Chapter 2


3.00 p.m.
At the park with Dave the L.
He pretended to scratch his arm and then rested his hand on my lap.
I smiled at him but all I could think about was the Twix in his hand going all over my new cream trousers. So I crossed my legs and his hand dropped off (not entirely, just off my lap). Phew, that was close.
"So… what's going on with you and Robbie?"
"I don't really know. I am not 'seeing' him, so… you know. I am free and single, single and free. You know the way."
He's looking at me, and I'm looking back, blinking like a blinky thing.

3.45 p.m.
Oh GOD!
Me and Dave the Laugh snogged! Again! My red bottomosity is getting out of control once more.

3.46 p.m.
But it was actually very nice snogging him. And you know, he is rather cool looking. Phoned Jas to tell her the news, but no one picked up. I suppose she is still out collecting acorns with Hunky.

10.00 p.m.
The clown crew have just left in their clown-mobiles. Unfortunately they forgot to take my father with them.

Monday December 27th

The Ace Gang are coming round later to get ready for the gig tonight. I hope Dave the L. isn't there. Anyway, why do I care? He is nothing to me, in my state of sophisticosity and maturosity.

6.18 p.m.
Sitting with my nose in its knicker hammock.

6.30 p.m.
Ace Gang have just arrived. Nutritious snack of oven chips before the tarting up begins!
Rosie said through a mouthful of cheesy snacks
"So I heard that you and Dave the Laugh snogged again."
"Who told you?"
"Well Dave told Tom, who told Jas who told us." Merde. Do they have no lives of their own?

6.55. p.m.
Getting ready. Facemask. Foundation. Lippy. Mascara.
"I am pondering over whether to wear my boy entrancers tonight. After, you know, what happened last time."
"Which, um, boy are you trying to entrance, Georgia?" Is Ellen really still hung up on Dave the L.? Pathetico.
"I don't know." She is completely ridiculous. Dave is just my laugh. He is, after all, called Dave the Laugh and not Dave the Snog.
"I suppose there's no point in, um, wearing them then." Oh mon deiu!

7.30 p.m.
Huddling outside the club, waiting to go in. Jools has started fiddling with her knicks, which are, by the way, a tragic shade of grey.
"Jools, what in the name of Wet Lindsay's bra and matching thong set are you doing?"
"Adjusting my knicks. Rollo bought them for me, but I said I was a size six when really I'm a ten. The elastic is digging into-"
"So you lied to him?"
"Well, y-"
"Abut your knick knack size?"
"Come on, it's-"
"That is low, Jools. Really low." And I walked away from them all.
I really am too mature for them. They are so shallow.

7.35 p.m.
In the loos adjusting my nungas.

7.40 p.m.

The Laugh has entered the building! And he's walking towards me! Oh god. Pouty pout, flickity flick. Smiling smiling, nose sucky in.
"Hi Gorgeous." Oh god.
"Hello, Dave."
"I didn't know you would be here. Can't get enough of me, eh?" He's grinning at me now like a grinning thing. Stay calm, stay calm.
"I just have to go and…drink." See, that was okay.
"Oh, I'll come with you."


Third part coming soon! Leave reviews!

xx