Demon Jokes

AN – Thanks for the reviews and thoughts. Enjoy chapter two…or chapter one since the other was technically a prologue. I need to warn you, in this chapter contains things that I think about often. Things that range from "The World" in my own views and how peace and chaos are different sides of the same coin. I know people don't read to see psychology but to see a story… but just bear with me, everything here is integral to the story.


Naruto's face was apathetic as he watched the older man sit down in front of him in a professional manner. The man was definitely within his fifties if the wrinkles on his face were any indication. The thirteen, soon to be fourteen year old blonde was currently in the middle of his mental evaluation, a test that determines if he was ready to leave the asylum. Of course, that didn't mean anything to him and he was almost one hundred percent sure that he would fail again. After all, if the look in the man's eyes were as genuine as it seemed, he was one of the many that hated him.

"Hello Doctor. Here to fail me again?" Naruto said sarcastically, looking to draw out some sort of reaction from the man. The smirk on the old man's face was all he needed to know that his previous assumptions were correct.

After meeting the fox in his stomach, everything fell into place.

"Now, now don't be so haughty young man. At least try and we'll see if you can get out." The doctor replied in a kind voice. Naruto didn't buy into it but played along.

"Really? Awesome! Now I can go back and be the Hokage!" The blonde boy said with false enthusiasm.

"Oh no, no, no… one step at a time young man, after all, you're still in here." Naruto nodded, getting ready to be evaluated for the ninth time since his arrival to the institution.


Hours later…

Laying down on the bench in his small, box like room, Naruto contemplated whether or not he should bust out now…or later. It was a difficult decision to make seeing as how he was torn between his two loves. One of them was freedom, the desire to do as you pleased without any repercussion. The second love…was comedy. While he could break out now, it wouldn't be as funny as it would be if he did it later. If he broke out now, then the moment will simply dull and the break out would be forgettable. What he truly aimed for was to make his escape a message and something that will be remembered till his death.

"Now…or later?" Escaping the institute would be a simple thing to do. A few weeks ago, the giant fox taught him how to destroy things with chakra. He even remembered the words the fox had said when he was learning it.

"Chakra is a weapon. It grants human the power to cause destruction… No matter what the justification is, if you are learning how to use chakra, you are going to learn how to kill. It is inevitable."

He thought those words over. If that were true, then why did the academy insist on focusing on the non-killing parts of chakra use? It confused him… when he was in the academy, using chakra was about as simple as reading about it. Were they trying to shelter the children and tell them that being a shinobi meant that you would gain superhero powers and stop evil?

It was foolish and dishonest, the blonde thought to himself. Shinobi aren't human. They are mere weapons that are destined to destroy and destroy each other until they all died. The cycle would continue until time itself stopped which is highly unlikely.

For some reason, Naruto found it funny that he used to look up to the Forth Hokage. Just now, he realized the man was just another weapon. Granted, a super weapon if the stories about him were true but a weapon nonetheless. People saw him as a hero…but they ignored the fact that he was also a killing machine.

"One person's hero is another person's villain. They are simply on both sides of the same coin." Are people so ignorant to the logical facts? To be Hokage meant that you had to kill and kill until you were given the reward. Not that there was anything wrong with killing, he thought again. Death was natural in this world.

After all, it would be hypocritical of him to think badly of killing seeing as how the first time he killed, he enjoyed it. Why did he enjoy it? Simply because he thought he was doing a right. A right that was apparently a wrong to the eyes of everyone else. Naruto truly believe that what he did was for the better of society at the time… a way to simulate eternal peace for the world. It was a foolish endeavor, he later concluded. Eternal peace is a futile goal.

Peace existed…but it is only fleeting. Chaos on the other hand, could go on for years and years without change.

Naruto would live in chaos… because it was the only way he knew how to live. What would he do? Become a ninja and fight for "peace"? The thought made him chuckle. It was a joke.

Just like the world, fighting for peace was an oxymoron. People work for it, fight for it, live for it, die for it, but in the end, their peace is chaos for someone else. Where does the line between good and evil lay? Is there even one? If there was, who stands on which side and how would one determine what is good and what is evil?

Are humans even capable of telling the difference between good and evil? The blonde sighed; there were too many questions and no one to answer him. He doubted he could ever find someone to answer them anyways. If he asked a human, they would most likely be biased from their own points of view. If he asked a demon, the answer would only serve to confuse him.

