A/N: Thank you for your reviews of the first chapter, I'm glad the warnings were appreciated as I know many people neglect them and don't realise the importance of such notices.
Anyway, this chapter shouldn't be as dark and depressing as the first but it still basically follows the same theme set out by the song.
Enjoy!
Age Twelve
Age twelve and it isn't going well
Now it's three years to the day.
Three years had passed since Kiba's dad had left.
Three years had passed since the abuse began.
Three years had passed since the abuse ended.
But things weren't going well.
Kiba Inuzuka had matured at a far quicker rate than his peers as a result of his experiences. He had no choice but to adapt to his now broken life. A twelve year old boy forced to adapt to a life without parental love, sympathy, help or support. And it was so, so painful. But that pain had to stay deep down inside.
Maturity meant possessing the ability to hide one's emotions in order to make it through the day.
That is what Kiba believed.
Every fake smile, forced laugh, feigned innocence- it all allowed him to seem just like others his age. But deep down he was different. His friends, who once filled his life with such joy, baffled him. Their immaturity and childishness stunk. Their innocence reeked with such a foul stench that Kiba could hardly resist snapping at them. What did they think the world was? A paradise? A nice place? How stupid could they be? But stupidity had its benefits. Kiba could tell, with his acquired skill of reading others, that when they smiled- it was genuine. That when they laughed- it was honest. That when they expressed innocence…it was because they still had theirs. Not like him.
And those thoughts tormented the poor boy every day and night. Knowing that he was the one chosen to suffer the abuse he had and not them…it tore him to shreds inside until there was nothing left. What had he done wrong? Why did he deserve it and not these…stupid children? What had Kiba Inuzuka done that was so terrible? What was the reason for his suffering?
What really pained him was knowing that there were no answers to those questions. He knew there was no meaning behind it. He knew it wasn't part of some 'grand scheme'. Things happen without meaning. The human mind just can't comprehend that. People always have to seek out patterns and reasons where they simply don't exist. But Kiba was smarter than that. He was abused simply because his father acted on a whim. That was all. That was the truth. There was nothing more for him to ponder or think about. And now he had to deal with daily life, like a man wrongly banished to hell.
Confused, but unlike you
This feeling won't go away.
He couldn't quite work out if things were better or worse now that his father had gone. That sounds very odd- someone wondering if life is worse after their abuse has stopped- but it was true. At least, during those cold nights when his father's evil touch set his innocent skin ablaze, his fear and sadness made sense. But here he was, his dad nowhere in sight, still trembling in his bed at night- almost waiting for the man's looming figure to wander in through the doorway. Closing his eyes at night hurt. The thought of a curious hand wandering down his body to his own personal parts as he slept peacefully was enough to force himself to stay awake for days on end until he just couldn't take anymore. He would often collapse from exhaustion and then wake up with the horrible feeling of remorse for being so careless.
Mom was dating again. She often had her boyfriend overnight to help her through her own 'troubles'. That only made things worse. Every time the new man would get up and walk past his door to get to the bathroom, Kiba would panic. What if he happened to look in and the sight of Kiba's body sent the same cruel spark through his mind as it did his dad's? What if the abuse returned? What if the abuser wasn't the one to blame, but Kiba himself? Was there something wrong with him which would tempt these grown men to use them that way? How did he stop that from happening? Was there a way?
His pillow was the only one who comforted him. Over the years it had soaked up many of his tears, until he was no longer able to cry, and had always silently endured his tight embraces with no complaint. But it was just a pillow…nothing more and that fact couldn't be ignored. There was no one to help Kiba overcome this awful feeling.
Sixteen and the woman down the street
Has invited him to come inside.
Her name was Ino.
A pretty blonde cheerleader from Kiba's school who every horny young man lusted after. Indeed, she was attractive, no one could deny that. Not even the emotionally numb Kiba could look her over without appreciation.
They had been dating for a while now- just casually. With Kiba acting as the school's top athlete and Ino filling the role of hottest cheerleader, it was simply expected for them to hook up sooner or later. Even though the Inuzuka teen found it disgustingly cliché, he lived in hope that a steady relationship with such a beautiful woman would help him conquer his own broken mind.
So they became an item- the envy of the entire school.
The guys were insanely jealous of Kiba for 'bagging' Ino.
And the girls were bitter towards Ino for 'snatching up' Kiba.
On the outside, it seemed like the perfect relationship. Hell, on the inside it did too. Poor Ino thought that their relationship was glorious- meaningful, full of pure feeling and exciting. For Kiba, it was dull. A part of him enjoyed their jokes, banter, dates and time together but, like most situations in his life, the emotions were simply coldly chosen and applied to each situation to please his girlfriend.
He would laugh despite wanting to remain blank.
He would smile lovingly despite wanting to remain blank.
He would get embarrassed despite wanting to remain blank.
It was all the same, day in and day out.
That was until they reached their six-month-anniversary.
Kiba walked her home after their date and prepared to kiss her goodnight, when she interrupted him and invited him in. And at that moment, he knew. He knew what was going to happen.
Throughout the course of their relationship there had been kissing, groping and grinding. Ino had whispered lustful compliments of Kiba's body and cock and he had uttered back similar things. But sex was one thing that seemed in the distant future…until that night.
