Chapter Two: A Past Uncertainty
The Dragonfly Inn was immaculately decorated, the last detail planned in such a whimsical and quirky manner that it screamed Lorelai Gilmore. A simple ribbon of dark purple silk hugged the white lilies that were sitting on the reception desk and throughout the interior of the inn.
Rory was standing in the foyer, her slim figure fitting nicely into the strapless bridesmaid dress (also of that deep purple color that Lorelai took forever to choose). Conversing with Miss Patty with a taller man with dirty blonde hair standing idly by, she turned her head allowing for a figure in the dining room to catch her eye.
Miss Patty was quick to notice this movement, "Rory, honey. What is it?" Rory shifted her attention back to the woman as quickly as possible, as if startled by the sudden reemergence into the real world. Miss Patty caught where her gaze had just been. "It's been a while, hasn't it sweetheart?"
"Yeah." She looked back over at the figure in the distance that was casually standing next to the groom, beer in hand. Her reply came out slightly above a whisper as memories of their last meeting rapidly flowed through her head.
"Who is that?"
Rory looked back toward her company: Adam Gregerson. They had been seeing each other for a few months, meeting as a friend of a friend the year before. Words didn't seem able to form, something Miss Patty took notice of. "Oh, that's just Jess! Nothing to worry about. He's old news, isn't he Rory?"
Realizing that she really hadn't said anything since noticing Jess, Rory looked up at Adam with a weak smile, "Of course. That's Luke's nephew. We're old friends. Haven't seen him in a while…" She began to ramble and stopped herself.
"Ex-boyfriend, huh?" Adam looked at Rory, a sparkle in his pale blue eyes.
Rory looked somewhat relieved, "Yeah."
"Can we meet?"
She began to fiddle with her hair, "You want to meet him?"
"Sure, why not?"
"Um, okay. Sure." They began to walk toward Jess and Luke, Rory giving a slight wave to Miss Patty as they walked away.
Jess took a sip from his beer as Luke ranted about the possibility of the diner burning down in the forthcoming week that he was going to leave Cesar in charge. He had also mentioned something about cold bananas that Jess didn't quite understand.
"You worry too much." They were the first words she had heard him speak in three years. A sudden rush of time flooded her memory. Of course she had seen him at the wedding, but they hadn't had a chance to speak until now. He was too busy to involve himself in all the preparation activities the weeks prior, despite being the best man. He only arrived in town early that morning. Luke didn't mind. It was always great to see his nephew.
Rory and Adam were close enough to join the two men at that moment. She bit her lip. Adam placed his hand on the small of her back.
She turned to Luke first, "Hi, Luke!" She gave him a small hug that she knew would generally make him uncomfortable. "I can't believe it! Finally!"
He chuckled, "Finally, definitely finally."
Smiling back at him she turned her attention to Jess. Her voice came soft as she smiled. "Hi, Jess."
Jess raised his caramel colored bottle at her, "Rory." He took a swig.
She offered a small smile, "It's good to see you." A beat. "Oh, um.. this is Adam. Adam this is Jess."
Adam stuck his hand out for a shake. Jess merely nodded his head at the slightly-taller man.
Luke, a man usually known for his obliviousness, could even feel the tension. "I'm going to go find Lorelai." He leaned into Jess and spoke softly, "Good luck." Jess grinned. Luke began to walk away but turned around a couple of strides later, "Good to see you again, Adam."
Adam beamed a perfect smile, "Same."
"You don't have to walk me." Rory stated as they were both already outside, bundled in coats to protect themselves from the cool winter weather.
"A little too late." He made a gesture. "We're outside. We're walking. Probably safe to assume a destination is in mind."
"You know what I meant."
Jess looked at her and offered a pleased look before looking straight ahead. "Huh."
She stopped. "What?" It was asked with a sense of joy, full of curiosity.
"Nothing." He followed suit and stopped as well.
"C'mon, Jess. Tell me."
