A/N: Hey guys, the second chapter is here(finally) I hope you like it :D
I haven't proof read it so there a may be a couple of mistakes...

Merlin ran.

He was exhausted, so exhausted that he could hear his heart beating in his head, but he still ran.

A tree branch whipped his sweaty face as he ran through the forest.

He was running for many reasons.

One reason was of course to reach Camelot, and Arthur.

But that was not the main reason.

He was scared, of himself at this very moment.

Words that had never even touched his head now flowed through it, like a stone has just slipped out of place and now all the water gushed out into the open.

"I'll never be like her,"

"You do everything for him right? And what does he call you? An idiot, am I right?"

"He'll never change, he'll never say thank you or even I'm sorry."

"If you move, I'll kill you."

"Goodbye Lucas."

Merlin could still see Lucas lying dead in the grass, and it made him feel sick, but at the same time somewhere deep down inside of him he felt satisfied.

Without warning he saw a cliff in front of him and skidded to a stop.

"What's wrong with me?" Merlin whispered angrily to himself.

...

By the time Merlin reached Camelot, the

sun was slowly setting, Merlin had calmed down slightly, just enough to put on a brave face when he entered his own chamber's.

"Gaius?" Merlin called out, he was a bit shocked to see Gaius sitting down reading a book when he should be tending to Arthur.

"Where's Arthur?"

"In your room," He said looking over his glasses.

"In my room? Why is he in my room?"

"He's sleeping," Gaius said. He saw Merlin's confusion and laughed. "You didn't think I could carry him to his chamber's all by myself?"

"Why didn't you get help?" Merlin asked. Gaius grew silent.

"Because then the king would find out and have the guards look for the man who tried to kill him."

Merlin felt panic rise within him. Gaius didn't know what had happened, did he?

"I believe the guards would find the man to easily, lying dead where you left him."

Merlin felt sick, it was bad enough that he had murdered the man, but now that Gaius knew, he didn't know what to do.

"Gaius I can explain-

"Merlin, I understand. You were angry." Gaius walked over to Merlin and hugged him. "Don't do it again."

"I have to see Arthur," Merlin said as he took a step back. "That's why I killed the man, I did it for him."

Merlin walked to his door, not even turning back to look at Gaius, he was too ashamed. His hands started to shake as he turned the handle, he was afraid Arthur might have been dead. He opened the door.

"Ah Merlin," Arthur said sitting up in Merlin's bed, you finally decided to pop in."

Merlin shut the door behind him.

"How are you?"

"I've been better," Arthur said with a laughed. "It's a good thing the sword didn't go in properly."

Merlin was quiet.

"Come on Merlin, I don't like it when you're quiet, it bugs me."

"I'm glad you're ok," Merlin said as he turned to leave.

"So what happened to the man who stabbed me?" Arthur asked. Merlin turned back around.

"He got away."

"Well what did he look like." Arthur asked.

"I don't know,"

"What? You must have seen something?"

"I didn't see anything, ok!" Merlin exclaimed.

"Alright Merlin, no need to hold a fit,"

Merlin put his hand on the handle of the door.

"You're such an idiot Merlin."

Merlin had opened the door slightly however when Arthur spoke he slammed it shut. Arthur flinched.

"What did you say?" Merlin said angrily.

"I said you're an idiot," Arthur said. "So, I say it all the time-

"It hurts you know! Everytime you call me idiot or stupid-when infact that's what you are, you're so dumb Arthur!"

"Merlin!" Arthur exclaimed however Merlin was already out the door. He stopped when he reached Gaius but only for a moment.

"Everything I do is for him and he just thinks I'm an idiot."

He ran out the door and straight into Gwen.

"Merlin?" She exclaimed. "Are you alright?"

Merlin ignored her and kept running, and running.

But no matter how fast he ran he couldn't escape his feelings.

Bad feelings.

He stopped running only when he reached a small dusty well that looked like no one had touched it in years and sat down on the edge of it.

He felt a tear form in his eye and before he knew it he was sobbing madly. He placed his hands over his face trying to stop but he just couldn't. He knew it was better to feel sad than angry.

He knew what he might do if he was angry.

"Why is this happening to me," he whispered to himself as he turned around to reach the water from the well.

He felt like he was going to faint so he made a basket with his hands and swooped up some of the clear liquid.

His lips touched it before gulping down the mouthful. He was calming down.

When he leant to get some more water he saw his reflection.

He looked normal, just a lowly servant, a nobody who would die a nobody, and who would he die for?

Arthur.

Was that fair? For him to be treated as nothing and then discarded?

Merlin felt a deep rage again however his thoughts were interrupted by a voice.

"Merlin?"

He turned around only to see Gwen.

"Go away." He said however she walked over to him.

"What's wrong Merlin?" She said as she observed him. She could tell he had been crying.

"Go away." He said again as he burried his head into his hands, trying to hide the tears that were starting again.

"Merlin," she said kindly as she tried to put her arm around him.

"I said go away!" He said as he pushed her over.

Gwen didn't move. She was so shocked that Merlin had knocked her to the floor.

"How can you love Arthur! He is a monster who will use you and throw you away, he will hurt you!" Merlin exclaimed.

"Merlin!" Gwen exclaimed. "What's wrong with you? Arthur-

"Thinks he powerful because he the kings son, but he is really just an idiot. He thinks I'm weak, you think I'm weak don't you? That's why you're so shocked?"

"No," Gwen said. "I'm shocked because this isn't like you, Arthur and I, we are your friends-

"Are you really? The last time I check friends didn't use you and toss you away! Arthur-

"Merlin stop!" Gwen cut him off. "What has Arthur done to make you so upset!"

Merlin crouched down near Gwen.

"He made me realize who I am, and what I was willing to do for him."

He stood up again before storming off to the castle.

...

Merlin tossed in his bed. Remembering the day made him feel sick again. He didn't know what on earth he was thinking. He just wanted to rewind everything, back to when everything was normal. It almost seemed like his happy, normal life was a dream that was slowly fading as he was waking up, into the cold dark night.

"I'll never be like her,"