The Way Things Go

Part 2 : The Way Things Started Sucking

You somehow found yourself outside of a door reading, "The Office of Koenma", in the Sprit World after taking a portal from the forest. You were still slung over Midget Man's shoulder, drumming your fingers on his back, impatiently.

Honestly, if someone had told you the previous morning that you'd end up in such a predicament, you'd probably have punched them in the face and then peeled their retinas off with your nails. Of all the places to end up.

Your record wasn't exactly clean, either.

The door opened and an obnoxious voice shrieked, "Come in! It's about time you got back! I've been waiting all morning!"

Midget Man threw you onto one of the two sofas, and Aiko sat next to you. The two red heads claimed the other sofa, leaving the hair gellers to stand.

"About time," you spat shooting glares around the room at anyone who would dare make eye contact with you.

There was a desk in the centre of the room and standing on the chair behind the desk was a black haired toddler with a blue pacifier in his mouth, adorned in a really stupid looking hat. You couldn't help but feel bad that his mother had dressed him so poorly. Next to the toddler was a nervous looking ogre.

"Gross, I hope they don't expect me to baby sit," you thought, scowling at the little monster.

Babies were the foulest evil in the universe in your book.

However, the toddler placed his palms against the top of the desk and spoke. "Hello. I'm Koenma, ruler of the Spirit World," he declared, sounding very dignified.

"So, you're the Koenma I've heard so much about," you said looking him up and down, a blank expression on your face, before bursting into an uncontrollable fit of giggles. "God, is that a pacifier?! No wonder your 'Team Urameshi' is so screwed up!"

"Yumiko!" Aiko hissed elbowing you in the ribs, her eyes wide with embarrassment. With the grace of a blind elephant, she stood hurriedly, nearly falling over and bowed. "Lord Koenma, sir, it is an honour to meet you," she grovelled, fixating a glare on you out of the corner of her eye.

"Yes, Aiko, go ahead and kiss Koenma's ass. It's very flattering," you muttered so only she could hear, glaring back at her.

"Thank you." A smug smirk had found its way on his face, obviously pleased at being revered. "I have called you to my office today, because it has come to my attention that two of you recently destroyed an entire village, and with it a certain young lady by the name of Mai."

Shrugging, you grumbled in the most disrespectful voice you could manage,"Yeah...so?"

You'd be damned if Koenma thought both of you were kiss asses.

"Mai was my backup spirit detective, you imbecile!" The piercing shriek caused you to have to cover your ears, while the toddler shook his little fists at you.

"Umm..sorry?" you offered, lowering your hands, sounding insincere.

Everything was starting to settle in your brain, and that moment of realisation kicked in, that moment where you finally understood what was happening and that there was absolutely nothing you could do to save yourself from the gruesome fate that lie ahead.

"You will be punished. I was just going to have you shipped to the Punishment Department, but the damage you left on that town has intrigued me." Stroking his chin he continued. "You have two options : either you can work off your punishment by helping find and capture the demon, Jing Satomba, with Team Urameshi," he said pointing at Team Urameshi, making you cringe. "Or you can stay on house lock down in a dojo not far from here, where you will sort out, fax and scan my papers." A wicked grin curled on his lips. He knew he had you cornered.

"Objection!" you screamed, jumping up.

He slammed his hands on his desk. "Denied!"

"Yumiko! Stop being rude." Aiko turned to Koenma. "We'll join Team Urameshi," she replied. "We will help you find Jing." You were the only person aware of the fact that Aiko was shaking.

"What?! No freakin' way in hell!"

"Well, it's better than house lock down isn't it?" she spurred venomously.

You scowled, crossing your arms, "Whatever."
"Good, very good indeed," mused Koenma. "You'll be living in a house on Nigenkai now with Team Urameshi. My assistant, Botan, will brief you on the mission. Oh," he added as an afterthought, his narrowed eyes resting on yours, "if you try anything funny, I can and will extend your sentence."

"But-!"

However, before you could further protest, you were all ushered by the blue ogre to a portal, taking you back to Nigenkai.

You arrived at Team Urameshi's house, the headquarters for the group of baboons you would be spending God knows how long with. You looked at the four guys, wishing for a meteor to fall out of the sky and hit you.

"So you're Yumiko?" the girly red head inquired, politely.

"Yep," you mumbled, obviously not pleased about being enslaved to a baby.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Kurama. That's Yusuke," he said pointing grease monkey with too much hair gel, "that's Kuwabara" he said pointing to the ugly ginger, "and Hiei is the one who carried you to Koenma's office."

"What a crew. I'm surrounded by incompetent idiots," you thought.