He stuck his hands in his front pants pockets and began teetering back and forth on his heels. "It's nice to see you. Been a while." She swept her hair out of her face and tucked some loose strands behind her ears. She looked down at her shoes: Simple heels, peep toe. "You're blushing." His voice made her eyes snap up to meet his.
"Am not." She started walking forward again. Fast. "But it's nice to see you too."
"You're defining evasive as we speak." He was right behind her.
"It's cold, my apartment's two feet away."
"Still stubborn I see." He cocked his head as she took out her key.
Putting the key into the lock, "You've met my mother. You know. Same eyes. Same stubborn attitude. I'm the spitting image, you know, with a slightly higher grasp on reality."
"I recall." He smiled.
She smiled back, "Thanks for walking me."
"I was hoping we could talk some more."
"Oh," She genuinely looked surprised. He was more honest than she remembered, "Do you want to come inside? Have some coffee?"
"I really should get back to the party."
"Right. Sometime soon then?"
He nodded, "You free soon? We could maybe do dinner...you know, food in front of us so we can distract ourselves when it gets too awkward." He let out a small chuckle.
"I'd like that." Rory beamed. "Let me see your phone."
He arched an eyebrow, "Gonna read my dirty texts?"
"You're ridiculous." He handed her his phone and she started pressing buttons. "My number's in there now. So contact me with the details."
"No dirty texts, I take it?"
"Probably too soon, I'd say." She crossed her arms over her chest. They stood feet away from one another. She offered him a smile, "Good night, Jess."
"Night, Rory."
Fifteen minutes later, Adam got a call and excused himself from the awkward situation. Jess and Rory were now alone.
"I think he may be the first boyfriend of yours that I actually like."
"I didn't ask you to like him. You're not in charge of my dowry." Rory rolled her eyes. "At any rate, you don't even like him. I can tell." She laughed.
"Hey, I could like him. He didn't spend all that time glaring at me. Your other suitors liked to do that." He was teasing her.
She smiled at that, "Sorry about this. He said he wanted to meet you…it's all very awkward."
He shrugged, "Like I said, it is what it is."
"I still feel bad for…"
"It's old news, Rory." He cut her off with a wave of his hand.
"I'm still sorry."
It was late when Jess finally arrived at his apartment. He loosened his tie, slipped off his shoes and padded into the kitchen. He made his way to the large bag of potato chips on the small island.
He could see his roommate passed out in the adjacent living room (in reality, the bulk of the apartment was one room where a kitchen, sitting area, and dining room table served their intended purposes in a loft-like atmosphere). The table lamp was on and there were bottles of beer scattered on the coffee table.
Jess nudged him with his foot, simultaneously taking a handful of chips out of the bag, and the man stirred.
"Hey, Pete."
The man rubbed his eyes and stretched. Dark stubble was apparent on his features, "Ugh."
Jess sat down next to him on the couch. A worn-out thing, comfortable in its own right. "Wasn't aware I was living with a caveman. You've been moping around all week. What's the deal?"
"Headache…"
Jess gestured toward the cluttered coffee table, "I can see why."
"Yup." He got up and lumbered into the kitchen. Reaching into the pantry, he took out the bottle of aspirin.
Jess turned around on the couch to look at him, "Seriously, man. You look terrible."
"El and I broke up." Peter admitted while staring at the sink, waiting for his glass to fill with water. He popped two pills and turned around to face Jess. Slightly muscular arms supported him as he leaned against the counter.
Jess' eyes widened. "Eleanor? Pretty blonde. The one you've been with since college?"
Peter rolled his eyes, "That's the one."
"Fuck, I'm sorry…"
Peter was staring at his feet. "I really thought she could have been it."
"Most do." Jess shrugged. "Until it's over."
Peter shuffled for something in his pocket. Retrieving it, he tossed it as Jess. "No, I really thought she could have been it."
Jess opened the small box containing a ring: Small, silver, encrusted with diamonds. "Jesus…"
"Yup." Peter got two beers from the fridge and sat back down next to Jess. Twisting off the cap of the first bottle he handed it to Jess before opening one for himself. "Told me she had feelings for this guy who works in her IT department."
