Chapter Two: "Deserve to Die"


Time passed by. Hours? Minutes? Seconds? Haku didn't know, nor did he really care anymore. He remained right where he had broken down, sobbing until no tears were left. And then, he just stared at the wall nearby, his mind swirling like a whirlpool.

'How could I let myself slip this far.. become so useless to Zabuza-san..' he yelled at himself. 'Theres no point now... what.. what will he do with me? Will he just throw me out.. or will he.. be kind enough to end my life..'

He finally got up from the floor, shakily pulling himself up. He leaned his back against the wall, and pulls his knees against his chest, wrapping his arms around them tightly. He rested his chin against them. He felt discusted with himself... as if.. he had been covered with dirt and not showered. And the simple question rested upon his mind...

'What now?'

Haku closed his eyes, unintentionally rocking back and forth slightly. Realising finally, it had already grown dark once again. And he knew It was only a short amount of time, he knew, before Zabuza would be home. And he would do as he said... dispose of the worthless tool that sat patheticly on the floor.

'I'll do it myself...'
The thought sparked within his mind, and spread like a forest fire; instantly. It consumed him fully, and he didn't even debate it for a split second. He would do the deed himself.. that way, his master wouldn't have to stain his hands with the unworthy blood of his useless too.

"It was perfect!"

It consumed him completely within a matter of minutes, and his whole mind just seemed to click off. He no longer reasoned, cared, hurt.. All of that was pushed aside. He knew what he had to do, and everything now focused upon that one task.

He stretched his legs out once more, pushing against the wall with a single hand. With a deep breath, he reached into the robe he wore, and removed a senbon. He looked down at it, and then tried to place it between his fingers. His hand.. begun to shake, and he tryed to prepare for what he was about to do. And before he could plunge the item into any of his vital spots, he jerked, and it clattered to the floor. In a panic, he reached for another, but it fell before he could even grip it. The same thing happened a couple more times, and Haku was getting nowhere. He growled in frustration, echoing though the whole building. If it had been a couple hours earlier, he would have frightened himself.

His head snapped around, as his eyes scanned the room for something-- anything that would work better than his senbon with his shaky hands. And on the counter, by the stove, he spotted a knife.

'Perfect...'

He made his way, tripping once over the broom he used to clean. But he reached the counter, reached over the stove, and took the handle of the sharp metal knife in his hand, bringing it back towards him. He looked at it, eyeing it as if was plotting againt him for a second, before looking down at his other hand. The knife mades its way to pale skin of his arm.

WIth one quick slash near his elbow, he was bleeding. And though he normally detested blood, he stared at it with great interest. A sickly smirk came upon his soft pink lips...

He watched as the blood from the deep cut ran and began to drip unto the counter, making a nice little pool. He looked at the knife, and made another cut on the upper part of his arm, watching it bleed as well.

Within a few moments, he had made a total of 4 cuts-- two on each arm. Around him, the blood was pooling more now, and he himself was beginning to feel dizzy. So he decided it was time to finish it...

He was about to plunge the knife through his heart, closing his eyes and whispering sorry, when the door clicked open. Although Haku didn't notice until Zabuza's voice shattered his thoughts...

"What the hell!" Haku's eyes flew open again, and he froze. He could feel his master's eyes staring at him, and his whole body began to violently shake. He turned, dropping the knife right into the blood.

"Zabuza-san..." he whispered, and he smiled like nothing was happening. "I disposed of myself... I hope this will make you pleased.."

There was a pause-- not long, but seeming to last for hours. A small cry came to Haku's throat, as all of those emotions he had pushed back came out. And he collapsed into the blood, with a long cry of pain, before he was silent, except for the ragged breathing coming from the boy.

And it was well known that wouldn't last long either..

And for a moment, Zabuza just stared, his eyes wider than they probably ever had been before. His hand slipped, and his huge sword fell from his grip, hitting the kitchen floor with a less-than-graceful clatter.

