"I can not believe I let you talk me into doin' this," James told Kate.

"You should have done it a long time ago," she replied, her smile reducing the harshness of the admonishment.

They were sitting in Kate's car together. She was in the driver's seat, and he had been riding shotgun. It was late, and it was so dark that the glow of the windows of the house in front of them illuminated the street. The house belonged to Cassidy Phillips and her daughter, Clementine.

James's daughter.

He sighed.

"You know I can't do this, Freckles," he told Kate.

"Hey, be grateful I didn't make you do this before our wedding," she said. Then she added teasingly, "And you've been getting really good at talking about your feelings." She gave him a light, teasing punch on his arm.

James smiled and shook his head. "I love you," he said.

"I love you, too; now get out of this car and get in there!" she replied, her face and tone still friendly and playful.

"And say what?" James demanded, his anxiety causing him to lash out. "'Hi there, Cassidy, remember me? I'm the bastard who seduced you into givin' me all your money, then left you broke, broken-hearted, and pregnant, and I just wanna say sorry 'bout all that!'" Sarcasm dripped from his mockingly cheerful tone.

Kate smiled, not in the least bit put off.

"That's a start," she said.

"Oh, come on!" James burst. "You don't really expect me to do this, do you? Hell, she'll probably kill me!"

"She won't kill you," Kate said.

"Between what I did to her, and what she thinks I did to you, I wouldn't be surprised if she did," he replied, irritated.

"James, we are not going home until you talk to her. And Clementine," she added.

"Why can't we just-"

"Because we're the two ex-cons who survived the Oceanic 815 crash and the magic Island, and she's going to find out about it sooner or later in the news," Kate replied, cutting him off. "When she sees we got married…well, what do you think she'll think?"

"That I'm a bastard one more time over 'cause I'm playin' you," James answered.

"That's right," Kate said. "Now, I could tell her myself, but you're the one who needs to talk to her."

"I can't!" he snapped. "Damn it, Freckles, I ain't good at this kind of thing!"

"You did very well when you came to talk to me a few months ago," Kate reminded him.

"Yeah, well, that's you," he replied. "I can talk to you. But I can't-"

"James!" she interrupted. She waited just a moment to make sure he wasn't going to keep talking, then said in a low voice that was no longer sweet and playful, "You gave this woman the life she has. You gave her a daughter." Raising her voice, she added, "And that daughter is going to have a sibling in half a year!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," James grumbled. Kate had been pregnant for nearly three months. They had gotten the news about a week before their wedding two days ago. And while James wasn't really unhappy about it, he wasn't looking forward to being a father. He was afraid he'd make a terrible dad. He always had been afraid.

One of many reasons he'd avoided seeing Cassidy again.

He sighed.

"What do you want me to say?" he finally asked softly. "Huh? What do you want me to say?"

"Tell her the truth," Kate told him. "No matter what, that's what she needs to hear from you."

"Come with me?" The plea was half-hearted, as he wasn't expecting her to.

"No," she said, smiling again, "I'm going to wait right here for you." Her smile widened as she added, "If I hear you screaming, I promise I won't just sit here and let you die."

"If it gets to that point, you'd be doin' me a favor if you did," James muttered to himself as he got out of the car.

Kate watched him walk up to the front door, knowing how much effort each step took for him. Despite her facade, she was mildly worried about what Cassidy would do to him. He had hurt her pretty badly, and Kate knew exactly what Cassidy thought of him.

James breathed deeply one more time as he stood in front of the door. Then, before his nerve failed him, and because he didn't want to look weak in front of Kate, he pressed the doorbell, then held his breath as he waited for the world to explode.

He waited for a minute, praying that they weren't home, though he had no idea where else they'd be. Suddenly, he heard very fast footsteps…footsteps that sounded like those of a child.

Oh, hell.

The door opened, and he looked down. There, standing in front of him, was a young girl.

Clementine. His daughter.

James couldn't help but just stare at her. He didn't think about controlling his expression. He just looked in guilty wonder at this girl who was part of him. He could see himself in her face. Kate had said that Clementine looked just like him when she smiled, and for the first few moments after she opened the door, he could see what Kate had meant. He was so hypnotized by what he saw that he didn't even hear what Clementine said.

"Mister?" she asked, crossing her arms and frowning in a very cute impression of a sassy adult.

"I'm sorry, what?" he asked, giving himself a little shake.

"I said, who are you?" the girl replied sassily.

