Short but sweet one-shot based on the prompt: "Imagine your OTP has a child/children. Imagine Person A of your OTP standing on a chair, sofa, or balancing between two separate armrests with their kid(s) in their arms. Person B walks in asking what they're doing, and both Person A and the kid(s) cry frantically, "The floors are lava!""

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or the characters, they belong to Eiichiro Oda.


Playing with Papa

Nami knew it probably wasn't the best idea to leave Kid home alone with their daughter – not after the paint incident. But she had to go to the store and she wasn't about to drag two children (a hyperactive toddler and a short-tempered twenty-eight year old) with her. She thought to leave Killer with them for supervision, but she had a long list and could use the help at the store more, so she trusted that her husband and daughter would not destroy their home without a responsible adult around.

She really shouldn't have trusted those two.

Walking into the house, Killer behind her, arms laden with grocery bags, she froze at the scene in front of her. Kid stood high above the living room floor, their three year old dangling from his arms as he balanced on the arms of the couch and a matching living chair.

"What are you two doing?" She asked hesitantly.

They yelled "The floors are lava!" in unison as answer. Killer snorted behind her and moved to drop the bags in the kitchen, while Nami stifled her giggles at their game. Maybe she didn't need to worry so much.

And that's when she spotted it…

"You broke the coffee table!" She shrieked, pointing at the piece of furniture lying flat on the floor, its legs little more than splinters after trying to bear Kid's weight.

"Like I said, the floors are lava," Kid explained, utterly unfazed as she fumed at him.

"That isn't an excuse to break the furniture!"

"I'll fix it later," he waved her off.

"Papa! You have to save Mama! She's standing in the lava!" Mary screamed, thrashing in her father's hold. "She's gonna burn up!"

"Shit, yer right," Kid grunted. Nami's annoyance waned as she watched Kid toss their daughter onto the chair and walk across the couch, exaggerating the 'precarious' balancing act over a floor of lava as his arms stuck out to his sides. Mary gasped when Kid swayed and nearly fell onto the molten floors. Nami snorted when he leapt onto the other arm of the couch, then onto the arm and back of the other living chair closest to the door. With a toothy grin, he reached out, beckoning her over. "Come on, Kitten. I got ya."

She heard Killer chuckling from the kitchen and glanced back to share an amused look with him. For a man who was absolutely terrified of fatherhood, it was pretty cute how well he eventually took to it.

"Mama!" Mary cried out, getting her attention back on them. "Papa's gotta save you!"

Kid's grin was impossibly wide when she looked back to him. With a shake of her head and quiet laugh, she carefully traipsed over the floor. They had tossed pillows and cushions around, making a trail that led through the living room to the stairs and kitchen. She pretended to teeter in place and jumped onto one of the pillows. Mary cheered her on as she eyed the next pillow warily.

"The steppin' stone's gonna melt away if ya stand there," Kid warned, stifling his chuckle.

She shrieked playfully, leaping to the next pillow and waving her arms when she nearly fell.

"You're almost there!" Mary yelled, jumping up and down on the chair. "You can do it."

"I'm scared," she said, trying hard to hold back her laughter as she clutched her arms.

Kid laughed for her and jumped from his spot to a pillow near his chair, closer to her. "Ya always were a chicken-shit," he taunted, waving for her to come closer. "I won't let ya fall."

She glowered, but took another leap. She swayed again, but Kid snatched her by the wrist to help balance her, or pretend to. With a sharp tug, she was pulled to his small pillow, wrapped up in his arms as Mary cheered her father on.

"My hero," Nami sighed dramatically, burying her face against his chest.

"Not out of danger yet," he chuckled. "Chairs and couch are the only safe spots."

"And the coffee table?" Her brow rose as she glared up at him.

Kid ignored the question, leaning back until he was seated on the arm of the chair. Large hands picked her up by the waist while Kid twisted, plopping her onto the armrest beside him. "There we go. Safe and sound."

She laughed at his grin and pushed up to brush a kiss to his jaw. "You're still in trouble for the coffee table," she whispered.

"I said I'd fix it," he huffed. He leaned down for a quick peck. "Have a little faith in yer husband," he grumbled against her lips, stealing another short kiss.

Mary giggling from the other chair broke them apart to look at her. The little girl had her hands covering her mouth, attempting to stifle her tittering laugh at their shared affection.

"Did you have fun with Papa today?" Nami asked.

Her daughter nodded eagerly and raised her arms above her head, a sign that she was about to go over everything they did for the two hours Nami was out shopping with Killer. "We played ponies and robots and Papa let me play with his tools – "

"Just the screwdriver to fix a broken cupboard," Kid whispered in her ear as their daughter carried on in her breathless summary.

"What happened to the cupboard?" She asked, brow raised. He didn't deign her with an answer.

" - and then the floor turned to lava and we had to jump all over and I was screaming – "

"She got her fuckin' lungs from you," Kid muttered, grunting when she elbowed him. "Well she did," he grumbled, nursing his side. "My ears are still ringin'."

" - and then you came home and Papa saved you!" Mary finished her story as she leapt up and down on her chair, arms waving over her head. "Come save me again, Papa!"

"Yer already safe," Kid groaned, leaning against Nami.

"Save me!"

"Yer startin' t' be a real brat, Mary," Kid growled, his eyes narrowed on the girl. Nami's elbow found his side again. "Well she is!"

"Save me! Save me! Save meeeeeeeee!" She shouted, voice getting higher the longer Kid stayed by Nami.

"I didn't even give her any sugar while you were gone," he sighed. He prepared to get up, but Killer came out of the kitchen, hand raised signaling he stay where he was.

