Chapter 2- Haunted.

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A wise man once told me, 'family don't end in blood.' But it doesn't start there either. Family cares about you, not what you can do for them. Family is there, for the good, bad, all of it. They got your back, even when it hurts. That's family." (Dean quoting Bobby, spn.

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Danny didn't feel right about Steve's actions lately. Since that day he got that weird call, two days ago actually, Steve h'd been acting strange. Cagey, serious and sometimes almost sad. He was absent minded most of the time. Almost as absent from work, and he refused to talk about it. No matter how much Danny nagged.

He was worried. He really wanted to know who had called Steve that day. Because that's when all this weird behavior started. And it wasn't Lynn who had called him like he had lied to him saying. Danny had let It go, then. But the fact that Steve had needed to lie to him using Lynn like that, well that just made him even more curious. And worried. Something weird was going on here, and not in a good way.

….

This was hard. Steve sat on his desk in his office late at night, thinking. He had thought it through and something didn't seem quite right. He had never felt this way before; this kind of doubt before a mission. His team had already been given all the details of the mission, at least what they needed to know. It was an important mission alright, and that meant dangerous. One he could not refuse, one he may likely not come back from.

Steve started thinking about that. About how he might not come back from this one. How this goodbye might be the final one. There had been very few missions he had gone to that were like this one, but he had never felt this huge weight on his shoulders before. This reluctance to leave. Maybe because he didn't have much of family when he had gone to those missions then. Had not felt like he had anything to lose.

Maybe he was just getting old for this. There was a reason for each and every man who had been selected for this mission. They were the best. And there was a reason why he was part of that group. Why he was the one leading them. He had always been reliably, expendable; so were these men. But some things had changed over the years, He had become human, hesitant. So, had some of these men. Some had families now, some had lives, and that should be a factor used in the team selection process. Apparently, they didn't use the same factor this time. Maybe, because they were the best of the best, specially selected by Mayfield himself. And unless one was dead, there was no escape from a mission like this. The real Black Ops team. Not just anyone could qualify to be in a team like this. Yeah, things had changed. What hadn't changed, unfortunately, was them. They were still the same killing machines they had been trained to be. They could always just switch to that mode, no matter how long that channel hadn't been used. And they would fight for God and Country without question.

However, Steve was not quite sure he was being asked to fight for God or Country this time. The details had been a little sketchy. And he wasn't the only one who had noticed it. Mayfield's attitude this time had been a little off, and some of the guys had noticed.

He remembered his conversation with Jack McCain just after their briefing. They had been friends when they were in the Navy together and had been on the black ops team together too. He was one of the bravest men he had ever served with, but right then the guy was in serious doubt.

"You know what man, I was sure glad to see you being a part of this team, McGarrett. I could not ask for a better man to lead us into enemy waters than you." He had said, and Steve had just smiled at him in appreciation. Steve hated this. Having to be responsible for these men's lives again, especially on a mission like this.

"Hey, did you notice anything strange with Mayfield? In the briefing?" McCain had asked.

"What do you mean?" Steve had noticed something, but he had dismissed it. Now, if someone else found it strange too, then it couldn't be a coincidence now, could it?

"I mean, Mayfield looked like he didn't want to be in that briefing man, what's up with that? I mean, a man like Mayfield, he doesn't show much on his face but this time, he just seemed…" McCain continued.

"Maybe he's just getting old, Jack. We all are. Things have changed." Steve said dismissively. Trying to keep the faith and resolve of his team intact. It was typical for anyone of them to go into doubt mode before a mission like this. Much like he was doing himself right then. It was just nerves and it had been too long. Nerves were getting the better of them. Weird though, his old self would be half excited about this mission, it was dangerous enough.

"I wrote my will and made sure I had my things in order before I leave. When I got that call from Mayfield the other day, l just knew that I might not be so lucky again this time. I don't know man, I got a family now, I have a kid." He said, reaching into his pocket to take out a picture of a smiling little girl. "Take a look at my little girl. She's just four, man." He sighed and put the picture back in his pocket. "I have a life now Steve. People to live for, not just die for. And I want to make sure that this mission is worth my life, because it didn't seem like it was all about God or Country in that briefing. You know I would fight for those at any given time. But that seemed more like someone else's vendetta or something. I don't want to leave my family fatherless because of some higher up's personal schemes." McCain said.

Steve understood. He felt the same way, but he was the leader here. He had a role to play. But that didn't mean he didn't feel like a sheep being taken to the slaughter like McCain did.

"It wouldn't be the first time though." He said, solemnly to McCain."God knows we have fought for so much less than God and country. Don't think about it too much. Don't question it. Fight for God and fight for your country without question. The mission has merit and if the White-house sanctioned it, then we don't need a better reason." Steve said.

"That's just the thing, Steve. I don't think it was sanctioned. I don't know, I just have doubts about this."

"Well don't, that's a recipe for you to get killed on a mission if you think like that." Steve had admonished.

Now as he thought about it, he could not just dismiss McCain's allegations so easily. He had to err on the side of caution. Not that he was going to abort the mission or anything, he didn't have the power to do that even if he was the SEAL commander. He could, but it better be a damn good reason, not just a gut feeling or he'd be relieved of command. He too had people to live for and not just die for. He may not have a wife and kids, but he had family. He had people who would care whether he lived or died. He had people who would be devastated by his loss, people who counted on him to keep living. People he didn't want to say goodbye to with the possibility of never seeing them gain, people he loved.

Yeah, he will dutifully go and fight for God and country but just in case God wasn't involved in this and his President didn't know, he needed an insurance policy.

Because he had people now, who would stop at nothing to make sure he came back. People who would poke around the wrong places trying to find him even if they had no clue where to start looking. And if God was not involved in this, and his country unaware, things like that could get his people killed. Or they could be used against him if he ever got captured. There were ties he had to sever before he could pack his bag and go for a mission like this, at least on paper. Anything that could be traced and linked to him. If only he could make these people do likewise and erase his existence from their minds and their hearts. But he knew they would never let him go, just like he couldn't let them go. Stubborn people who, if given a chance, would bring him back home, dead or alive. No matter what. It was exasperating to thing about it. Steve would have to make sure those people got that chance. Because he wanted to come back, for them.

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See you in a little bit.