Again, I don't own Bleach or profit in any way from it. Bcollie9 drew artwork based on this chapter. You can see it here - http:/bcollie9. / art/ A-Mother-For-Yachiru-258142995 (take out the spaces.)
In answer to a question, yes, I'm still working on Herculean Tasks of Shuuhei Hisagi. I have a lot written and as soon as I figure out a transition, I'll be posting more.
Thank you for the lovely reviews! I hope to see more. ;) Enjoy the second chapter!
A few days later, Izuru Kira found himself married to Kenpachi Zaraki and a mother to Yachiru. It happened one night when he was sleeping soundly in his bed. Rudely awakened by intruders, he was tied up, blindfolded and gagged, then secreted away to the eleventh division where he was promptly dressed in a white tuxedo and hauled down the make-shift aisle in the battered practice arena.
The battle-bruised arena had been freshly painted with only the occasional scuffmark showing through the paint. It had been transformed into an almost shimmering palace with white garlands and flowers, netting drifting from the ceiling as if attached to nothing, and a mostly white runner dividing the rag-tag assortment of chairs on which sat a rag-tag assortment of Shinigami from the eleventh division, dressed in what passed for their best. Yachiru, the flower girl, had bounced happily down the aisle, strewing camellia petals and a few weeds she had picked, in the faces of people who had been foolish enough to sit in the aisle seats. Kenpachi was dressed in a black tuxedo that, like the arena, had seen better days. His hair was slicked back, each bell shined to perfection.
The ceremony had been short. A still bound and gagged Kira had been dragged down the aisle by Yumichika and Ikkaku who served as best men because no one better could be found in the middle of the night. When the time came for the "I do's," Kenpachi had taken Kira's tied hands in his, gave Yachiru a wistful look, and squeezed the blonde's hands hard enough to elicit a muffled yelp. His tender, grateful look as he said, "I do," would have made even the most battle-hardened Shinigami sniff back a tear or two.
At Kira's turn, Yumichika lowered the gag enough for an angry Kira to shout "I DO…" and then shoved it back into place. Kira's intention had been to shout "I DO NOT!" He quickly realized the fallacy of those exact words.
The newlywed couple and their little daughter honeymooned in Kenpachi's dingy apartment with the captain and his little lieutenant happily playing games like piñata and tackle dummy with the new bride and mother, who was, of course, still tied and gagged.
It wasn't long before Kira settled down and began to make the most of his situation. Being a seated officer and currently in charge of his division, he still had duties to attend. At first, he had complained about needing to get back to his division, but Kenpachi had made arrangements for both divisions to train together. Kira found himself surrounded by members of the eleventh constantly. They were a rough and tumble group, but he soon discovered that the women felt particularly indebted to him and would help him in any way that they could, including keeping the men in line.
It was quite strange at first, but Kenpachi's eleventh brought out some of the aggression in Kira's own third. He found that he liked the change in them. They had stepped up to the challenge of Kira's husband's squad and done him proud.
At night, he went home with Kenpachi. Theirs was a completely platonic marriage, in name only, but Kenpachi took it as seriously as he took his fighting. As long as Kira was willing to look after Yachiru who was beginning to cling to him even during the day, Kenpachi seemed content to do whatever Kira asked of him and not beat the snot out of him.
For Kira, while he hadn't appreciated being kidnapped and forced into a marriage with a man and a ready-made kid, he found that he was content. In truth, he missed his friend, Hisagi. But as a wife and mother, he knew that he couldn't continue to hang around bars and get drunk like they used to do. Hisagi just wasn't kid-friendly material. He had a family now and to Kira, that was a little slice of heaven, something he had wanted since his own family had died so long ago.
As such, he took his duties seriously, grateful that he had lived past his honeymoon to see himself in his new role. Besides, Kenpachi was surprisingly good to him, his division was advancing in ways that he could never have achieved on his own, and he didn't even mind when Yachiru began to call him "Mama."
His own effect on the eleventh soon became evident as well. People marveled at how well the two divisions had adapted to each other and at how easily the former ruffians of the eleventh listened to Kira. It was obvious to all that he had discovered a way to control the whole lot of them, some sort of secret weapon, but no one knew what it was. There was speculation, of course. Perhaps Kenpachi had rubbed off on him and he had taken up some of his more brutal ways. That rumor held as little water as a hole in a Hollow. Sexual favors were guessed by some. While they speculated about Kira's more delicate nature, it wasn't all that likely either. To anyone's knowledge, Kira was a wife in name only, not in bed position. So what had caused the change? Plying them with alcohol? Drugs? Sedatives? Maybe blackmail. No one knew for certain.