If he asked a god, he would only hear what his heart wanted to hear. That's not what he truly wanted. What he truly wanted…was the raw truth that his mind wanted. Whether or not he would like it, the truth was what he sought out.

He wanted knowledge. Unbiased, raw and uncensored.

Naruto smirked in his cage.

"I will find out soon enough… the hypocrisy of the world."


Hokage Tower…

Sarutobi Hiruzen, the God of Shinobi has known the feeling of guilt. His actions and orders have caused the death of more shinobi than most have even killed by hand. He was the man in power, always trying to use his power to help others and maybe…bring a little peace to the world. Did he always know that people under his command would die? Yes. It was a part of his job and it could not be avoided. Death comes and goes… and he waited for the day it would claim him, not that he was avidly searching for it though.

Looking at the files in his hands, he sighed tiredly. The profile belonged to one Uzumaki Naruto, the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi and son of the Forth Hokage, not that anyone knew the latter besides him and his students, Orochimaru, Jiraiya and Tsunade.

Naruto's profile was always troubling to read. In eight years, Naruto had not changed one bit? That was what this report told him. The doctor in charge was a professional man and he would trust it…or pretend to. Sarutobi was no fool. He knew that others were capable of deception, especially his own people.

Nine years… The boy that he truly cared for and looked after had been locked away in an asylum for the mentally unstable for nine long years. It was those kinds of thoughts that made him truly angry at his position. Yes, Naruto was important but so was appeasing the village's needs.

The God of Shinobi was hardly a suitable nickname for him anymore. He was old, weakened and his mistakes left huge imprints. He regretted many things in his life.

Sarutobi was broken out of his muse when a knock was heard on the door.

"Enter." The door opened to reveal a silver haired man. He wore a face mask and standard Jounin attire. His headband cover one of his eyes like a patch.

"You called for me, Hokage-sama?"

"Yes…we need to talk." Kakashi nodded, noting his grave voice.

"It's about Uzumaki Naruto… You see, I have an idea that may bring him out of the asylum sooner than scheduled. For it to work, I need to get your full cooperation. I plan on putting him on your team when they graduate two months from now and I can get a pardon for Naruto for this specific case seeing as how he did attend the academy. It's either this or he stays for the rest of his term… because I cannot trust anyone else with this." The Jounin widened his eyes.

"But sir! He's only been in the academy for one year! He can't possibly become a shinobi…" The old man gave him a look of questioning.

"Kakashi, do you honestly believe Naruto needed ten years to master the Bunshin, Kawarimi and Henge? He did all that in his first year… the boy was a genius… despite his characteristics." Kakashi was confused by the statement.

"Well it's not like I watch him train but from what I hear, his skills are below average and not to mention that he did not finish the academy. That and he's mentally unstable." Hiruzen felt a little disappointment fill him.

"Kakashi, the boy is as stable as he can be. Do you honestly believe the words of the people that hate him? I certainly don't."

"But sir… I can't handle that… I mean, I don't even think I can teach him any…-" Before he continued, Sarutobi held up his hand and glared at the man. Kakashi was scared. Scared like when he first saw his sensei, Namikaze Minato, truly angry at something. Seeing the kind and gentle old man look at him like that terrified him.

"…Why don't you be honest Kakashi…Tell me, do you hate the boy? You know I hate when people lie to me." He couldn't help but feel a little hypocritical; after all, he lied all the time. The worst of them were to Naruto.

"N-no! Of course not. I just don't understand why you have to pick me of all people! I mean… it's not that I hate him… I just don't want to be invol-" He was cut off.

"So you are a coward? Didn't see that one coming, that's for sure." Hiruzen deadpanned. Kakashi widened his eyes at the accusation. The Jounin stopped talking…almost as if he lost his words. The Hokage sighed.

"Look, I'm gonna make this simple. Will you take Uzumaki Naruto under your wing and train him?" Kakashi shook his head in the negative.

"No, Hokage-sama."

And then there was a tense silence.

Hiruzen sighed and massaged his temples before giving Kakashi a lifeless look.

"Do you know what I fear Kakashi?" The question came out of nowhere. Kakashi didn't answer, afraid to invoke the wrath of the God of Shinobi.

