Keep me safe inside,

Your arms like towers.

-Paramore.

"Isabella Marie Swan! Get your ass up!" A wonderful voice singsonged from the kitchen.

"Alice, it's my birthday. I should be allowed to sleep," I differed. This woman may have been my best friend, but she was insane. Completely crazy.

"Bella, I have a surprise for you. Please. Get. Up."

I got up slowly, and quietly.

Walking over to my dresser, I pulled out a deep blue cotton v-neck. He loved this shirt, and I wore it on my birthday every year. I found a pair of jeans that were a light wash. They have a few holes on them because they were 'made that way.' I didn't quite understand why, but Alice had always tried to fill me it.

"Bella, it looks cute," she said. Trying to defend her over priced jeans.

"But, Alice, it's over one hundred dollars for a pair of cheap denim jeans."

"It's cute, Bella! It's just cute!"She pouted. Again.

She always tried to win, and I let her.

Into the bathroom that connected to my bedroom I went. The water was really cold at first, so I had to wait for it to warm up. I stepped in and did some heavy breathing under the heavenly steam.

"HURRY!"

I finished washing and drying and stepped out of the bathroom, ready to go.

I walked down the hallway of my apartment actually nervous. Alice knew that I wasn't a fan of surprises, and had never broken that unspoken rule.

As I reached the outside of the kitchen, still unseen I heard her talking to someone.

"Bella won't run away. She missed you, she'll be ecstatic to see you!" Alice said to the phone. "BELLA!" She bellowed once again.

"Chill, Alice. What's my surprise?" I asked.

"You'll get that later," I sighed as she spoke. "Hush young lady. We are going to have coffee and catch up first. Then maybe some shopping? And the surprise will be tonight at dinner."

I've seen Alice excited before, but never this bad. Her eyebrows were to the ceiling, and her grin stretched to her ears.

"Now hurry! I don't want to wait for my latte!"

"Yes, little drill sergeant, lead the way," I smiled.

"Alright, I'll be in the car."

As Alice walked out of the room, I went back to my bedroom to get my purse and wallet. I practically sprinted back toward the door of my apartment, and locked it on the way out. I was on the second floor, so it was easier to take the stairs everyday rather than the elevator.

Tripping on only the very last step, I made my way past the doorman, Harry, who knew my family closely for a while.

"Happy Birthday, Bella! What are you? Thirty by now?" He joked. I loved his laugh. It reminded me of home, of the life I missed of so long ago. "Tell Charlie I said hi, will you?"

He didn't know what had happened with Charlie. I always thought he was great, but in the summer between eighth and ninth grade,we had a little incident which I don't like remembering.

He found me that night. I had wondered into the woods afterwords, and he was reading a book. He said he had heard me, and came to find me. I cried onto his shoulder for hours, and I fell asleep on his lap.

He had woken me up around two in the morning, and helped me get back home.

Alice revved her engine and pulled me back from my thoughts. "I'll see what I can do. Take care Harry!" And with that I waved good bye and ran down the block. It wasn't very far, maybe ten steps. I passed a man with bronze-ish hair and tripped, but kept going. None were the same but there were far too many reminders.

I climbed into Alice's car and she took off. No later than five minutes, and we were out of the car and approaching Starbucks' doors.

Ah. Mike Newton was working again. We all went to high school together, and most of us moved to Seattle for some action, city life. I remember that he had broken it off with Jessica permanently, and proceeded to constantly ask me on dates. Even though I was taken, he never stopped asking.

Alice and I walked up to the counter and I ordered first.

"A white chocolate mocha, grande, iced, with whip."

"Hey, Bella. What's up?" Mike asked. A full smile on his face as he appraised my body.

"Are you taking my order, or are you going to fuck me with your eyes?" I snapped. This was my birthday, and I wanted my goddamn coffee.

"Sorry... Um, Alice?" He asked and his smile immediately faded.

"Venti cafe vanilla bean frappichino."

"Alright. How about we have lunch or something soon, Bella? Catch up?" Scumbag asked.

"I've been over this with you, Mike. I'm not interested," I whisper yelled. My patience was running thin.

"I see you are still hung up on-" I could barely hear him because he was mumbling but I cut him off.

