was completely unaware that Kate wanted it to be just the two of them.

"Oh, ok." Martha sighed disappointed. She grabbed his wrists. "Richard promise me that you'll tell her tonight."

Richard looked at her. Martha was holding his wrists, one of which was holding the wine bottle he promised Kate. "I will Mother." He finally said. They both looked at each other. "Tell Alexis…"

"We won't be calling you." Martha interrupted him. "Hope we don't see you till tomorrow." That stunned him. He looked into his mother's eyes. She gave that look in her eye of pure parental love. Or at least was giving a sign of understanding, he wasn't sure which or if it was something else. He really didn't know what was going on. Then Martha started to pat his shoulder and added "Break a leg kiddo." With that Richard Castle left the loft and hailed a cab to Kate Beckett's apartment. It was going to be an interesting few hours, to say the least. Hours that would define the rest of his life.

...

"Why didn't he make a move? Why the hell didn't he try?" She holds up her hands in disgust. Kate yelled aloud.

"Who are you talking about Kate?" Dr Burke calming said, only half asking, since he knew who Kate was talking about but wanted confirmation from his patient first.

"You know who!" Of course he knew, who else could she be talking about.

"You haven't told me." He was making Kate tell him.

"Castle of course" Who the hell else MORON? Who do I always talk to you about when I come here for the last 6 months since I told you I remember what happened? Kate was agitated from last night. Actually agitated is an understatement.

"Kate can you take me through what happened?" Oh. She hadn't told him anything about what happened last night yet.

"Well we had been investigating the Bolyan Plaza bombing." She decided to start at the beginning. "Two mornings ago Castle came into the precinct. He asked if we could talk." She paused.

"What did you talk about?" he said right before Kate was going to continue.

"Not much. He asked if we could talk. He said that there was something he wanted to tell me." She brushed her hair back before she continued. "He said that he was thinking about the bombing victims and he didn't want to lose the opportunity because he didn't act." She breathed in, "And then Ryan interrupted us." She shook her head. She was still unhappy about that, even though it was just bad timing and not his fault.

"Kate who is Ryan?"

"Oh he's one of the other Detectives at the 12th, one of my partners." She forgot that Dr. Burke hadn't ever been told about her partners. It is weird that she has to explain who Ryan is to her therapist. She had spoken with him so much but never mentioned Kevin or Javi, and had barely mentioned Lanie but once or twice. Dr Burke was there to talk about Castle and dealing with her shooting mostly.

"Ok, go on."

"Well our captain wanted us to look at something she just got. And Castle said that what he wanted to say would wait until after the case was done." She took a drink of coffee. She called in an 'emergency' session first thing this morning, needing to figure out what happened last night. "After the case was done I asked people if they wanted to go The Old Haunt to grab a drink with everyone else." She interjected as well before he asked the follow up question, "The Old Haunt is Castle's tavern and was giving out free drinks that night to the 12th since the case was done." She took another drink of her coffee before she continued. "My two partners said they wanted to head home. They were tired from the case and all." She waved her hand. Then she continued, "So it was just me and Castle." She shook her head. She was reflecting on everything that had happened that night. Trying to understand it.

"Kate, what happened next?"

"Well I asked Castle about what he wanted to tell me. And it was at that point I figured it out what he was going to say." Kate relaxed and started to have a huge grin remembering what he said.

"What did he say?"

"Well nothing at first he wanted to say it in private, so I invited him back to my place after he took care of a couple of things. I thought that was a big enough of a hint, but how could he not see it?" She threw her arms up in frustration. How can he be so dumb? How could Castle not take that hint?

"Kate, did he come to your place?"

"Yes, he did."

"What happened at your place?"

Then Kate starts to recount what happened.

...

Castle shows up at the door. He has one of his favorite wines in one hand. And in the other he is making the motion to knock on the door. He pauses. He's scared of all the bad things that can happen. Being a writer he can come up with a lot of really bad ones. It's sort of his job to come up with worst case scenarios. Hopefully it won't be like the last time he came over to her apartment with a bottle of Chateauneuf-du-Pape, which ended with a body on her doorstep the next day. And then the next day her place was bombed. Stay on track stupid, she doesn't have a psycho following her right now. Oh what if she does? Get back on track, concentrate.

He collects himself and he knocks on the door. The wait until she opens it is maybe 10 seconds, at most. It felt like 10 hours. "Hey you're here finally." She smiles so wide at his presence.

He holds up the wine, "2001 Chateauneuf-du-Pape like you requested." She smiles and jesters for him to come in.

