thank you so much for all your amazing reviews my people. I know its taken me ages to update but I had to get the ending of this chappie perfect,a dn my computer deleted my original draft :. Also, Serenity Shadowstar asked me to do something, so I'm going to tell you guys what I said to the plea to make sure this story has a happy ending- Eventually!

Disclaimer: You know what, I dont Own NADA!

She wasn't shy to say that she wasn't a very nice woman. Her favourite occupation appeared to be breaking hearts and tearing lives apart. Ever since Jace Herondale had thrown her heart bad at her like an old rag that was no use anymore. Her love was like a wet blanket to him- something that once had use for comfort and warmth, but now simply froze you outside in and had no real purpose only to make you sick.

She'd changed since then.

Jace didn't matter to her anymore, because he didn't deserve her. His male prostitute ways didn't bother her because she was five times better than him, or at least, she was.

Now, she was no better than him, really.

The first heart she'd broken had been her best friends, Simon. She went out with him once, had a good time and kicked him to the curb like yesterday's news. He was clingy, irritating and generally the worst friend ever. Isabelle understood. Isabelle was a man eater, ten times worse than her. She had a different boy toy for every night of the week, and none of them knew about the others. And when she got tired of them, she would just abandon them in the harshest possible way, refusing to talk to them, or interact with them in any way.

Not that Izzy cared.

No, she just told them when the end arrived, just telling them that their time had come and a clean break (cutting off all contact) was the best way forward. She moved on as quick as it took her to get bored of a guy, and yet due to her superstar status there was no shortage of guys who were willing to have a go.

Ever since Jace had played in that stupid music video she couldn't stop thinking about him though. His hands, the way they flitted across the piano keys as he played. His eyes, the way the gold smouldered as he looked at her across the top of the music. The way his hair was neatly cropped and styled perfectly. The way his shoulder felt just the right shape and texture under her head when she rested it there. Anyone would think she was in love with the guy.

But she wasn't, obviously.

If there was one thing Clarissa Morgenstern wasn't, it was in love with the guy who changed her from pretty innocent geek to the motorcycle bad girl she was now.

She hadn't been surprised when Jace landed his modelling contract, especially when he started appearing as the pin up for Abercrombie and Fitch. Jace was the golden boy in the eyes of the world, and she was the girl who paraded around in leathers under bright stage lights and with a microphone in her hand.

That was her life. She loved it, the fame, the glory, and the way that people actually respected her for once. It was addictive; the feeling that people actually recognised her existence on the earth. It made her forget the way people had treated her before.

She tossed her red hair back over her shoulder and pulled on her night black helmet and swung a leather clad leg over her motorbike. The engine roared underneath her, and she grinned, kicking off the break and pulling out onto the road. She knew where she was going but that didn't stop the rush of adrenaline from the unknown, the feeling that the road could do anything at any time, that it took one wrong move from another driver and a simple ride would turn into something way more interesting.

The New York streets flew past her in a blur as she sped along them, watching people as they went about their everyday lives. She eventually made it to her destination- an underground parking garage where the lights were so dim no one ever recognised her.

She always climbed the stairs up to Izzy's apartment to avoid the general population who knew better than to use a staircase in a New York apartment building with a lift. She had her own set of keys to let her in the door, but Izzy had started to put the security chain across when she was home, so Clary lightly bashed her fist against the door.

The chain rattled and a girl with dark hair and icy blue eyes opened the door. Izzy was wearing her favourite venomous red lipstick and a pair of killer queen heels that fully placed her in the class of Female Dominatrix. The dark red eye shadow made her eyes jump out and matched the huge ruby that always hung around her throat. Izzy said it was like her security blanket- that it warned her when danger was near.

However, the danger vibe Izzy emitted soon dispersed when she saw it was Clary at the door.

"Come on in Chica!" she said brightly, and Clary did just that.


Clarissa. God, if Jace had known she would become so famous he would never had left her in the first place. Finding anyone vaguely famous to go out with was difficult at best. At the moment, he'd just managed to land rising pop star Kaelie Sparkles for a date, at the very least. It was a hard ask, but with a body like his and a career that many a male model would die for, Jace could sleep safe and sound knowing that there was no man in the world who had a greater life than him.

Except he couldn't stop wondering what would have happened if he hadn't of been rejected by Clarissa (especially when Izzy had blabbered to Alec that Clarissa was in love with him). Would she have continued being one of the nerds of the school, hanging out with Simon Lewis and his wannabe band (who were no so well known that they appeared at least once every hour on Kerrang) and painting in her free time? Or would she have naturally progressed from Geek to superstar, and had her hate for him only brought about that change a little sooner? All he knew was that she was better off than him now, rather than the other way around.

The radio crackled into life as he got into his car.

"Here's the brand new chart topping hit from Clarissa Morgenstern, I want to be loved!"