"Don't you ever say his name. It better never come out of your disgusting mouth. I still love him, so fuck you," I didn't feel bad at all as I said it. I actually felt pretty relieved to get it off my chest. The man never left me alone. It was about time he got off his high horse and got over me. In a much sweeter tone, I said "Give me my coffee."

And he handed it to me, finished already.

"Thanks, Mike." I glared at him.

Alice led me to our seats towards the window, and I sat down. I had stood for five minutes, and was exhausted. I had nightmares the night before, and I received very little sleep.

"So, Bella. Are you gonna call your dad back?" Alice asked, timidly.

"He fucked me Alice. I don't want anything to do with him." Thoughts of Charlie having his way with me entered my mind, and I nearly broke my facade. I didn't, not today. Tonight when I got home, I'd cry. I'd cry a lot.

"Well... So What's up lately? I feel like I haven't talked to you forever!"

"It's been like a week and a half, Alice," I said. Pretty much proving that Alice is a spaz.

"I asked how you were doing, so I suggest you talk!" Did I say she was a spaz?

"I'm pretty much hoping to get the teaching job at SU..."

"You will! I know you will. You majored in English Literature, there is no way that you won't get the job," Alice practically screamed across the table. We received several looks telling me to put her on a leash. Although her outburst was unnecessary, she was probably right. She had an amazing set of skills for predicting things.

"What about you Alice? Anything new?" I asked, dreading it. She would talk for hours. Not that I didn't love her, but sometimes she got to talking, and didn't stop. I didn't think four years of an age difference would effect to people's relationship, so it had to be her insane personality.

"I got a job at that fashion magazine place you hate. It's totally my style though..." She paused and looked at me for a second.

"What is it?"

"I don't want you to get mad." Now why would I get mad? Unless she brought up him, then we should be okay.

"I won't be."

"I got a boyfriend!" She squealed, and my face immediately brightened up.

"Name?"

"Bella? You actually wanna know? Why?" she asked. Spewing questions from her mouth like poison.

"Just because my love life is shit, doesn't mean that I don't wanna know about yours!"

"Well, he has shaggy blonde hair, blue eyes, really tan surfer skin, and he's tall. Like 6' 3'', " she said. She was leaving out something because I remember someone like him coming as a freshman when I was a senior. For some reason he was always tan. Even in Forks. He had come from southern California, and his parents still took him on frequent trips down there. You'd think he'd be gross, a stoner, or stupid. But he wasn't. He was a genius, and could affect the entire room with a look.

"NAME?" I asked again, louder and slightly suspicious.

"It's Jasper Hale from high school. He was really good buddies with-" She was cut off by me.

"Do. Not. Say. His. Name. EVER. And I mean it, Alice. I miss him so much, and I love him. It still hurts too... a lot." My eyes started to well with tears, and I looked away. Sadly I met the eyes of Jacob.

"Honey don't cry, it'll be o...kay?" During her sentence I cursed under my breath. He had caught my eye, and was coming toward us.

"Shit, Alice. Jacob saw me."

"Hah. That kid is in love with you. He won't leave you alone!" She was laughing? Yeah, so funny. A child was going to ask me out, again. He can't even drink yet. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?

I don't even want to go out with him, ever. I'm not ready to date, and I don't think I'll ever be. I've went out five times since I figured he was gone, and three times I let a random man into my bed. It was my guest bed though, because even wasted, I knew that I couldn't taint the one place left I had of him.

"Oh, hey Bella!" Jacob said looking at me. His hair was down and in his face. He looked retarded. I wanted to punch him square in his little pug nose.

"Hi, Jacob."

"What's up with you? You look sad!" Once again his face lit up. Are my hints not strong enough or something? I was tired of this. Truly tired of this.

"It's my birthday. It's never a good day," I said, and automatically regretted it. He smiled the biggest smile I've ever seen on a face and grabbed a hold of me.

"Happy Birthday then, geez! I didn't know! I'm sorry! I would've gotten a gift or-"

"I don't want your gifts! I'm still getting over a boyfriend whom I loved that DIED IN THE WAR!"

"I could make it up to you?"

