Kinkmeme de-anon for the request "any of the East Asian countries wearing clothes with Engrish on them, not knowing what the shirt actually means". Another commenter brought up the existence of a shirt like Japan's, and I couldn't resist. Shirts like Korea's are apparently pretty widespread too.
Japan didn't often wear casual Western clothes in public, but he was sure the others were staring at his lovely new red sweater far more than was appropriate. France and Canada were whispering together, and he was sure they were pointing at him. Ukraine was sniffling and wiping her eyes, but that was fairly normal for her, so he thought nothing of it until she came up to him, hugged him (not that he minded overmuch since his head was roughly level with her impressive chest) and said "America told me! Please don't, we'll miss you so much!"
"Er, thank you," he said, unsure what for. "I certainly shan't."
Ukraine sniffled with relief, pressed his face into her chest again, and left him gasping for breath and very confused. He ordered a beer, and noticed the other nations in the bar were all watching him. It was offputting.
"Um, Japan, dude, are you okay?" America asked, resting his hand on Japan's shoulder.
"I will be if you stop touching me, please," Japan said, causing America to let go of him as if he was on fire and back off.
"Okay, okay, just ... you know you can always talk to me, right? 'Cos I'm a hero and all." America fled, looking over his shoulder at the baffled Japan.
"Why is everyone staring at me?" Japan whispered to England, who was sitting next to him and attempting to stifle giggles.
"I think I know. Did you buy that jumper at your place?"
"Yes, in Harajuku."
"And you don't read much English, do you?"
"Not very well, I speak it better than I read it. Why?"
England snickered to himself again. "See, this is why we need to actually start learning each other's languages properly." The universal nation-tongue was very useful, but as Japan was now finding out, it had drawbacks. "I think whoever made that shirt was either even worse at English than you or being passive-aggressive."
Japan looked down at his sweater. On it, surrounded by beautifully-drawn roses and a rainbow, were printed the words "I Want To Kill Myself" in large friendly letters. "Why, what's wrong with it?"
Korea provided an unwelcome interruption by bursting into the room in his usual unmistakeable manner, snow melting in his hair. "Big brother! So good to see you!" He waved, then "Hm, it's warmer in here than I thought." He threw off his coat and scarf, and a collective gasp of amusement rose from the room as he exposed his T-shirt, on which was scrawled the word "FUCK".
Korea blinked. "What?"