"How you doing?" trying to make some small talk before the big talk.

"Doing good," Kate pauses and turns sideways to point at the couch, "why don't we sit down on the couch." She's direct. Not really trying to hide her enjoyment thinking of what is about to happen. A moment she's been waiting for a while now.

Castle enters Beckett's apartment and starts to look around, he sees no one else. "Laine joining us?" He's a little shocked to see no one else. No he's really shocked to see no one else.

"No, she's not." Kate paused "it's just the two of us." Not realizing Castle thought it was going to be a group of people.

"Oh", Castle paused, expecting the ME to already be there having not seen her at The Old Haunt. "I'd figure she'd be joining us." He voices allowed what was going through his head at the time.

"Um No, she wanted some rest." She fibbed, she hadn't not contacted Lanie. Though it may be the truth though; she didn't know where Lanie was. But that wasn't important, not right now, not tonight, she wanted to get back on track.

Castle opens the bottle of wine with relative ease. Kate holds out two glass which Castle fills both. Kate guides them to her couch. The sit down, very similar to how they sat a month ago when they listened to Martha's One Women Play encore performance. Very close to each other. They weren't even alone then. But now they are. No one's coming to interrupt them. They have a few sips of wine. Kate puts her glass down and decides to start the conversation. "So what did you want to tell me?"

"Well Kate, it's very important." Castle speaks very slowly, cautiously. He puts his wine glass down. "It's about the two of us." He pauses before he starts again. He wants to put this as gently as possible in case she doesn't feel what he feels. "And if you don't like what I'm about to say then I'll leave and never come back, no questions asked."

Kate responds quickly, "Castle I wouldn't make you leave. Quit being silly." Kate lightly taps his knee with her hand as she says this. She knows what he's about to say. She can't believe that he thinks she won't act positive to his words. He has NO CLUE that she knows.

However he's afraid that she thinks he's joking. "I'm being serious Kate, very serious." He responds while looking her strait in the eyes. He put a lot of emphasis on the 'very serious', making sure she realizes he's not joking. He goes on, "Kate I,…" There is a long pause as he looks down. His tongue is caught in his throat. He's having a hard time finding the resolve to say the next words.

"You what…" She was trying to prod him on, but not too hard. Kate wants him to say it on his own, so she can hear it, without the pain. Hear it in a moment of joy.

"Let me finish Kate." She nods, understanding. He gathers himself and prepares for the worst. "Kate," he takes a very deep breath and blasts out his not so secret feelings, "Kate I love you."

It's the phrase that she's been so desperate to hear. "You do?" She half stating, half questioning. She's shocked by what she hears. I knew he was going to say that and 'You do' is all I can say. She shocked even though she knew he was going to say it. It's like she's in a dream.

"I do." He responds less scared than he had been previously, thinking that this is the first time Kate has heard him say it. He's still going through new worst case scenarios in his mind given the new developments.

The room is calm. A quite calm. But it is anything but calm with their emotions . A feeling of want and desire fills both of them. Neither is saying anything. Because there doesn't have to be anything said. Both are waiting for the other to do something, both scared that something bad will happen. Finally Kate breaks the standstill. She takes his neck with her hands, rubbing his cheeks with her thumbs. They look deeply into each other's eyes. Castle is starting to realize she feels the same way. He starts to smile. His smile widens by the second and Kate's does as well in response. He still doesn't quite believe what is about to happen, what is happening. Kate closes her eyes as she moves her face towards him. He closes his eyes as well. His hands go to the back of Kate's shoulders.

Then they kiss.

It's not like the kiss they shared while undercover over a year ago. That was half faking it, half pure desire. But this one, it's real. 100% real. The one they've both craved and wanted. The kiss they needed. They pull away for a brief second. To confirm what just happened. They look at each other and go at.

They kiss every way you can think of. They kiss Passionately. Sloppily. Hungrily. Slowly. Wantingly, if that is even a word.

They make out like a couple of college kids at a frat party in a private room. But they've had more experience. Yet, this is different from anything either has experienced before. Their hands roam around their necks and back; through their hair. After the first kiss they only pull back to catch each others breath.

After a long time, Caslte pulls away. "Wow, is this real?" taking a breath between each word. That lasted an eternity and flew right by at the same time. It's so different than any dream he's ever had of this moment. He can barely breathe, he sucking so much air trying to catch his breath. He wants to start up again so badly.

Kate is sucking air as well but she responds to her lover's words of disbelief. "This is real." She says as she looks into his eyes. She's wanting to start up again too. But Castle pulls away.

