Chapter 1
.
While he was asleep, he had talked to Fodra. The majority of the time was spent weathering the rage of an ancient planet, having her throw her will against his time and time again, barely maintaining the walls that kept his mind sane and her from escaping. Even now, while he was awake, Lambda was well aware that his powers were severely limited to maintain her captivity.
But there were times where there were lulls in her mood, and during those times, Fodra seemed more like friend than enemy. Her behavior was usually enigmatic, and she would smirk at him knowingly and question and prod him, trying to lead him to the conclusion that perhaps it was he that was in the wrong.
It was one of those times that she had asked him whether he was right to trust in humanity.
"You hated them almost as much as I do," Fodra had remarked, brushing her dark green hair out of her eyes. "Why the change?"
Lambda shrugged. "There's good and bad within all things. Perhaps we should allow ourselves to see more of the former."
She had turned her gaze on him then, a look full of pity. "Do you really believe that you'll be accepted by them?"
Lambda frowned. "I've already been accepted."
Fodra had laughed. "Accepted as long as you dwell within someone's mind," she had pointed out. "Do not fool yourself, child. The only reason why humanity was spared destruction was because you interceded on their behalf; yet you are kept like a caged animal; trapped by the very people you stopped me from destroying."
The thought enraged him. "Asbel would never-"
"Would he give you your freedom?" Fodra asked, smirking.
Lambda had no answer to that, then, and it wasn't too long before the argument picked up once more and Fodra decided that throwing streaks of lightning in his general direction was an entertaining pastime.
As he walked alongside Sophie back to Lhant, he recalled that conversation. A mounting trepidation built in his heart, and he wondered, briefly, whether Sophie was wrong and whether, just maybe, Fodra was right. Would the humans- would Asbel- attack him on sight?
The thought hurt. He was fond of Asbel. The boy was trusting and naive, but he had never ever gotten angry at Lambda, never forced him to do anything he wasn't willing to do. He was one of the few people in the world that treated Lambda not as a monster or a tool, but as an equal. In some ways, Asbel Lhant was the only reason why Lambda had even considered not destroying humanity.
And now, it pained him to try to think of the young lord as an enemy.
"Don't worry," Sophie said, catching sight of his face.
Lambda schooled his features. "I am not," he assured her.
She gave him a look that showed him that she wasn't buying that, but he didn't choose to comment, and luckily, neither did she.
It was sometime after dawn when Lambda found himself standing directly in the long shadow that the town of Lhant cast over the landscape, rising out of the surrounding hills like a beacon of stone. Lambda had always thought it small compared to the grandeur of Barona or the vast, sprawling majesty of Yu Liberte, but now as he stood at the base of the town gates, he was made all too aware of how small he looked in his human form as compared to the towering height of the city's walls. It looked foreboding, like a cage.
Or perhaps that was his pessimism talking again.
There were two men loitering at the front of the gates- guards, he presumed. They immediately snapped to attention when they caught sight of Sophie.
"Miss Sophie!" one of them called.
Lambda was pleased that at least their eyesight wasn't so bad that they would attack on sight. But just as quickly as they identified Sophie, they immediately turned to him.
"Who's this?" the guard asked, eyes narrowing.
"A friend," Sophie responded without hesitation.
"He's not from Lhant, is he?" one of them appeared tense, and Lambda noticed the barely perceptible movement of the guard's hand tightening his grip around his spear.
"No," Sophie replied with a shrug, and then she shoved Lambda forwards and past the gate, much to the confusion of the two guards.
Lambda waited till they were out of earshot before he spoke. "I suppose this isn't the standard treatment."
"You can't blame them for being suspicious," Sophie shot back.
No, he supposed he couldn't. After all, while his body may have the appearance of a human child, Lambda knew that it was far from what passed as 'normal'. Fodran humanoids were distinctive from the normal humans even on their planet, and here in Ephinea, already a far cry from that of Fodran culture, his manner of attire would obviously attract attention.
Lambda wished that he thought of this before they entered Lhant. He could have at least tried to change his form or his clothes, but hindsight was 20/20. At the very least, it seemed that Sophie's presence with him only brought out curiosity from the townsfolk, and they managed to make it to the Lhant manor unhindered, save for the occasional greeting thrown in Sophie's direction.
They were ushered into the house by a maid who told them that Asbel was in his rooms, recovering from a slight concussion. As she led them upstairs, Lambda looked around the manor with renewed curiosity, despite having seen it all before.