She did have an attitude. He nearly smiled. He crouched down so he could look her in the eye.

He took a deep breath. "I'm, uh…I'm James," he said softly. Then he added with equal softness, "You're Clementine." It wasn't a question.

If the girl recognized his name, she didn't show it - and James had a feeling that she wouldn't be able to hide it at her age. But when he said her name, she nodded.

"Is something wrong?" she asked him.

What? Oh, hell, he probably looked like a lunatic or...

"I, uh…" He sighed resignedly. "I'm, ah, looking for your mother. Cassidy. She home?"

Clementine nodded, her sassy attitude gone. He probably creeped her out. Then she ran inside as fast as she could, and James heard her yelling, "Mommy!".

He stood up. He fidgeted for about two minutes as he waited for either one of them to come into view. Then, Cassidy walked into the hallway with Clementine, saw him, and froze.

What was that on her face? Shock? Probably. But once the shock wore off, he knew she'd be mad as hell.

She didn't take his eyes off him as she bent down to whisper something in Clementine's ear. It was probably something like "Go to your room", as far as he could tell from the girl's reaction. Clementine crossed her arms and walked away with a huff, and even though he knew it was the worst time and place for it, he couldn't help but smile at the girl. He was quick to wipe his smile away, though.

Slowly, eyes wide, Cassidy walked to the door. She was making him nervous. When was she going to snap out of the shock and go into full fury mode? He wanted to get it over with.

They just looked at each other for a minute, one too shocked to speak, the other too scared. It was James, ironically, who broke the silence.

"Hey, Cass," he said softly. Did he look as afraid as he felt? He wanted to look sad - no, he wanted her to see the guilt that was in him, but all he could think was that she was going to kill him.

"Sawyer?" she asked just as softly.

He flinched. "Nobody calls me that no more." He knew he should have had a better response ready, but he'd ditched that name long ago, and it hurt to hear it again. To him, "Sawyer" had always been a title. A label. An insult, even. It had been the name of the man who had killed his parents with his con, and James had taken the name when he became a con man because he never wanted to forget what had happened to him and lose himself in the job. But now, he didn't deserve that name. Not anymore. Not since he'd…

"Oh really?" she replied, and he didn't miss the edge that was creeping into her voice. "And what do people call you?"

He looked down. "James," he said.

"So the girls you scam know your real name now?" Cassidy asked as she took a step forward, anger starting to ignite in her eyes.

Here it comes.

"Well, isn't that nice of you?" Cassidy went on, sarcasm dripping from her voice. "Making it easier for them to call the cops on you when you-"

"I ain't a con man no more, Cass," he interrupted as her taunts touched several nerves.

"Why not? Just because you're a big celebrity now?" she shot back. Then, she appeared to have an epiphany. "Oh, I see! You can't be a con man because everyone in the country knows your face!" By the end of her sentence, she was in his face and snarling.

"That ain't why-"

"And how very manly of you to skew the story of the Island you were livin' on. Kate told me all about it, and you left out one or two things. I saw your speech on TV. You goin' big now? Instead of one woman at a time, you into connin' whole countries now?"

"I changed the story 'cause-"

"And," she cut him off again, raising her voice over his, "how very noble it was for you to send Kate to me to tell her you dumped her! Coward! You couldn't even say it to her face?" Her hands fisted tightly, half raised, and he was sincerely afraid that she was going to punch him with everything she had. "You weren't even takin' money from her! What did you want from her in the first goddamn place, anyway? Sex?"

"I didn't want anyth-"

"Was it 'cause she was tough? Or 'cause there was someone else who liked her? 'Cause from what I hear, those were the only things about her that made her stand out among all the other women on that beach!"

"That ain't even cl-"

"And why the hell are you even here? What the hell do you want now? What gives you the nerve to come and see me after all these years?"

"Honestly, I didn't wanna come," he said, his old, pissed-off attitude resurfacing as she poked all the right places with a sharp stick.

"Then why the hell are you here?" Cassidy demanded.

"'Cause Kate wanted me to come," James replied. Hey, it was true, and that was what Kate wanted him to do, right? Tell the truth?

"Oh, you two still talk, do you?" she said bitingly. "What did you say to her when she went back, huh? Did you manage to trick her all over again into thinking that you loved her? That you didn't know what the hell I was talkin' about and-"

"No, I did not!" he shouted at her.

She slapped him. Just like that.

"You broke her heart," Cassidy snarled, "and you used me to tell her what you meant by jumpin' outta that copter."

