A/N - I'm breaking my rule of sticking to one-shots. But only because I want to try a multi-chapter DS fic. I doubt this will be very long, but I may change my mind based on the response and based on where I decide to take this. It is still in very tentative stages. Everything from 6x08 and before is canon.


Blair dreamt in Audrey, and she dreamt in Marilyn. It was really no surprise. Blair was classy and sophisticated on the outside, or at least she used to be, and a wild child on the inside. She had her eyes set on one particular goal and would do all she could to reach it, but when the time came, something always went wrong. Something made her flee, something always scared her. And then she would shut down, or find a way to delude herself into her dream world, where she knew what was bad and what wasn't, and there was less of a gray area.

Serena, on the other hand, loved with an open heart. She was too trusting, and gave all she could and the only thing she ever asked for in return was the same. So, last year, when she had that dream where she was Marilyn and Blair was Audrey, she wasn't the least bit surprised. She loved and craved to be loved. But Serena, she didn't need it like Blair did. Blair was harder to love, and she was also harder on love. And Serena knows that it is people who find love to be the most difficult thing, who need it the most.

Maybe that was why Dan wanted Blair. She was so much harder to love. Her heart was tucked so deep inside her, unlike Serena's who wore hers right on her sleeve. Maybe it made Blair more satisfying to love, because it took more to get her to fall.

Serena shook her head, as if doing so would physically shake these thoughts from her mind. She'd promised herself she wouldn't go there. She would not think about him. But she couldn't help it. Especially when he'd been standing outside her bedroom door for the last four hours, begging her to let him inside. She was so close to having Vanya have security escort him out, because she'd have to use the bathroom soon.

"Serena, come on, please open the door. You can't stay in your room forever." He says, knocking half-heartedly. She had to give him major props for standing there for so long especially because she hadn't said one word to him since he'd started knocking. She'd originally hoped that he'd think that she wasn't there, but that had fallen through when she'd dropped her phone five minutes after he'd shown up.

"You can't stay out there forever." She says, finally. She hears him breathe a sigh of relief. He'd probably started to become paranoid, wondering if she really was out and had just accidentally locked her room.

"Watch me. I will." He says.

She sighs, and despite her better judgment, she gives in. She has nothing left to lose. When the door swings open, he falls in, regaining his balance before he hits the ground. It takes everything Serena has not to laugh at how awkward he is.

"I told you last week when you hounded me over my coffee that I don't want you in my life anymore." Lie.

"You're lying." Truth.

"I was not lying. Dan, I can't do this with you anymore. I don't have it in me." This one was semi-truthful. She plops down on her bed, stairs at her hands, which are clasped tightly in her lap. After a few seconds, he sits down beside her.

"I was wrong. I thought this was what I needed to impress you, to make sure I'd never get left behind again. I shouldn't have published that chapter." He sounds like he's telling the truth, but she knows him so well by now that she hears when something is off in his voice.

"Part of that isn't true." She can feel him move closer to her as she says these words.

"You're right. I was wrong in thinking that it would impress you, but I should have published the chapter. It wasn't a lie. It is what I thought." He's hesitating before every sentence, and she knows that he's nervous. But she still chooses not to look at him.

"Well, I can't be with someone who thinks so little of me. Now, please go." She's doing her best to keep her composure, not sound like she's whining or upset in anyway. She just needs him to leave. But of course, he doesn't leave.

"I was hoping that when I saw you, I would know that we did the right thing. But I don't feel that way."

This time, it was turn to feel like it wasn't the right thing. Something was always calling her back to him, as desperately as she was trying to shake it. He'd found her in the Hamptons, four years ago, and told her they'd made a mistake. But this couldn't be a mistake now. He wasn't that boy anymore.

"Once upon a time we had the same hearts." She says to him, finally letting her eyes meet his for the first time since their talk in the café.

He looks and sounds confused when he answers her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that we loved so openly and honestly. It was so pure and untouched. It was so real. We both loved each other the same way." A smile finds a way onto her face because she can never shake the feeling she gets when she thinks about what they once were.

"I love you because you make no apologies for being exactly who you are."

It was true. She hadn't, at the point. But now, all she does is feel sorry for herself for being so naïve and so trusting in all of her relationships. But, when she'd been with Dan, she'd felt like it was okay to be that person. She didn't fear the consequences, even if she knew they existed. She loved fiercely, and warmly, and everything in between.

Serena didn't need anyone. She could make it on her own. Deep down, she knew this was true. But it didn't mean she didn't want someone. Just because she didn't need itlike Blair did, didn't mean that she did not deserve it.

"Look at me. I love you, okay?"

It had always been so reassuring to have him. So absolutely wonderful and amazing. Nostalgia hits her very hard and she looks at him, really looks him at, trying so desperately to find his sixteen year old self in his eyes. She wants him to be there, so badly. But there's a huge part of her that aches when she realizes that they can never go back to their former glory. They were special. They had been everything that was beautiful about love. But now they'd become everything that was ugly about it.

"You're here. I'd be crazy not to come."

Where had they gone wrong?

"Whatever you're looking for, I get the feeling that you haven't found it." Dan says. So, he'd been on to her.

"We're not kids anymore, Dan. We're not hopelessly in love." The second part felt like a lie. She was in love, and it was hopeless in the worst possible way. He leans in, takes both of her hands in his. He looks slightly surprised when she doesn't immediately pull them away.

"We were so naïve. We didn't know anything. Do you really want that again?" He asks her. He seems almost disgusted at the thought.

"We knew that we loved each other." She says. His expression softens a great deal. He bites down on his bottom lip, unsure of what to say.

"You said that you knew we were forever." He says finally.

Serena knows she said that. She honestly believed it was true. She looks at him now, trying to see if he still looks like forever. She's coming up short and it starts to make her panic, until she reminds herself that she'd given up on them being forever.

"I was wrong."

"I know I was right."

"That's not what you said last time, Serena. Can't we just move forward?" He's pleading. She sees it in his eyes. He wants it to work, he really does. So where was her open heart now? Where was her warmth, her trust? Why was she suddenly so afraid of him?

"I'm afraid of you." She says it without thinking. To her dismay, he laughs. "It's not funny."

"No, you don't understand. This was what I wanted, two weeks ago. I thought fear equaled respect. And I got just what I wanted." He stops laughing and gets serious. He hands tighten around hers. "But now, I just want you."

"That's what I want."

She shakes her head, pulls her hands out of his. "Dan…"

He gets up, ruffles through his bag. From it, he pulls out a semi-thick pile of papers, stapled together in one corner. He hands it to her.

"The Final Chapter? What is this?" She's looking at the cover, as she reads the three words which give the pile a name. The final chapter of his book.

"It's the last chapter of the book. Read it, if you want to know how it all ends." He says, before grabbing his bag and walking out. She hears the front door shut behind him. She looks at the papers in her hand, her fingers itching to turn to the first page.

Instead, she throws it in the trash.