Author's Note: Holy shit! The response for this story was INSANE! Thank you so much for your guys's encouragement! I will definitely continue with the story and I promise I will finish it. I already know what the end will be so that's the first step. I'm thinking it will be between 20-30 chapters. Somewhere around there. Anyway thank you again for reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following! You guys are awesome! Seriously incredible. I've never gotten a response to a story like this so it really blew my mind away. Also Pacspoon your question in regards to what TJ stands for in answered in this chapter. It's pretty easy and you guessed right. I hope you guys like the next chapter. More will be soon! Please review!

Thank you to: Guest, Guest, Jaceyb1, shannie83, Kazziebear, Monica, Guest, .9066, Prettie Parker, Guest, Andrea, Sarah, reapergirl2014, Guest, Mrssilvers, .58, aljbnc, tbodnar08, reads2much1987, .5, Jon Shepard92, Guest, Mm032, Guest, Guest, Tessaturd, JaraSoa2008, jCampbell943, Daliah, tangoline, .14, Samantha Renk, Guest, Megcherie26, Cindy Burick, .1, kanikafultz123, Guest, Emeli Thorne, smerchant32, Guest, Guest, Julzy109, Guest, , GoodGirlGoneBad1984, Guest, Mommajo0811, xshynenstarx, xbeautifulsaddnessx, Cheery Tropay Venturi, Guest, , Guest, Guest, Guest, Guest, Guest, sarasd45, pacspoon, Tina, Skullprincess46, katannc, Guest, DarkAngelKat, & Guest!

Enjoy!

Chapter 2: How We Are

Jackson Teller was beyond frustrated. His idiot of an ex-wife had overdosed again and he got the phone call from the hospital because he was still listed as her emergency contact.

Before the hospital had called he'd been balls deep in some blonde Asian Pornstar who's name he thought was Irene or something. He was so drunk he could barely see straight and he was pretty sure the blowjob he was getting was one of the worst of his life. He wasn't sure how that was even possible since she was a fucking Pornstar, but that was the truth of it.

Whenever he closed his eyes—which really that was during a majority of the fucking they were doing—he saw Tara. But that was nothing new since he only ever saw Tara when he was with other women.

He thought that getting lost in sex, booze, and pot, would be enough for the memory of Tara to fade away, but there was no escaping what should've been if he hadn't screwed it up.

The endless disconnect had helped initially, kind of, or at least he tried to tell himself it worked. After Tara left his mother and Clay threw women at him and he fucked his way through most of California, Oregon, Washington, and even some of Mexico, but there was no salvation for him. He just wanted Tara, only Tara, and despite the time that had slowly slipped by the ache was still there. The dreams of her were still present, and the love still existed. Nothing he did could erase or ease the ache in his heart and so he focused on the things he could control.

He spent a majority of his time working with the club, running guns, working on cars and bikes. He tried to stay focused and when he wasn't doing all of his club duties or garage ones, he was drinking until he found some girl who was worthy of his interest to fuck for the night. He was lost in an endless circle of meaningless sex and booze and no matter what he did he still hated himself for pushing her away.

When she had come back the two months after she had left he figured that maybe meant she'd come back for good. He had been half-drunk when he said those words to her and when he left the kitchen to go apologize for his asshole behavior his mother had said she had left. He hated himself for hurting her, hated the fact he lied to her face, hated how he shoved the croweater at her so she could feel as hurt as he did. But he did all of that and he hated himself for being such an asshole to her. In his defense he had been hurting since she told him she was leaving. He tried to come to terms with it, but it was impossible to think of not being with Tara.

The three or so months he's spent in jail had been bad enough with only a weekly visit from her, but the thought of her living in San Diego a good five hours away was torture. The first few weeks he barely got out of bed, until Clay and the guys came in to drag him out. Right before she came back Clay had talked him into trying to fuck the pain away and began to throw girls at him.

After she left again he continued to try to fuck the pain away, but that didn't work. He had even tried to find where she was, but her father told him she was better off without him and he didn't know her cousin's last name.

