The baby was small and chubby, with brown eyes and a tuft of soft brown hair on the top of his head. From the waist down he was covered with white knitted blanket. Lucrecia leaned over the crib, looking at the child closely, and reached out to touch him on his chest, clad in light blue overall. How come she already gave birth to her baby and didn't even remember it? The baby sucked at his fingers, frowning at her. Lucrecia wasn't very familiar with children, but this one didn't look like a newborn. Probably several months old, she thought. She remembered that the production of the pigment - melanin - began when a child was born, and only by sixth month there should be enough of it to change the eye colour from grey to brown.
"No less than half a year, then," She thought. "Where have I been all that time? Did I have a severe reaction to Mako?"
A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She glanced around and only then understood that she was in the lobby. She straightened up, frowning in confusion, - she was sure they've been in one of the upper rooms only a second ago, - and saw Vincent and Simon standing beside her. Both of them were looking at the baby, one with a smile and the other with a frown.
"Not quite what I expected," Her husband commented. "But it will do."
The knock repeated. Simon looked at the door. "I'll open."
"No, don't," She tried to say, but it came out as a soundless whisper. "No!" She tried again, and again couldn't make her voice loud enough. She wasn't sure, why she was so terrified, but she felt that they shouldn't let whoever it was inside.
"Don't be afraid," Her husband said, smiling and opening the door.
Outside, a woman stood, tall and pale, in long black robe. Her purple eyes searched the room and stopped at the crib. She took a step forward, her silver hair flopping like with the wind, though the air was completely still.
"No!" Lucrecia whispered, picking the baby up and covering him with her arms, "Go away! Don't touch him!"
"Why?" Simon asked, tilting his head. "Isn't this what we both wanted, Lucy?"
"No, it's not!" She said, taking a step back, her voice at last gaining strength. "Vincent, help me! Close the door!"
The Turk shrugged. "You demanded that I mind my own business," He said, "I can't interfere in your project anymore."
"Anyway, it's too late now," Simon added. "The door was opened a long time ago."
The woman slowly moved forward, and all around her flames started on the floor, and walls, and furniture. Lucrecia turned and ran to the stair, trying to get the child away from the monster. At the top she looked back. Both Vincent and Simon were standing in the fire, flames dancing in their hair and all over their bodies.
"Go back here!" Simon called out to her, smiling widely, happily, flames coming out of his mouth alongside with words. "You have nowhere to go!"
She turned away and ran to the upper floor, but from the dark corridor someone stepped in front of her, barring the passage.
"Why are you always running away?" The familiar voice of Grimoire Valentine said disapprovingly, and she saw his face - pale, with empty eye sockets, filled with swirling darkness of Chaos. "You have to accept your fate, Lucrecia."
"No, no, no!" She shouted, clutching the baby to her chest, and recoiled from him, but instead of wooden stair her foot meet only air. She began to fall backwards...
...And felt soft linens under her back and hands. She was in her bed.
The afternoon was grey and gloomy, raindrops were streaming down the windows, blurring the sight of bare trees and grey overcast sky. The clock on the bedside table showed 4:16.
"Only half an hour," Lucrecia sighed. "Can't I sleep thirty minutes without a nightmare?"
During the last two weeks, she began to take mid-day naps, trying to get as much sleep as she could. At first it worked, and for several days she felt better, but not for long. Soon, her daily naps were, too, filled with nightmares.
She berated herself again for letting her own subconscious scare her so much, but, as always, it didn't help.
"Probably, I should go to town's first-aid post and ask for some sleeping pills, after all," She thought. Simon would be displeased, but she was too tired to be concerned about his reaction.
She looked out of the window, to the rain-soaked garden, and sighed. The weather was certainly not good for a walk.
That evening, Lucrecia was sitting in the lab and composing a weekly report for Professor Faremis, when something in the paper caught her attention. Numbers, the dosage of Mako solution she was receiving daily during the past week. Two thousand eight hundred. She rubbed her temple, trying to make her sleep-deprived brain work and figure out what was wrong.
