A/N: Thank You so much to all the Story Alerts! And of course to the lovely reviews from SamsSmiles247, person226, lilyplusjamesistotallove (luv the pen name!), and CJaMes12! I wasn't sure if I had replied to any of them to comment or just say thanks, so I'll just say a mass thank you to you guys right now =D

And a HUGE thank you to Accidentpronexx, Rethwallen, Spritely, person226 who fave storied this! You guys are the best!

If-Anything-Read-This: Ok, so down to business (if you could call it that) I'm reallyreally Sorry I haven't updated in a while but to make up for that I will post a third drabble by the latest Wednesday! So yeah, enjoy! R&R plz!

Oh yeah (last one, I promise =D): Let's just pretend they're on good terms with Mercia and Arthur has admitted to Merlin he likes Gwen.


Ale

It was just his luck. Really, it was.


He, Arthur, and seven other men had gone out to kill yet another magical beast. They had chased it over Mercia's border before Arthur, with Merlin's help of course, killed the creature.

The knights and Merlin had gone into the nearest town to buy rooms for the night and to drop off their horses and belongings. To celebrate, they and Arthur had all gone out to one of the many local taverns.


Merlin was enjoying himself and was glad to have a chance to relax, as were Arthur and his knights. Unfortunately, that feeling did not last long for Merlin.

He had noticed a man's unwavering stare towards Arthur, but pushed the suspicion aside and decided to simply keep an eye on the man. Several drinks later, Merlin couldn't help but respond to the nagging feeling that the man was not just a grumpy drunk who happened to recognize Arthur Pendragon.

Warily he wondered whether the man was either a Camelot-hating Mercian or another vengeful sorcerer. The man answered Merlin's unspoken question as he began to walk forward, eyes flashing gold to move chairs and littered tankards out of his way.

Merlin's eyes narrowed at the sight of the Mercian's lips moving. Quickly, Merlin mentally cast a protection shield over Arthur and his men and waited for the man to make his move.

Keeping up appearances, Merlin threw in a comment to the conversation and took another swig of whatever alcohol Arthur had placed in front of him. Feeling his shield shimmer, Merlin turned back and grinned in satisfaction at the confused look on the man's face.

The Mercian, however, only shook his head as if to clear it and regained the determined glint in his eyes. Sighing at how oblivious Arthur was to the remaining threat coming his way, Merlin tiredly racked his brain for a spell to get rid of the pesky sorcerer.

Picking a spell off the top of his head, Merlin groaned as he realized he had not yet mastered saying this certain one mentally. Trying to be as quiet as possible, Merlin whispered the words.

It did nothing and Merlin tried once again. Making a note that he really should practice his spells more often, Merlin tried a third time, slightly louder.

Merlin sat back in triumph as he watched a glazed look come over the Mercian and the man dazedly turned and stumbled out of the tavern. Merlin smiled at his handiwork. All he had done was twist a sleepwalking spell to allow Merlin to guide the man out the door.

Although Merlin had stopped his control on the Mercian, the man would sleepwalk 'til noon. Satisfied, if slightly amused, Merlin turned back to his drink before realizing Arthur was looking at him peculiarly.

The small smile promptly died as it dawned on Merlin that Arthur must have heard him say the spell the third time. Eyes widening in horror, Merlin waited for Arthur to speak.

"Merlin…"

"Yes, Arthur?" Merlin replied, grateful that his voice stayed steady.

"What did you just say?" asked Arthur, seemingly amused.

Well, he wouldn't be if he knew what I just said, thought Merlin. Suddenly however Merlin thought of the perfect excuse. "I said, 'Yes, Arthur'?"

"Merlin. I meant before that."

"Ohhh, I dunno"

"What do you mean you don't know?,"said Arthur incredulously.

"Heeheehee, I dunnno but you're turning reallyyy red. Kinda like, like, like a BERRY!" Merlin exclaimed, triumphant.

Arthur looked from Merlin to the five empty tankards in front of the young and turned back to Merlin, amused.

"I'll forgive you this time, Merlin as this is the first time I've seen you drunk and this will serve as excellent blackmail. Please, do carry on" smirked Arthur.

"I-I'm not", Merlin hiccupped, "drunk. I only had a fewww, silly boy."

Arthur only raised an eyebrow, "Of course you're not drunk Merlin, as for the 'silly boy' comment…well let's just say no matter how hung over you are tomorrow I think I'll hold a mace practice…And I'm sure my men would love to practice on a live dummy…"

"That's a funny word," giggled Merlin.

"What is?", asked Arthur warily.

"Men!" Merlin erupted in giggles, once more.

"Really, Merlin, just really?"

"UH-HUH," Merlin nodded his head vigorously, "look it rhymes with Ben, like the kitchen boy, you know?"

"No, not really, but please, carry on explaining how the word 'men' is so ridiculously funny."

"HeeHee ookkkaayy, well then there's Cen, oooh that should be Cenrid's nickname!"

"Surree, Merlin"

"Hmph fine then, anyways then there's den, haha Rawr! I'm a lion! Oooh have you seen Sir Darren's daughter? She looks like a lion too…."

"Merlin!" Laughing, Arthur continued, "Even when you're drunk, I can't let you insult a member of the court! Although…"

"Ha! You agree with me! Then there's..hmmm..Ohhh, heeheehee"

"Merlin…?"

"Then there's Gwennnnn…" started Merlin innocently.

"Merlin," warned Arthur.

"As her best friend, I could go on and on and on about Gwen, but I'm surrrree you could tell me much, much more about our dear little Gwennie," smiled Merlin, micheviously, suddenly thinking he quite liked acting drunk.

" I would hit you but fortunately for you, I do not make a habit of punching drunks."