The short guy, Hiei, snapped his head in your direction, glaring at you like you were the Ebola virus incarnate.

"Especially that one," you thought, giving him an equally dirty look.

"I'm going to go mad listening to their ignorant thoughts," he muttered, slinking off to the closest window.

Raising an eyebrow as you watched him leave, you said to yourself, "It seems we have a telepath on our hands."

"I'm Aiko," your sister chimed in, smiling.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, enough getting acquainted. Where do we sleep?" you asked, impatiently.

He showed Aiko to her room, and you to yours. You're room was white with a small wooden bed with had red sheets and wooden table and chair, and on the far side of the room was a balcony.

"Can I redecorate?" you asked Kurama, sickened by the thought of how much your room resembled a mental institute.

He smiled, obviously happy to not be snapped at. "Yes, but not now. Yusuke wants us to train together, so we can each get a feel for each other's powers."

Journeying out side with your new "team-mates," they led you to a small arena, obviously used for training.

After Kurama was designated the referee, you sat down on the grass. "I ain't going first."

Aiko glowered at you. "Well, then, I guess I will. Who am I fighting?" she asked eagerly.

"Me," Yusuke smirked. "I just hope your tougher than you look."

His comment caused her to blush and scowl, now determined to beat him, as they both stepped into the ring

Kurama raised his hand. "All right, let the fight begin."

Instantly, they charged each other, throwing punches at each other until Yusuke finally landed one in her stomach. Upon impact, she shot a powerful jet of water in his face.

Both stumbled backwards.

Most of the fight went that way, until Yusuke finally got her with his spirit gun, which let to an instant forfeit on her part, and the fight ended.

"I'm impressed, Aiko. You're pretty good." Yusuke panted, seeing the forlorn look on her face. "In a few years you'll be a force to be reckoned with."

"Thank you," she said with a smile.

"Yumiko, you go against Kuwabara," Kurama said, smiling at you.

"What!" Kuwabara whined. "I can't fight a girl!"

"That's okay Kuwabara, I'd feel bad fighting someone so fragile," you mumbled as he walked out of the ring.

"What's that s'pose to mean?!" he snapped turning around.

"Very well." Kurama said. "You can go against Hiei."

"Good, I can get this little peewee back," you snarled. "Bring it on, Nancy."

"Hn."

He drew his katana, and you drew your katars.

"Ready? Begin!" Kurama said, swiping his hand downward.

Hiei charged at you. You blocked a swing from his katana and jumped over his head, grazing his shoulder with one of you blade. Upon landing, he kicked your feet out from underneath you.

Bam. You fell backwards onto your butt, dropping a katar while attempting to no avail to shoot fire at his face the whole way down. The guy was ridiculously fast.

Suddenly, the little creep was right in front of you, katana at your neck snickering. "That was too easy."

"I'll teach you to be cocky," you snapped, the sore loser in you pissed off by the thought of this shrimp beating you, kicked him right in the balls. He fell to the ground, cussing and threatening you in a squeaky voice.

Yusuke and Kuwabara were almost in tears from laughter. Aiko too, but she was trying to be lady like by acting like she didn't find it funny.

"Yumiko wins!" Kurama said trying to suppress laughter at the look on Hiei's face.

"You, my friend, just got owned," you said as you stood up, sticking out your tongue as Hiei staggered to his feet, sending you a death glare.

After that, Kurama and Kuwabara fought so you and Aiko could see their techniques.

They impressed you more than you would admit.

****

The following day, after an evening spent in your room, pouting, you groggily stumbled downstairs with Aiko in a hunt for sustenance, only to find the living room occupied by a girl with a blue ponytail sitting on the couch that was in front of the T.V. Next to her was a short haired brunette and another girl with sea-foam green hair.

"Who the hell are you? God, don't tell me there are more of you," you spat, rubbing your left eye on the sleeve of your giant t-shirt.

"Hello!" proclaimed the girl with the high pony tail, jumping up, bowing exuberantly. "I'm Botan, better known as the Grim Reaper. I'm here on business, well, not that kind of business. Oh and this is Keiko" she said pointing to the brown haired girl "and Yukina" she pointed to the other blue haired girl. "Who might you be? Don't tell me Kuwabara got a girl friend!"

"Gross! No! Not in a thousand years even if he was the last creature left in the universe. I'm Yumiko and this is my sister, Aiko." you groaned.

"Oh! You must be the two knew members of Team Urameshi!"

"Unfortunately" you said grimly.

"Yumiko!" Aiko says elbowing you. With a bow, she added to Botan, "I'm very pleased to meet you.

