Chapter 2

Barbecue!

I woke up, gasping in the middle of the night. I felt tears roll down my cheeks and a quite sob escaped my lips. Just a dream. It's just a dream. I drew in a ragged breath. I hated those dreams, and this is the fifth night it a row that I've had one. That's not good. I don't usually dream at all, but, if on a rare occasion I do. It's a nightmare.

When I was first taken away from my dad, I was sent to a home with four other kids. I stayed there for two weeks while Anne found a home for me to live in. While I was staying there, I was forced to see a therapist. She was nice and comforting, but the sessions themselves were hard. I had only seen her three times when she said I didn't need to go anymore, I wasn't at risk of doing anything crazy but if I wanted to, I could keep visiting. I had declined her offer. I didn't want to talk about what happened. What he did to me. But now, I look back at things she had told, things that would help with the dreams and memories. So of them were as simple as a stress ball. Others were as big as anti depressants.

Although, I did find one thing that helped greatly with the dreams. I grabbed my blade out of it's hiding place and walked silently to the bathroom.


It was my second week here. I really liked the family and was glad to be able to call them that. My family.

"We need desperately need to take you shopping, Max," Nudge said.

I looked down at my clothes. They covered my body, a bit worn, though. What could be wrong with them?

"Why?" I asked her.

"Well, for one, you only have seven sets of clothes."

I shrugged, "One for every day of the week."

"Two, because they're all T- shirts and jeans, you need more of a variety!"

"They're comfortable, though."

"And three because this morning, Mom invited the Wilson's over for a barbecue tomorrow night, she told me to tell you. And when she told me about it, I thought, 'Hey! This would be a perfect opportunity to take Max shopping!'"

The Wilson's? Oh yeah, Fang and Iggy's family. I found out the Preston's and Wilson's were good friends. Cheyenne and Mrs. Wilson worked together. Gazzy, Nudge, Fang, Iggy, Angel, and I have hung out a lot. It was fun. We don't really go to the movies or anywhere, like you would see on TV, we mainly hang out at each others houses.

No one had said anything about my being in foster care. I'm positive the Wilson's know, though. It almost did get brought up at one point. We were at Fang's house and everyone was talking about when they were thirteen. Angel was complaining because she hadn't reached thirteen yet. The topic was being pass around and it when it came to me, I stood, said, "Excuse me, I'm going to go to the bathroom." And left the room. I think for a second everyone had forgotten, because when I left, all of there expressions looked as if they had just seen someone murder a puppy. I knew it was an honest mistake and they hadn't meant to make me feel upset. I hadn't been upset, though. I just hadn't wanted to talk about it. When I came out of the bathroom five minutes later, everyone acted as if nothing had happened.

And the Preston's didn't really ask or say much about it. They understood I didn't want to talk about it. But if it did get brought up, I wouldn't say much or use the bathroom as and excuse to leave the room.

I bit my lip, "Did Cheyenne say it was okay if I went shopping with you?"

"Of course she said it was okay! In fact, she wants to go with us." Nudge smiled.

All the girls were going shopping? I smiled. It wasn't fake. "That's great! What time are we leaving?"

"After breakfast."

After breakfast, like Nudge said, we left for the mall.

"We need to get you a swim suit too," Nudge said, as she looked in her pocket mirror, fixing her make up. "We'll probably be swimming at the barbecue."

"We'll definitely be swimming at the barbecue. What's a barbecue without swimming?" Cheyenne pointed out.

Swimming? That won't be good... The scars on my arms aren't the only ones I have.

"I could just wear a loose T- shirt to go swimming in," I said.

Cheyenne met my eyes in the rear view mirror. "We could get you a one piece swim suit and then like swim trunks, Max." That's one of the things I like about Cheyenne. She was always very understanding and had a solution to almost everything.

I smiled a little, "Okay," I nodded.

At the mall, Nudge took me to almost every store. I couldn't even pronounce some of the store's names.

"We should get you this pair of sun glasses! They'd be so cute on you!" She put them on my face. "Were definitely getting these! Ooh do you wanna get your ears pierced?"

"Nudge, I think I have enough clothes now." I said as she held another shirt up to my chest. I had one tank top, three pairs of jeans, two cami's, three jean shorts, five T-shirts, one pair of gym shorts, underwear, PJs, one piece swim suit, swim trunks, and two long sleeve shirts. I had protested most of the clothes. My outfits were fine, but both Nudge and Cheyenne kept insisting on getting new clothes. I didn't want to offend them so, I dropped it. But that didn't stop me from saying thank you every few minutes.

"We should get you some accessories!"

"I probably won't wear many accessories, Nudge." I said.

