Kratos/Parappa
"Man, this hero training is hard!" Parappa exclaimed. "I wonder how I can become a better hero." He thought outloud. "I'll probably need a costume and a cool name! What else…?"
Suddenly, he spotted Kratos, who was ominously walking toward him.
Parappa snapped his fingers.
"That's it! I need to get buff!" He exclaimed. "Excuse me, sir?" He asked Kratos.
"What are you?" Kratos asked, in his usually tone.
"I was wondering if you wanted to become my personal trainer!" Parappa exclaimed. "I want to become a hero, but the way I am now…" He tried to flex an arm, but it cartoonishly deflated. "Just...tell me how you got into such good shape!"
Kratos glared at the dog. "You wish to undergo Spartan training?"
"If that's how you got so buff!" Parappa responded.
Kratos drew his blades. "Very well. It is your life to lose!"
Kratos/Fat Princess
"I can feel myself growing stronger." Kratos thought to himself. "Even now, I can feel the Gods of Olympus tremble at the thought of my growing power. And they very well should! They sit up on their mountain, taking from the people! It's about time someone put a stop to their greed!"
"Halt!" A girlish voice exclaimed.
"Nobody tells me what to do!" Kratos exclaimed, pulling out his baldes. He looked at the plump girl in front of him. "Ah. The personification of Olympus's gluttony."
"Surrender all of your cake!" The princess exclaimed, as her soldiers pointed their weapons at Kratos.
"I think not!" Kratos exclaimed.
Kartos/Radec
"All of these weaklings fall to my strength." Radec mused to himself. "Truly, people will remember me in ages to come at the god of war!"
Suddenly, a blade came flying past his head. Radec turned around, deflected the blade with his combat knife, and pulled out his rifle.
"You claim to be the God of War?" Kratos asked. "You do not know the power of a god."
"And who are you to claim otherwise?" Radec asked.
"I was the God of War!" Kratos exclaimed.
"Was?" Radec asked, then chuckled. "I suppose that means there's an opening. And the best way the fill that opening is to kill the former!"
Kratos/Sly
"I can feel the power now." Kratos said. "It's getting closer. I cannot allow anything to distract me."
"Pardon me, big guy." Sly said. Kratos roared, swinging a blade at the thief, who easily dodged it.
"Who dares sneak up on the Ghost of Sparta?" Kratos exclaimed.
"Easy there, pal!" Sly said, readying his cane. "I was just wondering if you happened to have any missing pages in the skirt of yours. Pages that you might have stolen from a master thief."
"I am no petty thief." Kratos said. "Unlike some of us."
"Oh, I gathered." Sly commented. "I know guys bigger than you that are better thieves."
"I have other skills." Kratos replied, readying his weapons.
Kratos/Nate
"Ok then…" Nate said, looking in his notebook. "Says here that there's a guardian to whatever this thing is. Claims to be a god." He looked up, seeing Kratos. "Hey! Big guy! You a god?"
"...Are you mocking me, puny man?" Kratos growled, glaring at Nate.
"Not intentionally." Nate replied. "Although people have told me that I am a bit of a professional douche."
"...I don't like you." Kratos said, drawing his blades.
"Feeling's mutual, Baldy." Nate replied.
Kratos/Cole
"All of these people are powerful." Cole thought to himself. "However, I have yet to find anybody to join my cause." He examined a ball of electricity in his hand.
Suddenly, a blade came flying toward him, he managed to jump back, dodging the blade. He looked up at the thrower.
"Are you a follower of Zeus?" Kratos exclaimed. "Or, perhaps, knowing his lustful ways, a spawn?"
"I remember learning about Zeus in school. He was really weird" Cole said, electricity running along his arms. "However, nobody ever mentioned an angry, bald tattooed man in the books."
"I seek no place in history." Kratos said, readying his blades. "I only seek to destroy those who stand against me!"
Kratos/Evil Cole
"Well, aren't you a piece of work." Cole said, looking Kratos up and down.
"You reek of immoral power." Kratos said, glaring at Cole.
"You're one to talk." Cole grinned. "Lets just say I know the smell of burnt flesh when I smell it, and I don't think it's yours."
"You...bug!" Kratos exclaimed, swinging his blades at Cole, who dodged them and laughed.
"Now things get interesting!" Cole exclaimed. "Let's see how quickly I can make you run crying home to your daddy!"
Kratos/Ratchet and Clank
"Hey, Clank?" Ratchet asked his robotic friend.
"Yes, Ratchet?" Clank replied.
"Do you think I'm too dangerous?" Ratchet asked.
"Ratchet," Clank said. "If you weren't dangerous, we would have died a long time ago."
"Right." Ratchet said, reassured. "Besides, I just have to use my skills against dangerous people." He saw Kratos. "Like that guy."
"You hide behind machines and weapons?" Kratos growled.
"First off, Clank is my friend!" Ratchet exclaimed. "Also, you have a pretty big armory, too."
"I pulled every weapon a wield off of my opponents." Kratos said. "You simply bought them."
"Well, let me show you my moneymaker!" Ratchet brandished his wrench.
Kratos/Jak and Daxter
"Well, well, well." Daxter said. "Look at big, dumb, and bald here!" He gestured at Kratos.
"You dare speak to me, rat?" Kratos exclaimed. He threw a blade at Jak, who dodged it.
"Sheesh!" Daxter exclaimed. "And I thought you had anger issues, Jak!"
Jak glared at Daxter. "I'm not looking for a fight. "Jak said, pulling out his weapon. "But if you insist, I'll enjoy it."
"Heh." Kratos laughed to himself, readying for combat. "I can see the fire of a spartan in you. In another life I suppose."
"...What's with you and bonding with big, brooding guys, Jak?" Daxter asked his friend.
"I never got an opportunity to fight Damas." Jak said.
"Daddy issues!" Daxter exclaimed. "Fight!"
Kratos/Big Daddy
The Little Sister ran up to Kratos.
"Do you want to play with me, sir?" She asked.
Kratos looked down at the child. He cupped her cheek.
"Who did this to you, child?" He asked.
Suddenly, the Big Daddy roared.
"Mr. Bubbles!" The girl exclaimed. "I made a friend!"
Kratos looked up at the creature, and drew his blades.
"You shall suffer for this!" He exclaimed.
Kratos's inner dad comes out a lot here
Like I said, these are really nonsense. It is kind of fun, however. I guess it will get a little more tricky when I get to the characters I don't know as well.
