Hello! I just want to thank everyone who commented on the first chapter. It really helped me decide which direction I should take the story. I'm sorry it took this long to post, but I tried to do my best writing it, so hopefully you will like it!
Disclaimer:I don't own anything Doctor Who-related.
Please enjoy!
The One You Really Love:
Chapter 2
I sat at the dining table, staring coolly at the door, waiting for him to come home. My eyes were still red and stung from all the crying. Finally, the door opened. A little hesitant at first, because he knew what was waiting for him. And so did I.
John walked through the door like a beaten man; his head hung low, shoulders slumped, and eyes downcast. He stopped in the middle of the entryway and asked, "So, what have you decided?"
His bluntness hit me like a brick wall. I didn't expect him to be so upfront about it.
"Well, I-"
"Because you can't have it both ways, Rose," John interrupted, "this is a relationship that takes two people. Not just one, but both of us."
"I know that! What do you think I am? An idiot?!" I couldn't believe him.
"No! No, of course not," he apologized, "I'm just making sure because I didn't know if everything I wrote was clear-"
I let out a scornful and morbid laugh, cutting him off. "Oh, your letter was perfectly clear. Crystal." My words were clipped and tinged with malice and I see the hurt on his face. Sensing that the conversation was turning in my favor, I took advantage of it and pressed him further.
"What exactly brought on this surge of emotion, John?" I asked, rising from the dining room table.
He looked up at me with those deep brown eyes full of sorrow and hurt. They're his eyes. I couldn't stand them boring into me and I paced over to the kitchen, breaking his pleading gaze to stop.
"You know, a couple of nights ago-" John started out feebly.
"Yes, I remember a couple of nights ago!" I cut him off. I didn't need another reminder. I was drunk and he refused to come to bed with me and slept on the couch instead. I had one of my worst nightmares since the metacrisis that night. John had to come in and stay up with me for the rest of the night.
"When you kissed me," he continued warily, "You didn't call me John. You called me 'Doctor.'"
He and I both knew that that wasn't the first time it had happened. I tried to ignore that and asked him heatedly, "Was that it?"
"No," he sighed, "I guess it served as the catalyst for the letter. The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back."
"Well, what else was it?" I demanded, praying that that was it.
"It was everything, Rose," he said, "Whenever I'm with you, it's like you're not completely there, like part of your mind has just up and left." He was right. Whenever I see him, I can only see the Doctor. It's terrible, but it's the truth.
"And how do you think I feel? Huh? This also involves me, you know? Right now, it's all about you, but what about me? What about my feelings?" I was pushing his buttons for no reason at all. Just for the sake of it, really. I didn't know why. I still don't. But I still did it.
He started breathing hard through his nose, like a dragon about to spit fire. He ran his hand through his hair, trying to stay calm, but it didn't work. I went too far and he exploded.
"It is always about you, Rose! About your pain, your feelings, what you went through!" he said. Suddenly, he becomes quiet. "And I'm done with it. I'm through with being expected to always be there. I'm through with being the replacement. I've finally realized what your decision is, so I'm not going to waste any more time trying to get you to say it."
He stormed off into the bedroom. It took a couple moments for me to register what he was doing. His words hit me like a brick wall and I ran towards the bedroom. He's packing a duffel bag. I hugged him from behind, sobbing and saying, "No, no, don't! Please don't! Don't leave me!"
He pushed me away brusquely. I stumbled backwards and fell onto the floor with my back against the wall. He finished packing and made his way to the door. Just as he reached it, he turned back towards me and said, "Goodbye, Rose."
Then he left, slamming the door behind him. The noise echoed in my ears and shook me down to the core. I curled up into a ball and tried to drown it out with my sobs, but to no avail. After my sobbing died down to the occasional dry heave and a sniffle, I'm left with a cold, empty feeling in the pit of my stomach that slowly spread to the rest of my body. Once the frigid numbness seeped into every part of me, I crawled into bed with my runny make-up and tear-stained clothes still on, preparing myself for the worst night of my life.
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