The most curious of all was Hisagi. His meek friend had turned into a vice captain to be reckoned with. While he was happy for him, he was also confused and worried. It wasn't just what Kira had done to the eleventh; what had the eleventh done to Kira?
One day, Hisagi was lounging beneath a tree, his paperwork finished early for a change. It was a rare respite with no deadlines looming over him either. Eyes half closed, movement across the way caught his attention. Kira was out with his men, parading through the grounds in an exercise. He watched as the blond brought his men to halt and held up a hand.
"Okay, we're going into the Rukongai for patrol, so behave yourselves. You're representing the third and the eleventh, but don't act normal. Act nice like you're members of the ninth. No swearing, no sword fighting. If you must fight, fight to the death, but no unnecessary killing. Is that understood?"
The men in line mumbled half-heartedly. They may have changed some, but Kira was still working with them on the "no unnecessary killing" part of their training.
"Is that understood?" the vice captain repeated, a little louder this time.
Again, more mumbling.
"Your mother asked you a question!" snapped Kenpachi from the back of the line. "Now answer him right. No swearing, no sword fighting and no disrespecting women. And above all else, keep the killing to a minimum. Is that understood?"
"Thank you, Ken-chan, but I can handle this." He smiled and said in a sing-song voice, "If you behave, there will be something special for you back at the barracks. Understood?"
"You better behave good," screamed Yachiru, "or you'll have me to answer to! Right, Mama?"
He patted her head as she clung to his leg, her normal spot of Kira leeching. "Yes, Yachiru. I'm sure the men don't want to disappoint you. Do you, men?"
"No, sir!"
"Good! Now line up single file by height!"
As the underling soul reapers milled about, shuffling around until they found their proper places, Kira broke away from them, dashing over to Hisagi.
Hisagi greeted him pleasantly. It had been some time since they had last hung out together. "'Zuru, long time no see. How's married life?"
Kira glanced over his shoulder at his men. Looking almost frantic, he brushed off the small talk. "Listen, Shuuhei, I know I haven't been around much and I'm really not trying to keep Yachiru away from your bad influence. After all, I can't exactly keep her away from Ikkaku either, can I? But I'd appreciate it if you'd just listen and not make a big deal out of it right now, okay? It's really not about you. It's just life as a mother, you know, so get over it. We're still friends and I need a favor."
Kira's mouth was flying a mile a minute, spewing the pseudo-apology and request. Hisagi puzzled only briefly at his rattled friend, before his curiosity got the better of him. "Sure, Kira. What's up?"
"Please don't ask any questions. Go to Captain Hitsugaya and tell him I sent you. He'll have some large packages for you. Take them back to my office and whatever you do, don't let any one else see them. Okay?"
"Sure, what's in the packages?"
"The less you know the better."
Shuuhei shrugged. It wasn't like Kira to be so secretive, or so talkative, but he guessed that his friend had a good reason for the cloak and dagger.
"We're taking the squads into town today, so if you could do this for me before I get back, I'd really appreciate it. It's important, Shuuhei. My married life depends on it."
"Sure, Kira."
He shrugged, bewildered, as the blond ran back to his squads, barking orders as he went. "Ken-chan, you're slouching again and what did I tell you about wearing that tattered old haori? Yachiru, if you're going to chew gum, chew like a young lady, or it goes on your nose for the rest of the day. Ikkaku, did you use sunscreen on your head like I told you to?" He led his pack of men through the gates, a proud Kenpachi bringing up the rear, and out into the unsuspecting Rukongai.
Hisagi smiled and shook his head before moving to complete his errand. Who'd have believed that a mother for Yachiru would have tamed the eleventh?
Still chuckling over the change he had just witnessed, Hisagi knocked on the door to the tenth.
"Come in." Opening the door, he saw Captain Hitsugaya standing next to one of the tall shelves in his office, perusing a book. "Oh, good. You're just what I need, Hisagi. I need the fifth book from the right on the top shelf. I'd ask my lieutenant, but as you can see, she's taking her beauty nap … again … for all the good it does."
"Yes, sir." Hisagi glanced at the couch where a sleeping Rangiku was sprawled, then dutifully reached up and pulled the thick volume down from the shelf.
"Put it over there, will you?" The diminutive captain pointed toward his desk. "You wanted to see me about something?"
"Yes, sir," said Hisagi. "Kira sent me. He said you had a package for hi…" Faster than lightning, Hitsugaya flew to Hisagi, covering his mouth with his hand.
