Malachite's First Love By NAT

Disclaimer: We do not own Mystery Science Theater, or Sailor Moon, so do not sue us..please.



"You're late Malachite.." said Prince Endymion.



"I know," Malachite slowly sipped his punch. "Why?"

TOM:-Malachite- I was banging yo' mama. JOEL: The question is. why not?

"Because I can be. What do you think?"

CROW: So stick that in your royal pipe and smoke it.

"Impressive." Jedite smirked.

FRANK:-Jedite- BUT CAN YOU DO THIS! *shoves his whole fist in his mouth*

"Do you arrive late to every ball?"

JOEL: -Malachite- He's on to me. *glances around nervously*

"When I can. The King throws two to three balls a week! I tire of them."

CROW: you what? You "tire" of them? Why does he talk like he has a pineapple up his anal canal? ALL: *shrug*

"I don't blame you," Jedite said. He ran his fingers through his hair,

TOM: I suddenly have the urge.the urge.to herbal.

and continued conversing with Malachite, who was only half listening to what Jedite was saying. Malachite was glancing around the crowd and trying to ignore the music.

JOEL: Great plan. Next he'll try to ignore the pineapple shoved up his anal canal. CROW: What good would that do him?

Then he spotted Zoicite sitting at a table by herself with a drink in her hand. Malachite watched, unable to stop staring at her as she sipped it. She made periodic checks toward the ballroom's door every fifteen seconds, Malachite counted.

TOM: 4:05. Finally, his goal realized, Malachite exits the bathroom.

"Excuse me, General," Malachite said. He put his punch glass down and quickly moved through the crowd towards Zoicite.

JOEL: I wonder if they spiked that punch.

"Zoicite, are you all right?" He asked once he had arrived at the table that she was sitting at. "Oh Malachite, I'm so worried about Nephlite. He hasn't arrived yet! What if he has gotten lost in the palace or has decided not to come!

TOM:-Malachite- I know how he feels! The damn thing's a fucking labyrinth!

I've been waiting for him for a long time! He was supposed to have picked me up an hour ago! he didn't show, so I came here, thinking that I would find him, but he's not here!"

CROW: Let's cry about it!!! Waaaahh!!

"Zoicite..." Malachite began.

JOEL: -Malachite- Seeing you look so sad has made me realize.that I. that I. think you're a crybaby. So don't talk to me again.

He stared into her eyes. The look of pain and worry on her face was so sincere. She really loves him, Malachite thought. "I'm sure he will be here, don't worry." Malachite replied softly. "If you like I can send someone to locate him for you."

CROW: Seek and destroy, kinda thing.

If he has stood her up I'll... Malachite's thoughts were cut off. "There he is!" Zoicite exclaimed, jumping to her feet.

JOEL: Knocking malachite over, causing to fall on his keys. CROW: OW!

"Nephlite! Nephlite!" She smiled and waved and called until she got his attention. Nephlite was walking and talking with two officials.

TOW: but can he walk, talk, and do the Sha-boom at the same time? CROW: it it still called the Sha-boom? I thought it was called doggy style? TOM: THE SHA-BOOM IS A DANCE, YOU LEMON! NOT A SEXUAL POSITION!

He sees Zoicite and blows her a kiss, but then completely turns back to his conversation and begins walking in another direction.

CROW: How come that sentence is in present tense? JOEL: Are you like the Grammar Police today or what?

"Oh Malachite, he's so wonderful!" Zoicite exclaimed, smiling.

TOM: -Zoicite- I love it when he blows me off!

Those words cut Malachite like a knife. "I'm glad he... makes you happy, Zoicite." How dare he not even come over and say hello to her!

JOEL: HOW DARE HE?! WHAT WAS THAT @$%&*%! THINKING!?!

Malachite scowled in Nephlite's direction . CROW:*French accent* I SCOWL IN YOUR GENERAL DI-RRECTION!

Zoicite sat down again and gave Malachite a weak smile. Malachite looked down and her and gasped from just the sight of her.

ALL: GASP!

She had a black flower in her hair,

TOM: Kinda morbid.

and her face was made up just right to enhance her already perfect (At least to Malachite) features.

JOEL: to everyone else she was plain butt-ugly.

And those eyes... and what a gorgeous dress!

CROW: Is this the author or Malachite speaking?

Zoicite wore a strapless black dress that went all the way down to the floor. It complimented her figure beautifully. And black was one of Malachite's favorite colors. "I think that Nephlite is motioning for you," Malachite said as he spotted Malachite try to get Zoicite's attention.

JOEL: And then Malachite waved, while Malachite was going to get Malachite a glass of punch.

"Oh!" Zoicite jumped up and smiled at Malachite again, a larger smile this time. "Thank you, Malachite."

TOM:-Zoicite- by the way, my favorite color is white! Tee-hee!

Malachite blushed but was unable to speak, he was too entranced by her

JOEL: HUGE ass! CROW: Joel.don't talk about big butts. JOEL: Crow.don't talk, period.

beauty. He watched as Zoicite runs off in Nephlite's direction. He doesn't deserve her! Malachite turned around in a fury and strode through the crowd.

TOM: Hey, the way the story's going, Malachite should kill everyone by morning.

He turned around and saw Nephlite talk to the two officials and show Zoicite to them like she was a prize that he had just won.

TOM: She was attached to a fishing pole that Nephlite was holding up.

Malachite growled. I'm leaving.