"I have faced death more times than you could ever imagine... I no longer fear death for I am just one man. But what I fear… is Naruto's future. Without someone to guide him, he will turn into the monster that you have all painted him to be. Hell, I bet he'll surpass your initial accusations…" The old man felt a sharp pain in his heart as he said these words.

"If Naruto cannot be guided properly, then the future will not be so bright. He wasn't supposed to be just another follower of the will of fire, Kakashi. He is the will of fire… and once his fires go out, so does the will of the heroes before him, ending a chain that has been set up since the rein of the First Hokage. Without this will, Konoha will fall… that is what my sensei has always told me. Naruto will become an important figure for years to come, whether they are as a hero or a villain. Tell me Kakashi, what will you do when he becomes a villain?" The man answered immediately.

"I will stop him." The Hokage actually laughed at his declaration.

"And tell me, do you think you can stop him if he unleashes the Kyuubi's wrath?" The Jounin widened his eyes. Sarutobi smirked.

"I thought so. Your pride and arrogance has blinded you from logic. Ten years in Konoha's Asylum will drive him to limits and I fear that the Kyuubi will attempt to influence him in this time. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if he turned against Konoha on his own free will. After all, Konoha has given him nothing but hate." Sarutobi paused briefly before continuing. "When the time comes, whichever path he chooses, we will not be able to stop him. He will either save the lives of millions of reap the lives of millions."

"Since his birth, Naruto has been destined to either live in fame or infamy. All my life, I have been pushing the boy towards the light but at the same time, you and everyone else in this village have been pulling him to the dark… hoping that he would become the monster you all want… because your pride and anger blinds you." Kakashi didn't really know what to say.

"Get out of my office Kakashi. Kushina and Minato must be rolling in their graves at what you and everyone else have become." The Third said in a devil like voice, scaring the younger man out of his wits. Quickly fleeing, he left to wherever he would usually go when he was scared.

Sarutobi felt a single tear escape his eye. He trusted Naruto, he really did but it was against all odds that he would recover from this… he wouldn't be surprised if it was too late.

"I'm sorry… Minato, Kushina… I guess… that was all I was ever good for, huh?"


6 months later…

"It's time."

Naruto smirked menacingly, his eyes turning from sea blue to red. With six months, he had more than enough time to plan his great escape and master the few demon techniques in his mindscape. Eyeing the cuffs on his hands, Naruto began to let the fox's red chakra to weaken it. Demon chakra was capable of destroying anything.

"Indeed." Feeling the cuffs melt off, he began to gather more of the demon's chakra, allowing it to flow through his body.

"Now… for the fun part." Bringing the red chakra to his palms, he formed it into a giant ball and aimed it at the door.

"Bijudama (Tailed Beast's Ball)!" Shooting the ball of energy, the result was a giant explosion that incinerated the door to nothing. Calmly walking through the door, he caught the sight of a lone guard that had heard the explosion. It was a boy that looked like a genin.

"It's the demon!" Was all he got to say before Naruto calmly walked up to him, grabbing his throat violently. The Jinchuuriki's killing intent was flaring incredibly.

"Tell me… how do you feel about dying like this? An absolute piece of trash that amounts up to nothing but cannon fodder. Did you have ambitions? Did you want to become Hokage?" The boy nodded, tears leaking from his eyes.

"Please…mercy." The blonde chuckled and dropped the boy.

"Sure!" And with that, Naruto began to walk the other way where the exit was located. The young genin sighed in relief…before a flare of pain came to him. He looked to the source and saw that his body was starting to melt… from red chakra.

The young genin died a slow and painful death.


"Hurry… Remember what we practiced." The Kyuubi voiced calmly, causing the blonde to roll his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah…" Before he knew it, Naruto saw the doctor from before. The blonde took one glance and realized the man was scared out of his mind. It was an amusing sight.

"Hello Doctor! How are you today?" Flaring his killing intent, Naruto appeared right before him, startling the old man with the burst of speed. The doctor really wanted to run but he was frozen with absolute fear. The smile on the boy's face did not calm him one bit.

"Too scared to talk…Aww… that's no fun…" The old doctor took a step back, fearing for what the boy would do. Naruto smiled sadistically when he saw this.

"Eh…What's wrong with you? Let's put a smile on that face."


