A Day in the Life

By: CrystallicSky

Disclaimer: I don't own Xiaolin Showdown or any of its characters, nor do I make any profit or attempt to with the writing of this or any of my other pieces.

Warnings: Language, sexual implications, homosexuality, etc.

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5:30 AM – Awaken promptly to Circadian rhythm; shower and get dressed shortly afterwards.

5:55 AM – Order Diol down as a sparring partner during morning exercises.

6:30 AM – Wrap up morning exercises and head off to breakfast.

6:42 AM – Spot bacon upon the table and throw a strip to Diol for his excellent work this morning.

7:00 AM – Enter into meditation to remain focused and hyper-'in-tune' with surroundings, things that must be maintained if status as a 'warlord' is wanted kept.

7:30 AM – End meditation and enter throne room.

7:32 AM – Decide to exercise right as lord of all that can be surveyed and survey the commoners. Eye-Spy Orb reports nothing of interest: the Xiaolin are half-training and half-bickering over their chores and who must do what, the majority of the Heylin is dormant, and one is dormant in an entirely different way; Spicer appears to have not yet woken up.

7:40 AM – Ponder as to when Spicer will finally grow up and become something worthy of the mighty and powerful Chase Young; have been wanting to tap that fine ass for quite some time.

7:50 AM – Dismiss it and head to the library for a bit of quiet study.

8:30 AM – Become bored and decide to check on Spicer once more; it seems his alarm has gone off and he is flinging tiredly-slurred curse words at it along with his pillow. Wonder once more when his maturity will be coming in, hopefully soon.

8:45 AM – Be found by a horny Heylin witch. Give the excuse of having an injured warrior to tend to and quickly hurry off: do not want to put cock in that, even if the white ass it should be put in might not be available for quite some time.

9:00 AM – Check in with Spicer again out of lack of anything better to do; he's gone back to sleep and looks as if he'll remain that way for quite some time.

9:01 AM – Briefly wonder if he is dreaming of being fucked by me; would not doubt it, but dismiss the thought.

9:13 AM – Rediscover the cruel mistress that is Karma: the earlier lie to Wuya has come true and a leopard fell down several flights of stairs in a bout of roughhousing with other cats.

9:15 AM – See to all parties involved in the mishap.

9:45 AM – Discover that the leopard's injuries aren't serious and he will recover completely in a few days. Give stern talking-to to him and the other felines anyways, and promise a severe fate should their monkey-business result in something life-threatening.

10:00 AM – Decide to take a relaxing soak in the volcano-heated jacuzzi to calm mildly-frayed nerves.

10:15 AM – SOOOOOO WORKING…

11:03 AM – Acknowledge pruniness and leave hot-tub in favor of drying off.

11:30 AM – Become officially desperate for entertainment; accurately assume Spicer is yet sleeping and cannot provide it and so turn to the internet.

11:45 AM – Collect all useful information on current events and log off of the computer without bothering to read the latest 'celeb gossip' and other such time-wasters.

12:45 PM – Spend the last hour sitting around and staring off into space.

12:46 PM – Declare aloud that something needs to happen before mind is entirely lost to boredom after so many centuries of keeping it vital and strong.

12:47 PM – Realize Karma's wrath once more: found again by Wuya, still hungry for cock.

1:10 PM – Narrowly manage to escape the witch with a myriad of excuses; am actually considering telling her that I have herpes or something to that effect so as to put her off of sex, but knowing her, it would likely do no good.

1:22 PM – Reflect upon the old, Xiaolin days, particularly that moment when Wuya walked in while bathing.

1:30 PM – Realize that that might be why she lusts for cock so greatly; am quite well-endowed and she must know that from that little incident way back when.

1:42 PM – Check on Spicer once more. He actually appears to be awake, now, and it seems he is solving a handful of 'unsolvable' problems. If ever there was need for more proof that he is a genius, this would be it.

1:45 PM – Wonder why he never lets said genius shine through; would allow for tapping of ass to occur much sooner.

2:27 PM – Wuya runs in screaming her fool-head off, this time about a Wu rather than sex (though there is no doubt she would love to have both). Ignore her and decide to simply watch from the comfort of my home.

3:00 PM – Spicer arrives at the Showdown only to promptly have his ass handed to him. Am conflicted between pity at how often he is defeated or jealous rage that he allows the monks to so freely kick what there has been no good opportunity to fuck, yet.

3:03 PM – Prevented from thinking about this further: Wuya is not taking no for an answer. Must flee.

5:10 PM – Coast appears to be clear…

5:20 PM – Spoke too soon; retreat back into hiding.

7:30 PM – Now, the coast is clear. Diol saw the witch kicked out of the palace entirely. She will be back, but not for awhile.

7:35 PM – Give Diol a live sheep upon which to feast for his commendable efforts.

7:45 PM – Am surprised to find Spicer on his way to revisit the monks. Wonder just what he is up to…

8:18 PM – Become rendered too shocked to move; cannot believe what Spicer has just done. May need to lay down.

8:50 PM – Leave bedroom and check in with Spicer again, who has just arrived home. Will likely pay him a little visit…

9:00 PM – Promptly arrive within the Spicer mansion; am pleased to note Jack didn't so much as scream with entrance.

9:05 PM – Make small-talk for a bit. Spicer is a far more interesting conversationalist than he has been given credit for. Could it be that today was his long-awaited maturation point?

9:15 PM – Reveal true reasons for visit: after the little stunt he pulled today, Jack has proven he is a valuable resource to the Heylin side. It would be a pleasure to have him as my apprentice now that he is actually capable of Evil.

9:17 PM – Am displeased to be told no. It seems I have gotten Spicer's hopes up and crushed them one too many times and he is distrustful of my motives behind taking him on; believes that I will abandon him at his first mistake or when he becomes boring. Both are ridiculous as he could never be boring and he's made plenty of mistakes in the past, none of which I have completely abandoned him for.

9:18 PM – Give Jack what I never gave Wuya so as to prove my intentions to him.

10:03 PM – OH, DEAR SWEET GODS, YES.

11:30 PM – Decide Spicer has been convinced enough; am deliriously happy to have finally tapped that which I have waited a ridiculous amount of time to tap and internally realize I may never want to fuck another again: he was that good.

11:35 PM – Jack concedes to offer and returns to the palace as apprentice/consort.

11:36 PM – At the risk of sounding juvenile, AWESOME.

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A/N: Still no comment.