The night felt young. Daylight has always felt foreign to her. It brought a harshness, it showed flaws, it showed who people really were, and Effy didn't like that. At night you could be whoever you wanted to be. Something about the darkness that enveloped her seemed to take away reality. It takes away the sad reality that is life, she thought.
She didn't particularly like spliff. But it did take the edge off of everything. She preferred psychedelics, which took her to a whole different world. Or Ecstasy, which made everything seem fan-fuckin-tastic.
"Alright" Cook's harsh voice broke her stoned thoughts. He threw his J on the garage floor and let it burn a neat little hole in the rug to join the others. "Let's fuckin' head out"
Effy took the last puffs of her joint.
"Jolly. I'm mashed" Pandora said, then let out a giggle. Instead of shaking her head, Ef just gave her one of her famous demure smiles. One that said, you amuse me. Cook wordlessly gave her the rest of his cheap plastic bottle of vodka. She drained the rest in two big gulps. She also liked alcohol. It helped feed the lost and empty feeling inside her. Sometimes it was mind numbing. Most people blurt out secrets when they drink. Some get angry. Others just love everyone. Effy wasn't any of those. It numbed her mind that raced at a million thoughts a second that she never voiced. It made her…almost normal.
She glanced at Cook through the hair that fell in front of her face. At the same moment he glanced back, no stared. He stared at her dead on. His eyes empty. Just like hers. It started off with a list; it was suppose to be amusing. It was suppose to be a game. Maybe it still was. But more pawns were out. The moves were getting trickier and more dangerous. It was a deadly match.
"Where are we going, Ef?" Pandora said as they walked out of the garage.
"I don't know" Effy said. Her voice a little thick from the hash and vodka. They walked down the street, to the bus stop. Effy lit up a cigarette. Her pale pink lipstick stained the butt of it. Pandora was jittery. Jj was jabbering on to Freddie about something that had no interest to her. Cook had busted out his second bottle of vodka. They were such an odd group, not just at the bus stop but in general. The only thing they had in common was that they were all royally fucked up.
Jj just wanted to be normal but biology wouldn't let him. Pandora just wanted to be accepted but her niaveness couldn't help but show, she was more fragile than a human should be. Freddie was just looking for love, but all he ever found was emptiness, like the emptiness inside of her. Katie had to have control over everything or else her little world would crumble. Emily was lost in everyone's shadow. Naomi thinks that being a little lost is an excuse to do anything she wanted. Thomas was just broken. Cook was on a constant search for something more reckless than the last. And Effy was just empty.
Then suddenly Cook was passing her the bottle. She put down a good third of it down her throat before she passed it back to him. She started to play with her lighter. First burning off a stray string on her midnight blue dress, It was originally suppose to be a long shirt, but she didn't do modesty. Modesty was for those who could feel. Then she burned her cigarette but until it was completely blackened. Then she held the flame up to her thumb. She could barely feel it. Maybe she really was empty.
But then she looked to her right, and saw Cook staring at her hand. She quickly let the flame go out. His gaze traveled from her thumb to her eyes. He gave her a little half smile, and then raised the half full bottle in the air in a silent cheer.