"What's going on in there?" A chuunin yelled. He was in charge of guarding the asylum along with his team of eight other genin. Of course, the mission wasn't really intended to attract trouble so he was not prepared for this at all. Out of nowhere, a downright frightening feeling crawled into him and he suddenly ordered the genin around.

He sighed in relief when he saw the lead doctor run outside, seemingly frightened.

"Are you ok sir?" The old doctor nodded.

"T-the demon is out! G-go get him!" The chuunin nodded and ordered the genin to go in as he led.

"We'll handle it! Don't worry; he's not a trained shinobi." And with that, the leader went off to follow his genin.

As soon as they were gone, the head doctor smirked and deformed to reveal a young blonde. The Henge technique was the basic of all basics and was easily enough to fool anyone.

"Wow…that was easy. I didn't think chuunin were so incompetent…" And with that, Naruto henged (transformed) into a regular civilian, intent on walking out of Konoha through the front gates without a fear in the world.

He whistled a jaunty tune as he did so.


Hokage Tower

"Hokage-sama!" A messenger busted through the door, a look of sheer terror on his face.

"What is it?"

"It's the asylum! Uzumaki Naruto has escaped!" A look of shock came to his face before it changed to one of urgency. He felt as if he were just played by fate. Six months! Just six months before he was allowed to leave, he escapes!

"ANBU!" Without even a hint of hesitation, they appeared from the shadows and sped off to find the boy. The old man did not like the feeling that had just entered his stomach. It was a cold feeling, one that he knew all too well. A feeling of terror and desperation, just like when the Second Hokage had volunteered to sacrifice himself against the Kumo strike squad all those years ago. Right before he was named the Hokage.

"No…no… Why now! The chuunin exams and now this? Damn it all!" It was a rare sight to see the Third Hokage so angry, an experience that would make anyone panic.

"Where the hell is Jiraiya when I need him? Someone go find him and bring him to me immediately! Make sure that Orochimaru hears none of this… we cannot allow a showing of weakness to Suna (Sand) or Oto (Sound)!"


Somewhere in Konoha

"Kakashi-san!"

Hatake Kakashi was currently in the Jounin lounge, waiting for his genin to finish up with the first exams. Just a few hours ago, he felt a sinister vibe in the air but shook it off, reminding himself that he was in his home village and nothing would happen. That was of course, until a man had arrived in the lounge and informed everyone of Uzumaki Naruto's escape. The moment the messenger finished his report, panic started to rise within the ranks. A loose Jinchuuriki was not something they wanted… especially if the bijuu had control.

"We have to go find him!" A man spoke from the corner of the room.

"Indeed… This is a matter of national security." Spoke another Jounin, not liking the idea of their Jinchuuriki out in the world.

"Maybe this is for the best. He was unstable and on the verge of insanity the last time I heard." Another random person said, ending it there as Kurenai rose to talk.

"Idiots. If Naruto leaves, then we'll all be in trouble! Not just from the outside but the inside." Not many understood her words, until she began to explain.

"Listen. Ever since his birth, we have mistreated him from the get go. If he leaves now, then some time into the future he will return for vengeance. Another thing is, after all this, the civilian council will earn the rights to announce this incident to the village and the law of silence will be lifted. Do you truly believe that out of nearly three thousand people, everyone will share the same opinion of the mistreatment? I don't hate him and if I don't then surely someone else will see it my way. It will cause public outrage, especially among the children and orphans. Not only that… when the world hears that we banished the last Uzumaki, problems will arise. Kiri will surely come for the boy and hell, Kumo might look for a chance to add another Jinchuuriki to their ranks." She finished.

Everyone was wide eyed at the explanation…except the smarter shinobi in the room of course.

"I agree with Kurenai… We're looking at a possible implosion." Asuma spoke up, eyes narrowed in seriousness. He also sympathized with Naruto… but from the looks of it, they would soon be enemies. Especially if Naruto looked for revenge.

"Naruto was always the most important piece to Konoha… if we lose him, then we'll basically lose an arm. Like when Tsunade left the village…" Was the last thing Kurenai said before rushing out of the room, intent on finding the young Uzumaki.

Kakashi was quiet through all this but agreed with Kurenai's assessments. He went out to search for Naruto, looking for any possible exits the boy would take. After all, Naruto knew the layout of Konoha like the back of his hand. He always did explore often as a child.


