Hi! A week later later, here I am. Writing another chapter. I am so proud of everybody for caring enough to review! THANK YOU GUYSH:cries:
Wow. That was freaky beyond belief. Sappy version of Shenzi? Ugh. :shudder: Well, Ill try to go back to being me...dude, I've heard the same song on the radio twice in the past half hour...oh well.
Want to know the real reason I haven't got more chapters up? I'm lazy. I had this all written out, spell-checked, and EVERYTHING and I thought it was too short. Too short. Yes, you read that correctly. This chapter, which is longer than the last, is TOO SHORT for me. Ugh. Anyway, it's up now, and now that I've written this, I'm going to have to spell-check it AGAIN. Feh.
Oh yeah, I own nothing. Except the PotC II poster I got out of the Trib.
Oh well, here goes:
CHAPTER TWO: --insert title here--
As you may (or may not) remember, our heroes (ha, yeah whatever) were in various traumatic situations when we left them last. JOHNNY DEPP and ORLANDO BLOOM were running around screaming (oh, and trying to not be eaten by cannibals) and KEIRA was running around pretending to be male. Lots of running was involved.
Ext. Ship, not a pretty as the Pearl which is not QUITE as pretty as the Surprise.
KEIRA KNIGHTLY
I totally look like a dude.
SAILORS
You mean you aren't?
KEIRA KNIGHTLY
Um...sure, I'm male... (makes a wedding dress fly around)
Ext. Black Pearl
ORLANDO BLOOM
Hey, Johnny? Why do we have to go so fast? My stomach hurts (whines).
JOHNNY DEPP
Shut up and go faster! IN THE SHALLOWS, DAMN IT! (twitches)
Oh yeah, they escaped the cannibals using comic relief. Two pirates from the first movie and a dog. Very amusing, but if you want details, see the damn movie.
JOHNNY later decides to BE A MAN, and he goes to see BILL NIGHY.
Ext. Nighttime, utterly spooky for no apparent reason.
ORLANDO BLOOM
Why are we here?
JOHNNY DEPP
We needed a reason for KEIRA KNIGHTLY to try to save your sorry ass.
ORLANDO BLOOM
Save me? You mean...
JOHNNY DEPP
Yep. Sorry mate, but you had a nice run, and anyway, I'm more attractive than you are, thus giving me a reason to stay alive.
CRAZED ORLANDO BLOOM FANGIRLS (alright! AND FANBOYS. Sorry.)
No! Orli's the prettier one! (they attack JOHNNY DEPP)
GORE VERBINSKI
Wait a minute, YOU'RE NOT IN THE CAST! (calls security and arrests fan people)
JOHNNY DEPP
Right. Well. Uh...SAY HELLO TO DAVY JONES FOR ME! Arrr. (pushes ORLANDO overboard).
ORLANDO BLOOM
Hello BILL NIGHY
BILL NIGHY
You are now my slave
ORLANDO BLOOM
Damn.
Meanwhile, KEIRA KNIGHTLY is busy finding out where the love of her life is.
KEIRA KNIGHTLY
Where's JOHNNY DEPP?
PLOT DEVICE
In Tortuga .
KEIRA KNIGHTLY
Jolly Good. (goes to Tortuga )
Ext. Tortuga, looks just like the ride in Disneyland . Probably filmed there to save money on actors and set. And costumes. Wow, they could save a lot if they tried!
JOHNNY DEPP
I need drunk people! Drunk people who want to be in the crew of the Black Pearl and don't mind losing their immortal soul! OVER HERE! (Drunk people, including JACK DAVENPORT, cluster around JOHNNY DEPP)
JACK DAVENPORT
I'm drunk and looking for a fight. Hey, someone I hate (he launches himself at JOHNNY DEPP)
KEIRA KNIGHTLY
I am reminiscent on Viola from Twelfth Night. Stop fighting, men who love me.
JOHNNY & JACK
Huh?
KEIRA KNIGHTLY
Um...I'm a guy. Carry on.
The fighting leads to comic relief on Ms. KNIGHTLY's part, in which she knocks JACK DAVENPORT out and says something to the effect of: "I wanted to do that myself."
JOHNNY DEPP
Well, I'd better get out of here (acts comically, relieving the audience from the stress of the bar fight)
KEIRA KNIGHTLY
Not without me, you aren't leaving.
JOHNNY DEPP
What do you want?
KEIRA KNIGHTLY
The man I love.
JOHNNY DEPP
Well, I'm flattered, but this is such a bad time-
KEIRA KNIGHTLY
NOT YOU! ORLANDO BLOOM (sigh)
JACK DAVENPORT
(vomits)
JOHNNY DEPP
okay, let's go.
They party on the seas for a bit, JOHNNY hits on KEIRA who flirts with him for some UNEXPLAINABLE REASON.
KEIRA KNIGHTLY
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU THREW MY FIANCEE AT BILL NIGHY AND RAN AWAY!
JOHNNY DEPP
Uh...no?
Meanwhile, ORLANDO BLOOM has been reunited with his fadre, BOOTSTRAP BILL.
ORLANDO BLOOM
DADDY! (loses at dice)
OH NO! Our heroes :snicker: are trapped! ORLANDO BLOOM has lost his soul to BILL NIGHY in a game of dice! KEIRA KNIGHTY is stuck on a boat with JOHNNY DEPP, and JOHNNY DEPP has JACK DAVENPORT and an effing KRAKEN to worry about! WILL THEY MAKE IT! find out next time on-
This fic has now been ended due to stealing of copyrighted material from DC Comics.
Batman belongs to DC comics…oh and METV, I guess.
Thanks to:
Harry's Girl --thanks, you pushed me to finally putting this up.
Galinda -- love the name, what'd you think of Mr. Davenport (dans cette chapitre)?
Fly -- thanks for the spelling stuff, I'd fix it, but then I'd have to delete the first chapter and it'd screw everything up. I promise to fix any further mistakes though.
Psycho -- glad I could make you laugh.
Shloop! -- I'll have to make a deleted scenes chapter and put that in.
Arwen -- yay! Thanks for reviewing.
Masked Fairy --I'm sorry, I've written so much pointless stuff, it's rather hard to break the habit. Hope you liked this one better! Sorry about Keira, spell check didn't fix it, so I assumed it was right. It's correct in this chapter!
Grey -- take me seriously? This is a parody! It's a joke! I don't hate the movie, I'm fondly mocking it! Sorry for the spelling though…I'll work on that.
Rebel -- right on.
Jade --wow, that is one heck of a compliment! Thanks!
A:lksdjf:lks -- Huh? I don't understand…
Scribe -- thanks, I love the French thing too…I amuse myself so easily…
Daydreamer -- go you, indeed I wish I could afford $9 to go see it again…well, I guess I could, but then I would have no money for theatre.
Norry Fangirl -- wow! Thanks for not hating this parody! I feel special!
Just to be --heck yeah, I saw it in costume! I'm still wearing the medallion and boots (well, that's 'cause my other shoes fell apart but STILL…)
Thanks for liking it (unless you didn't in which the previous statement doesn't apply to you).
