Thanks for the reviews. Now, we have Kakuzu's birthday!!

Disclaim: I don't own Naruto.

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"HIDAN!! How long do you take to finish taking your fucking bath?!" Kakuzu yelled, banging the bathroom door.

"Shut up! Must I repeat this every morning you fucking asshole? I must be clean then I can present myself to Jashin-sama you idiot! Now shut your fucking mouth up you fucking bastard!" Hidan shouted in reply.

Kakuzu went to sit in his bed and count his money. At the same time, he was wondering what he should do to Hidan after he stepped out of the bathroom.

"Chopping off his limbs and head should be a good idea. But the blood from that idiot will ruin the carpet. Then I'll need a lot of money to wash that stupid blood of his off." Kakuzu thought to himself.

After some thinking, Kakuzu decided to carry the head cutting operation outside the room. Just then, Hidan stepped out of the bathroom with his towel wrapped around him.

"Now its time to do it." Kakuzu said to himself.

He grabbed a shuriken and stood up from his own bed, advancing towards Hidan.

"Tobi is going to be late! Everyone must be waiting for breakfast now!" Tobi thought to himself.

Tobi quickly watered the plants in the greenhouse and rushed to the hideout to prepare breakfast. As he passed by the living room, Tobi could hear someone shout: "Hey! Some fucking idiot, help me out here!!"

Tobi looked under the sofa and almost screamed.

"What?! Never seen my head before? Help me out here you son of a bitch!" Hidan yelled at Tobi.

"Y-yes s-sir." Tobi stammered.

Tobi took Hidan's head from below the sofa and carried it to the kitchen. There, Deidara was getting hungry and when he saw Tobi, he shouted: "Tobi! What took you so long, yeah?! I'm starving here you- Hidan? Where is your body? What's your head doing here, yeah?"

"That fucking stupid Kakuzu cut off my head. Someone bring me to him and get him to fix my fucking head back!" Hidan yelled.

"Not in your lifetime Hidan." Kakuzu calmly replied, taking a seat at the table.

"Kakuzu you dumbass, fix my fucking head back to my fucking body!"

"I think not Hidan. I prefer your head to your body."

"Why you fucking bastard! I can't stay like this for the entire day!"

"Then get used to it. Cause you're going to stay like this forever."

"What's with the racket?" Kisame asked, stepping into the dining room with Itachi behind him.

"Are you blind you jackass? Can't you see my body is gone?!" Hidan snapped angrily at him.

"Why did you bring his head Kakuzu? You should've left it in the room and brought his body instead." Zetsu told him, taking a seat.

"Why you piece of-"

"That's enough the two of you. Fix Hidan's head Kakuzu; I have a mission for the both of you. Meet me after breakfast." Leader-sama instructed them.

"Yes sir." Kakuzu replied.

"So fast? Leader-sama can't you give them a mission another time? Kakuzu's birthday is tomorrow, yeah!" Deidara exclaimed.

"You! Who told you my birth date you stupid brat!"

"It's in your diary Kakuzu-san!"

"Why you little-"

"Enough fighting. Kakuzu is going on a mission with Hidan. That's final." Leader-sama said.

Throughout breakfast, everyone except Leader-sama (he went to his room to eat breakfast) had to put up with Hidan's swearing. Tobi had to constantly feed Hidan his breakfast and always jumped when Hidan made any sudden movements.

"Maybe cutting his head off was a bad idea after all." Kakuzu thought to himself.

After breakfast, poor Tobi had to carry Hidan's head to his room so that Kakuzu could fix his head back on.

"Finally. It's about time you stupid asshole." Hidan snapped at him.

"Shut up. I'm only fixing your head back because Leader-sama ordered me to do so. Otherwise you'll remain like this for all eternity." Kakuzu replied, putting Hidan's head back on.

After the operation, the two men went to Leader-sama's room for a briefing on their mission. Hidan knocked onto the Leader's door and heard him say: "Come in the two of you."

Kakuzu pushed Hidan into the dark room and stood before the leader's desk. The Akatsuki leader wasted no time in telling them their mission.

"The two of you are going to the Tea Country to capture two bounties, each worth about 100 million per head. Kakuzu, you should know how low the Akatsuki funds is by now, we need these two bounties to ensure that there is enough money for us. If you wish to celebrate your birthday in the hideout, I suggest you finish the mission quickly." Leader-sama explained.

