Alright, so since I haven't updated this story for a while, I figured I would give you guys something juicy to stay interested. The reason why I've been taking so long with this chapter is because I want to try and be as accurate as possible without ruining everything. There will probably be some things that will make you go, "wait, what? That doesn't make sense" but just bear with me. I'm trying my best and hope I don't disappoint any of you.
Remember to drop a review because I'd love to know what you think of this chapter! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it!
Her surroundings were a blur as Gwynne raced through the countryside. Her eyes saw the trees and alerted her to duck her head when branches approached overhead , but her mind seemed to be in an entirely different world altogether.
Since she left Winterfell, Gwynne had thought of the Starks and the bastard son endlessly. There wasn't a moment that passed where she didn't wonder what they were doing at that moment in time. She also wondered if any of them missed her or if they despised her very being for abandoning Robb and turning her back on all they had given her. When Gwynne received news of their demises, crippling grief had stricken her beyond anything she had ever felt before.
She had always told herself that there was time to make things right. Somewhere down the road, when she found the courage to return to Winterfell, she would go back and apologize for all she had done. She would beg for their forgiveness and would accept any punishment they deemed fit considering the circumstance. But then their entire world seemed to come crashing down around them and before she knew it, it was too late.
One by one, Gwynne heard news of losing nearly all of the Starks and realized that she had forever lost the opportunity to apologize to the people who had accepted her as one of their own. None of them deserved to die the way they had and she could only imagine Jon's horror of discovering the slaughter of his family while being so far away and helpless to stop it. Gwynne didn't possess much knowledge of the Wall, but she remembered Jon mentioning most of the men there not being able to leave. Even if Jon had wanted to seek revenge and retaliate against those who had murdered and kidnapped his family, Jon Snow would be forbidden to leave his place at the Wall. He could do nothing but stay in the cold and await news of what was left of his family being slaughtered.
Gwynne kicked the side of the horse, silently urging it to go faster. The air was growing colder with each step forward, the bitterness nipping at her face as it blew passed her. She reached up with a gloved hand and pulled the thick fabric of her hood closer to try and shield herself from the frigged air. She shivered violently at the thought of how cold it would be once she reached the Wall. She was still at least several hours away from arriving and finally began worrying about going there in the first place.
Not only did she have to worry about the never ending cold once she finally reached her destination, but there seemed to be a number of other obstacles that would soon be standing in her way. Women weren't allowed at the Wall, never have and never will be. Would the other men at the Wall even let her approach it without harm? And if she was let in, would Jon want anything to do with her? She not only broke his heart, but broke his brother's and betrayed his family. For all she knew, he wouldn't even want to lay eyes on her.
Still, all of that wasn't enough to discourage her from her journey. If he wanted nothing to do with her, at least she could live out the rest of her days knowing she tried. Knowing she tried and failed would be a much better fate than simply not knowing what could have been.
At least you know he's there. He can't leave, he has to still be there.
And then, all of a sudden, a feeling of dread consumed her body. What if something had happened to Jon after all this time? She heard of the fates of the Starks but that was because they were Starks. The people of the North loved them as though they were their own blood, but would anyone care if something ill were to befall the bastard son of Ned Stark? Maybe he had been slain months ago and she had just never heard anyone speak of it.
More desperate to reach the Wall than every before, Gwynne kicked the side of her horse again and took off down the road towards the Wall.
Every single time Jon Snow closed his eyes, he saw her. He saw her dark, wavy hair rest against the curve of her neck and her beautiful smile that never ceased to make his knees weak. As the days passed, he found it harder and harder to remember the way she felt and the way she tasted. He had always assured himself that those would be two things he would never forget but time had proven him wrong and he couldn't the defeat.
He was drifting in and out of consciousness and each time he stirred he felt an overpowering wave of pain shoot through his body. Within seconds, it drew him back to the dark where he felt no pain and could finally be reunited with her.
He imagined himself training in the yard with Grenn and swore he could feel the warmth of the sun caress his face from high above. He could feel the sweat on his brow and the cold of his leather sleeve as he wiped the perspiration from his skin. And then he heard her voice and his sword nearly fell out of his hand.
Following the sound, Jon nearly crumbled to the ground when he saw her approaching. A crowd of curious men watched in disbelief as a woman ran into the yard. They watched and murmured amongst themselves when she threw herself in the arms of Ned Stark's bastard. Jon could even hear the sound of his sword hitting the cold ground below his feet as he wrapped his arms around the woman he had always loved.