James sighed, his head still turned in the direction she had smacked it, and slowly turned it back toward her.

"I told her to go to you 'cause I knew what you'd tell her," he said quietly. "But that does not mean that I sent her to you 'cause you were gonna tell her the truth."

"Oh really?" she asked, still hostile. "Then why did you send her to me?"

"'Cause I wanted her to be able to move on if I died when I hit the water," he answered.

Cassidy raised her eyebrows.

"By the time that happened, I wasn't the son of a bitch you used to know," he continued, taking a step toward her. "Yes, I left you 'cause I got scared. Yes, I was a bastard, and a coward, and a con man through-and-through. I was."

Cassidy crossed her arms but said nothing.

James shook his head. "Look, I'm different now, alright? I was different then."

"Then why did you jump?" she asked him.

"'Cause I wanted her to get to the boat safely," he replied, trying to show her that he was telling the truth. "I wanted to save her, and I didn't care if I died."

"So you're saying you did care about her, but you didn't care about yourself," she said with a touch of sarcasm.

He sighed. "Yes, Cassidy, that's what I'm sayin'," he said.

She shook her head.

"Sawyer, all you've ever done is run from what you're afraid of," she began.

"My name ain't Sawyer!" he snapped before she could continue. "It's James!"

"Does it matter?" she shouted back.

"Yes, it-!" He broke off and took a breath. She didn't know. How could she know? And he hadn't come to tell her his life story.

Had he?

"Yes, it does matter," he said softly. "Sawyer was the name of the man who ultimately turned me into a con man. He conned my parents, so my daddy committed a murder/suicide. I was hidin' under the bed, watched the whole thing. All because some son of a bitch decided to scam 'em. So, at the funeral, I swore I'd find him and get revenge."

"So how'd you end up conning people?" Cassidy asked. She wasn't shouting anymore, but there was still anger burning in her eyes. "Sounds like you should've been the last person to end up living that life."

"You'd think so, wouldn't you," James replied with a humorless smile. "Thing is, huntin' Sawyer became the only thing I cared about. I dropped out of school the minute I hit ninth grade, didn't get a job…" He shrugged. "Didn't even eat, hardly. I lived by borrowin' money from people. I planned to go back to school after I got my revenge; then I'd get a job and pay everyone back, and everything would be good. After all, how hard could it be to find a con man named 'Sawyer'?" He smiled with anger and sarcasm, and somehow Cassidy did the same.

"Very hard, as it turned out," he went on after a moment. "I couldn't find the son of a bitch anywhere. Seemed like he was a ghost, you know? Just appeared out of thin air to take folks' money, then vanished again. No one knew a damn thing about him. Weeks turned into months, months turned into years…eleven years, to be exact. And that's when the folks I owed money to started to get unhappy. See, I'd borrowed from whoever I could, even complete strangers. Turns out, I wound up borrowin' money from the wrong people, and when I was nineteen, they decided they wanted their money back yesterday and weren't gonna wait for it no more. The angry ones got together, found me, and told me that if I didn't have their money within a week, they were gonna kill me."

"How much did you owe?" Cassidy asked, curious now.

"I'd tried not to borrow any more than I absolutely needed to get by," James said. "I didn't live nowhere, didn't buy nothin' for myself except food, and the bare minimum at that. Most of the money I borrowed went into tryin' to get information, you know? I'd been borrowin' for four years, but I didn't like moochin' off people." Cassidy raised her eyebrows. "Yeah, I know," James said, noticing this. "Ironic, ain't it? But I owed five grand total."

"You lived for four years on nothing but five grand in total?" Cassidy asked, surprised.

"Yes I did," James answered, nodding. "Ain't a lot, considerin' how much people usually pay to live on a one-year basis, even back in the old days. Still, it was a hell of a lot more than I could get in a week. I mean, I was a high school dropout, and it ain't like there're many jobs that pay that much for even the most educated folks. So, I…" His face fell, and he let the guilt and sadness he had carried with him for so long show in his eyes. "I did the only thing I could do. The only thing I could think of. The only thing I knew: I found a pretty lady with a dumb husband who had some money, and I convinced them to give it to me. And that's how I became the man I was huntin'. Sawyer. So I started callin' myself that, and tellin' other people to call me that, 'cause I didn't wanna forget what I was doin' and why."

"Why not just pay the guys back and go live with your family or something?" Cassidy asked.