She still was trying to determine the source of her worry, when she felt someone touch her belly. She leaned back in her chair, looked down. No one there, but the touch persisted, feather-light and uncertain.
"It's the fetus!" She understood after a moment. "It moved... The baby moved!"
She smiled, remembering the child from her dream, and suddenly felt so sad she almost cried.
"What if something happened to me?" She thought. "Will Simon be able to take care of the child? Or will he be too immersed in his projects to be a father?"
Lucrecia looked at her husband, who was sitting at his workstation, reading through the new reports on volunteers from the past phases of the Jenova Project and making notes. She knew that most of the volunteers were doing fine, except for a few that apparently had latent mental illnesses prior to participating in the experiment.
As far as she knew, both of Hollander's subjects - personally, she barely knew only Gillian, - did not experience any kind of complications. Although, probably, he was hiding something, just like she and Hojo were. They did not report her problems to Gast, out of fear that he will order the project cancellation.
Simon noticed her gaze and looked at her.
"The baby just moved," She said, smiling at him.
He shrugged, returning to his work. "It's as expected at this stage of pregnancy," He said.
She deflated, looking at her papers and feeling terribly sad again. She wished there was someone to talk to about things like this. Her fears, her pregnancy, her feelings... Probably, she could send another message to Iffie.
"And what would I tell her?" She thought. "Complain that my husband isn't as excited with my pregnancy as I'd want him to be? She would say that Hojo is being a typical Hojo, and it would be totally true."
Two thousand eight hundred. Two thousand. Eight hundred. It just didn't want to go out of her head. What could that mean? She opened the last week's journal and looked at the numbers again.
"Something is wrong with the dosage," She thought, frowning at numbers, and pulled the treatment plan out of her desk drawer. She checked it, and yes, the dosage was much higher than it should be. She checked the journal, and found that the doses began to deviate from planned values around three weeks ago, and the additional amount of Mako was steadily rising.
"Simon," She asked, unsure if she got the numbers right, "Did you write the Mako dosage wrong?"
"I don't think so," He answered.
"Why, then, is it 1200 milligrams higher than it should be?"
"The fetus is responding to Mako better than we predicted," He explained, still busy with his own work. "That's why I increased the dosage. Why are you asking?"
She stared at him, uncertain if he really said what she just heard. "You didn't tell me," She managed at last.
He continued to write.
"Simon," She said, "I... I'm not some lab rat, I'm a human being! You should ask me first!"
At last, he looked at her, raising his eyebrows. "You already gave your consent," He said, "Before we started the project. Why do you think I should ask again?"
She huffed in exasperation and stood up. "Simon, I have a right to know what's happening to me and why. My reaction to Mako wasn't good even before you increased the dosage, and you knew it!"
"I thought you were interested in project's outcome," He said. "I..."
"I am interested," She interrupted, "But I'm also concerned about my health, both physical and mental. I knew there were risks, and I was willing to take them, but not to multiply them by randomly changing the treatment like this!"
Hojo, too, rose from his seat. "Your health is not in danger. All your analyses and measurements are normal."
"But I can't sleep because of nightmares, and after the change in dosage they've become much worse!"
"Are you telling me," He hissed, "That you are ready to give up because of your childish fears?!"
"No, I'm not!" She exclaimed, leaning forward and slapping her palms on the table. "I'm ready to continue, but we have to stick to our original treatment plan!"
For several seconds, they stared at each other over their tables. At last, Hojo looked away, shrugged and said, "Fine."
The next hour passed in uneasy silence. When she put her papers away and went to the exit, Simon asked her, "Will you report our disagreement to Professor Gast?"
She looked at him, surprised that he would think that. "No, of course not."
The only sign that Hojo heard her was a slight nod.
"It would be really embarrassing", She thought, climbing the stairs, "To fail the project because of bad dreams and small misunderstandings."
Later, after she sent a weekly report to Professor Faremis, Simon met her in the common room downstairs.
"Lucy, I'm sorry," He said, "Sometimes I just... get carried away and forget that I work with humans."
She smiled at him, taking his hands in hers. "It's okay," She said. "We worked it out, did we?"
...