Root Base

"Danzo-sama! Uzumaki Naruto has escaped the asylum and has gone missing!"

Shimura Danzo was not one to panic and not even in the face of this current crisis would he do so. He knew of the Jinchuuriki. The boy brings many memories of his failures…his attempts to train the boy were all shot down by the Hokage. Danzo knew Naruto was integral to Konoha's future, especially since the news of Hanzo the Salamander's defeat reached his ears not so long ago. Powerful shinobi were starting to arise in the world and Uzumaki Naruto was to be their ace.

"Send five platoons after him… Konoha needs more power if we are to survive the coming storm. Failure is not an option." He ordered apathetically.

Though he was calm… the feeling of anxiety started to creep around. Something he had not felt since the loss of the Second Hokage. The thought seemed to amuse him for a moment.

"I'm sure Sarutobi is feeling the same way…"


Chuunin Exam room…

Ibiki felt a shiver run down his spine, a subconscious alert usually signaled the entry of an ANBU that had just entered the room through extreme stealth. He looked at the soldier from the corner of his eyes as he walked up to him while putting the genin under a powerful Genjutsu. The moment only last a second as the masked man gave him a note with a message that nearly made him widen his eyes.

He kept his face straight… feeling a calm that unnerved him.

A storm was coming and it involved Uzumaki Naruto, the boy that held the most powerful of the Bijuu.

Out of all the genin contestants there, only a few noticed this. One of them was Kabuto, the right hand man of Orochimaru of the Sannin. The other was Gaara of the Sand, the Jinchuuriki of the Ichibi no Shukaku. He noticed the ANBU the moment he entered the room and quite frankly, it disappointed him to see that no one else had picked up on this.

"Perhaps the competition here is weaker than I expected… This will not be acceptable."


Elsewhere in Konoha…

Jiraiya of the Sannin was revered throughout the world for his stealth and power, a combination that made him one of the most feared shinobi in history. Even though he was a big man with a humongous amount of chakra, he was able to hide it all away. This was why he was known as Konoha's resident spymaster.

So it was a surprise to him when a man snuck up on him in the middle of his research. Turning around quickly, he saw the Hokage. Probably the only other person that could sneak up on a master.

"Sensei… what's up?" He asked, completely unaware of the current crisis.

"You have goofed off long enough. Naruto is gone and no one can find him." This surprised Jiraiya.

"What! When did this happen?" Sarutobi sighed, looking at his student with pity.

"A few hours ago after he escaped the asylum." The bigger man widened his eyes.

"Dammit! It's just one thing after another huh?" Sarutobi nodded.

"You need to find him before it's too late. If he leaves now then he'll never return as the hero. He'll return as the villain." Jiraiya nodded and immediately left the area.

He remembered when Sarutobi first told of Naruto's imprisonment in the asylum. Never in his life was he so angry with the world around him. It was unfair towards the boy. If what he heard was right, then the boy had every right to do what he did. The killing part was bad, nothing could excuse that but Naruto wasn't raised with morals.

"Shit, shit, shit… This is bad, really bad…"


Meanwhile, Fire Country.

Naruto smiled when he saw the distant sight of Konoha's gates. It was a simple matter of walking into a large crowd of people and blending in. No one really asked questions as numerous people walked in and out all the time. As the nature of the chuunin exams atmosphere.

"Hm… wonder where the closest town is." And so, he took off in any random direction.

Unknowingly, he headed towards the country of Wave. The city where nothing but anarchy laid after the sudden death of Gato. Wave was home to criminals alike…


END

And now I will tell you all what happened to Wave without a Naruto there. Did Haku and Zabuza die? How did Gato die? Why is it in Anarchy?

I apologize for the short chapter. I was running out of ways to end the chapter on a good note. The next one should be longer, seeing as how my story line will kick in. After all, anything can happen in Anarchy.

I can already image a few critiques of this chapter. Naruto leaving a village full of shinobi so easily...bla...bla. Yeah, yeah I know. I tried to portray him as a genius early in the fiction. And yes, all the Kyuubi taught him were demon techniques. Only two or three. Not that he would need anymore than that to wreak havoc and spread anarchy.

Thanks for reading. If you have any questions, pm me. If you spot something wrong with my time line then feel free to correct me… or try too. I'm not really know for my lore.