"Slow down there, I need to catch my breath." She smiles and laughs. She waits. All that time she uses her hands to rub different parts of this body. His arms, back, outside of his legs and his chest. She smiling coyly at him hoping he gets the message of what she wants. After about a minute or so Castle seems to regain his breath.

"So round 2?" he says.

"Round 2." And round 2 begins. Their lips lock for what seems like forever as their hands roam to different areas this time. Nothing overtly sexually, but touching to show desire for the other.

Eventually Castle has to break again. "Wow this is truly amazing. Beyond my wildest dreams."

"Really this is beyond your wildest dreams? I thought you were an author." She mocks him. But at the same time the same is true for her. This is also beyond her wildest dreams.

"Kate," He takes her hands, "I came in here thinking you didn't feel the same way." She's shocked by this. She thought she had given all the signs. "I was afraid, that the wall inside was still up and you didn't want to start a relationship. I thought that tonight could be the last time I ever saw you."

Then it hits her how big a deal this was to him. How much he thought he was putting on the line to tell her how he felt. She thought she'd given all the signs. After the day handcuffed together, during Ryan's Wedding reception, at Martha's One Women Play. But she hadn't. He didn't pick up on them. He still had no clue that she shared these feelings. He bared his heart to her not knowing how she felt. He was emotional putting himself completely vulnerable to her. And she was glad. But then she's back in the interrogation with Bobby. If she gone on a few more words, if Bobby hadn't asked for a lawyer. He would have heard, heard her say that she remembers; remembers the first time he declared his love for her…

"Kate you ok." Castle is worried.

"Yeah, just wondering how you could think I didn't feel that way about you."

"Oh, I guess I was… I don't know."

Kate lets out a small laughs, "I thought you were observing me."

"Well, I guess not well enough, which I'll have to correct in the future." He reaches down to grab her wine glass and gives it to her. "To us," he holds out his glass a toast, "that we finally told the other how we truly felt." Kate hadn't really said any words, it was more of actions speak louder than words.

She puts her glass against his, "To us." They toast and finish their wine.

"So how do you want to play this?" he asks as he puts the glass down.

"What do you mean?"

"Well I told Mother that I was going to bare my soul to you. Alexis doesn't know I'm here. Who do else do we want to let unto our lip locking, which by the way your amazing at."

He told his mom? Kate started to think about it. Really that makes sense though. He's probably confided in Martha about his emotions towards me, much like I have seen Dr. Burke for my 'issues' with Castle.

"Kate what are you thinking?"

"Oh, um I want to keep this to ourselves as long as possible. I haven't told anyone that you were coming over. I want to keep it on the down low until we figure out what we have, ok?" He nodded.

"I understand." Castle was fine with whomever Kate did or didn't want to tell.

She went on. "If anyone finds out they'll tell other people and eventually Gates will find out and we won't be able to work together Castle." She says this not so much that she's scared of Gates finding out. It's more that she wants to keep this to themselves so she can explore how this makes her feel. She's never felt this way before. Then it dawns on her, "Can your drama queen for a mother keep this secret, can we trust her?"

"Yes Mother can be trusted to keep this secret." He takes her other hand now. "Mother will be thrilled and if you say that keeping it a secret until we figure it out is a condition, her mouth will be shut. As much as she's going to want to tell Alexis or her Drama students or her hair dresser; our secret is safe with Mother. Which is something I'd never thought I'd say."

"Ok, good." She's a little relieved. But now she wants more to happen tonight.

"Kate, it's late and if we don't want Alexis to get suspicious I'd better get home."

"Oh, yeah." She's a little shocked that the night is ending so soon, but then she looks a clock, they had been making out for about 90 minutes. An hour and a half? Not possible I can't believe we were making out that long. It flew by. She didn't want him to leave, she wanted so much more from him tonight.

He stood up. "So tomorrow." And with that he pulled her up to stand beside him. The looked at each others eyes and he kisses her again. A slow soft kiss. It was a good night kiss. "Tomorrow night dinner here at your place?" He asked.

"Sure thing." She said. And with that Castle left the happiest he'd ever been. Kate was confused though.

...

"Wasn't it obvious?" Kate half asks half yells at her therapist Dr. Burke.

"What are you talking about Kate?" Dr Burke responds having very little to go. She hasn't said much since they started this meeting about half an hour ago.

"You know what I'm talking about."

"No I don't, if you want to talk about it, you need to tell me what you're talking about."

She sighs, "I invited him over, it was just the 2 of us. We were making out. I felt it was obvious that I was giving him the 'ok' to make a move."