With the amount of Mako in her system decreased, Lucrecia was able to sleep better, at least through the day. Nightmares still haunted her dreams, but, thankfully, mostly in nighttime. A couple of days later, when the weather improved and unending rain was replaced by cold wind and occasional snow, she went to the first-aid post and got sleeping pills that were considered safe for fetus. She didn't intend to use them often, just sometimes, when she was in desperate need of sleep. The pills didn't prevent nightmares, but, at least, she didn't remember them after waking up, and could go back to sleep immediately.
October was unusually cold that year; by the end of month, small streams were already frozen, and snow covered the ground. The old house was not a most warm place, but Lucrecia found that she was not feeling cold. The combination of Jenova's cells and Mako warmed her up better than any furnace. The baby now moved more often, and she often imagined holding him in her arms. Her own appearance was changing - her eyes, once brown, now had a circle of bright blue around the pupils, and the color of irises was changing too. It was a known effect of Mako on humans, but previously it was an indicator of severe poisoning, and now, with the help of Jenova's cells, it was only a sign that the treatment worked. She wondered, if baby's eyes will be Mako blue from birth.
...
"This is perfect!"
Hojo moved away from the eyepiece, allowing Lucrecia to peek in. She looked and saw what he was talking about. The tissue sample consisted of normal human cells and evenly spread Type-2 cells. She sat back and shuddered, suddenly feeling cold for the first time in months. It wasn't some tissue from a woman dead for 2000 years, or a sample from unknown volunteer, it was her own body they took this sample from. Her own body now contained these cells.
Simon continued to speak; she tried to concentrate on his words.
"Do you see how evenly the Type-2 cells are spread throughout the tissue? It must be because of the place where the source of cells is situated," He gestured at her abdomen. "The uterus has large blood vessels, and these vessels can carry the cells from it to all organs and tissues."
She shuddered again, imagining that her heart and her brain, too, contained Jenova's cells. She supposed that freaking out over it was as childish as to be afraid of nightmares, but could not stop it.
"What is the proportion of Type-2 cells in fetus, how do you think?" She asked Simon, trying to distract herself.
He smirked. "Well, I suppose, by the time of birth they will be at least 50%."
"But," She hesitated for a moment, "Will he even be able to survive? Jenova's cells don't function without Mako."
"Yes, it's safe to assume that it will need a constant Mako supply for its organism to function properly."
"Maybe Professor Gast will find something in the Temple of Ancients," She mused. "Something about how the Cetra themselves solved their Mako-addiction issues."
"This kind of knowledge would be very useful," Simon said distractedly, writing down his findings. Lucrecia, finally, mustered enough courage to look at the sample again, when she felt Simon lean over her back and whisper something unintelligible in her ear.
"What?" She asked, raising her head. Simon looked at her questioningly from his seat a meter away.
"Did you say something just now?" She asked.
"No," He said.
"I heard someone's voice," She confessed. "Someone whispered into my ear."
He looked at her sceptically. "And what did they say?"
"I don't know," She said. "It was too quiet."
"I think, you should go get some rest," He remarked, returning to his notes. "Try to sleep, I'll finish the work here."
Instead of going to bed, Lucrecia decided to go out. The sky was clear, but the wind was chilly and sharp. She was glad, because the cold air cleared her mind and chased away the headache. Walking along the lanes, she felt almost like her old self, and for the first time since Iffie's departure, she really believed that everything will be alright.
Valentine, as always, silently followed her, but didn't come closer.
After the brightness of a sunny day, the lobby was too dark, and she stopped for a moment to let her eyes adjust. Lucrecia blinked several times, her head spinning a little, and just began to walk towards the stairs, when she heard the sound of the door opening behind her. She suddenly was scared, so scared that she could not think. Flames were starting on the floor around her. Shaking all over, she took a couple of steps to the stairs, but her legs gave way, and she fell down. Through the haze of panic, she heard someone walking to her, and tried to crawl away. A face appeared in her field of vision, but it was not what she expected, not a pale face of the shark-woman. It was Vincent.
"Lucrecia? Lucrecia? Do you hear me?" He was repeating, trying to lift her.
