"Always forever."

That was the last thing I said to him.

I hate plane rides. Not because California to New Jersey is a ridiculously long flight, but because it gives me too much time to think. I should have brought my laptop or something to play with. Maybe I should have brought someone to talk to. Not talking through this is driving me crazy.

Mom and I were having dinner when Stacy called. Mom jokingly calls her my would-be-stepmom, which I think has some truth to it. She would be my stepmom if Dad wasn't so stupid sometimes, but then again, even genius is allowed some stupidity.

I hate asking my mom to pay for my flights, that's why I haven't made this flight lately. Maybe I should have been more persistent, but Dad and I have kind of grown apart. Last time I was there, he had to go to that conference in Louisiana and ended up cutting my visit short. Then Nana died and I didn't want to leave Mom alone at Christmas… It's funny how things snowball.

Dear God, I know we don't really get along, let alone speak on a daily basis, but I have a few things I'd like to say to you. One. Sorry about telling Father Peter and all the kids in my religious education class that the Bible was just Roman political propaganda written to reign in women. While it's still true, I recognize that religion class was not the place to tell everyone this. Two. Help my dad. He's too young to die. He's supposed to live forever.