Harry's POV
I was an idiot. I had someone so important and that loved me unconditionally but I had to do something stupid. I regretted it from the beginning but I followed what my friends told me thinking it was the right thing at that time but was wrong in the end.
It started when our third anniversary came that I finally had the courage to tell my friends of my relationship with Severus. But between my two best friends: Ron and Hermione, Ron thought that I had sealed my faith and have 'ruined' my chance to live life. I should of just listened to Hermione who told me that to listen to my heart and that don't make a stupid mistake cause finding love or someone who cares about you as much is hard to find, but no I paid attention to Ron and look what got me into.
When Ron confronted me and told me about how I am 18 and should be able to have fun before I settle down with someone I took it. How stupid, I already had Sev and didn't need anyone else but I let him talk me into it. So I let him introduce me to Draco and started the affair. At first I was why, why would I do this? I almost cried cause when I met up with Severus just looking into his eyes I could see the love and dedication he had on me that it made me sick of what I was doing.
But even with that I still didn't stop the affair. For a little more than three months I kept on seeing Draco. Sev confronted me about a rumor of me with someone but I lied between my teeth and assured him that he was the one and made a stupid excuse of studying when I wasn't. I am the worst human to have ever graced this earth. I am hurting a person who loves me with all his heart for someone I think; no I know I have no feeling for but wont do nothing to change it.
After sometime, and bugging from Draco to take our 'relationship' to the next step, I decided to take him to the room that both Severus and I would share in secret. I knew that on that day he would not go to the room cause of a staff meeting so we went and I had sealed my own faith.
I felt sick, doing something in the bed that I would make endless love to Sev with someone else, I felt dirty, I dirtied the one place that should be sacred to me and when I heard the gasp and turned I saw in the eye of the man I was suppose to love his heart break and it shook me. I ran after him but wasn't able to enter his room and for some days after tried to speak to him before breakfast, classes and dinner but to no avail until I shoved my foot in between the doors of his office when class finished did I decided that he would be best without me. A man who betrayed his love so I made up a lie and saw how I broke the last piece of his heart that I wanted to cry, wanted to hold him and say that no it was all a joke it was all something stupid but no, the three years of love I destroyed in one sweep.
When he kicked me out of his office I stood behind the door and heard his cry, it broke me but why should I feel pity, I caused this! I caused him pain and destroyed him why would I… I ran outside to the surrounding forest of the school, and screamed, cursed, hit anything in my way. How could I have done that! I love him for goodness sake! What stupidity did I do! How could I have destroyed a beautiful man!
I stayed there for a good hour or so until I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up and saw that it was the Head Master Professor Albus. I must of looked like a wild animal with my hands all bloody, my face with tears and dirty on it, my clothes torn and such, he hugged me and for a second I let it but than I said why would I need someone to comfort me when I caused pain to another.
"I should not be comfort. I should be cursed at, insulted, KILLED!" I pull my hair and started to hit the tree once again.
"Child, why would you want that what has happened" he placed his hand on my shoulder and turned me towards him that I spilled everything. I saw that his eyes had become steel; I knew he hated me there. "It was stupid! I did not even want to do that I like an idiot followed what others told me and ignored my own feeling my own heart and that has cost me the happiness I had" I broke down and felt exhausted.
"I lost the man I truly love for what!" I fall to ground again and cry. How can I fix this, CAN I fix this? Would he take me back? Will he forgive my wary mind that had made the most stupid mistake in my 18 years on this planet?
I felt a hand once again on my shoulder and a sigh while turning me to face Albus.
"Child, what you had done is stupid, uncalled for and should be never forgiven, but I can see that this has not been what you wanted that I will give you this warning. Severus is not an easy man to befriend, he has been hurt from his childhood to his adult and with what you had told me when your affair started I had seen how happy he had been and the changes in his demeanor that I know that he loves you and is hurting right now. It is a battle now to regain his love and trust. You have lost both but there has to be hope that it has not all vanished. Severus is like a son to me and I should be cursing you for causing him pain but from what I seen and now know, you two belong to on another. I will leave you with this, think wisely now what you want, what your heart tells you and fight for it. The battle will be long and hard but are you willing to fight?"
Throughout the whole time he spoke I had not weaver from his face and my determination has rising that without no faltering in my voice I answer: "Yes"
It has been hard seeing him within the school and attending class, but I relished in seeing him, being around him but also beat myself up for what I had done to him that I made a plan. There has been news that some professors will be leaving in the upcoming new semester and that replacements are being interview that I had decided to apply for a position. With that in mind I studied as if I was possessed. Nothing was going to stop me from correcting what I had done wrong and righting it. The happiness that I destroy I will repair and if it cost me till my last dying breath I wont stop till we are once again together.
Author's note:
Hey guys! Sorry that I haven't been posting stories for a while but I have had life changing ordeals that made me enter a depression period and not talk to any friends and write. But alas, those days have past and I have regain happiness and have continued to write. The first chapter of this story I wrote it when I returned from work at seven pm till around three to four in the morning. I was so into it that I lost track of time! I am also wanting to continue my other story "care to dance" so I will be doing two stories at the same time! well hope you like this chapter and give me RR on what you think should happen next? Bye for now! JA NE!