"Help," She whispered, "Help me... Close the door..."
He glanced at it. "It's closed."
She wrapped her arms around his neck, clinging to him and casting fearful glances around. Fire has disappeared. The door was closed. There was no shark-women in the lobby. Still, Lucrecia was shaking and breathing in fast, short gasps. She felt like it was not enough oxygen in the air.
"Doctor Hojo!" Valentine called. "Please, help. She collapsed."
She turned her head and saw her husband looking at them with a frown. "Bring her to the sofa," He said after a beat, turned around and hastily went to the room on the right.
Somehow Vincent managed to get her to the sofa, but she still didn't release him. She could feel the scratchy fabric of his coat under her palms and hear his breathing, and it assured her that this was reality and not another nightmare. She was not ready to let go of him.
Simon returned a minute later, bringing a first aid kit with him. Together, two men managed to persuade Lucrecia to release Vincent, and Simon gave her a shot. The drug acted almost immediately, clouding her mind with a thick fog of apathy. She felt tired and sleepy, and barely registered how Vincent carried her to the room. By the time they put her to bed, she was asleep.
The next morning, Lucrecia woke up an hour before the alarm rang, feeling well rested and refreshed. The drug Simon gave her let her sleep all night without interruptions. She smiled at her sleeping husband and kissed him, and chuckled quietly when in response he grimaced and grumbled something.
Entering the lab, she heard a sound of paper rustling from the study. Alarmed, she tiptoed to the door and looked inside. At the table, Vincent was sitting, reading through one of the reports.
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
He started and turned to her. "Lucrecia. Good morning."
"You are not supposed to read these." She said.
He put the papers aside and stood up. "Do you know that Doctor Hojo was hiding your condition from Professor Faremis?"
"Of course," She answered. "These reports were written by me."
He frowned. "By you? But why? Don't you realize how dangerous it is to hide you symptoms?"
"Yes, I'm aware," She said, hoping that she sounded more sincere than she felt. "I didn't hide anything from Simon. We know what we are doing."
"No, I don't think so," He began. "I've read the reports on volunteers..."
"I've read them too," She interrupted. "This is a risk I'm willing to take."
"But why didn't you inform..."
"Because I want the project to succeed," She said quietly. "This is my only chance. I cannot afford to fail."
"I understand," His voice was just as quiet as hers. "But isn't Professor Faremis more qualified..."
"No, you don't understand," Lucrecia said. "Please, Vincent... Don't interfere. You wouldn't do me anything good by doing this. Simon isn't forcing me, I'm doing only what I, myself, want to do."
He glanced away, and she mentally prepared to argue again, but after a moment he closed his mouth and looked at her with startled expression, as if he just realized something, and then his face gained the same closed-off look as when she pushed him away. He nodded silently and went past her to the door and out of the lab.
Lucrecia leaned on the wall, feeling extremely exhausted. The baby was moving inside her belly, apparently disturbed by her emotions. "This is only for fifteen more weeks," She reminded herself. "Or, probably, eleven. Thirty-six weeks will be more than enough."
Even eleven weeks sounded way too long.
...
For several days, everything was fine. The weather, at last, improved, and the days were sunny, but Lucrecia didn't go out of the Mansion anymore, not wanting to repeat the experience she had had after returning from her previous walk. If staying indoors for fifteen weeks meant that she could avoid another panic, then she was ready to sit inside the house.
Vincent was as quiet and distant as before, but time and again she caught his glances. She wondered, if he was going to try to talk to her once more.
...
The last scan showed that fetus' development has significantly slowed in the past week. Lucrecia and Simon discussed it and came to the conclusion that decrease in Mako dosage was the reason. They decided to slowly adjust the dosage until the fetus would develop at normal speed. As much as Lucrecia disliked the idea of increasing the dosage again, there was nothing else to do. They had to provide the necessary amount of Mako, if they wanted the baby alive.
After lunch Lucrecia, as always, went to take a nap. She tossed and turned for some time, and almost fell asleep, when she heard someone's unfamiliar voice from outside the room. She got up and went to the door.
