Authors Notes: Sparatus might just kill Shepard one day.
Love to annoy you
Shepard woke up to the persistent beep of her terminal. She grunted, almost rolling out of bed, her feet hitting the cold metal floor. Dragging herself up, she padded over to her desk, pressing the accept button, recognising Anderson's call name, "Morning, sir," She yawned, stretching her body.
"Heavy night?" He laughed, noting her bleary eyes.
"Just a little. Did you need something?"
"The councillors have agreed to meet to discuss evacuating the colonies."
Shepard nearly fell down in shock, "Are you sure they are the real councillors?"
Anderson chuckled, "Pretty sure. We are meeting in an hour so get sorted," Shepard ended the call, stepping into the bathroom to turn the shower on.
She stripped off her clothes from the night before, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Two circular bruises on her backside, caught her attention. Thinking back on that night, she realised it must have been Sparatus that caused them, "Turian bastard," She thought to herself.
An hour later she was in the councils meeting room, sitting with the Anderson, waiting for the others to arrive. Sparatus all but stormed into the room, obviously just having found out about the meeting. The meeting started, Shepard content to let Anderson do all the talking. Every now and again, she caught Sparatus eyes on her. She smiled slightly, this meeting was about to get a whole lot more interesting. She toed off a boot, stretching her long leg until she found one of his sinewy legs. He looked at her curiously, her face still remaining professionally cool as her foot moved as high between his legs as she could get it.
Sparatus felt her foot in between his legs. He fluttered his mandibles at her, his sub vocals letting out a mischievous sound. He'd read that humans could be very ticklish and now was the appropriate time to test that out. He ran his talon up her foot, watching as it was snatched away from his reach, "Aha," He thought, the Commander has a weakness.
Shepard pulled her foot away, seeing the triumphant look on his face. She shook her head at him before turning away to join the discussion. After the longest hour of Shepard's life , they had reached an agreement over the colonies, meaning Shepard could escape, she was starving and had work to do.
Later on, she had a long run around the citadel and stopped by the combat sim to extend her workout. Walking down in the competitors area, she stopped when she heard some familiar voices.
Oraka sat cleaning his gun as he waited for the others to get ready, "Will you girls hurry up. I want to start shooting things."
"Are you feeling frustrated because you didn't get a chance with Shepard?" Fedorian teased as he did up the latches on his armour.
Oraka grunted, "I'll have you know, I found a very nice asari to play with."
"Still not Shepard though is it?" Victus shouted across the changing room.
Pallin sat next to his old friend, "What is it about her that you like so much, Septimus. She's human."
"Venari. That woman could kick your ass. I'm willing to bet that she is dynamite in bed," Oraka stood up, moving to the gun bench, "I noticed you getting more than a good look at her last night."
Pallin rumbled deep in is chest, "Well, with legs like that who wouldnt look?"
"Sparatus," Corinthus remarked, "He hates the Commander."
"Believe me, the feeling is mutual too," Oraka laughed, throwing a look at Sparatus, "Decian, why don't you like her?"
"She's rude, demanding, disrespectful, crass, inappropriate and uglier than any krogan," He huffed.
The other men laughed, "She's not your wife, Decian," Oraka sniggered, "Shepard might be demanding but I can think of several reasons on why that's good."
"Why are you still married to, Nika?" Victus probed. He really had no idea why Sparatus hadn't ended the marriage, it was a miserable one and she refused to have children.
"She's the daughter of a retired Primarch. Decian cant divorce her without having a bounty put on his head," Fedorian sympathised with his friend. He couldn't abide the former Primarch and his daughter was just as horrible.
Shepard listened to the conversation, she almost felt sorry for Sparatus. But then, if she was married to him, she'd be horrible too. She walked into the dressing room, as if she hadn't been listening to their conversation, "Well, good evening, gentleman."
Oraka smiled at the human Commander, admiring how the leggings and hoodie showed off her figure, "Pleasure to see you again, Commander."
Sparatus could not help but notice the way Oraka was leering at Shepard, it was plainly obvious to anyone looking at him, and he felt something stir within him as he friend openly admired the Commander's physical assets. For some inconceivable reason, he wanted to slap the smirk right off of Oraka's face.
Shepard laughed quietly at Oraka's blatant leering. She knew enough to translate that noise she could hear from his chest, "Like what you see, General?" She asked crossing her arms and leaning back against the wall.
He got close to her, taking in her scent, a mixture of fruity soap and sweat, "What will happen if I say yes?"
"I don't know about that. I might be too much for you," She looked up at him, fluttering her eyelashes, resisting the urge to laugh.
"I've had asari, Shepard. You cant be that different."