James smiled grimly. "The pull of the Dark Side is strong, Dimples. Thing is, connin' those people was just so easy. I had a…a way with people, somehow. I had a talent. Plus I got money, money I didn't have to worry 'bout payin' back; and of course, a little sleepin' around on the side. It was like a drug." He let his shame show. "I got hooked. Couldn't stop. Didn't want to stop. It was easy. It was…" He hesitated, ashamed of the truth. But Kate told me to tell the truth, he reminded himself.

"It was…fun," he finally managed to bring himself to say. "A lot of fun. More fun than I could remember ever havin' in my life." He shook his head. "And I hated myself for it. I did, Dimples. I absolutely loathed who I was, what I'd become, but…it was all I had, and I couldn't go back."

"That's a very charming little sob story," Cassidy said, crossing her arms again, and James knew she was skeptical.

"I don't want your sympathy, Cass," he told her honestly. "I'm only tellin' you this 'cause a very close friend of mine told me to tell you the truth. Said I owed you that. And she was right."

There was a pause.

"You said you changed on that island," Cassidy said finally.

"Yes I did," he replied.

"What changed?" she asked. "What made you go from…from Sawyer to James?"

He chuckled humorlessly. "You mean, what made me go from miserable empty shell to livin' human bein'?" He smiled, and it wasn't completely insincere. "Kate did."

Cassidy raised her eyebrows again.

James sighed, shook his head, and decided to backtrack. The truth, he reminded himself.

"Cass," he began, "when I left…I mean, when we were…I mean…" He took a deep breath and started over. The truth. "You were different," he said, and immediately wished he could take it back.

"I was different…" Cassidy repeated.

"Yeah, I mean, I…well, I conned a lot of women in my day-" My day? Did I really just say that? "-a lot - but you…you were different."

"Because I didn't fall for your crap right away?" Cassidy asked.

He smiled. "That's part of it," he admitted. "But more than that, you were…you knew what I was, but you still loved me. I didn't think that was possible, but you did. And I'd…I'd never had a partner - a real partner - ever. Someone I could count on. All the 'partners' I ever had were only lookin' out for themselves." He sighed. "What I told you that day…that my partner, Gordy, was gonna kill us 'cause I told him I wasn't gonna take your money…that was true. After you admitted how much money you had, I called him to set up a meetin', told him I had you…but…when he was all excited about it, I realized…I didn't want to do it."

"But you did," Cassidy reminded him, not too kindly.

"He said a lotta stuff to convince me to go through with it," James explained. "Most of it didn't bother me, but one thing did. He said that once you knew who I really was, you were gonna hate my guts."

"You ran because you were scared." It wasn't even close to a question.

"Yeah, I did," James admitted. "I mean, I was worried when he told me that, but…" He sighed. "I had to be sure first. When I came and told you 'bout it…well, you hated me, Cass. Even if I managed to get you to love me again before I left, you hated me for a few seconds there, and…well, I knew then that it was possible for you to hate me for who I was, and yeah, I got scared and ran."

Cassidy nodded her head. "You really think I didn't already know most of that?" she asked him.

He smiled and shrugged. "I wouldn't be surprised if you did," he said. "You always could see right through me. Well," he corrected himself, "not always."

Cassidy nodded again. "What does any of this have to do with Kate?" she asked, a bit of an edge to her voice. He understood; she probably thought that he'd tried to change the subject.

"Well, she was different, too," he said.

"What did you do to her?" Cassidy asked, not too harshly.

"Nothin'," James said. "I mean, that ain't why she was different." He sighed again. The truth. "Moment I saw her, I knew she was…different. Special, I guess."

"Love at first sight?" Cassidy said skeptically.

"Somethin' like that," James admitted. "I mean, it would've been if I hadn't been an empty shell by the time we got there. See, I was down in Australia 'cause one of my ex-partners told me he'd found the man who ruined my life. Said he was down workin' a food stand down there. He gave me a name, a picture, an address…"

"But it wasn't him." It wasn't a question.

He smiled humorlessly. She always had been intuitive.

"No, it wasn't," James said. "It was just a guy who was overdue payin' my ex-partner back for somethin' or other, I don't know what; I don't care. Thing is, I didn't find that out 'til after I shot him. Shot him in the back with a hollow-point, so I'd have time to read him the letter I wrote to him at my folks' funeral. Didn't get any further than 'Dear Mr. Sawyer' when he said, 'Who?' That's when he told me. So I wound up killin' an innocent man." He shook his head and took a few breaths; the injustice of it still stung.

