Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate. This is a fan based story only.
Warning: Language.
Episode Tags: "The First Commandment," "Singularity," "Divide and Conquer," "The Fifth Man."
Summary: All the times Sam disobeys Jack's orders and pays the price. Some chapters are based on official episodes, some are not. Each chapter is independent of each other, but they are best read together.
A/N: This is an ongoing collection of one-shots. I classify the story as complete, but I could add a chapter anytime if a new muse strikes.
Insubordination
Chapter2
SG-1 filed through Storage Facility no68. It was dreary, with a low ceiling, and lit by half alive wall sconces on one side. Their standard issue foot falls reverberated through the concrete, almost in unison. A funeral dirge.
Samantha Carter hugged an unconscious Cassandra to her chest. Everyone but the Airman with the keys to the elevator and Colonel O'Neill were behind her, letting her take charge, standing by her decision. His decision…
It was the right call. What else could they do with the girl? One life compared to hundreds others seemed an obvious choice. Sam was kidding herself if she thought she would have decided otherwise. She took little comfort in the fact that the rules would be responsible for Cassie's death. Yet ultimately, Sam would be the one to abandon her to her fate. She wasn't responsible, she told herself. She wasn't.
As they reached the end, Jack turned to face her. "I can take her from here now, Captain." It was a strong offer, imploring her to accept. But of course, the bond Carter had formed with Cassandra was too powerful. And ironically Jack knew she wanted to be the one to take the girl to her death.
"No, Sir, it's OK."
Carter knew what she had to do. Jack trusted that. The big white letters of the 01 on the elevator doors parted. Decision made, and the Colonel resolved to allow her the only control he could offer under the circumstances. To grieve privately. She deserved that at least.
"This elevator goes down thirty floors through solid rock. It takes about three minutes to get to the bottom. That gives you four minutes to start back up."
Sam nodded and circumvented him to get to the elevator. His eyes bore into hers, his lips parted but nothing came out. Don't mess around, Captain. Bring Cassandra down, and come back up.
Jack still had time to stop her. Sam loved that girl, how would she be able to do it? He would have never been able to do this to Charlie. You should stop her. He nodded to the airman, who turned the key and Sam was gone.
The numbers on the panel counted up in equal intervals. Each level was its own eternity. Daniel and Teal'c eyed each other, then Jack. They all thought the same. The Colonel paced, frenziedly checking the time, readjusting his cap aimlessly. Not everyday you leave a child to die alone in an abandoned missile silo, and Jack began wondering if he'd been correct in letting Carter go down alone.
Finally, the last beep intoned on level 28. They waited. And waited. The time was worrying and Carter wasn't yet making her way back up. Come on, Sam. Her extra minute was almost through when the numbers began decreasing.
Oh thank God.
It took him a few seconds, but Jack was settling at last when Daniel said, "Jack, she's going back down."
No. No, no, no, no. "The hell she is." Jack crossed to the communication terminal and pressed the white button. "Captain Carter." Nothing. "Captain Carter," he said more forcefully. "Sam, do you read me?"
What if the explosion already happened? Wouldn't they have felt it? Carter can't be dead, she's just not answering. Come on, talk to me.
"Colonel, I'm staying," came Sam incredible voice.
Jack's knees wobbled. She had never sounded more beautiful, never more had it frightened him. She was alive, blessedly breathing and congested with tears. He had to keep it that way. Jack forced his voice out in a calm, commanding stream.
"Negative."
"Colonel, she's awake!"
"Oh, God!" Daniel exclaimed.
Jack considered the ramifications of this new complication, but the results would have to be the same. In the end, Cassandra would still die and now Carter with her. "Captain, Carter? I am ordering you to get back up here right now. Right now!"
No response. Jack checked the time. Even if she started back up now…He was going to lose her. Dead for nothing.
He turned to Daniel and Teal'c "Alright, why don't you guys clear out." Neither moved. Jack exhaled. "…Right." Until the very end.
Teal'c crossed his right hand over his heart and whispered, "Dal mek'toh creon te shree tal'ma. Kalash Kel'mah¹" Daniel bowed his head, honoring the ritual.
Twenty seconds. "Alright. Here we go."
The guys didn't breathe in case they would missed any vibration that guaranteed Sam's death. The silence was thick enough to cut. Nine…eight…seven…six….five…four…
…three…two…one…
Carter…
Jack's watch beeped. His entire body burned with cold fire.
After a few seconds of nothing, Daniel ventured. "I don't feel anything."
"We could have been wrong about the time." That's it, Jack, always negative.
"We could have been wrong about what would happen," provided Daniel, and Jack wanted to kiss him.
He turned incredulously back to the comm., and without sounding too desperate or hopeful called, "Captain Carter? Can you hear me?" He closed his eyes and prayed. But of course, after ignoring his orders and almost abandoning Cassandra, it was little wonder if she didn't want to speak to her obviously pissed off CO. Let's try that again. "Sam," he called in a low voice. "Can you hear me?"
Suddenly, Carter's voice sounded over the speaker. "We're okay!" Jack flopped, his fear washed away and he leaned his head against the machine. "It didn't happen," she continued. "Cassandra's fine, I'm fine, it didn't happen. I just…I couldn't leaver her, Sir." Jack recognized she was begging him to understand her disobedience.
"How did you know, Captain?"
"It occurred to me that she first slipped into the coma when we brought her close to the Stargate. As soon as we got her far enough away from the Stargate, she woke up, and I…knew." Sam bit her lip
"You knew?" Jack sighed. That wasn't a good enough excuse for the military, or for him to keep it off the record. He ignored the relieved play between Daniel and Teal'c "Alright. Get back up here, Captain."
