Wow guys, you really are awesome. 8 reviews for the first chapter in only a day, that's the best I've ever had :) Thanks so much for taking the time and though I had planned to update weekly, I decided to post this today already. See it as a little thanks for turning a totally crappy day into a not half as bad one. ;)
Responses:
starcrazed: Duncan hasn't fled the country, he's still there, just that he's not himself anymore due to the pills he's taking. The next chapter will be out of his POV, so you'll get to know more about him soon ;)
Thelma: Thanks so much for pointing the time issue out. I usually mess things up with it and only notice way too late. Hm, I now have two choices, either I'll postpone Lilly's death to... say the 3rd of March so that it fits with the next year starting, or I'll have to write things in April, in the middle of the term... I'm having to think about it, cause it's important that it's half a year since Lilly's death... I'll decide before I post the next chapter.
Anyways, I hope you like this chapter, I'm not entirely happy with it, but I'm tired of working it over again and again, so bear with me if you don't like the scene between Duncan and Logan or think it's out of character. It just needs to be in the story in some way.
Enjoy reading ;)
Chapter Two
"Wake up and face me, don't play dead cause maybe
Someday I'll walk away and say, "You fucking disappoint me!"
Maybe you're better off this way"
(Passive – A Perfect Circle)
Veronica was so sick of it. She was sick of having to deal with the past all over again every day. She had come so far during the last half year, she had grown stronger and tougher than she had ever thought she could be. She had stood by her father and didn't regret it. She had lost her best friends and had survived it. She had learned to fight and to not let anybody get to her - at least not visibly.
But she still couldn't help but be disappointed every time Logan Echolls made another move against her. Every single word he said hurt her, even though she buried these feelings so deep inside that she could convince the world they weren't there. And every word Duncan didn't say hurt nearly as much. She had seen him becoming more and more like some sort robot. He was rarely smiling and she had noticed how he and Logan had drifted apart as well. It seemed like Lilly's death had broken up the little family they had built over four years, completely and entirely.
Logan had become a complete jackass and had lost the kind side she had used to love. He hadn't shown it very often, but to her he had opened up and Veronica had seen beyond the tough façade he used to put up. She didn't doubt that he was still the guy who used to be her best friend somewhere deep down, but she was afraid that he wasn't opening up to anyone anymore, that he was closing off from the world. She knew how it felt to not be able to trust anybody and what it was like to be all alone, she didn't want that for him. But she knew that she had no choice in that matter, he had banned her from his life and had made it crystal clear every day since that their past friendship had meant nothing to him. And she was honestly growing tired of thinking about him; so she might not be able to not care, but she sure as hell would try her best to get over these stupid feelings of friendship she still somehow held against all reason. She wouldn't let him hurt her any more if she could help it.
Duncan was even worse than Logan in some way. He wasn't lashing out on Veronica and she was thankful for that. He ignored her, but she could deal with that. The thing was, that he wasn't just ignoring her, he was pretty much ignoring anyone who tried to move past the fences he had put up. Though he and Logan weren't fighting, Veronica had noticed how Logan had thrown his mate a few half lost, half angry glances and she had quickly figured out that it was because Duncan wasn't himself anymore when Logan needed him to be his best friend again. It was like the part that had made Duncan... well, her Duncan, had died together with Lilly. The old Duncan wouldn't have let Logan start a hate-campaign against Veronica, no matter what had happened between them. He wouldn't have let things get as far as they had gotten.
At least that's what Veronica liked to believe. Though a little voice in her head kept on telling her, that she had never thought he'd be capable of breaking up with her the way he did. Just ignoring her from one day to the other. The night before, he had told her he loved her and the next it was like she didn't exist anymore. This was something she couldn't blame on Lilly's death since it had happened weeks before that.
Still, she couldn't believe that it had taken her months to notice that Duncan and Logan weren't on the best terms anymore either, that it wasn't just her life that was pretty messed up.
Flashback
Veronica had just left her last class and was walking towards her car. When saw that a big yellow x-terra had parked next to her old Le Baron, she knew that she was in for some more trouble. Logan wouldn't just park next to her out of coincidence. No, he must have had a reason for that. So she crouched down when she came to her car and checked the tyres and, after she couldn't find anything suspicious, she even checked the brakes. She didn't really think that Logan or anyone else from school would go THAT far, but she would rather be sure and safe than doubtful and dead. While now laying halfway underneath the car, she suddenly heard voices. Very familiar voices.
