AN: Flashbacks
That could have definitely been the most awkward purchase she had ever made in her life, she thought as she opened the brown paper bag. She pulled out the small pink box and read the instructions. It was simple really, pee on a stick and wait five minutes. She could do that. It wasn't like advanced calculus.
She never had been more nervous in her life. She was late, which wouldn't have been abnormal but she was really, really late. Her mother was at work and Meredith was completely alone in the townhouse. She was used to being alone, the house was just a place she slept in at night. She had no emotional memories or sentiments attached to the house. But suddenly, the house was too empty. It was too quiet so she called her best friend, Sadie.
"Die," she said using her old nickname, "Can you come over?" She asked pacing her bedroom, "No Ellis isn't home," she quipped rolling her eyes. "Great, see you soon," she said hanging up. Sadie Harris was Meredith's best friend.
She had known her forever really, and their parents ran in the same circles. Her dad was a surgeon at Seattle Grace, too. Sadie also hated Meredith's mother almost as much as Meredith did because she saw how Ellis treated Meredith. She knew that she constantly disappointed her and Sadie always picked up the pieces. It was how their friendship worked.
"DEATH!" Sadie bellowed from downstairs. "Where are you?"
"My room," Meredith called from her bedroom. "So," Sadie said bursting into her room, "Why the hell…. oh," she stopped talking once she saw the pregnancy test. "No," she gasped.
Meredith looked at her and gulped. "Yeah. I'm late. Like a month and I'm freaking out."
"Are you sure?" Sadie questioned tentatively. "It could be from the pill."
"No, it's not the pill," Meredith continued, "I couldn't be pregnant. It was my first time and we were drunk." She paused. "I can't take the test alone," she added looking at Sadie.
"I'm here, alright, go pee on the stupid stick. You're probably worrying for no reason," Sadie assured her.
"Okay," Meredith said finally walking pointedly to the bathroom. "I guess we're just going to have to wait and see."
She shut the door behind her and slunk down to the floor delaying the inevitable. Her thoughts were racing, she couldn't be pregnant. At fourteen, she had her whole life ahead of her she had so much potential. She had yet to become the person she was supposed to be. God, her mother was going to kill her. She was going to force her to have an abortion or put the baby up for adoption.
Meredith looked down at her chipped fingernails and peeled off some black polish. She couldn't help but think her nails looked like tiny black ants. Concentrating on her nails was a hell of a lot easier than thinking about being a mother. She couldn't have a kid. She was a kid. That in itself defied all laws of parenthood, right? She finally got up, it was truth time.
Five minutes seemed like forever. The test was perched on the edge of the sink, teasing her. The results were in. It was time for the moment of truth, but Meredith just needed to sit there for another minute. She knew, that once she saw the tiny plus sign, she couldn't deny or avoid it any longer.
"Meredith," Sadie called knocking on the bathroom door, "Are you okay in there?"
Meredith got up and let Sadie in, avoiding the test. "Did you look yet?" Sadie asked as the door opened. "No," she mumbled full of misery. "I'm too chicken." Sadie grabbed the test, "Shit, Meredith," she swore. "You are pregnant." She handed Meredith the test so she could see for herself. "Fuck," Meredith groaned. "This can't be happening."
"Well," Sadie began tentatively, "It is."
"Is this yours?" Ellis asked as she stormed into Meredith's room and threw the positive pregnancy test on the bed. Meredith sat up sleepily, she was exhausted and facing her mother's wrath wasn't high priority. "Yeah," she said rubbing her eyes. "I'm pregnant," she confirmed. Damn she should have thrown that test out downstairs.
Ellis was silent. Meredith shifted uncomfortably in her bed and waited for the verbal lashing she knew was coming. "Mom," she began softly, "I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" Ellis said laughing.
Meredith made a face. This definitely wasn't the reaction she'd been anticipating. "Oh, all the crap you pull Meredith, this one wins..." she finished scowling and walked out of her room slamming the door behind her.
Meredith was in shock. She quietly got out of the bed and went downstairs. Clearly, she mused as she reached her mother's office, she was a sucker for punishment.
"Mom," she said gently hovering in the doorway. "Meredith, you know I hate it when you hover. In or out? Make a choice," Ellis said looking up at her from her paperwork.
