Chapter is not really based on the song, but it fits well into Simon's situation: Things I'll Never Say, By Avril Lavigne

So, here's the, well, official first chapter, but lets just call it the second, 'cause otherwise it gets confusing XD

Enjoy!


Simon Seville was having a problem.

Alvin had been gone for fifteen minutes, and the younger of the two was worried; but he was trying not to be. In fact, he was trying not to think about Alvin at all.

For months and months, Simon had really been trying to get rid of this little crush he still had on Alvin, but the truth is that it wasn't so little anymore. It was only a couple of months ago, that Christmas had been celebrated, and by then, Simon was shyly keeping close to mistletoe.

Embarrassing, yes, to admit, but Alvin's kiss was what was getting him this worked up.

Simon hadn't been able to think straight in the last couple of weeks. If Alvin wasn't at home, Simon would get worried and really couldn't concentrate. Even reading a book was getting hard to do.

Simon sighed and stood, adjusting his glasses.

Unfortunately, Alvin didn't even consider Simon as a kind of interest; love or good friend. He was that old stubborn, egotistical brother he was before spring.

Before spring... spring was about to come again, that Simon could count on. Actually, he kept a secret count-down for spring. A little secret he didn't want to admit to himself. Sure, he was hopeful that spring would be the same (more or less) as last spring. But, he didn't want to risk it all and have Alvin feeling something unreal, again. This time, he couldn't deal with that kind of heartbreak.

He and Alvin were half mates, though, so that wouldn't be going away anytime soon.

Simon was in their shared bedroom, ready to start pacing in worry. Separation anxiety? Maybe. All he knew was that if Alvin didn't come back soon, he would go look for him.

Downstairs, the door was opened roughly and almost slammed shut. Alvin was home.

Trying to stifle that elated feeling Simon had in the pit of his stomach, the bespectacled brother quickly grabbed a random book and collapsed onto his bed, pulling it open and reading.

A red blur entered the room quickly and closed the door just as roughly as downstairs. Simon found himself worried about how he might look, but kept his eyes on his page, trying not to blush.

Alvin gave an irritated sigh and lay down on his own bed, still rather annoyed at Brittany.

He looked over the room and saw Simon lying there on his bed, reading a book like usual. Alvin had to admit, almost every time he was in the room with Simon, the younger brother was reading. It was starting to get suspicious. Alvin couldn't help but blush when he looked at Simon; he had no feelings for him, but the things he remembered doing with Simon last year were a stain on his memory, and he hated thinking about it. Having Simon around him just reminded him of his bruised reputation.

He sighed. 'Hi, Simon,' he greeted, regardless of not wanting to talk to him.

Simon nodded in response and continued reading. Alvin was grateful Simon seemed to know when he wasn't in the mood to talk. Actually, Simon was being extremely compatible with Alvin, lately, and it was getting harder to throw the usual fights. Not that they didn't fight, because there was a lot... okay, maybe ten... or less – so they hadn't fought as much as usual.

Most likely, Simon wanted to get rid of every thought of last spring, just like Alvin.

How wrong he was.

Simon was trying to devise a way to tell Alvin his feelings before spring, so that it would be real if Alvin agreed to them. But, he'd been trying this for a month, and was nowhere near close to getting the courage to tell Alvin any of his feelings.

He supposed he should get a move on, since spring should start in two days, and... well, there'd be no turning back. Alvin's "pain" would hit and Simon would have to help him out, and everything would be repeated.

Alvin was deep in thought. Brittany had told him spring was in a week, and he wasn't looking forward to it, now that he knew what he would be going through, it would be much harder to restrain the thoughts of last spring, and there was the possibility that someone might see them, like Jeanette had.

He had to admit, he felt some hollow feeling. Like something was missing, and it had been there for a long while, now. Probably since the end of last spring, but he couldn't decide what it was. It was like some amazing thing had happened and all he was left with was the longing for that feeling again, but he had no clue as to what it was in the first place. This, among other things, frustrated him most when he was around Simon.