"Haku..." he whispered, looking down at the pool of blood... the pile of senbon on the floor.. the knife lying beside the unconsious floor. "Haku!" he said again, expecting the boy to just jump up like he always had at the call of his master. But he did not, and slowly, he realised...

Haku was going to die...

Because of his harsh words...

At this realisation, he jumped to attention, skidding over to the boy with the obvious speed that came with being the demon of the mist. And he knelt down next to him, and stared. His perfect skin, cut by his own hands. And all of it just to please him...

"The kid doesn't care anything for his own life..." he mumbled.

In the back of his mind, he was screaming at himself for saying those things, wanting to just go back to earlier and apoligise for saying the things he said. But he ignored that part of his mind, and decided something;

This was Haku's fault. He was weak and so he was doing his duty by taking it into his own hands to dispose of himself. There was nothing to do now...

Zabuza reached down and brushed the hair away from his pale face.

"I should just let him go ahead and die.. thats what he wanted..." he mumbled.

He flipped the boy over so he was laying on his back, his arms beside him. Blood still collected around them.

"Dumb ass kid... you did this to yourself..."

A hand reached out and slipped under his neck, propping Haku's head up. It fell lazily to the side, the muscles not responding.

"You deserve to die... you failed me... your a useless tool..."

He picked up the boy now, standing up and holding him to his chest. He looked upon his face for a moment, and then whispered.
"Why did you go pull a stunt like that..." he asked his limp form, wanting a responce, but slowly realising he wasn't going to get one now.

Or ever again...

"Holy shit kid..." he said, making himself smirk. "How did you manage to even phase me..."

He shook his head, and then adjusted his arms so Haku would be more comfortable in them.

Not that.. he cared.. or anything...

But then he sighed.

"I'll wrap up the kid's arms... so.. he wont.. bleed everywhere..." he said. "Its more I have to clean up later..."

With this as his reason, he walked out of the kitchen, carrying the boy.


"Ah... Damnit kid, hold still..." Zabuza growled as he attempted to wrap up the boy's arm. Although he hadn't woken up, Zabuza was frustrated at him. He kept telling himself that it was just because the child was getting blood all over his house... and that he would have to be the one to clean it.

He had managed to get the wounds to stop bleeding, applying preasure upon them and such. But not he was trying to wrap the wounds...

And it wasn't going too well...

Although he wasn't bleeding, even Zabuza knew he was doing badly. His breathing came ragged, and his heart had slowed greatly. At this rate... he wouldn't make it through the night.

"Feh..." he said, finally getting the hang of wrapping the arm. "The kid is stronger than that.. he's going to get it when he wakes up... making me do all this for him.."

He finished his makeshift wrapping of the boy's arms, and once again picked him up, taking him into his own bedroom, and laying him upon his bed. He covered him up, and scoled himself. If his wounds re-opened he'd bleed all over his bed...

But he shook his head. "Its nothing.." he said. "Haku means nothing... " He told himself. "And anyway, the kid is going to pull through..."

'He has to pull through...'

Zabuza peered at his young apprentace for a moment, before turning.

"I'm hungry.." he said, as if the boy was listening. The silence took over, and he listened to Haku's ragged breathing for a second, before leaving, and going into the kitchen.


It took Zabuza longer than he had expected to fix himself something decent to eat. The past few years, Haku had always taken over the possition of the cook of the house... and he had forgotten how to cook well himself. But he had managed something, and ate it quickly, as the sun rose outside. He realised he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep for two days now...

Oh well... he didn't need it badly...

Thowing his plate in the sink, he avoiding looking at the blood that still stained the floor, now mostly dry.

'I'll get to that later...' he told himself, turning and going back to the empty room containing his bed. With the door closed behind him, he looked upon the bed from far away. It was eerie quiet in there.. in a way Zabuza did not like. He stepped towards the bed carefully, and as he neared it, the realisation hit him...

That Haku was no longer breathing...