There was a distinguished veneer to the place, though the decor was definitely not as ornate as the castle in Barona. Models of cannons and the likes sat around, reminding any visitor that the Lhant family was, first and foremost, warriors and leaders. Still, there was an odd feeling of homeliness that exuded from the wooden walls and the soft carpets. It made him feel safe and welcome, like he actually belonged there.
"It's just a small knock on the head," the maid assured them when they reached the door to Asbel's room, spotting Sophie's frown. "Nothing a little bed rest can't cure."
She opened the door, and promptly fainted at the sight of Asbel and Cheria locked in a passionate embrace.
"Indeed," Lambda noted dryly as Sophie caught the fallen maid before she hit the floor.
Asbel and Cheria pulled apart quickly, their faces red. Lambda was all too aware that it was a situation just like this that woke him up, and turned his gaze away, trying not to show his discomfort. At least they were only just kissing, he thought with a mild shudder.
"I-I think I should probably help her," Cheria muttered, quickly disentangling herself from Asbel's side. She quickly slung the poor maid's arm over her shoulder, and with some difficulty, managed to pull the girl off the floor. She flashed Sophie and Lambda a smile before she disappeared down the corridor.
Lambda just wished that feeling of unease had disappeared with her.
Hesitantly, he peered at Asbel. The young lord looked no worse for the wear from the previous night, and while his features seemed older and more defined than Lambda remembered, his eyes looked just the same as the boy who willingly protected Lambda just minutes after defeating him in the harshest battle that he could ever recall.
But when Lambda looked at him, the fear he felt wasn't from facing Asbel in battle again.
"Lambda?" Asbel asked. Self-consciously, Lambda realized that in all their conversations, he had always kept his form indistinct. He wondered whether Asbel thought of him as a stranger.
"The same," he acknowledged.
"Sorry you had to see that," Asbel apologized with a shaky smile, stumbling slightly as he got off the bed and moved towards them.
"You should lock the door next time," Sophie suggested with a straight face.
If it was possible, Asbel's face grew even redder. He cleared his throat, trying to regain some measure of composure before he spoke again.
"I'm glad to see you safe, Lambda," he said, turning his warm smile to him.
"Likewise," Lambda responded shortly, uncertain what to say. He was sure Asbel was his friend, but Fodra's questions and thoughts of What-Ifs lingered in his mind, and unconsciously, he found himself clutching the white fabric of his clothes a bit too tightly.
Asbel wasn't the most perceptive light bulb in the box, but even he seemed to sense something was wrong.
"Are you ill?" he asked worriedly as he crouched down to Lambda's eye level. Without warning, he rested one hand against the skin of Lambda's forehead.
The sudden contact surprised him, and Lambda stepped away instinctively. His feelings of unease grew when he found himself looking at Asbel's wide, shocked- and both very blue- eyes.
"It's alright," a soothing voice said in his ear.
He glanced at Sophie, and she smiled back in return. She said nothing more, did nothing else, and he knew why- this was something he had to do himself. All she could do was to assure him that everything would be fine.
And why wouldn't it? Talking to a friend shouldn't have been more difficult than talking to an enemy.
Taking a deep breath, he met Asbel's puzzled gaze with a determined one. "I didn't want to come back," he admitted tentatively. "Sophie... said that you would hear me out."
"I see," Asbel said with a nod. There was a small frown on his face, but it didn't seem like he was about to burst into a rage yet. "What is it?"
Here Lambda found himself floundering. Fight or flight- those were the only two options he had ever known, but things were different now. He was so used to having the upper hand in their conversations, but now it was the reverse. Asbel didn't need anything from him- whereas now, for the first time in his life, Lambda found himself approaching someone else who held all the cards in his hand- even if he didn't know it.
"I want to remain free," Lambda stated as clearly as he could. "I don't want to return to dwelling as a mere shadow within someone else's mind."
The light in the young lord's eyes dimmed slightly at that. "I see," Asbel murmured. "I should have known."
Lambda flinched, stiffening, before Asbel, alarmed, started waving his arms and shaking his head frantically.
"That's not it!" he exclaimed. "I knew you couldn't leave, but I always thought to myself, wouldn't it be better for you to see the world through your own eyes?" He sighed ruefully. "If anything, I'm just angry at myself that I didn't consider your feelings better. I guess last night was a rude wake-up call."
Lambda could scarcely believe his ears. In fact, he felt as though all the wind had been knocked out of him.