Yes, yes, he loved acting drunk. Seeing just how far he could go, Merlin continued, " I bet you could tell us all sorts of things, such as…"

"Not. Another. Word," hissed Arthur.

"What?" Merlin looked up innocently, " as I was saying, I bet you could tell us what her favorite flower is and her favorite book and her favorite food and her favorite -"

"Merlin"

"Hmmmmm? Oh, look! You're turning into a berry again! Heeheehee"

"Merlin, I swear, I will ki –"

He was cut off as Merlin put a finger to Arthur's lips. Annoyed, Arthur momentarily forgot his anger and asked, "Merlin, what in he-"

He was again cut off with Merlin's exaggerated 'Shhhhh' followed by, "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what Merlin? We're in a tavern, for God's sakes. All you can hear is the clank of tankards, the scrape of chairs, and men yelling and laughing. Now I would appreciate it if you took your finger off of my mouth."

Merlin did as he was told, looking curiously at his finger as if he had never seen it before. After minutes of experimenting with his "new" limb, Arthur's curiosity won over his eye-rolling and asked Merlin why he had "shush"-ed him.

"Huh? Ohhh, I don't remember…"commented Merlin, sadly.

As Merlin did not seem to be bouncing back to his happy-go-lucky drunken state, Arthur felt a wave of guilt for bringing that up. Suddenly realizing this, Arthur shook himself and the feeling was forcefully waved away.

"I'm thirsty," stated Merlin, peering into the bottom of his tankard. He seemed to think if he put his head farther in, more ale might appear.

Pulling his friend back, Arthur chuckled, "You're so childish, Merlin. Besides, I think you've had more then enough to drink. I didn't even notice when you got that fourth one, let alone the fifth."

"Huh? Oh some ladies gave them to me…" Merlin trailed off, lost in his own mind.

"Yup. I am definitely not giving you anymore to drink. You are completely wasted if you expect me to believe that girls approached you."

Merlin started to protest saying they really did, even ask Sir Casend. Arthur did, and to his surprise the knight claimed it was true.

Covering, Arthur continued, "Well this situation is obvious, they meant the drinks for me."

Seeing Merlin raise an eyebrow (and wondering what happened to the previously giggly drunk), he defended himself saying, "What? They were most likely too shy, you know how girls get when around handsome blokes, well actually you wouldn't but I'm sure you've seen it at least, and anyways they probably thought they'd just set the drinks down near me and hope I notice them, but obviously I didn't, and you, being the idiot that you are, probably assumed they were for you and drank them; leaving us in a lose-lose situation, in which the girls will never get to talk to me and I them and I have just missed out on two perfectly good tankards of ale. So, as always, this is all your fault."

Sputtering, Merlin tried to form words, finally risking Arthur's anger with, "You mean you would have liked to meet them?"

"I suppose…What are you getting at Merlin?" asked Arthur suspiciously.

"So you mean to say you would rather meet those two girls then say go through with the perfect plan Gwen and I thought of to get you two alone about four hours of alone time..?"

"Merlin! I told you not to…whoa, whoa, whoa hang on, did you say four hours?"

Pleased at eluding being told off Merlin replied, "Yup!"

"Alone? With Gwen?"

"No, Arthur, with Gaius."

Arthur scowled, "No need to be sarcastic."

"Who's the childish one now, and anyway no need to thank me or anything!"

"Why would I thank you, you tricked me!"

"What! When?"

"Just now!"

"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about, Arthur."

"Hmph, well either way you said both you and Gwen came up with the plan, so I think I'll thank her instead."

"I'm sure you will," smirked Merlin.

"Shuddup, Merlin."


A half-hour later, seven knights, a prince, and a dangerously swaying manservant stumbled out the tavern's doors, all at varying stages and degrees of drunkenness.

With one last step, the manservant tumbled to the ground, landing in a fit of giggles.

Laughing a knight and the prince tugged the half-awake/aware man up.

Seeing that his manservant could not possibly walk the distance to the inn, the prince groaned and debated what to do. Not trusting himself to throw his friend across his shoulder, he resigned to carrying him bridal style.

His manservant tiredly opened his eyes half-way to see that he was indeed being carried.

"HeeHee I bet Gwennie would lovvvee to be in my spot right now."

"I thought you were going to sleep, Merlin."

"But this is so much more fun," said Merlin innocently.

"What, annoying me?"

Merlin nodded his head vigorously, smiling. "Yup!"

"You know Merlin you're like the little brother I never had nor wanted," mused Arthur.

"We're the same age…" pointed out Merlin.

"Oh, believe me, I know, everyday I ask myself how that's possible."

"Hey!"

"Oh shut up, Merlin"

"You are such a…a prat!"

"You do realize I'm the one carrying you, don't you? I could drop you at any time."

"But you wouldn't," sing-song-ed Merlin.

"Yes, yes, I would."

"Nuh-uh.

"Well then please enlighten me, Merlin, because I am pretty sure I could, and will, drop you any second now."

"You wouldn't 'cuz you looooove me," Merlin stretched out his arms, "you love me thissss much."

"Oh, God Merlin, is this really the time to tell me you have a crush on me? That's disgusting…"

"EwEwEwEw, no you clotpole! You were the one talking about brothers…"

"Oh, tha-"

"Hang on, YOU were the one to bring up crushes….Oh, Gwennie will not be pleased…"

"Merlin…"


Merlin decided he really should pretend to be drunk more often. It was quite fun. Besides, he got a free ride back to the inn…


A/N: Oopsie Daisies, almost forgot:

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or Maximum Ride.

Drunk Merlin was inspired by '2sweet2b4gtn'. =D (read her and 'cnt spel and idc' stories!)

"Sober girls…be actin' like they drunk" – Like a G6 (Far East Movement)