Sighing loudly again, Alvin got up and walked over to Simon, feeling a little awkward.

He noticed a blush forming on Simon's cheeks and smiled a bit; he wasn't sure why. It was just funny.

He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at Simon intently. 'Simon..?' He asked softly. The younger nodded again, glued to the page. 'Simon, can you put the book down and talk to me?'

Simon closed the book and sat up, an irritable look in his eyes. 'Yes, Alvin?' He persisted.

Alvin smiled in satisfaction. 'I wanted to ask how far away spring is.' He admitted, trying and failing to keep a calm and confident look.

Simon's blush was evident, now. 'Two days.' He replied. 'Why?'

Alvin shrugged. 'I guess I was just curious.' He stood. 'Thanks.'

As he turned away, he scowled. Two days? That's all I have? Two days until I have to deal with... with... spring?

'Uhm, Alvin..?' Simon called him back in a tentative voice. Alvin rolled his eyes and turned back to Simon, giving him an inquiring look, impatient.

'What?' He asked stoutly.

'I...' Simon looked down. Was now the right time? Would it ever be? 'I wanted to... to say good luck. For spring.' He concluded. Alvin's eyes went a little wider.

'Uh, thanks.' He said slowly. 'You too.'

Simon nodded. 'A-and that...' he took a deep breath and stood as well. 'L-last spring, I...' he searched Alvin's blue eyes, finding impatience and a little of fear. 'I...' he swallowed, 'we went through a lot last spring, and remember how we both kind of... fell, for each other... well, I guess...' By now, Alvin was reluctant to stay, he didn't want to hear that. He didn't want to be reminded of his slip-up last spring, and all those attractions to Simon that weren't real.

'Simon, I... I don't want to...' Alvin sighed at the rather desperate look Simon's eyes showed.

'I guess my...' Simon turned away, folding his arms to keep his hands from shaking, 'I think I still...' Alvin shook his head, curiously panicked, not believing he was hearing this, 'I still have... those... feelings.' Simon finished. He didn't want to see Alvin's reaction, he just wanted to hope, he just wanted to be able to still imagine that Alvin would accept this.

Alvin was in total shock. He hadn't seen this coming.

Truthfully, it made a lot of sense, but he didn't care about the reason, he just wanted to be away from Simon. Everything just got that much more complicated; Alvin felt that hollow feeling coming out again, but he ignored it. This was... this was too much. This couldn't be real, he must be dreaming – right! – that was it. This was all some nightmare... he'd fallen asleep.

'Tell me you're kidding..?' Alvin whispered pleadingly. Simon almost choked as he felt tears forming.

No, this was not how I wanted it... He thought wildly, thankful Alvin couldn't see how fast he was trying to hold his emotions together; he felt like... everything was crumbling around him. Alvin was gone; the loving brother who had held him willingly was gone...

'Simon...' Alvin continued, '... that can't be right... you can't...' he bit his lip, '...please, Si, it can't be true...'

Simon tried stopping all the emotions from making him start sobbing, but even if he did, what could he do? He couldn't just walk away without giving an answer, and he couldn't simply give the answer. Could he?

'Alvin,' Simon got out calmly, 'I... I wouldn't lie... about this.' He replied.

Alvin shook his head, the whole world was crashing around him. He couldn't stay here; he left the room quickly.

The strangest thing was, Alvin wanted to comfort Simon. He wanted to hold him and tell him he felt the same way – but, he wouldn't do that, because he didn't feel that way. Did he?

Alvin left the house, confusion written all over him, trying to figure out whether or not he could say what he felt. He didn't know what he was feeling anymore. He wasn't sure how he could deal with this... Simon wasn't the same, like Alvin thought. Simon was in love.


Yikes, I'm all solemn after writing that...

I guess it's a big thing to spring on you all in the first few chapters, but I had to. It needed to be here, and it goes along with everything else.

So, Simon confused Alvin. Which, I suppose, is better than rejection, right?

Anywho, thanks for the reviews so far! Next chapter will be up tomorrow, I hope :D