Despite the urge to run, Kiba gulped down the feeling of dread and forced a cocky smirk onto his face. That had been a terrible mistake.
The first time it didn't feel right
It'll be the last time he tries.
He had gone through with it.
He had imitated moans and groans and other noises of pleasure he had heard come from his father's lips and scrunched up his face in the same way too…all to fool Ino into thinking he was enjoying it. She was a nice girl; he didn't want to hurt her feelings. She had the time of her life, while he merely got it over with.
Once Ino was done, Kiba pretended to reach orgasm and quickly discarded of the empty condom before she could see it. He then fell beside her, pretending to be exhausted and kissed her lovingly- telling her how wonderful it had been. But it was all a lie. Nothing about it had felt right. Her body, the noises she made- it was all so wrong. She was attractive beyond belief…but Kiba wasn't aroused by her. Not even when she murmured comments on how big he was and how good it had felt in that female voice of hers. It wasn't right. He felt the pan of guilt for using her and lying to her. They had gotten too close and now he felt terrible for what he had done. He had no choice.
The next day, Kiba ended the relationship.
What else could he do? Keep lying to her? Continue feigning pleasure and orgasms? Treat her like a tool? No, he couldn't.
Of course, Ino could never know the truth. So he lied to her one last time.
She had been his best friend, the one who eased his pain slightly, but he had no choice but to make her hate him. He watched as she sobbed and cried, accusing him of only being with her for the sex and then ditching her once he got it. If only she knew…
He returned to school, earning scowls from the girls and high-fives from the guys. Those immature boys thought it was hilarious and the marks of a 'true lad'- just 'typical Kiba' as they put it. And he had to just grin that damn, fake grin of his and go along with it.
Ino never spoke to him again, but her looks of hatred cut him deep every single time.
He missed her but he knew things couldn't go on. He could never get close to a girl again. He could never go through that again.
Don't say nothing's wrong.
I won't say nothing's wrong.
After all he went through with Ino; he knew he couldn't keep lying for the rest of his life. He needed to talk to someone, to get help. That's what drove him to travel to a specialist counsellor who dealt specifically with child abuse and trauma. His determination to change his life was stronger than any feeling he had felt before, perhaps even stronger than the pain itself. That had to mean something, right?
No one knew of course. He had given up trying to talk to his mother now. With her, he put on the same cocky attitude as the one he displayed at school- it made her happy- and his sister was still oblivious to the truth. His 'friends' could never know and Ino wouldn't go near him anymore. So he was in it alone, which didn't seem too bad anymore…
…
Until he was in the waiting room. He'd accidentally turned up a half hour before his appointment, leaving him to sit in the small room alone to deal with the sickly feeling in his stomach. Here he was, a sixteen year old guy, battling down the urge to chicken out.
That was, until another boy came wandering in to join him.
Except this boy…really was a boy. Nine or ten years old- if Kiba had to guess. His sudden entry took him by surprise…not to mention the fact he so confidentially sat in the chair directly next to the teen's, despite there being a whole room of empty seats available.
There was something about him…something Kiba couldn't put his finger on.
His blonde hair was sort of reminiscent of Ino's, though it was cut into short spikes and framing a boyish face and those eyes…the kid's oceanic eyes were far deeper and more captivating than Ino's. Almost as though they held more meaning. There really was something about them…something which suggested the boy might understand…
"I'm Naruto." The kid said, smiling broadly. That's when it hit him. The two of them had the same fake, put on smile. Kiba was in shock as he stared at it. After hours spent in front of a mirror, practising his own smile, the teen was instantly able to recognise it. The smile that hid the pain. Naruto was like him.
"Kiba." He offered, not bothering to smile back. What was the point in faking it this time? The kid would only notice it wasn't genuine anyway. And, as if reading his mind, Naruto's smile dropped immediately.
"The guy here is kinda annoying and the first session is always the worst so you might wanna prepare yourself for that." The boy said, still acting friendly but without the fakery.
"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind."
"How old are you?" Naruto blurted out suddenly, staring up at him.
"Sixteen. Why?" Kiba asked, cocking an eyebrow curiously.
Curiosity vanished immediately, pushed aside by horror and shock as he was suddenly embraced by two tiny arms. He had received hugs before- from Ino, his friends, his mom, etc.- but for some reason, this random boy's pathetically weak and gentle one was more meaningful than all of them.
"Sorry it's been that long." He muttered in that childish voice, sending shivers down Kiba's spine, before pulling away. "Hope it all gets better." And, with that, a genuine smile appeared on that boyish face. Someone like him, who had suffered in silence, was still able to smile like that. Perhaps he was still in shock, but Kiba found himself smiling back for a moment before he was called in for his appointment…
…
Naruto was right, the first session was hell and when Kiba left, the boy was nowhere to be seen.
Doubting he would ever see the marvellous kid again, Kiba simply left with the knowledge that he was still capable of a real smile…that not everything was broken yet…
A/N: There was chapter two, featuring Naruto's short debut. Hope you all liked this chapter too.
Let me know your thoughts via your amazing reviews.
