Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara or the songs from which the chapter titles came from. I do, however, own all OC's.
Pairings: Ikuto/OC, Ikuto/Amu, Minor Utau/Kukai and Rima/Nagihiko
OC information: A girl named Misaki Mashiro. She is the twin sister of Rima Mashiro and the soon-to-be ex-girlfriend of Ikuto. As was mentioned in the last chapter, she was invited to join Maru as an unofficial Guardian, but she declined. She has a sour relationship with Rima and Utau (Utau for obvious reasons).
Other OC's: Maru Nikaidou (Yuu Nikaidou's younger sister) and Chikako Amakawa (Tsukasa Amakawa's daughter)
Time period: Just after the final battle
((By the way, this final battle is different to the one in the manga/anime. I always imagined the final battle as an all-out attack against Easter. And this is the aftermath of it.))
It's over.
It's over.
It's over.
It's all I can think. But strangely enough, the words don't bring despair. No, they bring hope. Because…
We won.
"HELL YEAH, EASTER!" Kukai cheers, punching the air triumphantly. "THAT'S HOW THE GUARDIANS DO IT, YOU HEAR?"
Kukai's declaration seems to shatter the shocked atmosphere and everyone starts cheering. Everywhere you look, there's someone cheering and laughing and screaming their hearts out.
I look to my right. I see Chikako and Yukari clutching at each other, shrieking happily and jumping up and down. They barely know each other, it's true, but they're so happy they don't even care. They probably don't even realise who they're grabbing. I also see Kukai clapping Kairi on the shoulder, a grin threatening to split his face. Kairi looks equally happy. Utau taps Kukai on the shoulder and surprises him with a kiss when he turns around.
I look to my left. I see Maru and Yaya with their hands linked, spinning around in circles. It's totally out of character from Maru, but she doesn't seem to care. The fighting is finally over, why should she care about how she looks?
I look behind me. That's what surprises me the most. Locked in a passionate embrace are Rima and Nagihiko. My sister and the boy she hated at first sight. The boy I saw her warm up to little by little. In the background I see Tadase trying to talk to Amu, but she's looking for someone and so he gives up. She runs off in one direction and I lose interest. I, too, am looking for someone. And I find him.
Ikuto is standing off to the side, smiling coolly. But the twinkle in his eyes betray his unruffled exterior. He's exhilarated and we all know it. I'm so happy because the one I love…is finally free. We can be together once and for all without anyone trying to interfere. The thought is so exciting that I start running towards him. But someone beats me there.
And that someone has a lithe figure, soft pink hair and sparkling golden eyes. Sparkling golden eyes that I've watched so many boys fall for. Amu jumps on Ikuto and starts kissing him passionately. I skid to a stop, my brow furrowed in confusion. Eventually I decide that it's Amu's fault and wait for Ikuto to push her away.
Ten seconds.
Twenty seconds.
Thirty seconds.
His arm moves and my hopes are raised, only to be dashed again when I see Ikuto is trying to deepen the kiss. His arms wraps around Amu's slim waist as he brings her closer to him.
Oh, Ikuto.
'Well, Misaki,' I think to myself as I stare at Ikuto and Amu. 'It seems that you lost.'
But as the seconds turn to minutes, I realise something. I didn't just lose today. It would hurt slightly less if this was just a spur of the moment thing. No, I've lost a long time ago. The passion I saw in front of me (partly coming from a mere elementary school kid, to boot) didn't just happen at the blink of an eye. No, passion like this builds up over a period of time. Several months maybe. It's possible even a year. This passion has been building up before I met him. Humiliation burns through me and I think, 'Oh, Ikuto. You couldn't have warned me before I fell in love with you?'
I watch as Ikuto breaks the kiss and sweeps Amu up, bridal-style. The humiliation in me grows. Then I feel my sister's hand rest lightly on my shoulder and the humiliation gives way to heart break. I think what makes me snap is the fact that Rima – my sister Rima – feels sorry for me. I realise the celebrations have stopped and everyone is gaping at Ikuto and Amu in shock. So of course, they're going to overhear what I say.
"Ikuto," I burst out. I don't mean to say it, but it comes out anyway. Ikuto and Amu look over at me. I think they'd forgotten I existed. I barrage on. "Please tell me this isn't happening."
It's a stupid request and I can tell by the way he's looking at me that he's thinking the same thing. He's giving me the same look he gives his friends when they're acting like idiots. For a moment I consider childishly yelling at Amu, 'Have you ever met his friends? Or doesn't he care enough for you?' but I focus on trying to stare at him without crying.
I try to plead with my eyes. I plead with him to drop Amu and laugh. To say he's only joking. Or for the real Ikuto to appear and ask what this imposter is doing with Amu. Anything, just as long as Ikuto will stop breaking my heart. But his own eyes seem to say, 'No deal.'
"It was bound to happen," Ikuto says bluntly. "We belong together."
Oh god.
Nonononononononononononono.
Ikuto wouldn't do this to me. Ikuto would never betray me like this. He's not like all the other boys who can't resist Amu. He's different. He's Ikuto. But maybe that's the exact reason why he would.
My heart is breaking.