"Oh, I'm better than any asari, Oraka. I know that there are things they don't do, that I would."
Oraka put his hand on the wall near her head, his mandibles pulling up into a smile, "And what would you do that an asari wouldnt?"
She looked up at him, her face very serious, "Have you ever had your cock sucked by asari?"
Like the other men in the room, Oraka had no idea what to say to her. It was true an asari had never done that as they considered it disgusting, "Humans do that?" He asked, quite shocked.
"Oh yes," Shepard said lightly, "Human men really like it. Imagine being in a hot, wet mouth. A tongue teasing the tip, swirling up and down your length. Imagine, being so far in a Human woman's mouth that you hit the back of her throat. Then you come so hard it feels like your exploding, your hot cum in her mouth. She might swallow or she might not. After that, she might just let you fuck her until dawn. That all depends though on how good you are with your mouth and how many times you can make her come," She smirked knowing that she just made all them speechless.
Victus laughed hard, holding his chest, "Septimus, this is the first time you've ever been speechless."
Shepard looked at Victus, then back at Oraka, "You fancy taking on a challenge, Oraka?"
He moved back, crossing his arms, intrigued, "What is the challenge?"
"If you beat my high score in there, you can all have one night with me. But if you don't, you have to declare humans, superior."
Oraka stood and thought about it. How could she, one person, best a group of turians? After deciding that they could possibly lose, he decided to accept it, "Ok, challenge accepted."
"Excellent. Go and impress me boys," Shepard watched their match and admittedly, they posted an impressive score, only Shepard knew she was better.
The group came back up, all looking pretty impressed with themselves, "See if you can beat that, Shepard," Oraka nudged her slightly, a look smug look on his turian features.
"Well, we shall see," She went down into the arena, confident that she could outdo them. Once the match was finished, she looked up at the scoreboard and laughed. She could just imagine the shock on their faces when they saw her score. She went back up in the lift, a smug grin all over face, "Well boys, that was fun."
"Ten points! You won by ten points. You lucky bitch!" Oraka couldn't have been more outraged. A human, one human had beat six turians by 10 points. He didn't know if he should be insulted or impressed.
"Well boys, since you already know that humans are superior, I wont make you declare it. But since I won, you can buy me things. I like weapons, chocolate, model ships, armour and shoes. Surprise me," She moved to get changed, leaving her six turian companions confused.
After some stunned silence, Victus got up to approach Shepard, "Shepard, we are meeting for poker later. Come along and bring Garrus."
Shepard smiled up at him, "Sure. Send Garrus an address and a time. See you boys later."
They watched as Shepard left, all eyes on her until she was out of sight, "Still into her, Septimus?" Pallin asked.
"Spirits yes! Question is, what do you get a human female, after she's trashed you?"
"Mmmm, she gave a list but better ask Garrus. He knows her best," They all agreed and changed before leaving the arena.
Sparatus sat waiting with the others for Shepard to arrive with Garrus. It made him nervous knowing that she would be in his home, on his territory. He had spent the last two hours, organising Shepard's prize. Although he loathed to do it, he was just grateful he didn't have to declare humans were superior. He'd rather have sex with a krogan than dare say anything like that. He hoped that he would like her prize. It took a lot of convincing Anderson to let him have access to the wreckage of the first Normandy. He knew she had been down to the wreckage to pay her respects to her fallen crew and he knew that must have been hard for her. No matter what he thought of her, he knew her crew were important and she felt their loss deeply. He had organised for someone to collect pieces of the Normandy and have it made into a scale model. It had been Garrus that suggested that to him, after all he had been on the Normandy SR1 too and it would be something that could be displayed on the SR2 as a memorial.
Finally, Shepard and Garrus arrived making their apologies for the lateness. Sparatus did his hardest to resist staring at her. She arrived in shorts, boots and the same leather jacket he saw her wear the day before. He knew she had long legs but something about seeing them uncovered tugged at his desire, the idea of them wrapped around his hips as he pounded in and out of her, nearly sent him over the edge.
Shepard put some bottles on the table, "Turian beer. An apology for us being late. We had to make sure the children were safely chained up on the ship."
Oraka laughed, "I have to know, why do you call them "the children?"
"Because sometimes its like being a frustrated parent because if you please one of them, you end up pissing off another."
Garrus nodded his head in agreement, "And they are prone to doing stupid shit at times"
"Exactly, so mummy and daddy have to make sure all of them are tucked up and bed before we can have date night."
"Ok, why is Garrus "Daddy" then?"
"Because he's my unofficial XO. When I'm not in charge, Garrus is."
"So the crew don't mind taking orders from an alien?" Fedorian asked, taking a sip of his beer.