"Believe me, it was never my intention to keep you as a prisoner," Asbel told him seriously. "We're friends, Lambda. You only needed to ask."
"If I were to ask now...?"
Asbel smiled. "Of course. It wouldn't be fair to bind you to a life you hated." His eyes were as kind as he remembered them, and Lambda knew Asbel well enough to know his smile was genuine. With a small chuckle he said, "You're not the same Lambda as the one I first met."
It was as if a heavy weight he didn't know he had been carrying melted off his shoulders. All the fear he had suddenly seemed so trivial and meaningless. Fodra had been wrong.
Sophie smiled at the stunned disbelief in his eyes.
"I thought you weren't able to maintain physical form without a host," Asbel said suddenly, as if the thought just occurred to him. He blinked, and stared at Lambda with renewed scrutiny.
"He's Lambda," Sophie assured him.
"Absorbing Fodra gave me more eleth than I know what to do with," Lambda explained. "Even if it continues to dissipate, at this rate, I would be able to maintain this form for a decade, at the very least, before needing to return to hibernation."
"What do you plan to do with ten years?" Asbel asked quietly, watching him carefully. At first, Lambda worried it was caution or second thoughts about letting him roam free, but when he spotted the glimmer of sadness in Asbel's face, he knew what it was.
Asbel was sad at the thought that he was leaving; at the thought that they might never see each other ever again.
Lambda had been hesitant as the thought formed in his mind, but now the idea felt right.
"I would like to stay here in Lhant," he murmured. It didn't make any logical sense, he had to admit. He was Lambda, and he had enough eleth to raze the entire town ten times over. He could have gone anywhere he wanted, done anything he wanted- but Lhant was where Asbel and Sophie were. And perhaps it was the residual thoughts he recalled from his time spent with Asbel, but something in him wanted to consider Lhant home.
Asbel's relief was obvious for all to see as he grinned brightly. "Of course," he said without hesitation, clapping Lambda on the shoulder.
Lambda tried to ignore the bubbling joy that was singing inside his head.
It wasn't until much later that Lambda's thoughts finally calmed down. He lay flat on the bed, unable to sleep. Fading sunlight poured in from the open window, lighting the sparsely decorated room- his room.
Lambda wasn't sure when was the last time he ever had something that belonged to him and him alone. True, the room was just an unused guest room, but for the first time in his life, he realized that he didn't have to think about running if he were to be found, didn't need to keep on guard every minute of every day. It was a novel idea.
Asbel had quickly introduced him as a foundling that Sophie had chanced upon the night before, and told the people that he was now a ward of the Lhant household. There was some measure of curiosity at the fact, but for the most part, the townspeople, perhaps used to Asbel's habit of taking in strays, had simply shrugged their shoulders and went about their business as usual.
Of course, the immediate household was a different matter. Cheria had reacted to the news with a rueful smile, telling Lambda that if Asbel slipped up in caring for him, he need only tell her. Her grandfather seemed just as relaxed, and Asbel's mother looked almost joyous at the thought of having another child running around the house. Lambda hesitated to mention the fact that he was, in fact, more than a thousand years old.
Still, the need for secrecy confused him, and when he asked Asbel about it, the answer surprised him.
"People are still looking for you," the young lord told him seriously. "People still remember what happened four years ago."
"As they should," Lambda murmured.
Asbel shook his head. "You don't deserve a life being hunted and hated, Lambda," he said. "That's why I didn't tell the people. You should have a chance to live normally, for once."
Lambda sighed deeply. The thought was foreign to him. What did a normal life consist of? Compared to a life of constant running, it sounded idyllic; peaceful. Yet, Cornell had always attached such an importance to him growing up normally. There had to be something more to it, surely.
A sudden sound caught Lambda unawares. Sitting up, he realized it was the sound of the front door, and as he peered down from the window, he spotted Protos Heis- Sophie, he corrected himself- make her way into the garden. She had a watering can with her, and with a single-minded determination, she was tending to the flowers in the garden.
She was soon joined by Asbel and Cheria, and though they were too far away for Lambda to make out their conversation, he could tell that they were at ease. Happy.
"Is this what you wanted from me, Cornell?" Lambda wondered aloud.
The room, still and silent, held no answer. The trees didn't rustle, the wind didn't blow. But as he watched his new friends tend to their chores, Lambda had the oddest sensation that someone was smiling at him.
Perhaps this was a step in the right direction, a path off the lonely, beaten trail that he had forged for himself for a thousand years.
Lambda smiled back.