"What do you mean by making a move?"

"I wanted him to start… sex, ok." She finally spells it out for him. He knew but didn't want to presume. "That's what I meant by making a move." She paces around a bit. "Does he not want to have sex with me? Is he not interested in me that way? What do you think?" She's rattling off questions left and right to him. "Wouldn't any other guy in that position try to have sex with me last night?"

"Kate all men are different."

"Well can you at least try to answer me, isn't that what the city's insurance is paying you for?" Kate is searching for a way to explain what happened.

"I have never met Mr. Castle. I can't give a definitive reason for his behavior without meeting him."

"Can you at least try?"

"I'm not Dr Phil, Kate. I can't analyze people I've never met. I can only try and help you." He looks at Kate. "Did you want to have sex with Castle last night, Kate?"

"Why are you asking me that?" She raises her hands while he looks at her.

"You've only told me that you're upset he didn't try and initiate sex, you haven't said if you actually wanted to have sex last night."

She answered the question then. "Yes, ok I did, what does that matter? What matters is that he didn't make a move."

"Again, let's concentrate on what you did and didn't do." He was emphasizing the last part.

"Wait, what," Kate is confused, "what do you mean didn't do?"

"Did you tell Castle you wanted to have sex with him last night?"

"What kind of question is that? It was plain and clear. He's a guy he should make a move first."

"Is that what was preventing you from 'making a move', Kate? Do you need him to take the risks?"

"Wait, what, what are you talking about?"

"You're a mature adult female. Nothing says that you can't initiate sexual intimacy. Being the one to start intimacy in a relationship can be a big emotional risk. You seem to think it should be Castle and not you to take that risk."

"But Castle should, guys should start things."

"Kate let me ask you this. In every other sexual relationship has your partner initiated sexual contact?"

"Well, yeah," she paused and thought about it again, "um, no not always." In fact she was the one that started things most of the time. "I've made the first move a few times. Why is that important?" Kate is even more confused. What the hell is he getting at?

He pauses and looks strait at Kate. There is a moment of silence and then he asks the question he's asked her before. "Kate, what are you really scared of?"

"Wait, why do you think I'm scared?"

"If you were not afraid of something, you would have told Castle your desires. Now could it be that you're afraid you aren't fully healed?"

"Why would that have anything to do with this?" She is angry and is half stating, half asking.

"When you were shot Castle said that he loved you."

"Yes he did," she was shaking her head at this. Well yeah what else have we been talking about all this time.

"Did you tell him you remember?"

"NO, but that's not important now."

"At the time of the shooting you were in a relationship with another man, a doctor."

"Yeah, Josh was his name."

"Castle took an emotional risk letting you know his feelings when you were shot. From his point of view you could have chosen Josh over him. Yet he was willing to risk your rejection to let his feelings be known. He's waited months for you to remember what he said. And last night he decided not to wait anymore and took the risk again. Castle has taken several risks to let you know his feelings Kate." Burke paused and collected himself. Kate was absorbing it all in. "Now you've been healing. However I believe you haven't fully recovered."

"Look I don't think at this point it's a good idea to mention I remember. It's just going to complicate things, plus I feel like I'm over the shooting."

Dr Burke looked straight into her eyes and replied. "I wasn't talking about the shooting. I was talking about what you've be trying to heal from all this time even before we met, your mother's death."

Oh that. Yeah Kate was still dealing with that. "My mom shouldn't have anything to do with this." Kate was lying to herself and Burke could see that.

"But it does; doesn't it Kate? The memory of your mother's death is causing you to be afraid to have emotional intimacy with another person. Kate you told me that. You told me that was one of the reasons you broke up with Josh. Is that what you're scared of Kate? That you aren't ready to have a relationship and you're searching for ways to undermine the one you have now with Castle. You're preemptively protecting yourself from getting hurt again."

He's hit it right on the head. "Yeah, I still am." Kate was scared. That wall was still up. Castle's words have cracked it, again. Weakened it. But it was still there.

"Kate you can't let your mother down, she's dead. You're only letting yourself down." He's said this before. After a few moments Dr Burke continued. "Lack of sexual contact on a first date means nothing for the future of the relationship. You shouldn't look for ways that the relationship can fail." He's done and points his index fingers at Kate from his clasped hands. That is the signal to her showing he's waiting for her response.

"Yeah. You're right." Kate pauses. Takes a swig of coffee and starts to swirl around the cup. She goes back to topic that brought her in today. "So should I like tell him I want to have sex then?"

"When you want to Kate. No one can decide that for you, only you can decide for yourself."