Ailments

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Fear

"Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain."
-Mark Twain


She inhales and exhales in rapid motions, her heart screaming against the cage of her chest. She can feel it beating, fast, fast, faster, and she briefly wonders if it might burst.

The metal is still cold against her forehead, and her skin has gone clammy and pale with sweat.

Just do it, just pull the trigger; just pull the trigger and—!

She closes her eyes, no—she squeezes them shut and slams her finger against the trigger in a burst of courage.

Nothing happens.

Because she didn't put any pressure on the trigger. Her eyes glaze; she merely lets the gun drop from her hands and lets her head fall against her knees in a pathetic motion of defeat.

Yukari Takeba is a social butterfly, she is beautiful, she is popular, she is confident and tough and—

She's weak.

She knows that Io is inside of her, waiting to fight, waiting to be summoned.

But she can't do it.

She overcomes this fear quickly, when she learns that there is no time to be moping around; under Minato's guidance she learns to fight. Junpei joins too; they're both the basic newbies, since Minato was special. She is comforted by this fact that she's not alone when it comes to the hesitation of summoning your Persona. But Junpei is still much more fearless than she is; he learns much quicker than she does.

She hates it, detests it when the shadows manage to cast evil touch or smile. Everything that she'd manage to overcome just comes flooding back to her and it won't go away until someone uses Patra or Me Patra…

Pull the trigger, pull the trigger, that shadow in front of you is nothing compared to before—

But the eyes and the flesh and the darkness meld together and her legs shake, the evoker shakes in her hand, bringing it up to her head is scaring her…it's cold against her skin, cold, cold, cold, and that shadow is more frightening than she could imagine…her legs won't stop shaking, and her body is trembling…

Yukari watches Junpei and Minato attack the think with precise movements; how can they stand that? She can hear Mitsuru-senpai and the sound of shattering glass as Penthesilea appears to do her bidding…the air is cold, but Yukari is colder.

The evoker is still shaking in her hands. It looks like a gun, exactly like a gun, she was bringing a gun to her head

But how the hell can she just stand here like this, trembling? She hates that, she hates herself for this, because she had long conquered this and here she is, back to square one—

Her own glass shatters.

"Io! Magaru!"

The shadows disperse in a light maelstrom of wind, and the darkness of fear lifts from her body. She pants, the sweat on her skin still clammy and cold.

"Oi, Yuka-tan…" She hears Junpei say, the tapping of his footsteps nearing.

"Takeba?" Mitsuru-senpai inquires, coming closer as well.

She sees Minato's shoes in front of her, his silent question.

She pulls herself up, stands up straight, and looks deep into their eyes. The evoker is gripped tightly in her fingers, and Io is inside of her, waiting to prove herself. She is Io, Io is her, and they are both ready.

"I'm fine." She says, her voice unwavering. "Let's go."

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End Notes: Still haven't made it through The Answer; I had sort of a love-hate relationship with Yukari in The Journey. I didn't like her jealous side too much, but otherwise she was pretty cool. Pretty, confident, charismatic, social. She seems like an utter bitch in The Answer, but she gets better, and my friend says that she has a reason, so.

Overall, she's the sassmaster, so still a love-hate relationship. :P

Also I don't know why the title isn't centered, it's sort of bothering me. D: /tries to prod it back into place