Finally he met Wendy, a girl who was as hurt as he was. He wasn't in love with her, had never been, but she for some reason loved him. The marriage was an accident. They were both beyond wasted and someone—Jax didn't remember who— had gotten ordained so they decided to pretend to get married. Pretend ended up being real and Jax instead of getting an annulment decided that why not stay married to Wendy. Wendy understood that the club came first. Wendy was nothing like Tara and didn't care what he did. But living with Wendy was awful. She was a junkie and blew most of the money on Meth. Finally after six months of marriage he couldn't take it anymore and filed for divorce. That was three months ago.

"I asked you to take me off as your emergency contact." Jax said staring at his haggard looking ex-wife. She had been attractive initially, but drugs and time had deteriorated her skin making her look years older than she was.

"Jax, please, I'm still willing to try." She pleaded.

Jax shook his head angrily. "It's too late, Wendy. Too much shit has happened between us. Just sign the divorce papers so we can move on."

"But I still love you, please let's try again." She cried.

He gritted his teeth. "Wendy, this is your second overdose in as many months. I'm tired of being responsible for you. I was supposed to be your husband, but I'm more of a sponsor now and I'm tired of dealing with this shit."

"Then I'll stop. Please, I swear I'll stop." She begged.

He sighed, "no you won't. Just sign the divorce papers and take me off as your emergency contact because next time I'm not coming."

With that he turned around and left not wanting to continue talking to her. What he really wanted to do was go get some beer and a fat joint so he could go to sleep.

It wasn't late only a little after midnight and the hospital was still bustling as he made his way to the elevator. He pressed the down button his fingers already itching for a cigarette he desperately needed. He was busy reading one of those health signs on the hospital wall when the elevator doors opened and a nurse rolling a sickly looking patient in a wheelchair came out. Jax glanced at the man in the chair and got ready to walk past him when he heard an eerily familiar voice.

"That's the shit head that used to fuck my daughter." The voice said causing Jax to stop with one foot in the elevator and the other in the hall. Jax turned around swiftly and stared down at the man in the wheelchair.

"Cindy, Cindy, that little shit used to fuck my daughter." The man said pointing at Jax again.

Jax's jaw tightened and he glared down at the man several memories of the man in front of him yelling, cussing, and calling his daughter various derogatory names hitting him in full force. He even remembered one memory when Tara came to him after a particularly vicious fight with him sporting a black eye. He'd never felt so much anger in his life at the man in front of him and a sick satisfaction came over him at how sickly Frank Knowles looked.

"It's Cathy, Mr. Knowles and please refrain from swearing." The nurse responded in a bored voice getting ready to push him along the corridor, but Frank put a hand on the wheels of the wheelchair to stop her.

"She was right to leave you." Frank spat and suddenly years of anger towards this man made Jax snap.

"Fuck you, old man. She left you too." Jax snarled stepping fully out of the elevator. He had some things he had to say to this drunkard in front of him. Maybe it was having to deal with Wendy on this late Tuesday evening, or maybe it was because when he had to deal with Frank Knowles he'd been a teenager and was unable to accurately voice what needed to be said. Sure, he had offered to teach Frank a lesson for saying the things he did to Tara and yeah, he'd threatened him several times for hurting Tara, but he'd never said what he truly wanted to say.

"You treated her like shit for years. You called her names, said awful things to her, and hit her and you blamed it all on drinking, but you know what – I think you're a fucking prick for doing that to your daughter. She's a great person who deserved better than a drunk for a father. I hope you die alone." Jax snarled without thinking.

Frank smirked at him, "shows how much you know, you little shit, she's coming home."

Jax blinked wondering if he heard him right. "What did you say?" he asked.

Frank smirked and made a gesture for the nurse to roll on. The nurse gave Jax a sympathetic look and then began to wheel him down the hall. Jax stayed where he was Frank's words ringing in his ears. She's coming home. She's coming home. Tara was coming home.


"So this is where you used to live?" TJ asked looking out the window as they drove through the small Californian town.

