A/N: You guys like me! You really like me! *sniffles and wipes tear from eye* I know, I know. I'm really sorry that I didn't update this sooner. *dogdes brick that was randomly thrown* I had trouble with the ending of this chapter and I had to keep revising it, so I hope you guys and gals like the way it turned out. A special thanks to the following for alerting, faving, and reviewing:
Shadowno, Stardust4, Divine Arion, Afro Spirit, death wish girl, Taker-took-my-Toys, RevolutionZwei, Hobohunter, cjjs, and moonbeam1987. You guys are TOO awesome. Hugs to you all!
Also thanks to pinkcookiemonster, WeskersGurl, .Wolf for faving and alerting. I appreciate it!
Sit back, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the craziness!
Disclaimer: I would love to do my epic RE voice but my throat is dry XD. I do NOT own anything in this story, not even Sam XD. Although I wished I owned Wesker XD.
Chapter 2
Barry sat at his desk, fingertips tapping away nevously. He was screwed. Once the Alpha team got a hold of his little Krispy Kremes escapade video tape, they would never let him live it down. To make it worse, if Bravo team even knew about said video tape, they would humiliate him to no ends. The teasing, the donut jokes, and not to mention the donut pranks they would pull on him. He couldn't have that happen.
"What am I thinking," Barry said to himself. "I should be more worried about what the Captain will do to me."
Once he finds out he'll thrust punch the living daylights out of me. Or worse! He'll chikyo kick me to an early grave. Boy does that look like it hurts. I've seen him do it before and the poor victim had to pick up every single tooth that fell out and even had to get emergency surgery to take the back of Wesker's heel OUT! Think, Barry think. I don't want to be Wesker's bitch, thats Chris's job.
Just then, out of nowhere, a light bulb appeared above Barry's head.
"Ah-ha! A light bulb! It means I must have an idea!"
The light flickered off just as quickly as it appeared.
"Whoa, brainfart! What was I thinking?" And the light flickered back on and thankfully it stayed on this time. "Oh yeah, I have an idea! Again!"
Krispy Kremes
Wesker paced back and forth, every now and then he would stop, run the palms of his hands through the sides of his already slick backed hair, and pat the top to make sure it was still in place. It was known as the Wesker Pat Down. He was having seconds thoughts as to why he accepted such a low assignment. They were the Alpha team. They were suppossed to be the "Top Dogs" of the RPD. They were suppossed to go out on rescue missions, save people from disasters such as viral outbreaks, use zombies as target practice, and set off a few self-destruct systems in the process. Now this, this was just beyond him. He really couldn't turn it down, the past couple of weeks had been pretty uneventful.
"Alpha team, listen up. We must catch the culprit that did this. Jill, look for as many clues as you can. Chris I need you to question and apprehend anyone who looks suspicious. You," Wesker said trying to remember what the other Alpha team member's name was.
Joseph mouthed the words me in return while pointing to himself.
"Yes, you. What was your name?"
"Joseph, sir!"
"Right, John. Get me some tea."
"It's Joseph, sir."
"Thats what I said."
"You said. Oh, nevermind," Joseph said while walking away.
The captain made his way to the surveilance room knowing if there was anything they could do to catch the culprit, it would be on video.
Somewhere in a dark alley
Barry stood in a tan trench coat that stopped right above his ankles. He flipped the collar of the coat in an upward fashion that covered his mouth and most of his nose so that all you could see were his tiny sunglasses. To finish off his stalker costume, he wore a dark brown fishermans hat, black loafers with matching gloves, and white tube socks that had red stripes on the a light breeze between his legs, he looked down to see that he wasn't wearing any pants.
Great!, Barry thought to himself, how could I have forgotten my pants! I probably look like one of those predators at a park who flash people. Maybe I have time go back and-
"Heh-heh-heh, see strangah, told ya I'd have somethin' that might interest ya," the mysterious merchant said while pulling out an unmarked videotape.
"Here you go," Barry said while snatching the tape and shoving a tiny bag of pesetas into the merchants hand.