"I'll take her," Killer said.

"Uncle Killer! You're burning!" Mary shrieked as he walked over to her.

"Nope. I'm the rescue plane, so I'm flying over all the lava," he explained. Mary pouted at him, disbelieving, so he stuck his arms out and swerved around the living room. "See?"

Mary screamed in joy, hands gesturing for him to pick her up. Nami laughed as she watched him swoop down and grab her daughter, lifting her above his head while Mary helped him make airplane noises. Kid slumped against her in relief, and she patted his thigh in sympathy.

"Wait!" Mary shouted before Killer could fly by her parents. "The tank's empty!"

"Tank?" Killer's brow rose as he tilted his head back to look at her.

She pointed to Kid and Nami, squirming in his hold. "Kisses!"

Killer chuckled as he lowered her in front of her parents, Mary holding her arms out to them. She squealed joyfully as Nami sprinkled her face with kisses.

"There you go," Nami said, grinning. "Tank's all full now."

"No it's not!" She yelled, pointing at Kid. "I need Papa kisses, too!"

"Tsh," Kid hissed, but he leaned in despite his annoyance and pressed his lips to her cheek. Instead of giving her a short kiss, he sucked in a breath, and then blew a loud raspberry against her cheek, making her shriek and flail in Killer's hold. "There's yer kiss, Brat," Kid growled.

"Yay! I wanna watch the pirate cartoon now!"

"I thought you just watched that this morning?" Killer asked as he lifted her above his head.

"I wanna watch it again!" She demanded. "Again! Again!"

"Geez, she's really on one today," Kid sighed.

"Again!" She screamed louder.

"Keep up that fuckin' screamin' and ya ain't watchin' shit," Kid warned, only to have Nami smack him upside the head.

"Language!" Nami lectured. She turned to point sternly at Mary. "One warning. Cool it, young lady, and ask nicely."

Mary pouted and lowered her head to look at Killer. "Can we watch the cartoon again?" Nami cleared her throat. "Please?"

"Of course," Killer nodded, earning a gloating smile from the girl that was far too much like her father's. "Kid, you could learn a thing or two from your daughter."

"Shut it," Kid growled. As Killer flew the girl down to the den to watch her cartoon, Kid groaned tiredly, wrapping himself around Nami. His face buried against her neck, he muttered "When's this terrible-two stage supposed to end? She's almost four. It should'a stopped by now."

"Sorry, Kid," Nami giggled, patting his arm. "It probably won't end until she's in college." He groaned, his weight sinking into her more. "And since she's your daughter, it probably still won't end then."

"Tsh, don't put it all on me. Yer a fuckin' brat, too." He tilted his head to kiss her neck, his hand running over her swollen abdomen. "How ya feelin'?"

"Good," she sighed. "I think you still have another month or two before I'm at the stage where I want to kill you for impregnating me again."

He chuckled, lips brushing up to her ear. "Sorry," he said mockingly.

"I told you to use a condom while I was on antibiotics," she said with a huff. She couldn't stifle her gasp when he found the spot behind her ear that always made her shiver.

"I didn't think it'd be a problem."

"Well obviously it was. Even Law warned you when he wrote the script for me."

"Tsh, what would that stuck-up prick know?"

"He's a doctor!"

"Whatever," he grunted, busying himself with sucking on her skin. "Now reward me for being a good dad today."

She hummed, laughing as the kisses to her neck became hungrier. "You broke the coffee table. I don't think you deserve a reward."

"I said I'd fix it," he grumbled, grasping her chin as he pecked her cheek.

"And somehow you broke a cupboard, too?" Her brow raised, but she didn't stop him when he stole a kiss.

"I already fixed that one. It was just the hinge." He explained between more kisses.

"Anything else broken?"

"Nope," he said, shaking his head and then snatching her lips again. He pulled away with a thoughtful hum a minute later. "Though, come t' think of it. One of the dining room chairs made a weird noise when I was standing on it."

"How have you two not demolished this house yet?" Nami sighed.

"Hey, I didn't give her any sweets this time. Give me a little fuckin' credit here. And she didn't get into yer office again. Actually, I started the game when she took off in a dead sprint for yer office. Told her she would burn to death if she didn't jump on the couch."

She released another heavy sigh. Smiling, she cupped his face and gave him another peck. "Fine. I admit. You did okay today."

He wore that same gloating grin his daughter had earlier as he wrapped her up in his arms. "Damn right. Number one fuckin' dad material right here."

"Maybe number one big brother, but I'd say Killer's the better dad," Nami snickered.

"Oi! I'm her fuckin' father!"

"You might have supplied the material, but Killer did most of the work the first few months," Nami pointed out. "And…" she trailed off in a seductive whisper, fluttering kisses over Kid's jaw to appease him. "He's currently watching Mary, so it's just you and me for a – "

"Got it," Kid interrupted, standing abruptly and scooping her into his arms. "I'll just prove I'm number one husband."

Nami laughed at his urgency as he jumped from cushion to cushion across the floor, making his way to the stairs. "What are you even doing, Kid? You can just walk."

"Nope. Floors are still lava."

"You are such a child, Kid."


A/N: Fun fact - Mary loves pirates and cars and robots like her dad. She's very much daddy's little girl.

Another fun fact/ educational moment - Antibiotics reduce efficacy of birth control pills (says it right on the package for those that didn't know). My friend's first child came about because she was on antibiotics and didn't know how the interacted with birth control. So for those with an active sex life who do not use two forms of birth control/ protection - take extra measures if you are on antibiotics, and read the packaging carefully for any other potential drug interactions with other prescriptions you might have.