"No. They like and respect Garrus for his skills and his knowledge. The younger ones look up to him."
"Right!" Corinthus declared, grabbing a beer, "Less chatting, I want to see if the Commander is as good at poker as she is at shooting.
They got the game started, just playing friend at first. Shepard had sat next to Sparatus and every now and then, a taloned hand would brush against the bare skin of her thigh. She knew he was doing it on purpose, trying to put her off, but she chose not to react to his game playing.
After a few more beers, Garrus decided it was time to increase the stakes, "So Shepard..." He started, "Who were the Superior and subordinate officers you slept with?"
She turned to him, her eyes narrowed with suspicion, "I told you, I'm not telling you."
"Would you trade the information for my rifle?"
"Fuck no!"
Garrus chuckled, "You up for a challenge?"
"What kind of challenge?"
"If I win your credits, you have to tell me. If you win mine, you can have my rifle."
She looked at her friend, his eyes boring into her eyes, "It's on, big boy,"
Sparatus watched as they played a round, knowing this was the perfect chance to get his own back on Shepard for earlier in the meeting. Just as she had locked eyes with Garrus, he gripped her thigh, making her lose concentration. It had the desired effect as she lost her poker face, Garrus instantly knowing she was bluffing. He watched with sick satisfaction that the infallible Commander Shepard lost.
"Alright Shepard. Who was it?" Garrus asked, almost too excited.
Shepard huffed out a sigh, giving Sparatus a glare. She was going to get him back for that stunt, "You remember Admiral Ahern?"
"The one who said that, teaching a turian to think outside the box was like trying to teach the krogan to be pretty?"
"The very same."
"How?" Garrus was surprised, Ahern didn't think too much of Shepard on their first meeting.
"I was horny, he was horny, we fucked. That's it."
"Fair enough. What about the subordinate officer?"
"You remember my little fan boy?"
Garrus turned away in sheer horror and disgust, "Please tell you didn't?"
"I did, it was his first posting and he was homesick."
"Oh Shepard. I just don't think I feel the same way about you any more."
Shepard nudged into him with her elbow, laughing at him, "Shut up. You love me and you know it," She turned to Sparatus, giving him the smirk he hated so much, "So did you enjoy getting a feel of my human legs?"
Sparatus stiffened slightly, trying not to show his embarrassment, "I just wanted to see you lose."
Shepard's retort was interrupted by the bleeping of her omni tool. She opened up the message groaning and put her face into her palm, "Garrus we better go."
"What's wrong?" He asked as he stood, quickly finishing his beer.
"Jack got Grunt drunk again. He's just destroyed the salarian statue on the Presidium, now he's dry humping the turian statue."
Garrus's eye widened, "We better get down there before he starts on the asari statue."
"Thanks for the poker gentleman. Oraka behave yourself."
"No promises," He called out to her as she left with Garrus.
Shepard got into bed after dealing with a very drunk Grunt. She had yelled herself hoarse at Jack for getting him in such a drunk state. He had vomited all over Shepard and she was fucking annoyed. After a shower and a cup of tea, she was ready to sleep, but the bleeping of her omni tool wouldnt allow that. She opened up the message, realising it was a chat request. She accepted after seeing Sparatus' name appear.
ETC request: Sparatus, D. Citadel, Serpent Nebula. 01:00 Local.
DS: Is the statue still in one piece?
AS: Mostly...
DS: What do you mean?
AS: They put the fire out...
DS: What?!
AS: Its still standing, is just a little charred. It now looks a bit like Garrus.
DS: That statue is of me!
AS: What! It looks nothing like you.
DS: On that we can agree.
AS: Awwww Sparty, this could be a turning point for us.
DS: Never call me that again!
AS: Sorry...
DS: No you're not.
AS: You're right, I'm not. That statue was ugly. Not saying that you aren't though.
DS: You know, they picked the wrong person for the Alliance recruitment posters. I though they wanted to make joining the Alliance, appealing.
AS: I'll have you know this face has got me far. My ass, well, my ass gets a lot of attention.
DS: Cant think why...
AS: Admit it Sparty. You'd ride my ass like a space ship if I gave you the green light.
DS: I can assure you I wouldnt. You are less appealing than a krogan.
AS: So you said. But I'm not your wife. That's right I heard what you said.
DS: Good!
AS: Night Sparty. I'll be thinking of you...Killing you that is.
DS: I hate you, Shepard.
AS: So why are you messaging me at 1am?
Sparatus, D is off line.
Shepard laughed to herself knowing she had got to him. Tomorrow, she decided, she'd go and pay the Councillor a visit. Just to wind him up, after all, he was starting to enjoy it.