In his dreams, Gwynne being at the Wall was never a problem. She was accepted by all men and bothered by none. They simply bowed their heads when she passed and assisted her with whatever she needed if Jon wasn't around. None of them had ever tried to hurt her or force themselves on her. In Jon's dreams she was his and only his.
His fingertips burned whenever he reached out and touched her. Their first night together played out like a beautiful dream he wished he never awoke from.
Jon had tried to restrain himself all day from grabbing her and kissing her in front of his sworn brothers. He had broken his vow once before and had promised himself never again. Honour was important to the Starks, and even though his last name was Snow, he still tried desperately to follow in his father's footsteps. Even Ned Stark had broken his word, one that had resulted in the birth of Jon. And when she knocked on his door in the dead of night, Jon knew he couldn't resist finally being with her.
He had a few candles that still burned in his room when he opened the door to see Gwynne standing before him. She stepped out of the shadows and he felt a foreign feeling surge through his body. He hadn't felt it since the last time he had been alone with her and though in reality it wasn't that long ago, to Jon it felt as though it had been in another lifetime.
She closed the door behind her and leaned her body up against it, taking in the sight of Jon standing before her once again. She could hear his heavy breathing in the silent air that surrounded them. She wondered briefly if he could hear the pounding of her heart just as well.
Finally, Jon stepped forward and closed the distance between them. He rested one arm against the door, just over Gwynne's head, while the other cupped her cheek in his hand. He could feel the warmth of her skin against his and convinced himself that his dream had become a reality. As time passed, it had become too easy for Jon to confuse a dream with his reality. How many mornings had he woken up and looked beside him expecting to see Gwynne fast asleep? In truth, it was nearly every night since he had reached the Wall that he had awoken and expected her to be beside him. No matter how hard he had prayed to the Gods, she never was.
If this truly was a reality, then Jon would worry about the consequences in the morning. She had come all this way for him and that thought alone made him want to run away from the Wall to start a life with her somewhere else.
He felt her smile against his palm and watched her tilt her head to plant a kiss against his hand. The night was cold and bitter and crept in through Jon's closed window. It had given all the rooms in the castle a chill in the air, but Jon being so close to her had quickly began to warm her body. The warmth radiating off his skin reminded her that he was alive, despite everything that had happened since the last time she had seen him.
"I've waited so long to see you smile again." Jon whispered, his thumb circling Gwynne's cheek. Her smile only grew wider. She had spent so much time imagining all of this that she couldn't stop herself. If Jon wanted her, she would surrender fully to whatever he desired. She could already feel the moisture between her legs and rubbed her thighs together to try and suppress it. But she knew Jon wanted her just as badly from his ragged breathing. She was sure that if she glanced up at the hand over her head she would see it clenched in an attempt to restrain himself from her.
"Have you missed me, Jon?"
Gwynne's thought had been right. As soon as he heard her speak, his hand clenched tightly into a fist. His fingernails were short but he could feel them pierce against his skin from the sheer force. He let out a breathless laugh and closed the remaining distance between them. He pressed his body against hers and rested his forehead against Gwynne's. "So much."
Gwynne brought her arms up to circle around Jon's neck. She swore she could feel him shiver against her when she made contact his with exposed skin. "Then why haven't you kissed me yet?"
As soon as she finished her sentence, Jon's lips found hers. He had swore to remain faithful to his oath but he was only a man. He had restrained himself in Winterfell and they had been separated. He had been sure he would never see her again and it was something that had always killed him inside. If the Gods had truly meant to keep them apart, would they have brought her right back to him after all that had happened?
Gwynne moved her body against Jon's when she felt his hard and pressed against her. Even through the fabric of their clothing, she felt the desire he had for her. They had both waited so long and had both given up hope of ever truly being together. Their reunion was a second chance given to them by the Gods themselves and neither one of them could restrain from finally becoming one.
His hands were shaking as Jon reached down to unbutton the top of the dress that covered Gwynne's body. She slipped the fur cloak off her shoulders as Jon inched the dress towards her feet. The dress fell to her feet in a puddle and Jon turned to removing his own. Gwynne kept her body pressed against the door, standing only in a thin nightgown that she had worn for extra warmth from the cold air that surrounded the Wall.
Jon finally tore his lips away from hers and lifted his shirt over his head. Without taking his eyes off of her, Jon tossed the shirt somewhere behind him and hoped it wouldn't fall atop the flame of a candle. Even if it did, he wasn't sure he would be able to tear himself away from Gwynne long enough to put out the fire. If he died in that room, he would die the happiest man in all of Westeros.