Tara nodded absentmindedly her ears perked up for the sound of motorcycles on the road. She knew if anyone saw her son they would immediately know who the father was. He looked like Jax after all, but with only slightly darker hair. Besides he had started going by Thomas now and if the looks didn't give him away the name surely would.

"Yeah till I left at nineteen." She said coming to a stop at a light.

"Why haven't we ever come to visit?" TJ asked curiously turning to sit back in his seat and look at her.

She shrugged trying to be nonchalant about the subject. "Just because…" she said vaguely.

TJ frowned not liking her answer. "Does my dad live here?" he asked bluntly.

She winced slightly, "this town has a lot of history for me, TJ."

Thomas gave her a charming smile that looked spookily like Jax's. "So he does live here and it's Thomas, mom."

"I know what your name is. I named you after all, smarty-pants." She paused taking a left turn onto her old street. She could see her house in the distance with the overgrown lawn.

"And you're too smart for your own good." She added casting a smile at him.

"What's he like?" TJ asked curiously.

"Who?"

"My dad."

Tara sighed heavily coming to a stop in front of her childhood home and pulling into the driveway.

"He's…a lot of different things. I've told you about him before." She said.

"But I want to hear them again. His brother was named Thomas, right?" he asked eagerly.

She nodded only regretting slightly telling him that. He had to do a project on his name and what it meant earlier in the year and when she told him that his father's brother's name was Thomas he decided he wanted to go by Thomas from now on. She was curious to know why he didn't decide to go by his middle name of Jackson, since that was his father's real name. When she had asked TJ told her that he didn't want her to get confused when they finally became a family. Her heart broke a little at that.

Talking about Jax wasn't a rarity in their household or apartment since that's where they were living. TJ constantly asked questions about his father and Tara dutifully answered them. She tried to tell him as much of the truth as she could, but sometimes it was hard. She wanted TJ to know his father, but she was also scared of what would happen when the truth was revealed to Jax and the influence Jax would have over him especially with the club.

"When are we going to see grandpa?" he asked.

"In the morning." Tara said parking the car and grabbing the few bags they brought.

She was lucky that her job at Chicago Presbyterian was willing to give her a few weeks off to say goodbye to her father. She had applied for the job before her residency ended and had just gotten the acceptance a few days earlier. They had agreed to hold her spot until she took care of her father and when she returned she'd have her first doctor job ever.

She led him up the driveway and looked under the welcome mat for the key. She opened the door and walked into the house unsurprised by how little things had changed. She dropped the bags on the couch and began to clean up the cigarette butts, bottles, and take out containers. She opened the windows to air the place out and then went to her old bedroom where only a mattress was. She fixed her old bed up and TJ went searching for some food. When nothing was found she grabbed her purse and gave him chips and a granola bar.

"Nothings open until nine tomorrow." She said sheepishly.

TJ shrugged and bit into the granola bar.

"I told you to eat on the plane." She added and he rolled his eyes.

He ate in silence and walked around looking at the few pictures on the wall. He walked all over the small house before coming to sit by his mother who was on the couch absently watching TV.

"Why aren't there any pictures of you?" he asked cuddling into her side.

She smiled sadly watching the late night talk show that was on. "He was angry that I left." She said knowing that those words were frequent ones on her tongue as she tried to explain things to her son.

"So he took all your pictures down?" he asked looking up at her.

She nodded, "yeah. He didn't talk to me for awhile either. Not until he got sick." She didn't want to add that there weren't that many pictures of her up before.

"How come?"

"I think he doesn't want to die with any regrets." She said truthfully.

"Is that why we're here?"

She nodded, "yeah among other reasons."

"Like what?"

She looked down at him and then back at the TV. She ran a hand through his hair and debated on how to answer.

"Maybe I don't want to die without any regrets either." She said finally.

TJ looked at his mother for a minute waiting for her to go, but when she didn't he finally got off the couch and went to bed leaving Tara alone with her thoughts.

When it was nearing close to three in the morning she begrudgingly made her way to her parents old room. She took the sheets off and remade the bed before falling onto the mattress to fall into a restless sleep.

(A/N: what do you think? Next up is Tara and TJ visit Grandpa Knowles, and run into someone at the hospital.)