"The con man got conned," Cassidy commented.

"Yeah, and it wasn't the last time, either. But I had just that much more BS on my conscience when we crashed. I was pissed. I'd only ever wanted to kill one man; I wasn't a killer. So when we all crashed on the Island, I was actin' mean. I went with the group that went to find a signal for the radio, and on the way there, a polar bear came outta nowhere-"

"And you pulled out a gun you'd found on the court marshal and killed it," Cassidy finished.

"Yeah." He half-laughed as he remembered. "I'm a coward, always have been, but when somethin' big was roarin' and runnin' at us, I didn't even flinch."

"You're a coward when it comes to people," Cassidy said.

"Yeah…" He sighed. "Anyway, later on in the trek, we got in a fight. I don't really remember how it happened, but Kate wound up pointin' my own gun at me. Okay, so it wasn't my gun," he conceded when he saw Cassidy's expression. "But the one I'd taken. And she said somethin' to the rest of the group like, 'Does anyone know how to use this?' And then Charlie answered, 'I think you just pull the trigger.' Well, she really wanted to know how to take it apart, and Sayid was the one to help her with that, but what Charlie said gave me an idea. See, he assumed Kate wanted to shoot me. Why? Because I'd been actin' like a jackass, and they didn't like me. None of them did. And that's what I deserved, right? So, from that moment on, I was workin' the most insane con in the history of cons…or at least, it was back then."

"You conned everyone into hating you," Cassidy said. It wasn't quite a question, but it wasn't not a question, either.

"Yeah," James said somberly.

Cassidy shook her head in amazement. "You wanted to make your own personal hell, just because you felt guilty about all this?"

James nodded. "Yeah, and most people bought it real fast. By the end of two days, I was at the top of everyone's Most Hated List. It sucked, and it was what I deserved."

"But you probably had to do more things that would weigh on your conscience to get people to hate you," Cassidy pointed out. "Did you?"

James blinked. He honestly had never thought of that, not even after he'd beaten up Boone or conned his way into taking all the guns.

"You didn't think of that, did you?" Cassidy said resignedly.

"Nope," James admitted. "Honestly, I guess my mind just wasn't workin' that way."

"And what does this have to do with Kate?" Cassidy asked.

"Hold on, I'm gettin' there," James assured her. "In fact, I'm there now. See, everyone hated me for stuff I was doin'. I stole loads of stuff from the plane and people had to bargain for it; I was sure to act like the worst jerk I could; and more importantly, one time, I found Boone rummagin' through my stuff, and I beat the crap outta him."

"One more thing on your conscience," Cassidy commented.

"Yeah, well, I figured the payoff was worth it," James said, somewhat ashamed. "Anyway, turned out he was lookin' for inhalers for his sister. Figured I had it 'cause I was readin' a book that was in their luggage. So Kate came along as I was choppin' wood on the beach and asked me what I wanted for 'em." He made an expression that only someone who knew him could read, and that can't be explained in words.

"What did you do?" Cassidy asked, her tone and expression making it clear she was expecting it to be something piggish.

She wasn't disappointed. "I told her I'd give her the inhalers if she kissed me right then and there," James answered, flashing his trademark evil smile.

"Pig!" Cassidy spat.

James smiled. "You wanna know what she said to that?"

"Don't tell me she agreed to do it!" Cassidy exclaimed.

James's smile widened. "Nope. Not even close. Instead…" He paused for effect. "She had a 'you' moment."

"A 'me' moment?" Cassidy repeated, not understanding.

"She just leaned against the tree next to her and said, cool as you please, and I quote: 'I don't buy it, Sawyer.'"

"Oh!" Cassidy exclaimed as she understood. "Like what I said when you 'accidentally' showed me your briefcase full of 'money'!"

"Yup," James said, "she was just like you. Somehow, she just knew that I was actin' like too much of a jerk to be for real. She saw right through me." He paused. "And it pissed me off."

Cassidy raised her eyebrows for what felt like the third time in as many seconds.

"I wanted people to hate me," James explained, seeing this. "And as long as she had a feelin' that I wasn't what I pretended to be…well, that just wasn't gonna happen. So I tried to throw her off. You know that letter I mentioned, that I wrote to the man who ruined my life? Well, she said she'd seen me readin' it, which I did a lot 'cause I wanted to remind myself what I was doin', and she said she knew there was a human bein' in me somewhere 'cause of the look on my face when I did. So I made her read it. And, since it was addressed to Sawyer, she naturally thought it was written to me."