Jess watched as his roommate took a mouthful of ale. He followed suit and they sat in silence. "Caroline showed up at the thing tonight."
"What'd she want?"
Jess simply shrugged. "She's swinging by tomorrow so we can talk or whatever."
Peter raised an eyebrow, "Do you need me to be gone when she's here?"
"I'd prefer it if you were here." Another sip.
"Still hung up on her, eh?"
"It was nice to see her…" Jess trailed before finishing the rest of his beer in one gulp.
Jess looked at the clock. 11:55. Five minutes. He wasn't particularly anal about the time, but knowing Caroline, she was punctual to the second. The living room was still covered in beer bottles and other random foodstuffs Peter and him had grabbed the night before. He had thought about cleaning up but decided it better if it looked as if her presence would not affect him in any way, especially when it came to housekeeping.
12:00. On the dot, a buzz echoed through the apartment. "Deep breaths, man." Peter announced from his room. Jess walked over to the door and buzzed her in. He unlocked the door and went to sit on one of the stools in front of the island where his coffee sat steaming.
A minute later, there was a knock on the door, "Come in."
Caroline smiled as she walked in. Her face only lightly covered in makeup, her dark brown hair placed in a messy bun on the top of her head, her favorite pair of prescription glasses perched high on the bridge of her nose. She was wearing simple blue jeans and a white T-shirt. Her look was effortless, although Jess knew everything she was wearing must have been expensive despite this. "Hey." She sat down on the stool next to him.
Jess sipped at his coffee before replying. He was still wearing the sweatpants and wrinkled T-shirt he had changed into for bed. Behind his mug, he smirked ever so slightly at their different ideas of casual dress. "Hi."
"So…" She was looking down at her hands as they wrung one another in her lap.
"Yes?"
She let out a small laugh, "You're not even going to help me out here, are you?"
"I told you last night I had nothing to talk about. So if you want to talk, I'm here, I'm listening. That's all I can offer." Anger laced his words as each syllable bounced from tongue to teeth.
Her voice came out small as she continued to look at her lap and not him, "I don't know how you can be so mad at me when we weren't even together…"
He took a hand and lifted her chin so that she was looking at him, "I…" he could feel the honesty ready to pour out. "After we broke up, things kind of stayed the same, you know? And then you tell me you met this guy." He dropped his hand from her face and returned it to its place, gripping around his coffee.
"We were broken up, Jess…"
"It still didn't feel that way to me. My feelings, they never changed. When we were still getting…together…I still…"
"Still what?" Her eyes glowed although the complete brilliance of her features were dimmed by the fluorescent lighting in the apartment.
"Still loved you." His voice came out as a mumble and he lifted his coffee to his lips to further distract himself from what he had just admitted.
Caroline stared at him until he set the mug down. He returned her gaze. "You loved me?" He just nodded and she reached out for his hand. "Do you still…?"
He stared into her eyes for what seemed like an eternity. His thoughts creating a million answers for that one, unfinished question. Yes. No. I don't know. Does it matter? Bingo. He settled on his final thought, a typical method of his: Answering a question he didn't want to answer with another question. "Does it matter?" He moved his hand away from hers.
Jess watched as her eyes darkened, "I don't know. I'd like to think so." Her words were always so articulate, always so thoughtful.
"No." He lied through his teeth. Was it even a lie? He wasn't sure.
"No?"
"No, I don't." He said it with more confidence, hoping that it was the truth.
"Alright, then. I guess I should go."
Jess turned his attention back to his coffee and nodded a good-bye. She stood up and walked toward the foyer. A second later, the only evidence of her presence disappeared with the click of the closing door.
Enamored with the staring contest he was having with his beverage, Jess hardly heard Peter approach. He snapped to reality as Peter opened the fridge. "She wasn't here very long."
"She always was very straight to the point." Jess got up and stuck his mug in the sink to wash later.
"Did you lie to her?"
"I don't know."
"Are you going to find out?"
"I don't know."