"Ikuto," I whisper, crushed. It's all I can get out. Maybe if I say his name enough times then it'll stop hurting when I say it.
Ikuto.
Ikuto.
Ikuto.
No, even thinking it hurts. Ikuto, how could you do this to me? Isn't it enough that I love you? I gave you everything, Ikuto, so why wasn't it enough? Why did you have to go running off to Amu? What can she give you that I can't? Is it because she's prettier than me? It is, isn't it?
I'm painfully aware of everyone's pitying gazes on my back. I turn around slightly to try and draw strength from the presence of my best friends. But then my gaze meets Utau's and her gaze is filled with such pity that I look back at Ikuto.
Oh god. Even Utau feels sorry for me.
"Please don't do this," I plead with him. It's too late though. Ikuto turns around.
"Sorry," is all he says, before he character changes with Yoru and jumps over the buildings into the sunset with Amu clutched protectively in his arms. Desperation wells up in me and before I know it, I'm sobbing like a little baby.
"IKUTO!" I scream until my lungs start burning and I have to take a breath. But I don't pause for long. "PLEASE! I NEED YOU!"
His ear twitches but he doesn't turn around.
He heard me. But he doesn't care that he destroyed me.
And then I feel my heart break in my chest.
I don't know when or how, but soon I'm in a clean white apartment. I vaguely remember one set small delicate hands and one set of soft, slender hands pulling me along and change me into a pair of soft flannel pyjamas that smell like perfume. Then I blink and I'm sitting on a double bed (or maybe it just felt like that). One leg has fallen off the bed so I'm awkwardly half-on, half-off it. The room I'm in is fairly large. Enough for a bookshelf, a TV, a bed and a couch. The couch is positioned so that it's facing the foot of the bed. The door opens and Rima walks in. She must have been the pair of smaller hands that brought me here. She's also in a pair of pyjamas. Without batting an eyelid, she walks over and puts my leg back on the bed. Then she walks around the bed and sits next to me.
"Rima, where are we?" I ask softly. I feel so confused. Or at least I would, if the pain in my chest wasn't blocking out everything. Rima doesn't look surprised that I don't know.
"We're in Utau-chan's apartment. She offered to bring you here and when she asked if I could stay to take care of you…it just sealed the deal."
Surprise lurches through me. It blocks out the pain for just a second. Utau hates me. And so I tell my sister. But then a frosty voice says from the doorway, "Yes, because I let everyone I hate stay in my bed and force me to sleep on the couch."
I look up. Utau is standing there holding a duvet, a pillow and a plastic bag filled with items. She too is in pyjamas. We're all wearing similar pyjamas. Utau must have lent us them. Was Utau the owner of the other pair of hands that brought me here and changed me? Utau crosses the room and dumps the duvet and pillow on the sofa, then clambers onto the bed.
I must be dreaming. Or better yet, I've fallen into another world. One where my sister cares about me, Utau doesn't hate me and Ikuto-
Pain zaps through my chest and I whimper, pressing a hand over my eyes. If just thinking Ikuto's name hurts, I have no idea what I'm going to do if I have to face him again.
"How could he do this to me?" I whisper, bringing my knees up and burying my face in my thighs. "I loved him."
Utau laughs bitterly. "In case you haven't noticed, Ikuto has a habit of stepping on the people who love him."
Of course. The whole reason Utau hates me. Because she loved Ikuto, but he loved me. Well guess what Utau? I guess we're on the same boat now. We've both gotten our heart crushed by Ikuto. Maybe we'll get lucky and Ikuto will hurt Amu, too. No, Misaki, that's a terrible thought! You should be happy for them. Besides, you know what they say. Third time's a charm.
"I thought he loved me too," I say into my thighs, my voice muffled. "So why would he run off with Amu-san?"
"Because he's an idiot," Rima says softly. She curls a hand around my wrist. "Please don't cry, Misaki. He's not worth it."
"He's my world, Rima," I whisper back in a shaky voice. Because he is. He's been my world since I met him and at this moment, it feels like he'll be my world until I die. "He's worth it to me."
"There's plenty of other fish in the sea," Utau quotes, before blinking in surprise as if she hadn't meant to speak. I snort.
"Ikuto's a cat. He'd eat those fish."
Utau opens her mouth, then closes it and shakes her head. "Last time I ever use a clichéd saying," she mutters.
Maybe it's my fault he's with Amu. Maybe I didn't see him often enough. We only saw each other during lunch. Sometimes on the weekend if we bumped into each other. Or maybe I was too clingy. I saw him every day. Almost. Oh god, the fact that I don't know why he left me is driving me crazy. Almost as much as the fact that he did.
Almost.
"Oh god," I choke through my sobs. "It hurts so much."
I'm shocked when, for the first time in our lives, Rima acts like an older sister (she's older by fifteen minutes) and pulls me close to her. She strokes my hair as I cry into her shoulder. And even though this is Rima whose shoulder I'm crying into, I keep clutching at her and let all the hurt and pain pour out of my eyes. Having my sister there for me feels…nice. Like her arms are pillows that protect me from everything in the world that is being sent my way. It's like I've fallen off a bridge that is much narrower than I thought it would be, and Rima is the person who's trying to stop me from falling.