"Even if she will resist us, we will still have him," The voice said. The sound of it was strange - more like a chorus, as if several people were simultaneously saying the same phrase. "He will make a good weapon."
She went out, following the voice. Now it was a barely audible whisper. It led her to the upper study, Gast's old room. Beside the wall a wooden crib stood, and leaning over it was a woman in long black dress.
"Who are you?" Lucrecia asked.
The woman turned around, grinned at her, showing sharp white teeth, her purple eyes shining. In her arms she held a small sleeping baby, wrapped in white knitted blanket. "I am his mother," She answered in the same chorus-like voice.
Lucrecia looked at the baby, recognizing him, and took a step forward. "No, you're wrong! It's my child!"
"Are you sure?" The woman asked, and pinched baby's cheek. The child winced and opened his eyes, purple, with slit-like pupils. "See, he is mine. I will be the only mother he will ever know."
Lucrecia couldn't tear her eyes from the baby. She was sure he was hers, why then?..
The dream abruptly ended, interrupted by alarm clock ringing, and Lucrecia found herself laying in her bed. She sat up, rubbing at her eyes and recalling the dream. "What could it mean?" She thought. "Am I afraid that my child will be taken away? And who could that woman be? A personification of Shin-Ra?"
Yes, she sometimes was worried, thinking about the future. What if the Company decides that the baby is better kept away from her? But, seriously... She shook her head.
She was finishing dressing, when a sharp, loud sound made her jump. It came from the direction of basement lab entrance. She ran, her heart pounding, out of the room, through the corridor and down the stairs. Hurrying along the underground tunnel, she heard laughter.
The door to the lab was thrown widely open. On the ground, a human's body was laying face down in a pool of blood. A few steps away, Simon stood, laughing his brains out. There was a handgun in his hand. Lucrecia eyed the body warily and turned to Simon. "Was there an assault?" She asked. "Where's Vincent?"
She supposed, he was pursuing remaining attackers, whoever they were. But something about the body... The body. She looked at it again. The suit...
"Is this... Vincent?!"
Simon was still laughing madly, clutching his gun.
"What happened here?" She asked. "What have you..."
"Lu...crecia..." Vincent moaned and went still. She took a step towards him and dropped to her knees. He was not breathing.
"Vincent..." She whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Hojo, finally restoring the ability to speak, began to babble about specimens and experiments, but she couldn't grasp the meaning of his words.
"Vincent is dead," She thought. "Just like his father. It's all my fault. If only I was stronger..."
Her belly ached. She rubbed it, willing her abdominal muscles to relax. She knew the proper procedure she needed to follow now. Inform their superiors and headquarters. Wait for clean-up crew to arrive. Write reports.
They both were likely to be put under arrest. Their project will be discontinued. She will lose her baby. Even if she will be found not guilty, it will be a huge luck for her to find any job better than a research assistant in some backwater lab.
And Vincent will stay dead, no matter what she did.
The baby might be his. She had to do something, to save at least the child.
She wiped the tears off her cheeks and looked up at Hojo. He was silent now, leaning against the table and staring at Vincent's body. His face was frozen, expressionless. She stood up, wincing at the pain in her abdomen.
"I'll not report your..." Your crime. "This situation," She said. "For the sake of my child."
He turned his empty gaze to Lucrecia. She doubted he saw her. She didn't think he understood a word she was saying.
She turned away and slowly went back upstairs, to Ifalna's old room, lay down on her friend's bed, curled into a ball and cried until she fell asleep.
...
"What happened to Valentine?" Iffie sent her the next day.
They reported Vincent's death as an accident with lab equipment. It was less likely to draw unwanted attention than anything else. Lucrecia didn't return to the basement since previous day, and moved her belongings back to her old room. Hojo, on the other hand, spent the night and most part of the day in the lab. They barely talked, although he didn't seem very upset. Actually, he looked even pleased, especially after they composed the report. Immediately after she sent it, he went back down.
She stared at the piece of paper with decoded Iffie's message. What could she answer? She felt tears sliding down her cheeks again.
Several minutes later, Lucrecia sent back the only bit of truth she could reveal now.
"My fault."
