Ch. 2 Stupid drunk

As seen through Theodore's eyes/POV

What the hell is wrong is wrong with my father? Doesn't he know he's not supposed to drink and drive? AHHHHHH I HATE HIM! HE DRIVES ME CRAZY!

Ok let me explain diary why the heck I am so mad right now. It will go all the way back to 2006 to explain what happened and what is causing me to hate him with all of my heart right here and now.

October 12, 2006 my father was driving to work way off in a very rural side of town where the waste water treatment plant was. The road was very dark and had lots of blind curves, so when he hit and killed a man with his truck there was nothing that he could do. He told me that the man was walking in the middle of his lane in the same direction as he was driving. The man must have wanted to be killed for two reasons one he had chosen the sharpest and darkest curve on that stretch of road and he had taken off his shoes and placed them on the side of the road a couple hundred feet away from where he was killed.

It was deemed that my father did everything possible to avoid hitting and killing the man. As a matter of fact if he had seen the man a second and a half sooner then he would have missed him altogether. As it was he hit him with the last 6 inches of the front of his truck while jamming on his brakes and swerving into the other lane. BUT DAMN HIS LUCK!

He said he was fine and even boasted and bragged about how he could handle it unlike most people. But it became apparent to me and the rest of my family that he wasn't handling it as well as he said and claimed he was. He would isolate himself whenever we wanted to hang out as a family, he then started saying the exact time that had passed since he killed him. Example: 6 months, 12 days, and 12 hours 32 minutes since I killed that man. He got worse and worse. Then sometimes at night he would get home and spend hours outside in the car port which is filled with stuff from when my mom lost her parents in 2004. Anyways when he would finally decide to grace us with his presence he was off, his speech was slow, he couldn't think on his feet and would get a joke really late. He moved slower than a snail. We had our suspicions about what was causing it but he was still clever enough to hid his tail tell signs. He would always take nitequil which has 20% alcohol and would make his breath smell like it masking and preventing us from proving that he was getting counsel from the bottom of a bottle.

In other words he was getting DRUNK almost every night of the week. Finally I guess he had killed enough brain cells thus causing him to be extremely stupid and we finally caught him and were able to prove once and for all he was up to no good and that he was getting drunk. Well we kept a closer eye on him but it didn't do any good. He would always find a good place to hide it.

It eventually got him fired from SAWS because of a stupid ass move he made while being intoxicated. I am not going to even drag that terrible memory up as it only causes me more pain and grief. How could he be such and asshole to drive his company truck, get it stuck, then injure someone as he tried to get it unstuck which he did all while being… yeah you guessed it DRUNK! ASS FREAKING HOLE!

So he didn't get caught but he did get fired for denying the fact that he had gotten his truck stuck and injured a person. He did finally come clean admitting that he did do it, conveniently forgetting to tell them that he was drunk when he did it. This was the ending of a great job in June.

So he got a job working for a construction company doing something similar to what he was doing at his old job but it required a lot of manual labor. During this time I cannot remember as to what it was he did or if he did get drunk as I was indulged in a job during the summer and engulfed in my studies during the fall of 2008. It was hard on him but he never ever once opened up to anyone, not to me, my brother, mother, his friends and he refused to see a counselor about his issues.

Well in January of 2009 he got an awesome job working for cps energy making 22 bucks an hour, he didn't know all of the stuff that he was supposed to and he was given 6 months to learn what it was he was supposed to do and pass a test after his 6 months of training. Well he must have killed a bunch of brain cells from his constant and continuous drinking as he didn't decide to study for his test until the day before. Needless to say he lost his job which made him drink more, he was no longer drinking and getting smashed to where he was just barely drunk. Now he was getting so far gone that he couldn't even stand up without almost falling down.

It was getting worse and worse. We were trying to fight fire with fire, we would conduct daily raids on the garage trying to find his stash and every time we did he would go and blow more money on booze and hide it somewhere else. It was ridiculous, childish and just flat out stupid. I would go out to the carport from time to time and see if I could bust him and see where he stashed it. It never worked. The rest of us just gave up trying to stop him; it was like trying to tell the ocean to stop the tides. It was impossible we would try and confront him but he would deny it ever happened even when he was sober. And since he wouldn't remember what he would put us through on a nightly basis to him it never happened. Well about two weeks before July 10 my mom told him if he had any alcohol she was going to boot his ass out of the house. She was sick and tired of his bull crap of saying he was going to change but never did nor had the desire to change.

Well it was going great till he got a little bit of bad news from work, he was shifted from a cushy light job to having to work out in the fields installing cable. Well I took bets with my brothers that he was going to get smashed that night and that things would reach an impass and something would go down.

I was in the living room watching tv when I see my mom having to help my father come into the house; I was right on the money, he was so drunk he would have lit up the breathalyzer like a Christmas tree on Christmas eve. What I didn't know was what had actually happened.

I was asked by my mom to help her take some things out to the trash, I could tell it was a ploy to get me outside so she could talk to me. So I played along.

Once outside the truth was revealed which caused my eyes to burn with extreme hatred and anger. I killed my father in my heart a thousand times as I let the damning words sink in. What was is that caused me to hate him like I never have before. It was because of his careless and reckless actions that could have cost somebody their life.

He was DRIVING DRUNK! I replayed what my mom had told me. She had been waiting outside for him to get home so that she could head him off at the pass and make certain that he wouldn't drink that night. She saw his truck and the lights were turned off a couple of houses away. He slammed into a garage of a house that had burned down in 2004 across the yard from ours. Then out he stumbled drunk as a gosh durn skunk!

This is no longer in Theodore's perspective but rather the author who has and is going through this as of tight now. Now it has to come to a head. Today is Sunday and I am sure on Monday my mom will find the courage and words to kick his ass to the curb. I will support her by being there and the man of the house. I am only 19 and yet the wait of the world is on my shoulders, GOD HELP ME! I will not have to support the family that my father will have to do but I will fill the fatherly roll in his absence, one I am accustom to already as I am oldest. People ask me why I am against partying, and drinking? I tell them I have experienced the ill affects of it. I have never told anyone this deep dark secret. Now I am telling all of those who like to party, those who think its cool to get drunk take this as a wake up call. GET HELP, STOP THE MADNESS BEFORE YOU RUIN LIVES. My family might implode and explode because of this and because he thought he was man enough that he didn't need help. Let me tell you this: It takes a stronger man to suck down his pride and ask for help than a man who holds it all in. That goes for girls as well. But since I am a male writer I am pleading and begging you guys to end this stupidity. Don't make the people you love have to hurt the way I hurt, ruin the lives and fond memories with nothing but hate and sorrow. That is why I am a tragedy writer, a downer and at times in a deep state of recession also known as depression. This is my sad tail, please help me and stop the chain of heart break for others like me.

THAT IS WHY I HATE MY FATHER! HE WAS TO PROUD TO SEE THE DAMAGE HE WAS INFLICTING ON HIS FAMILY!