"Not enough cash!"
"What? I gave you twenty five hundred."
"Strangah, ya gave me twenty four hundred forty nine."
"Twenty five!"
"Twenty four forty nine, heh-heh," the merchant argued back.
Thirty minutes later after arguing over one peseta and Barry counting every single one, they came to the fact that he was in fact one less peseta from getting the tape.
"Told ya strangah," the merchant said as Barry angrily shoved one shiny peseta towards the merchant. "Thank you, come back anytime."
"Why I OUGHTA!....Wait, do you happen to have any pants in there?"
Back at Krispy Kremes
Wesker couldn't believe that there was no surveilance tape. All he could work with was a sketch composed of a lopsided head, two beady eyes, an L-shaped nose, and tiny lips courtesy of Jill. The captain chuckled as he examined the facial hair that looked somewhat like pubic hair that was drawn on to the face. He shook his head as he pinched the bridge of his nose, Jill was certainly the Master of Unlocking but definitely not the master of drawing.
"Redfield, Valentine. Let us see how far you two can get with this," Wesker said while handing the drawing to them. "I'll be heading back to the station with Josh. Good luck."
"But sir, my name-" Joseph gave up and followed Wesker holding a cup of steaming hot tea.
Jill crossed her arms and observed Chris as he held the picture up and studied each individual who was in the room to see who fit the silly sketch. He stopped suddenly when he came across a male with flaming red hair that came right above his ears, most of it covered his right eye. He wore a cream yellow shirt with a dark blue collar shirt that was unbuttoned and somewhat tucked into his tight camoulflage pants that were being held with a belt that had two tiny gold lugers on the buckle. To top it off he wore a black choker around his neck with a pair of black wrist bands that matched the choker.
"You thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Go back to the station to get front row seats to gawk at Weskers glorious boo-tay?" Jill said not knowing she said this out loud.
"Actually, I was thinking we play good cop bad cop with that guy over there but that sounds like a good idea too."
"What?? Chris!"
"What? I'm joking, sheesh" Chris said while holding his hands up and grining like an idiot ." The back row is just as good."
RPD
Again, Barry sat at his desk staring at the videotape wondering just where he would hide it. As he was thinking, Wesker came in with Joseph following close behind. Barry hid under the desk as quickly as he could, dropping the tape in plain site.
"Hm, what could this be?" Wesker bent down to retrieve the tape and examined it.
"Looks like a video tape sir," Joseph said.
"Of course Jonah, state the obvious why don't you."
Raising a finger, Joseph opened his mouth to tell Wesker his name was not Jonah but instead sighed in defeat and spun on his heels to leave. He knew now that it sucked to be a rookie on any team.
NOOOOOOO, Barry was screaming in his mind. Why me? All that arguing with the merchant over one lousy peseta, the money I pulled out of my kid's college fund for those stupid pesetas, and not to mention sneaking around in a predator stalker disguise which earned me dirty looks from every woman with child or not. All gone to waste. I'm a dead man! If Wesker doesn't kill me, my wife will!
The captain walked over to his desk, video tape in hand. He noticed a pink post-it note that had the words,' Sam was here' scrawled on it. At the sight of this Wesker paled and almost dropped the video tape. He glanced around the room nervously. 'Sam', the name made him slightly twitch. He had to get out of there before 'Sam' caught him off guard, last time that happened it didn't turn out pretty.
Quickly, he opened his desk drawer and changed his sunglasses to his "going home to relax" sunglasses. He managed to grab all his belongings in seconds and just about ran out the door. Jill and Chris could handle the case without his help for now because his safety was more important than some stupid donut munching lunatic . There was nothing worse than a case of fangirl-itis.
A/N: Will Wesker ever get to watch Barry in action chowing down donuts? Who exactly is Chris and Jill going to play good cop, bad cop with? Will the Captain ever get Joseph's name right? Will there be fangirls? Join us next time to find out! Thanks so much for reading and please leave a review of any kind and of course I'll return the favor :). Until next time! XD