"Quiet, you fool! You never know who's listening!" He gave a pointed look in Rangiku's direction. "I have to make sure she's still asleep." The captain tiptoed over to the lounge where she slept and blew softly in her ear. "Oh, Rangiku," he cooed. "I have sake."
The woman shifted her massive chest, but settled back down into slumber. "Hmph, figures that she'd sleep the soundest when on duty." He folded his arms over his chest. "Why didn't Kira come himself?"
"He said he was taking his troops into town and he needed whatever you have for him by the time he comes back."
"I see. He goes through it fast," said Hitsugaya rubbing his chin. "He trusts you?"
"Yes, sir."
"Can I trust you?"
"Yes, sir." His response came with a little question mark at the end, as in an unspoken "trust me with what?"
The captain heaved a sigh. "Come on then, Hisagi. Let's get this over with."
He led Shuuhei into a back storage room full of large boxes filled with office supplies and extra uniforms. Shoving aside a phalanx of boxes marked with a sign that read "Orders for Matsumoto: sort these boxes!" in big red letters, the diminutive captain squeezed behind them into a small space that was only visible if the stacks were moved.
"Come back here and help me," he ordered.
Shuuhei eased himself into the space beside Hitsugaya. His eyes traveled around the alcove. Stacks of small packages and baskets were lined up next to each other, all arranged so that they were no higher than the walls of boxes surrounding them. In the middle stood a small cushioned chair with a book spread-eagled open on it. It looked like a small, cozy get-away that Matsumoto might have made, but the chair was obviously not designed for a woman her size.
He cocked his head in amusement. "Does Rangiku know about this, sir?"
"Matsumoto will never find it because she's too lazy to touch those boxes." A small tremor shook his shoulders as the captain sighed. "There are times when I need a short break, understood?"
Hisagi maintained a straight face. "Short break. Yes, sir. Understood."
"Are you purposely trying my patience, lieutenant?"
"No, sir."
"Good, then hold this," said the diminutive captain as he held out a large empty box marked Office Supplies. Without a word, the captain went to work, filling first one box, then two more, with every kind of candy imaginable, large and small, colorful and sickeningly sweet. Gummy bears and worms, black licorice butterflies, cream filled caramel hollows, taffy Chappies and marshmallow puffballs, sourballs with captains' faces on them, and stick candy in the shape of zanpakutou, enough sweets to keep Yachiru happy for at least a year. By the time he was finished, his stash of candy had gone down considerably, and three boxes were loaded to the brim with sweet treats.
Hisagi exited the alcove, his arms full. The three boxes were all a good size, and they, combined with two full baskets, were rather awkward to hold, but they settled into a manageable pile in his arms. He watched as Hitsugaya squeezed out of the small alcove and carefully rearranged the other boxes to conceal the alcove once again.
After a quick check to make sure his own lieutenant was still asleep, Hitsugaya led Hisagi back into the office and towards the door. Jerking it open and peering outside, he looked back over his shoulder. "I think it's clear. Now, go. Take those to Kira. Tell him if he needs more to come back tomorrow. Whatever you do, don't let Captain Ukitake see you. And Hisagi," the captain said quietly, glaring at the vice captain to convey the earnest threat behind his words, "if you mention a word of this, especially to Ukitake, I will deny it. Do you understand, Vice Captain Hisagi?"
Hisagi nodded, but couldn't help adding, "Understood, but I'm a little confused, sir. I thought you liked Captain Ukitake's gifts." He thought back on all of the catalogs he had delivered to the white haired man. If Hitsugaya's secreted stash was any indication, Ukitake must be ordering from the catalog several times a month.
The small captain gritted his teeth, his eyes glinting a cold ice fire within. "I. Prefer. Fresh. Fruit! FRESH! FRUIT!" Without further ceremony, he pushed Hisagi out the door and closed it roughly behind him.
Shuuhei stood on the porch, weighing the warnings from both Kira and Hitsugaya. It was clear to him why Captain Hitsugaya had warned him to avoid Captain Ukitake. The older man might not appreciate that his gifts to his Whitey-chan were being given away. If that was the case, then he would have to take a longer, more circuitous route to the third in order to avoid Captain Ukitake. It wouldn't pay to be caught now, especially after all of the warnings he had received.
But he still wanted to know why boxes of candy were so important to Kira's married life. It didn't make sense. Yachiru ate a lot of candy, but even she would have trouble with the amount he held in his arms. Puzzling it over in his mind, he started to take a step off the porch just as a loud shout emanated from inside the office of the tenth. "IN YOUR DREAMS, MATSUMOTO! I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT HAVE SAKE!"