"What did it say?" Cassidy asked despite herself.

James smiled; he knew it by heart. "'Dear Mr. Sawyer'," he recited, "'you don't know who I am, but I know who you are and I know what you done. You had sex with my mother, and took my daddy's money all away. So my father got angry, and he killed my mother, and then he shot himself. I don't know you, I only know your name. One day I'll find you and give you this letter so you can always remember what you done to me. You killed my parents, Mr. Sawyer.'"

Cassidy's eyes widened.

"Wasn't pretty, was it?" James said.

Cassidy just shook her head, and James knew she was trying to imagine what Kate must have thought when she read it.

"And, to put an extra nail in my coffin, while she was absorbin' it, I said, 'Now about that kiss,'" he added.

Cassidy looked at him, still shaking her head, and he knew that she was just too stunned to speak.

"But despite all that, she still didn't hate me," James continued.

Cassidy's brow furrowed incredulously. "How could she not have?" she asked.

James shrugged. "I've wondered that myself. I guess she just knew, somehow, that somethin' still wasn't right." He smiled. "She saw right through me, even when she wanted to see what I wanted her to see. But I haven't finished the story. See, Sayid - you know, one of the so-called Oceanic 6?" She nodded. "Well, he was a torturer back in the Persian Gulf War. Boone's sister was dyin' without her medicine, and a lotta people were gettin' desperate. So Sayid managed to team up with the Doc - you know, Jack? - and convince him to, ah, oversee his…interrogation of me."

Cassidy gasped.

"He did this thing where he stuck bamboo under my fingernails, and…well, it hurt so bad that I slipped up."

"Slipped up how?" Cassidy asked breathlessly.

James smiled an empty smile. "The Doc stopped Sayid when I got to be in so much pain that all I could do was scream, and as soon as I could talk again, I said what I was thinkin'."

"Which was?" Cassidy pressed.

"'No. No, don't stop now,'" James answered.

Cassidy was silent.

"I tried to pass it off as a joke, but I ain't sure the Doc bought it," James went on, "'cause he said, 'What the hell is wrong with you?'. But then Sayid threatened to carve one of my eyes out, so I caved…" James made an expression that was something between shame and irony. "Sort of."

"Sort of?" Cassidy repeated. By now, she was completely caught up in the story. She wanted to know how he and Kate had gotten together in the first place, and if he really had changed, and how he did if he had.

"Told 'em the only person I'd tell was Kate," James replied, a half smile stretching his lips but not quite reaching his eyes. "So she came along, and I told her I'd be happy to tell her where the medicine was…soon as I got that kiss I'd asked for earlier."

Cassidy couldn't help it: she laughed.

"And then, she-" He broke off as it occurred to him. He smiled. "She had another 'you' moment," he said.

"What did she say?" Cassidy asked.

James kept smiling. "She said, 'Are you serious?'"

Cassidy smiled.

"'Course, she wasn't laughin' when she said it," James went on. "And I didn't say 'Excuse me?' like I did to you."

"What did you say?" Cassidy asked.

James was still smiling. "I said, 'Sweetheart, I am tied to a tree in a jungle full of mysteries, and I just got tortured by a damn spinal surgeon and a real live Iraqi.'" Cassidy smiled at that. "Yeah, she couldn't help smilin' at that, either," James commented, noticing this. "'Til I said, ''Course I'm serious.'" His smile became more sarcastic as he continued. "Then I started the surprisingly not-so-difficult task of talkin' her into it. I told her she wasn't lookin' at the big picture. Said, 'You really gonna let that woman suffocate, just 'cause you can't bring yourself to give me one little kiss?'. That got through to her; I could see it. And then, just to make myself seem more disgustin', I added, 'Hell, it's only first base. You're lucky I'm not greedy.'"

Cassidy gave a mortified laugh. "Not greedy?" she choked out. "What kind of crap is that?"

"Like I said, people were gettin' desperate," James said with a shrug that wasn't as casual as shrugs usually were. "After all, the good doctor had agreed to help a man torture me. To be honest, I actually thought about raisin' my price." He sighed. "Glad I didn't," he added.

Cassidy nodded like that was something that shouldn't even be worth acknowledging.