I had a roof over head
Had shoes on my feet
Yeah sure I was fed
But no one was there when I was in need... yeah

Jace stopped what he was doing, wondering what had turned Clarissa from her usual song writing to something so… different. The lyrics had something more behind them, something real. Something that felt and hurt and loved all at the same time. Something more like the Clarissa he broke. Something more like the way she used to paint before they really met.

So who am I now?
Who do you want me to be?
I can forgive you but I won't relive you
I ain't the same scared kid I use to be

That was true. She was nothing like she used to be, nothing like the shy little girl who cried when the bullies turned on her, one of the social outcasts, one the elite few that didn't cling onto the power of popularity.

I'm gonna live, I'm gonna survive
Don't want the world to pass me by
I'm gonna dream, I ain't gonna die thinking my life was just a lie
I want to be loved
I want to be loved

He realised what she was singing about then. She was telling the world that she was over him, that he didn't matter to her anymore and that she was long gone and moved on.

I found a picture, our so called family tree... yeah
I broke all the branches looking for answers
Don't you know that it ain't how it supposed to be

A reference to the broken family shed experienced as she grew up. Her father was very one minded, very political and all about preserving bloodlines and against cross breeding of different races. He saw a black man and a white woman to be unnatural, disgusting. Clarissa's mother on the other hand was very different. She was an artist, someone who saw beauty and love even in the darkest parts of the world. She threw Clarissa's dad out just after she got pregnant with her second child, Clarissa, and he took their first child, Jonathon with him.

They returned when Clarissa turned sixteen, and basically ruined her idyllic life. By the time they finally moved on, she'd firmly turned to Izzy for friendship and guidance, and then just when her life was starting to get back on track, he'd ripped her heart out.

I'm gonna live, I'm gonna survive
Don't want the world to pass me by
I'm gonna dream, I ain't gonna die thinking my life was just a lie
I wanna give, I'm ready to try, willing to lay it on the line
I want to be loved
I want to be!

I ain't gonna cry, I don't want to scream
But I got so much left unsaid inside of me
I'm gonna live, I'm gonna survive
Don't want the world to pass me by
I'm gonna dream, I ain't gonna die thinking my life was just a lie
I wanna give, I'm ready to try, willing to lay it on the line
I want to be loved
I want to be loved
I just want to be loved
I want to be loved
I want to be loved

Jace turned the key and listened to the rumble of the engine. He took a deep breath and flicked on the indicator, slipping the car into gear and pulling out onto the road. One touch of the accelerator and he was on his way. The window was open with the stereo turned up so loud that he couldn't even hear his own thoughts, which was precisely what he wanted. The road was almost empty, and only the occasional car turned the corner at the junction.

He gently pushed the accelerator, and pulled away from the pavement.


Clary zipped up the front of her leather jacket and grabbed her helmet off the leather seat of her motorcycle. She leant forward and tucked her long red hair into her helmet. Swinging one leather clad leg over her steel horse. The stiff leather creaked slightly, but she didn't really notice. She was too caught up in making sure that the bike was ready to go.

Kicking the engine to start, she kicked up the stand and pulled away from the side of the tarmac, checking over her shoulder as she joined the quiet road. Even over the roar of the engine and through her helmet she could hear the pounding of bass from a nearby car. She couldn't see the vehicle, but she could hear it.

Perhaps it was because she was focusing on the music, because the bass drowned out her thoughts, especially those of Jace. Perhaps it was because the road was almost devoid of any life. Perhaps it was because she just wasn't paying attention to the world around her.

The car hit her side on, pushing her across to the other side of the road with a screech of metal and a sudden hiss of air escaping from shocked lungs. Her head cracked against the pavement edge, causing the world to spin, and pain in her lower body was almost intolerable. She blacked out.


Jace was quite happy to cruise behind the motorcycle- after all, it wasn't doing him any harm, and the rider, a woman from her shape, had an excellent ass. But nothing could prepare him for the collision that occurred in front of him.

The woman was shoved, still on the bike until her head hit the opposite pavement, leaving a crack and a large dent in her helmet. The bike twisted and tangled in her legs, and fell on top of the one which didn't meet the car which threw her off. The driver, perhaps in a fit of panic hit reverse, speeding off, leaving a horrified Jace to leap from his car, looking back in the direction of the hit and run driver long enough to memorise the plate, before rushing to the aid of the rider.

She wasn't moving, and Jace feared the worst as he approached her still form.

And then he got a greater shock.

There was only one person he had ever known who had red hair the colour of the strand that was protruding from underneath the rider's helmet.

Clarissa.

dun dun duh! Cliffie!

Lyrics belong to the amazing (insert name here)! cyber cookies for anyone who gets it right!

Ciao

Bow Wow!

Vikki ;)~