A/N:This was orginally intended to be a one-shot, but you guys convinced me to at least write a sequel. Make me happy and review please? Oh, and btw, I love this new song. It's called "Dat Baby Don't Look Like Me" By Shawty Putt feat. Lil' John. It's totally about the Maury Show, which I watch religiously. Like everyday. I make sure my schedule allows me to watch it... that's obession.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or "Goodbye, My Lover" by James Blunt. If I did, do you honestly think that I'd work for barely over minimum wage?? Seriously.
Did I disappoint you? Or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty, or let the judges frown?
I knew that you were going to be home early. Just like I knew what day it was. I knew that it was our ten year anniversary. I brought that boy home to show you that I wanted this whole thing to end. I mean, you didn't care what happened to us anymore. I don't know how many times I threatened to leave you, and you just told me to go. That's what pushed me over the edge. I couldn't just leave, you'd wake up
the next day and wonder where I was. I tried that before, remember? You looked and looked and looked for me for three weeks. When I came back to get my stuff, you asked me, with tears in your eyes, where I went. How could I tell you that you told me to leave? So I just lied and said that I needed a few days to myself. You looked at me with such relief in your eyes. You were so passionate that night. I hated that in order to go back to the way things were, I had to scare you out of your bubble. I just didn't expect the news that I heard today on my way to work.
They found your body today. I knew that they would, after the letter you sent me. I knew that if we ever ended, you'd die without me. Not because you needed me there to care for you, but because you were such a mess after the war, that without me, you'd never be able to survive yourself. I just hope that where ever you are. You're with those that love you, the ones that can love you like I can't. I'm not saying that I didn't love you in the beginning, because I did. I loved you more than life itself. Then you changed. I hated the fact that you were so eagar to please me. Like I was the deciding factor in your life. I knew that you thought that I was God. The one that would decide whether or not you would live or die.
In the beginning you were almost daring me to let you die. Like you just didn't care anymore. Then you changed. The fact is, is that in the beginning you were like your old self. Towards the end, I think you just dropped the ball. I think that it was around eight years after you killed Voldemort that you just stopped caring. I didn't want to deal with you all sad again. I hated you when you were sad, because no matter what I did, you were unconsolable. You didn't want me to touch you, talk to you, or even be around you. Then the next day, you would act like nothing had happened the day before. Those were the times that I hated the most. I tried to convince you to get help, but you didn't want the whole world to realize that you had some serious problems.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
You said that after the war, I took your life. I didn't want it like that. I wanted you to be able to live your own life without me there to pick up the pieces if you failed. I wanted to be able to tell you that I loved you without worrying that you'd hear the pity in my voice. I knew that if I didn't tell you that I loved you everyday, you'd fall apart. I couldn't have that on my concious. So I guess that everyone I knew was right, towards the end, I was with you out of pity. I didn't want you to think that our entire life together was all a lie, because it was never like that. I always loved you, it just started to fade towards the end.
I just want you to know Harry that I never would have wanted you to take your own life.
Never. No matter how much you hated me. I never thought that you'd leave me like that. Make it so final. I miss you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
They're calling me a killer, Harry. Me, the boy that couldn't hurt a fly. I guess they found that picture of us in your hand. I will never forget that picture. It was shortly after we had gotten together, and that Creevy kid took a picture of us when we were down by the lake. I don't think you were ever that happy again, not like you were on that day. I miss that boy. I guess that it doesn't matter anymore. You're gone from me forever. And I will never forget you. How can I when all I remember is you beneath me, next to me, cooking for me and just sitting there with me, when our day was too rough to talk about. I just can't believe that we don't have that anymore. Because of you.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye, my lover.
goodbye, my friend.
Just know, my darling, that I will be with you soon. Maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but when living without you gets too hard to do, I will join you. That's a promise that I will keep.
I love you, Harry James Potter-Malfoy.
For the rest of my days, I will always love you.