"Come on DK, school's over now, isn't that worth a smile?"
"It's not even weekend."
"So, you're planning on actually cracking a smile this weekend? Wow, I gotta alert the media."
"Shut up, Logan."
"Right, that's the way to go DK. Don't engage in any conversations, don't you dare to feel anything but numb. And of course don't forget to take these white little happy pills in the morning, they are SO good for you."
"What's your problem, man? That's none of your business."
"You're my best friend, so it is my business."
"And here I thought you're supposed to have my back."
"That works both ways DK, and you haven't had my back once ever since…"
"SHUT UP! Can you just start driving already? I got things do to."
"Alright. But why don't you give me a call whenever my best friend comes back from the dead?"
"Screw you. I'm taking another ride, thanks." With that she hear Duncan walk away.
Unbeknownst to anyone she hid out under her car until Logan had taken off too. When she emerged, she was pretty much gobsmacked and wondered how she had missed things getting this bad between Logan and Duncan. The next days though it seemed like the conversation she had overheard had never happened, Logan and Duncan hang at lunch and joked around with their friends as usual. Duncan was back to his robotic and most of the time passive self.
Flashback End
Veronica sighed and collected her things when the bell rang. She shook her head slightly, halfheartedly scolding herself for being a complete mess all day. She knew that it was Lilly's anniversary and that she had every right to grief, but there were also people who needed her help and school that needed to be done if she wanted to get a scholarship. She had thought that she had at least not shown too much just how out of it she really was, but if even Weevil had noticed and had decided to come to her at lunch today in order to cheer her up, she knew that it was bad.
The only good thing about today was that she could be sure that Logan wouldn't try anything today. She knew that he was hurting as well and while she secretly wanted to share her pain with him and to find comfort in him like she always used to, she was glad that he hadn't shown today, or at least she hadn't seen him. She wasn't sure if she could face him today.
Suddenly she ran into somebody and all her books fell onto the hallway floor. She quickly kneeled down and started to collect them. Great, just what she had needed today.
"I'm sorry, didn't see you there." She said quickly, not looking up at whom she had ran into.
"It's no problem."
Her head shot up. She met familiar eyes and yet she couldn't see the person she had once loved in them. Duncan Kane looked like a walking corpse rather than the sweet guy he used to be. They had their eyes locked for a few moments and Veronica thought for a second to see something change in his look, but it was gone the moment she had seen it.
"Duncan, I-" She started, her voice barely more than a whisper.
But she didn't get any further, because Duncan just walked away like she hadn't said anything at all, like she hadn't been his girlfriend for nearly two years.
That was the 35th try on my side to reach out. And the 35th time he just ignored me. It's been seven months since he last talked to me. I guess that makes me officially the fool who doesn't get the clearest message ever.
She got her things together and stood up again, continuing her way to the next class. She was tired of waiting around, of getting hurt over and over again. It was time for her to just get over it, she couldn't let Duncan disappoint her any longer. So he turned out to be someone she didn't know at all. Maybe they both were better off this way, after all chances were that he really was her brother. Maybe he was better off without her adding any more drama to his life, which was what she seemed to do to everyone she loved.
She sure as hell would try her best to let him go. To let the old Veronica, the girl she used to be finally go. There was no sense in holding on to the shreds of a person that had no place in her world anymore, not since Lilly had died six months ago.
God Lilly, I miss you. You're not supposed to be just… gone. Can't you see how much we need you? Our little family's a total mess. I am a total mess. I've become your red satin, Lils, but it has been a hell of a price to pay. Didn't you say you'd be here when I'd show "my true colors"? Then where the hell are you?
Veronica quickly entered the girls bathroom after having spontaneously ditched class and hung up an out of order sign. The minute she had thrown her bag on the floor and had reached the sinks, she broke down on the floor, crying, letting out all the tears she had held back during the last months.
I need you.
Ok, this was it for now. I should get around to put the next chapter up during the next two days or so. It's from Duncan's POV like I already mentioned earlier. These three start chapters are like the prologue to the story, just giving some insight on how the three characters feel about the story. From chapter 4 on it'll be more action, more drama, more interesting and more fun to read. Make me happy, leave a review ;)