Meredith slowly took a step in and took a breath, "I don't know what to do, mom," she admitted nervously.
"Meredith, you made an adult choice," Ellis said taking her glasses off. "Yelling and screaming at you won't do anything... I'm definitely angry," she added trying to keep her voice steady. "But," she continued, "I'm angry at myself too," she confessed. "I should have been around more than maybe you wouldn't have..."
"Had sex and gotten pregnant?" Meredith cut in sitting in the chair across from her mother. "It was my first time, mom," she added blushing. And we were too stupidly drunk to remember protection, she added silently.
"You need to come with me tomorrow. We'll get you an appointment with Dr. Kingston and go through your options."
"I'm not terminating, mother," Meredith said forcefully surprising herself. She hadn't been sure of what she was going to do until now.
"Meredith, you're tiny," Her mother said gesturing to her petite daughter. "Your body will be put through hell," she reminded her. "Adoption or abortion are your only options."
"Because me being a parent would be such a terrible, idea, mom," she said standing up. "I know I'm young but I could do it."
"You can't be a mother Meredith," Her mother said with her voice raising. "You have to graduate high school and go on to college," Ellis added mapping out her future.
Meredith shook her head and clenched her fists. "It's my life, mother, it's my choice," she said before walking away.
"Well, if that's what you want, Meredith, you can pack up and leave," she said venomously. "I can also get that boy you had sex with arrested for statutory rape," she assured her.
Meredith knew her mother didn't make veiled or empty threats.
Seven months later...
She had so little control of her life lately. Her body wasn't hers anymore because she was sharing it with a baby.
She felt a hard kick to her rib cage. Ouch, she winced in pain. At almost nine months, her equilibrium wasn't exactly perfect and she spent more time lounging around then she'd care to admit. Her belly was so large, she hadn't seen her toes in months.
She sat down on the couch and lifted up the oversized t-shirt she was wearing, "Baby," she pleaded as she splayed her fingers across her growing stomach, "please stop kicking me. Today sucks a lot, and with your powerful little kicks I really just want to curl up in a ball and cry," she admitted.
Today also happened to be her birthday. She really hated her birthday... Her mother hadn't spent a birthday with her since she was five.
Suddenly, her stomach started to constrict and a sharp pain shot through her back. "Damn it," she swore reaching for the phone. She didn't want to be in labor on today of all days, but apparently her daughter had other ideas.
"Hi, it's Meredith," she said into the phone, "She's coming," she breathed as a contraction hit her like a ton of bricks.
22 hours later...
"She's gorgeous," the nurse cooed as she placed the baby in Meredith's arms.
She was sweaty, exhausted and sore but once her daughter was nestled in the crook of her arm nothing else seemed to matter. "I'll give you some privacy," the nurse said gently before leaving the room.
"Hi," Meredith said softly staring at the pink bundle in her arms, "I'm your mom. Wow, that's weird. A mom. Granted, I'm not the mom that's going to raise you. I picked one for you and I'm sure you're going to love her," she added grinning. "I wanted to keep you," she confessed quietly as the baby grabbed her pinky. "But my own mother is forcing me to give you up, which I understand... somewhat. You see, my mom, she's a surgeon. She's one of the greats and me, well, I'm kind of screwed. I'm too young to support you by myself," she said continuing to ramble. "See, we share a birthday, baby, you and me," she said softly. "I'm fifteen, which for the record is really, really young to be a mom. I don't recommend breaking into the liquor cabinet with a boy and having sex," she whispered. "Stay away from tequila," she advised with a grin. "But anyway," she continued, "I'm going to try and make this short and sweet, okay, because we don't have much more time together." She looked up at the clock, "You're adoptive parents are going to be here soon. I know this sucks, but you're going to have a really good life," she promised as a tear slipped down her cheeks. "I'm sure of it," she continued, "You can look me up, when you're older," she said honestly. "I'd really like to know how you turn out," she said tracing the baby's face. "I love you baby girl."
"Meredith," her mother cut in barging into the her room. "They're here."
Meredith looked down at the baby, "Okay," she said softly. "I guess I'm ready."