"It'll be okay, Misaki," Rima whispers in my ear, continuing to stroke my hair. "It'll be okay. Let it all out."
I so badly want to believe her. I want it to be okay. I want to forget about him. I want one day to be able to laugh and say, 'Ikuto? Who's that?'. But all I can think of is the words that I heard Nagihiko's mother say to Maru at a sleepover when she found her crying over a bad break-up. "The hurt lessens over time, but it never disappears completely." Even Chikako had agreed with the words.
"I just want the pain to stop," I say miserably.
"I want it to stop, too," Rima tells me. "Because you're my sister. Please, Misaki, he's not worth it."
"But he feels worth it!" I wail. "I don't want to feel like he's worth it, but it does! I would have died for him, but-"
"And you are," Utau cut in. She glowers at me with those large purple eyes. "Don't you see what you're doing? You're killing yourself. Ikuto probably isn't even thinking about you right now but you're still killing yourself over him."
Something inside me snaps. "Because I love him!" I scream at Utau. I want to go over and slap her pretty face.
"Well I did too!" Utau yells back. "Do you really think you're the only girl whose heart has been broken by Ikuto? Don't you think that I've been hurt by him? But did I act like a complete sap and sob my eyes out? No! I waited it out and because of it, I have Kukai-kun!"
The room is dead silent as Utau finally stops ranting. Her cheeks are flushed from her anger. I don't know what to say. For some reason, it never really registered in my brain that Utau had her heart broken by Ikuto. I mean, I knew she loved him. You'd have to be blind not to. But to have her heart actually broken by him…I guess…we really are on the same boat. For some reason the thought doesn't scare me as much as it should.
"Utau-chan," Rima says quietly. "Don't yell at her. You did cry when you found out Ikuto was dating Misaki. Amu-chan saw you."
I blink and look over at Utau. I really made strong, seemingly unbreakable Utau cry?
Utau just clicks her tongue in annoyance and looks away. I could've sworn I saw a blush on her cheeks though. "Whatever."
Utau reaches back and picks up the plastic bag that she had brought in. It looks considerably full and I think I see a spoon sticking out of it. Utau upends the bag onto the bed, letting the contents spill out. Yep, I was right. There is a spoon. There's several, in fact. Inside the bag (now on the bed) was a few cartons of ice cream, blocks of chocolate, bottles of soft drink and some packets of chips. Rima blinks, touching one of the bottles.
"Utau-chan…"
"I was at the shops before..." Utau mutters, looking stubbornly away with her arms crossed over her chest. "…and I thought she might need food. Even if she is acting like a spineless little bug."
Yes, Utau, just throw in that jab at me. God forbid you miss it.
Still, I can't say that I'm not touched that she actually thought of me. Or that the junk food looks oddly appealing right now. So I grab the closest thing to me (a carton of ice cream) and a spoon, flick off the lid and start eating it like my life depended on it. I don't care that it's half-melted, or that it's triple chocolate fudge (my most hated flavour, since I don't have a very big sweet tooth), or that I'm barely tasting it as it goes down my throat, or that the sweetness is sticking to the inside of my throat. I just want to eat until the emptiness inside me is filled. Because whenever I was sad before, Ikuto would-
Suddenly, it becomes very hard to swallow my ice cream. And since it stays in my mouth, I actually get to taste it. Oh god. I gag and dive for a bottle of soft drink. I quickly undo the lid. It fizzes up but I put my mouth over the top before the fizz can escape. The sweetness from the soft drink is only slightly better than the sweetness from the ice cream, but it's still better. Except now I feel like shoving a stick of salt down my throat. Well…chips are the next best thing. I grab a packet and open it, practically inhaling the packet. Much better. Except now…
"Oh god," I whimper, clapping a hand over my mouth as my stomach churns. "I feel sick."
"Serves you right," Utau mutters. "You weren't supposed to eat everything at once, idiot."
"Why the hell did I just do that?" I moan, flopping back. Rima delicately breaks off a piece of chocolate and pops it in her mouth, watching me carefully.
"Binge eating is never the way to cure heartbreak…" Rima says softly, then in true Rima fashion, adds, "Stupid."
"It seemed like a good idea," I mumble weakly, pressing my hands over my eyes so hard that little spots dance behind my eyelids. Because the more I focus on filling the empty spot in me, the less I have to focus on the reason the empty spot is there. I turn onto my side and curl up into a ball. "Rima…why would he do that?"
I know I must have asked it about a hundred times, but I need to know. What did I do wrong? Did I say something bad? Did I do something to upset him? What does Amu have that I don't? But I can the latter the last question without even having to think about it.
His heart.
"Because he's so weak he couldn't even resist Amu-chan," Rima answers. It's not a good enough answer. Because she can say it over and over again, but it won't stop 'he's not weak to me' echoing in my head. But then Utau gives me an answer. It's an answer that makes me burst into tears and throw my arms around her in a hug (she's too surprised to do anything). It's an answer that is so true that it hurts. It's an answer that is what bonds all of us together.
"Because he's Ikuto."
