Chapter Two

Thanksforthefollows, andthereview. Sorryittooksolongtoupdatepartlymentalblock, partlyprocrastination, partlyreligiouslyrewatchingallofCommunity, andthenwatchingthecommentaries... Sorryifthiscomesacrossasfiller, butIknowwhereI'mgoingforthethirdactandconclusionanditneededsomesetup. Ithinkthenextchaptermightbehumongous, andprobablythefinalchapter - I'llseehowbigitgetsandwhathappens. Thanksforreading.

The women reached their camp in a leisurely fashion, as a group matching the pace of their slowest member (Shirley – heavily pregnant). "Whoooo, well this is... nice?"

The group looked up to see that the camp consisted of four large tepee style tents and a couple of sturdy but small sheds, each with a heavy bolt on the front. Exploration of the sheds revealed one to be stocked with basic foods - sacks of rice and a multitude of tins, and cooking equipment, and the other housed what had to be the bedding – a pile of threadbare sheets and itchy looking blankets, as well as some lumpy pillows. Three of the tents contained four beds apiece, while the fourth had a larger bed and an ornate chair.

"Brit-ta, I think this one is meant for you-hu", lilted Shirley, "You know, because you're the chief."

"What! I don't need special privileges, I have no more right than anyone else to this tent. To suggest otherwise seriously undermines..." as one the other women groaned loudly and hurriedly went to claim a bed in one of the other tents, leaving Britta with no option but to take the large tent. Sighing resignedly she threw her bedding on the chair and slumped onto the lumpy mattress.

-JASPTAB-

On the other side of the island the men were still disconsolately following Pierce as he stumbled through the woods in search of the other campsite. Jeff, unable to text without any service, was forced to pay more attention than usual to his surroundings and was having a hard time keeping his comments to himself.

"Pierce, why don't we just go back to the path and continue to follow it?" A mumble of assent could be heard amongst the trudging men.

"I happen to have an impeccable sense of direction – something you youngsters wouldn't understand with your stattellite navigation devices and your fancy flibbadeejibbets."

"Whatever, I'm gonna go back. Anyone wants to join me in actually walking in the right direction is more than welcome," Jeff said, before turning sharply on his heels. A number of the younger members of the class, including Fat Neil and Troy, cautiously eyed Pierce before following Jeff. Pierce huffed and muttered something about youths and homosexuals,vaguely waving his hand towards the retreating group before turning back to face the impenetrable undergrowth blocking his path. His group of followers now consisted of Chang, Starburns and some of his druggy friends and an unlikely bunch of jocks. Abed was stood at the back with his camera, muttering desperately about factions and rifts, and doing a fantastic impression of someone trying to split themselves down the middle. Eventually he seemed to come to a decision and turned his focus, and his camera, to Pierce.

-JASPTAB-

Hours later Abed ran from the bushes behind the boys camp, startling Troy who was happily constructing a campfire in the centre.

"Abed! I thought you were a bigfoot. Or a polar bear. Or a black smoke beast. Or a pig. Wait – is that racist?"

Abed shook his head before turning and focussing his camera on a particularly thick clump of foliage. Moments later the shrubs began to shiver and shake - causing Troy to sidle behind Abed - before parting to reveal Pierce, looking hugely dishevelled with twigs and leaves sticking out of his remaining hair and sweat and mud smearing his features. His sorry entourage followed him into the camp, which mirrored the camp on the other side of the island.

At that moment Jeff strolled out from the store shed. Abed hastily ran back to a position where he could easily pan between Jeff and Pierce. "I thought we were gonna have to send a search party," said Jeff, looking completely unconcerned.

"Don't get your panties in a twist, Winger. We were just checking out the surrounding area for any potential risks. Wouldn't want you ladies to feel threatened out here in the scary wilderness."

"Yes. Thank God. After that entrance nothing that stumbles into the camp will be a terrifying as what we just witnessed." This last comment attracted a chorus of titters from the group that had followed Jeff to the camp.

Frowning, Pierce approached Jeff and muttered to him, "Jeff, can I speak to you in private?"

"Sure - why don't we go to your tent," said Jeff, striding towards the largest tent.

Dropping his bag on the bed, Pierce turned to Jeff. "Jeffrey, I realise we don't always see eye to eye, but the fact is that we're very alike, you and I. That's why I want you to be my right hand man. The younger men respect you, probably because they fancy you, and I could use that to help me lead the tribe. What do you say?" Pierce smiled in what Jeff assumed he thought was an ingratiating way but frankly came off more like the creepy uncle you try to avoid at your Mom's birthday party.

"Ok, firstly, we are nothing alike. Secondly, the laws of the 'tribe' clearly indicate that age is valued above beauty, wisdom and the ability to not mess up every situation imaginable. That means that Chang should be your 'right hand man'. And then starBurns. Then me. Sadly I don't make the rules. Otherwise we wouldn't be half an hour from the women and all prospect of intelligent conversation. And thirdly, we are nothing alike. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go make sure Troy hasn't tried to eat a pine cone. Seriously. You'd think living in Colorado he'd know they aren't 'spiky peanuts' by now." With that Jeff turned and stalked out of the tent. Pierce sat heavily on his chair, but looked up at the sight of Chang sidling into the tent.

"So Winger burned you hey? You knew he wouldn't agree. He thinks he's so much cooler than you. Well you don't need him. You wait and see. Pretty soon Jeff Winger will realise that he needs you, and that he can't just throw you out of his life when he sees fit! With me by your side Mr Winger will have no choice but Chang the way he treats people...forever!"

-JASPTAB-

Britta looked forlornly around at the circle of expectant faces.

"You guys don't have to ask me what to do! I'm not any better or different than you. If you wanna go explore or whatever go for it. Don't wait for me to tell you what to do. You're free-thinking individuals."

The only movement was Annie's pen across her notebook. Hesitantly one of Britta's former fans raised her hand. Britta turned to her.

"You don't have to raise your hand. I'm not a teacher or anything. Anyone can talk to me, or whoever, whenever they want."

The girl - woman, Britta corrected herself - lowered her arm and asked, "So who's in charge of cooking? Or getting firewood? Or guard duty?"

"Guard duty? Who or what would we need guarding against? And I don't know - if you're hungry, eat. Or whatever."

"But what do we..." The question was cut of by Britta's shriek.

"STOP IT! I don't know, I don't care. Do what you want - I can't do this anymore!" she screamed, before bolting into the surrounding woodland.

"Erm, sweetie, how about you you go find some firewood with Tracy and Alison," Shirley said into the pregnant silence that followed Britta's sudden departure. The three girls Shirley indicated nodded and wandered into the foliage as Shirley began to allocate tasks to the other women, her voice and stance becoming more confident and authoritative with each second. Annie looked briefly after Britta, her face troubled, before returning to her notes.

-JASPTAB-