With a grin, Botan replied, "Nice to meet you too! You'll be a seeing a lot of me in the future, seeing as I tend to brief the team on their missions and tag along for moral support."

"Yeah yeah yeah. Whatever. I haven't unpacked still, so I'm gonna go do that." you mumbled going to the stairs.

"Oooh, I'll help!" Botan said coming after you.

You shuddered visibly. "I can manage."

"Oh no, I insist!"

"Whatever," you muttered through gritted teeth, as you began to scale the stairs.

When you got to your room, you unzipped your backpack and began to pull out the few clothes that you owned.

"Oh my. Are those the only clothes you own?" Botan asked as she helped you hang them in your closet.

"Pretty much."

"But...but...how do you LIVE?!"

"I manage" you said pulling your toiletries out of your bag. "I don't need much, cause we're always on the run."

"From what?"

You rolled your eyes. "Does this Botan chick ALWAYS ask so many questions?" you thought. Aloud you said "From well...." you sat on the bed. You were already done unpacking. "Well, since it's not much of a secret, I guess I can tell you. We're running from Jing Satomba."

"That horrible demon?" she asked, plunking down next to you. "Well, how ironic that Koenma employed you to help catch him. What did you do to make him want to hunt you?"

"I kind of stole something from him," you smirked reaching in your bag. You pulled out a golden bracelet with a full moon in the centre whose craters were comprised of rubies. You thought it was hella ugly.

"Oh my god! Is that what I think it is?" Botan squealed.

"Shut up," you snapped. "You're going to give me a migraine. Yes, it's the Bloodlust. It boosts a wolf demon's physical strength. I stole it to weaken that bastard," you said putting it back in your backpack. "That's why we're always on the run. He wants it bad, and his minions have been giving us hell for taking it."

"Well," Botan said standing up, beaming at you. "You don't have to run anymore, so I'm going to take you and your sister shopping."

"That's really okay," you retorted, getting up. "I have more than enough to live off of."

But, Botan, being the way she is, went on down stairs, with you trailing behind her, announced to the girls on the couch (and Aiko, who was sitting in between them, chatting it up like they were long time friends) that all of you were going shopping.

*****

After an excruciating trip to the mall, the five of you returned to the house at around seven, laden with bags of new clothing. Never in all your life had you been around so many females for such a long period of time, and your brain was filled with the sound of high pitched chatter and giggling.

Trudging up to your room, you put your clothes away and sat on the bed unable to believe that you had survived two days of being in such a mad house.

"Hey, Yumiko!" You looked in your doorway to see Aiko standing there, a large smile plastered on her pretty face, her blue eyes twinkling with happiness.

"Hey, Ai, what's up?"

"We're gonna watch a movie! Wanna join us?"

"Not really."

"Great! Come on!" she said grabbing your hand and pulling you downstairs.

They had picked out some cheesy horror movie, during which you fell asleep , sprawled out on the couch.

You awoke the next morning screaming from the most horrendous nightmare imaginable.

Kuwabara had been wearing a playboy bunny outfit and he had a whip and you and him were about to...to...

The image in your head made you visibly gag.

Glancing around the room, bewildered, you found Hiei sitting in a chair nearby, eating a poptart, looking at you like you were an idiot.

The sound of footsteps made you glance up as Yusuke walked past you to go into the kitchen. "What's with all the screaming?" he asked, yawning visibly.

"Kuwabara...Playboy bunnies...kinky whip!" you gasped, clutching your heart, flattening your ears against your head.

Yusuke paused, looked at you funny and burst out laughing. "Whatever, Yumi."

He proceeded to the kitchen.

"Yumi?" you whispered, looking after him. You hadn't been called that in years. You tried to not seem pleased by the nickname.

Hiei was snickering. "So, how were your dreams last night? Were they...enjoyable?"

At first you didn't understand. Then it clicked. You turned your head slowly to face him. "Yoooou." you said through gritted teeth. "You little bastard. How dare you telepathically soil my pure dreams with Kuwbara's butt cheeks! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" you shouted, jumping up. He was one step ahead of you.

You chased him up the stairs and down the hall. He ducked inside his room, slamming the door in your face.

"HIEI!!!!!!" you screamed pounding on the door.

"What's going on?" Kurama asked coming up behind you.

You turned around, panting and pointing at the door. "Hiei...Kuwabara...playboy bunnies...kinky whip!" you spat. You stood looking at the confused expression on his face for a moment before you slumped down on the floor, taken by fits of giggles. This was the first time you had laughed your ass off since you had been here.

Aiko, just emerging from her room, walked over to his side. "What's up with Yumiko?"

Kurama was smiling. "Oh, nothing. I think she's just decided that she likes it here."

~End Part II~