JOEL: -Malachite- *pout* They're all just a buncha meanies! *pout*

I cannot watch this, he thought. He made his way over to the King. "I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I'm feeling rather... indisposed,

CROW: induwhat?

and I would ask your permission to leave." "Of course. Is everything all right, Malachite?" "Everything's fine,

TOM: Juuuuust peachy

Your Majesty," Malachite lied, hiding the scowl that he reserved for Nephlite

CROW: *waiter* sorry, this scowl is reserved.we'll have a scowl for you in about 55 minutes FRANK: *snaps fingers* aw shucks.

until he had turned his back to the king. Malachite strode out of the ball wearing that scowl. How dare he treat Zoicite that way! She deserves so much better! How can I let him-I CAN'T!

TOM: Geez, I don't even talk to myself this much.

Malachite turns around and quickly walks back into the ballroom. He walks right over to where Nephlite and Zoicite were dancing. "May I cut

CROW: you?

in?" he asked boldly. Zoicite beamed at Malachite, and Nephlite gave him a tight glance.

JOEL: A tight.glance. A tight glance. A tight glance.

"Of course, General," he said. Malachite reached and took Zoicite's hand and pulled her into his arms. He slipped his other arm around her waist. Oh the way she fit into his arms was perfect! She smelled like roses and she was SO graceful. Malachite made sure to lead her away from Nephlite. Zoicite laid her head in Malachite's chest and both of her arms were tightly wrapped around his waist. Her eyes were shut and she moaned contentedly.

TOM: hehehehehehehe CROW: *immature giggle*

"Malachite," she whispered. I love her, Malachite thought. I can't believe it, but I love her. Caught up in his own emotion, he gently rested his head on Zoicite's hair. It appeared that Zoicite was also moved by his emotion and tightened her arms around his waist. Malachite sighed. "Oh I love you so much, Nephlite." Oh I love you too-- WHAT did she call me? Malachite's head snapped up,

JOEL: causing his neck to fracture and his whole body collapsed on the floor.

and his heart sank like a stone. Zoicite didn't even notice. She was smiling, and obviously thinking of Nephlite. The dance ended just then, but Zoicite didn't notice that, either. She kept her arms around Malachite, still "dancing" long after the music had stopped! Malachite was heartbroken because he knew that Zoicite wasn't thinking about him. "Zoicite," he said to her, reaching down and gently removing her arms from his waist. "Zoicite, the song is over."

JOEL: -Malachite- And everyone's staring at your huge ass.

he said. Zoicite's eyes snapped open and her head snapped up just then. "Oh! Malachite! Thanks for the dance!" Nephlite arrived at that moment. "Let's go, Zoi," he said. Zoicite ran over to him. "Good Evening, General Malachite," she said. Nephlite just gave Malachite a smug look.

CROW: Touché.

Malachite saluted Nephlite respectfully,

JOEL: Wait, isn't Malachite the higher general?

easily managing to hide the pain and fury that was trying to overtake him. After that, Malachite really did leave the ball, and went back to his chambers.

JOEL: and cried.

He longed to speak to Endymion, but he wouldn't be back for a week. It's going to be a long week, Malachite thought. He decided to turn in early.

The next morning, Malachite woke up-- on the floor!

TOM: Dressed in pink lingerie! JOEL: with "Lesbian Ape Whores" in the VCR! CROW: and a match box with a number and a lipstick mark on it!

I must have fallen out of bed! Malachite thought. Indeed, Malachite had passed a hard night. CROW: "Lesbian Ape Whores"?.thats.ugh, gross Two of his sheets were ripped to pieces and on the floor, some of the stuffing had come out of his pillow, the slat had come out of his mattress, and there he was on the floor!

CROW:-Malachite- the damn bitch took all my money and ran.

Malachite jumped to his feet, showered, and then put on his uniform and cloak. The anticipation of seeing Zoicite again was overwhelming. In fact, he would see her in a few minutes, he was going to meet the three new Generals that very morning to brief them on their palace duties. Before Malachite left his chambers, he made sure to have a servant come in to replace his bedding and put the room back together.

CROW: -servant attached to electrical circuit- dum-de*ZAP*GYAAA! Ok ok! Geez.Whata dick-weed.

Malachite quickly headed for the briefing room, hoping that Zoicite would show up early. He smiled inwardly

TOM: as apposed to outwardly

to himself from just the thought ot Zoicite.

CROW: "ot"?! 'the hell?

He hoped that he would leave the meeting with her, and perhaps treat her to lunch.

Malachite left the meeting with something, all right.

JOEL: with a huge cucumber up his cervex. CROW: Wha? I.didn't.know-ahg-AGHHHHHH! *explodes*

He left with a headache and in a bad mood! He had attempted to brief Nephlite, Zoicite, and Jedite, but then the King had to show up and start talking to Nephlite, and then Nephlite statred kissing up to the King, and to Zoicite!

JOEL: *Screws last bolt into Crow* Sorry buddy! CROW: Yeah, well you should be!

Malachite's stomach turned everytime Nephlite commented on how beautiful Zoicite was, everytime he smiled at her flirtatiously, every time he whispered in her ears and made her laugh.

JOEL: while the king was around? That's kinda rude. TOM: and kinda nasty!

And the King talked about him so approvingly! The way Zoicite reacted was the worst. Malachite could see the love shining on Zoicite's eyes everytime she looked at Nephlite.

TOM: -Zoicite-OW! GADDAMIT! I CAN'T SEE A DAMN THING WITH THIS LOVE SHINING IN MY EYES!

Give it up, Malachite, he thought. She doesn't love you and never will. Oh, where's Endymion when I need him?



End Chapter 2!!

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