Now that the crisis was over, Jack had to reclaim his duty as Commanding Officer. No more first name basis. No more leeway. His anger was obvious to Sam, who wasn't yet there to witness it, so Daniel and Teal'c could feel it radiating from his body.
"Jack, don't be so hard on her," Daniel calmly suggested. The proverbial shit had yet to hit the fan, and as much as he agreed with Sam's decision, he would not want to be in her shoes right now.
"Daniel!" Jack warned. The archeologist bowed his head and twiddled his fingers.
The three minutes it took Sam to ascend sent Jack into frustrated tremors. His fury rose with every level. The doors opened. Sam stood straight with her head in high defiance, Cassandra clinging to her side. O'Neill's black eyes struck her, but she would not look away. Her heart was thrumming in her ears in equal amounts of terror and happiness.
"Teal'c, Daniel, Take Cassandra back to the SGC. Have Fraiser check her out. We'll meet you back there."
Teal'c stepped up and offered his hand to the girl. Sam squeezed her shoulder for reassurance and Cassandra let the Jaffa lead her out. He spared a nod to Sam that expressed his gratefulness that she was still with them. Daniel sent her sympathetic eyes, but she didn't acknowledge either of them. She daren't move unless Colonel O'Neill told her to.
Only when everyone had cleared the corridor did Jack step in beside his Captain. He leaned across her to reach the number panel, deliberately lingering, and chose level 28. Thirty floors to pick from but he was taking her back to the place she had defied him. Where she might have died. Sam couldn't see him through the dark, but she felt him just behind her shoulder. So close yet inaccessible.
The pull of the elevator stopping threatened to drag her down. She'd remained calm until the very end, when the reality of her situation overwhelmed her ability to think, or apparently move.
"Captain Carter," the Colonel barked. He stood in the door, waiting for her to follow. Sam hadn't noticed. She forced her locked knees to comply and he led her back through the blast door. Jack closed and locked it, the sound of metal echoing through his own steel heart. If he could yell loud enough to reach ground level, he certainly wouldn't be heard now.
"I wanna know why you thought it was a good idea to completely disregard my orders! That's the second time in six months!" Jack already knew her motive, but he prayed she had a better explanation, some ammo to give him so he could prevent a Court Martial.
"I arrived at a logical, scientific conclusion, Sir."
"And you couldn't possibly fill me in? Have Fraiser confirm it?"
"There wasn't any time—"
Jack couldn't deny that his anger fuelled his words, but he couldn't go easy on her either. "I thought you were sure it wouldn't happen. You had plenty of time to prove it."
Shit. Where was all her vaunted intelligence, her confidence and strength? It all crumbled under this man. "I…I promised her I wouldn't ever leave her, Sir. And when I closed that door, her face…damn…" Sam angrily wiped her tears away and Jack's temper fell with them. "I'm sorry, Colonel."
Jack squared himself and formally asked, "Captain. Your decision was based on the scientific knowledge and observations you gained in the field, not due to your personal relationship with Cassandra?"
For a moment Sam hesitated before she understood that this was the part going into his report. "Yes, Sir," she breathed.
O'Neill nodded and sighed. He sat on one of the crumbling missile shelves, and when he gestured, Sam settled on its twin. He'd saved his prized Captain from official trouble, but that in no way spared her in his book. "I thought we'd talked about this, Carter." Sam choked on the disappointment in his voice. "Was I unclear in any way?"
"No, Sir!" Sam rectified.
"Then?"
She wrung her hands in her lap. "I…don't know, Sir."
"We have to resolve this before we go back up. And by that I mean between you and I. Off the record."
Those three words. Sam could hardly believe her fortune; after her initial euphoria dissolved she had fully expected to be hauled unceremoniously out of the Air Force. She took a deep breath, confident that her CO would honor his claim. "I guess what I'm uhm…my feelings for Cassandra made it much easier for me to go back down. I realized only then the mistake we'd made. I was on my way up, Sir."
"I know, Captain. As a human being I'm not questioning your decision. But we risk our lives every day doing stuff that is way out of our league, and I need to know that when the time comes, I can count on you. You need to trust my command decisions."
"I do, Sir." Then Sam looked up at him in that helpless way, bearing her heart to him like a dissected frog with its arms flung out to the sides. And she spoke so brokenly, because she already knew the answer. "Do you trust me, Sir?"
Jack sighed again, removed his cap and ran his hand through his hair. Sam's mouth turned dry. Her gut clenched beyond toleration. He opened his mouth but he couldn't face the despair in her eyes, nor could he redirect his gaze. She held him there without force, and he was too disarmed to realize. Sam looked like she'd been given the death penalty, and Jack couldn't help but find her desire for his approval endearing.
"I'm sorry…" she pleaded.
"I know you are. But that doesn't change what happened." Sam scrunched her face against new tears. Jack was compelled to rectify the desolation that she exuded. If he left her like this, he would have to face this moment every time she looked at him. He joined her side and took her damp hand gently in his. "Sam. I won't lie, I'm pissed." She shrunk a little. "Easy, it's okay. I just thought I'd lost you, I'm just as angry with myself for letting you do it alone."
"It wasn't your fault, Colonel."
"No. It was the Goa'uld's."
Sam smiled and squeezed his hand. "Are we okay, Sir?"
"Always. But I'm still your CO, and you're my subordinate. I can't let your disobedience fly."
"I understand, Sir. I hope in time I can regain your trust."
"Oh, I have no doubt you'll make quick work of that, Carter. No doubt."
¹Our love for you does not end in death. May your soul find sanctuary
Review, review, review! Thank you to those who have already done so. Makes me feel like this is worth more than just my own self gratification :)