"Not for the reason you are," James said darkly. "You'll see why in a minute. Anyway, she sort of hung her head and said 'Okay', all forlorn, you know?" James wiggled his jaw slowly, letting the confusion and surprise he felt at the time show. "And somehow…I wasn't excited. I felt…bad. Real bad. Sad and guilty, kinda, you know?" He paused, but Cassidy had nothing to say. "So she came on over and crouched down in front of me," he continued. He had to sigh again before he went on. "And…well, we kissed. But…I didn't like it. I thought I would. Like I said, I knew the moment I saw her that she was…I don't know…different. But I didn't like it at all. I just felt…" He smiled at the irony. "Dirty."

"Wow…" Cassidy commented. "It must've been real bad to make you feel dirty."

"No kiddin'," James agreed. He sighed again as he remembered the next surprise. "And then, she did somethin' that I didn't see comin'."

"What?" Cassidy asked, wondering what it could possibly be.

James smiled again, and this time it almost seemed like a happy smile. "She didn't stop," he answered.

Cassidy's eyes widened.

"She just kept kissin' me," James said. "I told her I only wanted first base, but…well, she damn near went to second. And then I started likin' it. 'Cause I wasn't trickin' her into it; she was doin' it all on her own." He shrugged. "Still don't know why. Then it ended, and I felt…" He shook his head. "I felt like I was literally dyin' of guilt, 'cause…I didn't have the medicine."

Cassidy gasped indignantly. "You did all that, and you didn't even have what they wanted?" she exclaimed.

He knew she was starting to remember what a bastard he'd been. "Yeah," he said, ashamed. "I told Kate, and…she didn't want to believe it. But I told her I really didn't have it, so she slapped me and walked away." He sighed yet again. "I remember thinkin' that that slap felt more painful and more comfortin' than any slap I'd ever been given."

"'Comforting?'" Cassidy repeated.

"Well, it made me feel better, 'cause I felt like I was gettin' what I deserved, and…hell, I don't know," James said, shaking his head. "Point is, everythin' about that whole…ah…exchange…was a lot different than I'd expected it to be. Anyway, she went back to Sayid and the Doc and told 'em I didn't have the stuff, and Sayid got pissed and attacked me. I managed to work my way out of the ropes they'd used to tie me to the tree, but Sayid got there just as I got free. We fought a little, and long story short, he stabbed me in the arm." James pantomimed the event. "Damn knife went all the way through. Then he kinda came to, and the Doc told him to go get some stuff to help me while he tried to hold it closed." James sighed for what felt like the tenth time in as many seconds. "And I told him…to let go."

"You told him to let you die?" Cassidy said, incredulous.

"Did everythin' I could to get him to," James confirmed, nodding slightly. "Told Kate to tell him to let go…said 'We already made out. What else've I got to live for?'. Course, I only said that to mess with the Doc, 'cause he had a thing for her," James said quickly, seeing the look on Cassidy's face. "I said some other stuff too; don't remember what. Then I passed out. And when I woke up, I was back in my tent…and she was sittin' right next to me." He closed his eyes, remembering. "She had my letter in her hand. Said she'd read it again and again to try and figure out why I was doin' what I did. Said the thing she kept comin' back to was that I wanted to be hated." He sighed yet again. "Then she told me she looked at the envelope. There was a…a sticker, on the back, that showed that it'd been written too long ago to be to me. Said she'd figured out my name wasn't Sawyer, and that I wrote that letter. So I gave her a brief version of what I told you; tried to tell her just enough to explain, but not enough for her to feel bad for me." He shook his head. "Didn't work. I looked in her eyes…and all I saw was sadness. Sympathy. For me. From that day onward…didn't matter what I did, didn't matter what I said, she was always there for me when I needed a friend. Couldn't get her to hate me or even be disgusted with me ever again, and lord knows I tried." He was staring into space now, almost talking to himself. "And somehow…it changed me. I…I fell for her…and she didn't…" He shook his head, almost tearful. "I didn't have to be afraid of her. Started bein' afraid for her, when somethin' happened. She just…I don't know. I don't know how it happened. But I fell for her, and I changed."

Cassidy looked at him thoughtfully. He knew she was turning his story over in her mind, trying to decide if it was credible.

He exhaled slowly, and he said the thing he really needed to say. "And tonight…she gave me the strength to come over here and face you…and tell you that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did to you. I'm sorry for everythin'. There ain't no excusin' what I did."

Cassidy closed her eyes. He understood. What could she really say to that?

He gave her a minute to let everything sink in before he added the last thing she needed to hear from him.

"Look around town, go to all the banks," he told her. "One of 'em should have an account in Clementine's name. Not sure what bank it's in; told 'em it didn't matter." He looked at her, but her eyes were still closed. "It's worth ten million dollars," he told her.