"Jacob," Alice spoke up. "I think it would be best if you just left Bella alone today, alright? It's not a good day." He walked away. What?

"Alice! How in the hell did you do that?" I asked. I have never been able to send him away before. And with a few words and a pleasant voice, Alice had whisked him away to Neverland!

"I just have a few tricks up my sleeve, you know?" she winked, but her face suddenly went still.

"Uh, Alice?"

"Shit! The time! You woke up so late, Bella. We are supposed to meet someone 5:30 at Maneki!" She screamed at me. I do have eardrums for now. I'd like to keep it that way.

"Sushi?"

"Yes. Come on now! We'll be late!"

At Mankei, Alice had called Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme.

Even though we went to the same high school, we never were around each other. I had met Rose in one of my English classes as a freshman in college. With beautiful blue eyes, she was a blonde bombshell with a smokin' bod, and one of the smartest people I knew. She could duel anyone in Jeopardy, or even tinker a car. Because she was Jasper's older sister, her maiden name was Hale, but now was a McCarty. She married her long time boyfriend Emmett from California.

Emmett's a character. He lived in California, but moved to Seattle after he graduated to get started on college, and to wait for Rose. He came to Forks nearly every weekend, and always on breaks. With short, dark curly hair and golden brown eyes, he's a wonder. What really frightens people is the fact he's taller than Jasper, and is as wide as a semi truck.

Carlisle and Esme are my sort of adoptive parents. After I never got another letter, I was crushed, but I started to spend a little more time with his parents. I'd look at different baby pictures, and sometimes even spend nights in his room. They were taking it a lot better than I was, which was odd. Many times they said I was perfect for him, and that they wished he could be here...with me.

Esme always wanted me to give her some grand babies, and I'd have no objection. Just not now. I'd want to be married first. I doubted that would ever happen now, though.

Over sushi we talked about different memories we had of each other, or different silly things. To me, it was all fairly vague, and not a happy birthday at all.

You couldn't tell it was my birthday. There were no presents, no cake, and no "Happy Birthday!" Like I wanted.

It had been a silent ride home, and my thinking had taken up most of the time.

"Out of the car, Bella! You're being emo again. Quit it please?" Alice lightly scolded me. She always told me I was being 'emo.' If I didn't talk enough, if I didn't smile enough. I suppose that's just Alice.

"Yes honey," I said in an overly sarcastic tone. "Let's get to my apartment okay? I'll call you when I get inside!" I started to sprint up the stairs after looking Alice straight in the eyes. She knew that it was a challenge, and that I meant business.

I beat her to the top and stuck out my tongue.

"Mmm, how's that taste, loser?" I taunted.

"Call me in the morning, okay?" she asked. Her voice was a little shaky, and I was getting jumpy. She seemed a little off tonight.

"Okay?" Why would I call her in the morning? "I love you, Alice. Goodnight," I said as I hugged her goodbye. I should've invited her inside. I could have a shoulder to cry on. Not just a television and a tub of Ben & Jerry's.

"I love you too, sweetie!" She hugged me back five times tighter than I thought was possible. Like the magical creature she is, she sped down the stairs, was out the door, and started her car in a millisecond.

I loved her.

I opened my door and began to cry. I slammed it shut and sat on the ground and leaned back against it. With my head in my hands, I chanted, "I miss you," and "Come back to me," like mantras.

I hushed when I heard a door click shut and I saw someone round the corner. It was a man...?

"B-Bella?" He barely whispered. His voice was still the same, even in the one word he said. He stood and crossed the room slowly, stopping in front of me. "I missed you so much," he choked the words out. His eyes were tearing up, and he was shaking as he knelt to the ground and put his arms around me. I gladly sunk into them, and wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging as tight as I could.

I was crying, loudly, and staining his shirt with my tears. He didn't seem to mind, as he hugged me tighter. I turned my face upwards to his and gently pressed my lips to his.

He must not have had the same control he used to, because he forcefully had his way with my mouth. It was passionate, and aggressive, but I felt the love in it. With him there was always love. Our lips were meeting perfectly in sync, as if we were never apart.

"Stop," I whispered.

He did.

"You're back, Edward!"

A/N: Please review? It'd really be sweet. And while you do, what's your favorite band?