Gwynne spoke up as Jon eagerly undid his pants. "Show me how much you've missed me, Jon."
Jon reached out and grabbed a hold of the thin fabric of Gwynne's nightgown. He tore it apart effortlessly and murmured an apology before claiming her lips once again. He reached down to grab a hold of her and lift her up into the air. She was smaller than he had remembered and assumed she must have not had access to the food her body needed to thrive on her way to the Wall. He would get her something to eat, but right now, he knew she wanted him just as badly. Her desire for him had completely consumed the desire for food.
Their lips never parted as Jon crossed the room and laid her down on top of his mattress. He had envisioned all of this so many times before that each second he wasn't inside of her seemed like pure agony.
He could feel his fingertips shaking violently as they explored Gwynne's body, drawing a shiver from the girl beneath him. He traced a line from her jawline to the space between her breasts, finally reaching what they desired at the centre of her legs. He smiled against her lips when he felt a slick moisture against his fingertips. She squirmed, almost embarrassed, and Jon had to assure her that it was nothing to be ashamed of. Her shyness put him at ease because it meant that she hadn't gone to bed with his brother when Jon left for the Wall and Gwynne stayed at Winterfell.
It had always been something he feared. Would she turn to Robb for comfort in Jon's absence and find herself in bed with him? After all, she was set to marry the eldest Stark. If she had given herself to him, there would have been no shame in it. From the moment Jon first reached the Wall to when he received the letter from Robb stating that Gwynne had run away, Jon had a constant pain in his heart from the thought of Gwynne being in his brother's arms.
Truth be told, Jon had never quite understood how Gwynne had chosen himself over his half brother. Robb had everything that Jon would never be able to offer. He was good looking and the heir to Winterfell. No matter where they went, women would swoon whenever Robb would flash them a smile. He was a strong fighter and had a strong sense of nobility. Another thing Robb had over his bastard brother was a future. Robb could have given Gwynne anything she had ever desired in life. Jon could give her nothing but children who would be forced to live with the shame of having Snow for a last name.
All of that vanished from his mind the moment he slipped a finger inside of Gwynne. Her back arched and she let out a soft moan as he felt her warmth tightly wrap around his finger. He kissed her harder out of desperation as she moaned in his mouth. He had taken a lover before Gwynne, but it hadn't been like this. She had replaced the one he lost and though he mourned for her, it hadn't been the same as when he left Gwynne behind.
"Jon, please..." She begged between kisses. He hadn't been the only one to lay awake at night, imagining them together. It was all that had kept Gwynne going all this time. She had prayed endlessly to be reunited with him, and laying under him with no fabric separating them was overwhelming. They could spend the rest of the night tangled in each other, but right now, she needed to feel more than just a few fingers inside of her.
Hesitantly, Jon took his finger out of her and grabbed a steady hold of his erection. He positioned himself on top of her and rubbed the tip of himself against her moist lips. She kissed him feverishly, her entire body alight from sensations she didn't know a human could experience. If this was how it felt to be with Jon, she feared she would never let him leave the bed.
He whispered to her and told her that it might hurt but he would take it slow. She grabbed a tight hold of his shoulders as Jon slid himself inside of her, moving as slowly as his body would allow. He hissed when he felt her wrapped so tightly around him. He had built this moment up so many times in his head that he was afraid it would end up disappointing him. But Gwynne's body couldn't have been further from disappointment. No words could ever describe the pure bliss that consumed Jon's body as he buried himself inside of her.
He knew he wouldn't be able to continue for much longer. His body was so anxious from the endless desire of Gwynne that he felt as though he was a mere moments from spilling his seed inside of her. He had imagined the way she felt around him for longer than he would have liked to admit, but never could he have imagined it would be this good.
She ran her fingernails along Jon's back, digging in to leave a mark for him to remember her tomorrow and pushed Jon to go faster and harder. Her pain had switched so suddenly to pleasure that Gwynne's mind had been reduced to a hazy disaster.
Jon gritted his teeth as he struggled to hold on. He clenched his jaw with such force he was scared he may lose a few teeth in the process. He buried his face in Gwynne's neck and told her that she was unable to hold on any longer. He groaned against her skin as he felt himself explode inside of her, filling her with his seed.
Jon's eyes opened slowly and he tilted his head, silently praying to the Gods that his dream had finally become a reality. His worst fear was confirmed when he found the spot beside him was empty. The pain took over again and brought Jon back into the darkness that summoned him relentlessly.