"I have no intention of celebrating." Kakuzu replied.

"Very well. But I still need the two of you to finish the mission as fast as possible. Understand?"

"Yes sir." Hidan replied.

The two men rushed to the Tea Country immediately after lunch. While traveling through the forest, Hidan asked: "Why is it called Tea Country anyway? Do those fucking people even serve tea?"

"Of course you dumbass. Man, these people are extremely lousy in naming things." Kakuzu replied.

The two ninja managed to enter a village before nightfall but they couldn't rest yet. Kakuzu needs to search for a good and cheap inn to stay before they can rest. The two missing ninjas wondered around the streets for hours until Kakuzu was satisfied with an inn. They entered the inn and were greeted by a young lady in a kimono.

"Good evening gentlemen, how many I help you?" she asked them.

"The two of us need a room with two separate beds." Hidan told the woman.

"May I have your names please?"

"Yamato Ichigo and Ukitake Akira."

"Okay. Gentlemen, please follow me to your room."

The lady in the kimono led the two ninjas to a door at the very end of the corridor and said: "This will be your room. Dinner will be served shortly. If you have any problems with your room, please do not hesitate to tell me."

Kakuzu pushed the door open and began unpacking his items. Hidan turned on the television and began watching a documentary on churches. After unpacking his stuff, Kakuzu took out the mission scroll Leader-sama gave him and began reading it.

"The two targets were spotted at a mountain nearby this area. Their hideout must be there." Kakuzu told Hidan.

"Then when do you want to fight them?" Hidan asked.

"Tomorrow at noon. Any rituals that you would like to do do them in the morning. We cannot have any delays like the rest of the missions we had."

"Unlike you, I'm loyal to Jashin-sama, bastard. After dinner, I'm going to find a virgin sacrifice for Jashin-sama so I'll be back late."

After Hidan left the room, Kakuzu smiled. Finally, he can have some quiet time counting his precious money.

"Kakuzu you fucking bastard, look out!" Hidan yelled, blocking another attack from the ninja.

Kakuzu dodged a shuriken thrown at him and began forming seals to form a jutsu.

"Damn… No wonder these bounties are worth 100 million apiece, they are tough, real tough." Kakuzu thought to himself.

The attack hit the enemy but unfortunately, Kakuzu hit a clone.

"Shoot!"

"Kakuzu! Look out you dumbass!" Hidan shouted towards his partner.

But it was too late. Needles pierced Kakuzu's back and he yelled. Hidan took down his enemy and began fighting the other. Kakuzu plucked one of the needles out and found the tip covered with purple stuff.

"Damn it. These needles are covered with poison!" Kakuzu told his partner.

"Hold still. The poison will spread if you move a single muscle. I'll take this guy down." Hidan replied.

Kakuzu followed Hidan's advice and sat down, but it was no use. The poison was still spreading even though Kakuzu wasn't moving. He took one last look at Hidan and blacked out.

"Kakuzu-san, wake up! Don't scare Tobi!"

Kakuzu opened his eyes and looked around. He was resting in his own room with Tobi right beside him.

"How did I get here? Where's Hidan?" he asked Tobi.

"Zetsu-san was passing by when he saw Hidan-san and you. He picked you up and brought you to the hideout. Sasori-san prepared an antidote for you and here you are, resting in your bed." Tobi explained.

"What about Hidan and the ninjas?"

"Hidan-san already cashed them in and received 200 million. He is now doing a ritual for Jashin-sama."

Kakuzu smirked. He didn't know that Hidan could take out the two ninjas by himself.

"By the way Kakuzu-san, Hidan-san left a present for you." Tobi informed him.

Kakuzu stared at the package at his feet. He picked it up and unwrapped the present; it was a calculator. Beside it was a note from Hidan, it read:

Take care of yourself and get plenty of rest.

This calculator is for you, money boy.

Happy Birthday.

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ShadowTamerz: Aww… what a sweet present…

Kakuzu: What the hell! You make me sound weak you stupid author!

ShadowTamerz: Hey, you lived. Good for you. Now go and rest, money boy.

Pushes Kakuzu out and locks the door.

ShadowTamerz: Next, we have Kisame!! Review please!!