"Allie kind of goes crazy when we go shopping." Cheyenne told me, smiling. "Allie, honey, it's time to check out now and go get lunch." Cheyenne said tapping Nudge's shoulder.

Nudge turned around, "Aw, really? Okay."


"So, what do you think of Fang?" Nudge asked the next day. I was sitting cross legged on her bed. She was taking ear rings out of her ear lobe.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, he's pretty cute, huh." She wiggled her eyebrows.

I cracked a smile, "I guess. He's seems for a friend to me."

She rolled hers eyes, "He was totally flirting with you last night."

I flinched a little at the thought. I wasn't ready for anything more than a friend. I wasn't sure if I ever would be. "What do you think of Fang?"

"I think he's cute, he's got that mysterious biker dude thing, goin' on. But last year, there was a guy in my class, Brandon. He's way cuter."

"Does he like you, too?"

"Woah, woah, woah, I didn't say I liked him. I said he was cute." The way Nudge mumbled the last sentence made me laugh a little.

Someone knocked on Nudge's closed bedroom door. Angel opened the door and ran to give Nudge and I a hug.

"Come on! Come on! Everyone's outside!" Angel said tugging on my hand.

"Oh everyone's already here?" Nudge asked.

Angel nodded.

"I'm going to go put on my swim suit then," I said standing up.

"Be fast!" Angel said.

"I'll try to." I walked into my room and quickly pulled on my swim suit and trunks. I found Angel waiting outside my bedroom door.

"Ready?"

"Yep."

We walked out and found Nudge and the others in the swimming pool.

"Jump in Max!" Iggy called.

"Is it cold?" I asked. I didn't like cold pool water.

"It's fine!"

I poked my toe in the water. It wasn't too bad.

"You first." I said to Angel.

"Okay." She backed a few steps, then ran forward, throwing herself into the pool.

"Your turn!" She called.

I backed up a little and jumped over the pool water, waiting for the splash. It hit me like a ton of bricks, though. As the water hit my face and I gasped in a breath, causing me to inhale water. The water hitting my face triggering another memory of my dad. I don't won't go into detail. Too horrible. I'll just say, it involved my dad, me, and the a bathtub.

I push off the bottom of the pool, desperately trying to reach the surface. I finally surfaced, gagging and choking and spitting water. Fang had his arm wrapped around my waist keeping me from going under again. Nudge was holding my hand as I coughed once more. Why do these memories keep coming back? They never used to happen unless it was a very similar situation!

"Max are you okay?" I looked up and saw Cheyenne, Ben, Mrs. and Mr. Preston standing at the end of the pool. They all looked worried and concerned.

I swallowed again, my throat burning. I nodded, "I'm fine," My voice sounded a bit odd.

"Are you sure?" Ben asked.

"Yes."

"What happened?" Fang said, his hand still wrapped around my waist.

I wiggled free of his arm. "Nothing. I accidentally swallowed water. That's all."

Fang looked as if he didn't believe me. "Okay, do you need anything? I could get you some water, "Cheyenne offered.

"I'm fine, but thanks." She nodded and smiled reassuringly at me, and the adults went back to grilling the food.

Ten minutes later, everyone was swimming and splashing around. Except the adults, who were still grilling the food, laughing about something. I was sitting on the pool stairs. Still being haunted by the memory. My mind was racing with thoughts and I hated it. I wanted it to stop. II took a deep breath, grasping at straws.

I stood up and walked into the house. No one seemed to notice me walking by. I walked through the living room and up to my bedroom. I need to stop this feeling. What happened is over. It won't happen ever again. Forget.

I didn't care if they realized I was gone. I just needed the pain. The blood.

I was squatted down on my floor opening my night stand drawer and pulling out a tissue box. The blade was hidden at the bottom. Under the Kleenex's when I heard, "What are you doing?"

I spun around and met Fang's eyes.

"Nothing, just getting a Kleenex." I shrugged trying to keep my voice from squeaking. I grabbed a Kleenex and wiped my nose.

"Are you okay, Max? You were acting really off after the pool thing." I put the used Kleenex it the garbage can.

I nodded, "Totally fine." I tossed the tissue box into my nightstand, then stood up and sat on my bed. Bringing Rodger close to my chest. Petting his ears.

Fang raised his eyebrow at my stuffed dog.

"Oh... This is Rodger." I kept my arms around Rodger, keeping him safe. I didn't know how Fang would react. Laugh at me maybe, but I didn't really care what him thought of Rodger.

Fang lips slid into a smile, "I like his black ear." I smiled a little back. Rodger was tan with a black spot on his ear and chest.

"Thanks."