again i dont own it so dont sue me. thank you to everyone who reviewed and an especial thanks to FruitCase (so this is her story also). who has really helped me out. Love ya all!

I have to forget about them, Rogue thought, thinking of
the X Men, her friends. I know I have to help them with Apocalypse,
but I can't do it with them. The only way I can is if I stay away.

The train station was busy today; people strode across the platforms on their
mobile phones, men in suits jogged as they glimpsed at their watches: everyone
seemed to be in a hurry to get somewhere, whilst she was in a hurry to get
away.

Rogue stood behind a man who was talking to the ticket assistant. They were
arguing over something though she didn't care to listen. She watched as a
train stopped at platform B, the announcement resounding throughout the
station.

I wonder if anyone's noticed I've gone yet, she wondered.
Will they even bother to come after me? She frowned.
Probably not. They all blame me. And I don't blame
them.

The man in front of her swore and then stomped away from the ticket booth.

"Hurry, lady, I ain't got all day," the ticket assistant said. Rogue bit her
lip; she didn't want to be too discourteous to him since he was selling the
tickets. She couldn't help but study the man: he had long slimy hair that fell
down his shirt, almost like a waterfall of grease. She tried not to stare at
his chin which was specked with crumbs and smudges of chocolate, or at the
stains on his uniform. She briefly wondered how he could fit into the little
ticket cubicle he was sat it, what with his beer gut hanging out, marks
appearing where the skin had stretch. She swallowed the disgust that rose in
her throat.

"Wanna take a picture, sweetheart?" he grumbled.

No thank you,she thought.
She stepped forward and placed her bag on the floor.

"I'd like a ticket south, please."

"Farthest south this line runs is Mississippi. Leaves in thirty minutes.

"Great. I'll take that please."

"Do you know how these things work, hunny?'

If he calls me a pet name one more time I swear I'll punch him into
next week,

"You give me my ticket and I walk away happily while you carry on your
exciting job?" I said.

He narrowed his eyes. "I don't like brats with an attitude."

"I don't like ticket guys who don't give me my tickets."

"I need yeh money first."

"Good thing I've got some then."

They exchanged the money and the ticket in silence and she left him alone to
grumble.

As she waited for the train to come, she wondered, is anyone missing me at
all? Despite convincing herself she was guilty of the Professor and Storm's
death, despite Jean and Scott insisting it was her fault, she wanted them to
miss her. She had been a part of their family after all. Even Jean who she
disliked the most was her friend in a way. Or at least her family – the
cousin she didn't like.

I'll find a way, she thought, clenching her hands.

I'll find a way to bring them back. I don't know how, but I will. I
won't leave the X Men to fight this alone. Even if it means I have to stay far
away.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Striding down the stairs Scott's worries rose. How could Rogue just run away
like that? Wasn't she supposed to be a part of the team? Didn't she realise
that Jean was just angry and hadn't meant what she said? Sure, the situation
could have been handled better, but he and Jean had known the Professor all
their lives practically. They loved him like a father. They couldn't fight
Apocalypse, so the only person they could take their grief out on was Rogue.
It was childish of us, thought Scott, but they
were words with no meaning, not from the heart.

As he reached the bottom of the stairs, Logan was stood there, his face stern
as always. No one seemed to smile anymore, not now Apocalypse was in the world
once more.

"We really don't need this," Scott said. "We need to stick together. We can't
just run after Rogue."

"Kinda funny hearing you say that when you're the one who made her leave,
One-Eye."

Scott looked to the floor.

"Here." Logan tossed something that jangled.

Scott caught it and looked at it. "Car keys? Where are you going?"

"Correction: we."

"Where are we going?"

"We are going to find Rogue."

"And I'm going to help."

Both men turned to find Jean coming towards them, her red hair bouncing.

"So you can torture her more?" asked Logan.

She frowned. "I ... I don't know what came over me. One minute the Professor
was with us, the next he and Storm ... they ..." She held back a cry. "They're
dead, and I could only blame Rogue. I shouldn't have. I know that. But I want
to help you find her. I want to gain her forgiveness."

Scott watched Logan stare at her with intenseness in his eyes.

"Fine," Logan said, turning away and walking towards the garage.

Scott exchanged a look with her.

"I am sorry," she said.

He nodded. "I know."

He took her hand and they followed Logan.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Rogue watched as the scenery zoomed by her. She had plugged her i Pod
headphones in her ears; her music always soothed her.

How can that music make you smile like that when it sounds so
depressing? Kitty had once asked, laughing.

Kitty.

She'd probably miss her room-mate the most.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.