Her eyes flew open.

He smiled. "Made it years and years ago. Long story where the money came from, and maybe I'll tell you another time, but…it's been out there a while. Since long before I crashed on that damn Island and met Kate."

Cassidy just shook her head, and he saw in her eyes the disbelief and wonder there. He knew she was thinking to herself that he was such a different person from what she'd thought…and he was proud of the fact that she was right. He also knew that she understood why he hadn't told Kate about it when he'd jumped out of the helicopter.

They just stood there for a minute.

"Well, I should go home, let you get to bed," James said, no less eager to leave than he'd ever been. "'Night."

"James?" Cassidy's voice stopped him as he turned back toward the open door.

He looked back.

"Do you…do you want to say goodnight to Clementine?" she asked him hesitantly.

Hell no, he didn't want to say goodnight to her! He wanted to get the hell out of there; he was still nervous, and the thought of being a parent was still scary for him. Then he thought about how he was going to be a parent in a few months, and for real this time. Kate would want him to do it. But could he do it? He'd already gone way outside his comfort zone that night. He may have changed, but he wasn't perfect…

"James?" Cassidy asked again, and he realized he'd been standing there with his mouth open for a whole minute.

"I, ah…" He swallowed. "I, um…m-maybe another time. I mean, maybe I could come back another time and see her. I mean, if you-" He stopped himself as he realized he was babbling.

Cassidy stared at him for a moment, then smiled.

"Okay," she said with a nod. "I'll talk to Kate. Maybe we can all get together sometime."

James nodded. "Sounds good," he said softly. "I'll let her know you'll be callin'."

"What?" Cassidy asked.

James blinked. Damn. Don't say a word, he told himself as he turned back to the door. You've already said enough tonight, don't say a word…

His left hand was on the doorframe, and Cassidy suddenly gasped as she saw that he was wearing a ring.

"You're married?" she exclaimed.

"Oh, hell," he said under his breath before he turned back around. Cassidy's eyes were wide, and she looked like she was in shock.

She probably was.

"Yeah, I'm married," James said. "And Clementine's gonna have a sibling in half a year." Might as well get it all out there at once.

Cassidy's jaw dropped, her eyes still wide. "Kate?" she finally managed.

James nodded.

Cassidy was speechless.

For a minute, they both stood there. Then James realized that Cassidy probably wasn't going to be able to say anything for a while if he stayed.

He smiled. "'Night, Dimples," he said, and he walked outside and shut the door behind him, ever the charmer.

He walked back to the car, letting the cool night air clear his head and soothe him. He'd never been good at talking about personal things, and even though Kate had given him a lot of strength, it was still a lot of work.

"Hey," Kate said with a smile as he got back in the car. "You were gone a long time. I was getting worried." James just looked at her, and appreciated all over again just what she'd done for him.

And suddenly, all the love he'd felt for her years ago, when he'd been so in love with her that she had been his whole world…all of it came back, and more.

"I love you," he said softly. He couldn't help it.

Kate saw the change in his eyes, and understood. "I love you, too," she said just as softly.

They leaned toward each other and kissed. All his old passion, all her buried love, all of it came back in that kiss, and for a minute, the years were gone; the years when he'd been with Juliet, when she'd been with Jack, and when she had lived with Cassidy telling her that he didn't love her - all of it was gone, and it was just the two of them, and love. Neither of them wanted that feeling to end.

And as they drove home, it didn't fade very much. It was there when they made love that night, and it was there the next day. It was there the next week, and the next month, and the next year. It was there when Kate gave birth to a girl, and then when she gave birth to a boy two years later, and when she gave birth to another boy a year after that. It was even there when they named their kids after the ones they'd lost: Juliet, Jack, and Tom. And even when they were in the purgatory that all the plane crash survivors had made, and sat with the loved ones they'd lost and not with each other as the light enveloped them and they were carried to the other side and whatever lay there, that feeling between them was far from gone, even though his love for Juliet and her love for Jack were strong once again.

Never were two people so perfectly made for each other as they had been, because they had been true soul mates: two halves to a whole, greater entity; two pieces that, when put together, made up a great, perfect thing.

They will never be forgotten, and neither will the lesson about love that they learned from one another and taught to the world be. Their names and memories will go together for as long as time turns. They were the perfect image of true love, and this will always be so, no matter how much time passes. May we all learn what love is from them, and what they had.

THE END